Those Damn Overgrown Pigeons!!
Oh, there you are!
Sorry about that; one thing led into another, and I just couldn’t get away.
Running a business can be a real drag sometimes.
So, where were we?
Ah, that’s right; the Pretty Pony Princesses.
*furrows brow in thought*
So, we’ve only got two left…
Should I just skip Twi, or…
*looks up and cringes mockingly at the interviewer’s expression*
On second thought, maybe I should tell you the tale.
Before we begin, I need to know something.
How much of the movies have you actually seen?
All of them?
Good.
*clears throat*
With some minor- and one major -details, those are almost accurate down to the letter.
Couple of things are wrong though.
Like the skin tone; forget the multicolor tones. Outside of hair color, their skin is the same shade that we Earth humans have.
The major detail?
Time.
*scratches his head*
Well, that’s only partially wrong. The Equestrian side of the portal is only open for three days. However, that translates to a full lunar cycle on the CHS side.
In short, that translates to something between three weeks; more accurately, anywhere between twenty-one and twenty-eight days.
That’s right; a month.
What this means is that Twilight was actually there for a far longer time leading up to the Fall Formal.
Plus, she wouldn’t have been able to get said crown if a certain Vice Principal hadn’t fudged some details.
Just thought I’d point this all out, as it has particular bearing on this tale.
Now, you’re probably wondering; how in the hell did I end up helping an alternate version of one of Equestria’s princesses?
More to the point; why did she need it?
Well, to put it bluntly, I had to help her because I was the only one that could.
Like all of my other stories, this one had no bearing on what you may already know; you can thank my efforts for that.
Because if I had not, it’s likely the show would have been cancelled due to Equestria going to war with the gryphons.
Sometime after I helped Twilight with the Cutie Map, I was once again summoned to Equestria. I’d spent the day using my alicorn magic to clean house; it’s a chore I have a tendency to put off too much, at least in some areas anyway.
When I arrived, I found myself in Twilight’s quarters; there, I met a pair of very frantic alicorns. Sunset Shimmer was pacing, muttering dire threats. Twilight was in a state of panic, her mane frayed.
The purple-coated pony looked up at me as I entered. “Oh, Able Hooves, you’re here! We’ve got a big problem, a really, really big problem!” She started hyperventilating.
I took her withers in my hooves. “Calm down Twilight. Panic isn’t going to help anypony.” She visibly calmed herself using the technique Cadance had taught her. “Now, whats happened?”
“I’ll tell you what’s happened! Those overgrown harpies have taken my friend, and are demanding concessions for her return! The stupid winged cats think that they’ve got Twilight. Well, they have her alright; just the wrong one!” Sunset’s mane started to fray. “I can’t do anything to help without starting a ‘national incident’!” She broke down in tears. “I just want to save my friend!”
Both mares looked up as an angry snort came from my nostrils. “So that useless, feathered popinjay wasn’t willing to take the warning I gave? I even bent my rule to never help anypony other than ponies and Earth Dragons. That’s the last time!”
My eyes glowed a bright white. A spell bubble appeared, surrounding the three of us; with a flash, we were teleported to Gryphonia.
So, you’re probably wondering what I meant by that.
The thing is, I’ve never been limited to just ponies and their cousins. I’ve been summoned by just about anyone from Equus, and from all races.
However, I’ve seldom been willing- or able -to help the other races. Most of it is because they seem to think that they can refuse or renege on payment.
That is not my rule; that is how the magic works. Things usually go bad if you refuse.
Like getting turned into a mouse, for example. Thorn’s just lucky that the Bloodstone Scepter is able to neutralize chaotic magic like that.
The other reason is because I’ve often found myself on the receiving end of violence in defending ponies from the other races. The only ones that don’t go out of their way to do that are dragons; there’s even one or two dragon clans that I’ve helped.
Like Spike’s clan.
The only time I’ve ever gone back on that rule is when refusing would affect a race as a whole. And while I have had issue with the way gryphons are towards ponies in general, I have helped them out on a number of occasions.
By the way, when I say gryphon, there’s actually several different varieties. Those of Griffonstone are griffons; being so closely allied with- and even having some hippogriff ancestry, something that doesn’t come out in the show -makes them only slightly larger than ponies with few variants.
Gryphons, on the other hand, aren’t as uniform. Their soldiers are often as large as an Emperor Eagle mixed with a Sabertooth Tiger. For the ruling caste, you often find falcons mixed with the larger cats.
What sets them apart from other races is the fact that the royal clans are- by choice -carnivorous. There’s no biological need for it really, as they do grow and eat grains and such.
Anyway, that’s all incidental knowledge. All you really need to know is that I was forced to help them due to their actions. I only did so because it would have meant the death of the entire race; most of which are just trying to get by.
How did I help?
If you want that, then I should move on, as I told both Twilights and Sunset shortly after we returned.
Needless to say, Twilight wasn’t happy with me.
Come to think of it, she wasn’t happy with Celestia or Luna either, as they both agreed with my actions. In point of fact, Celestia told her that hers would have been worse; she’d have put almost an entire race to the sword.
She can be very brutal when her ponies are threatened.
A group of tiercel bodyguards greeted us just after I teleported in. Before they were able to do anything, I activated spells I had laid long ago in preparation for this moment.
A distraught alicorn with a darker-colored coat looked up and made to move. Three of the tiercels made to accost her; before they were able to, two were scorched raw while the third was frozen.
I’m not subtle when angry, and I hate those that threaten the innocent.
More troops flew in, escorting the Emperor. He was followed by a Priest of Eris.
My eyes flashed red; a bolt of purple-and-green laced mana turned the Priest to ash. Before anything else was done, I cast a powerful charm that froze all that were against us.
I stalked over to the scowling royal. “ I warned your ancestors!” With an effort, I controlled my anger, though my voice still resonated. “I warned them that there would be consequences if they took any action that either involved my hated enemy, or was a threat to peace! So what I promised will happen as it should have! Your people will be truly preserved by the loss of those who think they rule!”
With that, a flare of scintillating Chaos magic flowed through the entirety of the Empire; when it was done, all of the gryphons- save for the servant griffs -present were now stone.
With a snort, I teleported myself and the mares back to Equestria.
When we returned, a very angry purple alicorn glared at me. “That is not what was needed! Orchestrating a rescue is what I was expecting, but not something like this! Now there’s going to be war; something we were trying to avoid!”
I shrugged. “It was inevitable; they didn’t heed my warning. At least now the house will leave me alone about my payment from the gryphons.”
Sunset looked at me curiously as Twilight stalked off. “You say payment? So you’ve helped them then?” I nodded.
“About three centuries ago, a virulent plague that causes cancerous tumors in the thaumic glands was spreading through the griff races. I was called to find a cure by the griffons at first.” I walked over to a nearby pile of cushions and plopped down on them. “When that happened, I was accosted by the then-Emperor; he threatened war with Equestria if I didn’t help cure what his Priest-Doctors had created as a weapon. My payment was punishment of those guilty; I was stopped by his daughter.” I scowled. “You saw that promise being carried out.”
“It doesn’t matter! You knew something like this would mean war!” Twilight stomped over to me. She glared at my smirk. “And you’re happy about it!”
“Hey, if the gryphons can’t seem to settle their differences without killing each other, what’s it to me?” My smirk grew at Twilight’s stunned look. “Oh, did you think it would mean war with Equestria? Not likely; you can’t make war with what you don’t have.” I gestured in the direction of the distant Gryphonian Empire. “The five largest gryphon clans are now without their leaders; they’re all statuary. Marble, as preferred. And their Priesthood- those that worship the Dark Pantheon -are all ash in the wind.” I crossed my hooves. “Besides, it wouldn’t have gone that far anyway; you have Queen Peregrine and her hippogriffs protecting the passes. I cast spells a long time ago that roast any chicken that tries to invade outside those paths.” I sighed fondly. “Should be good to see Perry again; it’s been awhile.”
“Perry? You have a nickname for this Queen?” The other Twilight asked curiously. I nodded.
“Yep. She’s probably wondering when I’m gonna visit her again anyway; it’s been awhile since I’ve seen my great-great grand-cubs.” I smirked at the shocked expressions on the mare’s muzzles. “Hey, what can I say? There was need, and besides, Poly was one hot griffin.” My smirk turned into a scowl. “Her father, though, was a piece of work; the only one I hate more than him is Eris herself.”
I got up and trotted over to Twilight. “Twi, listen; it was a good thing that you called me. Anything else would have meant Sci-Twi’s death.” Sunset and the other Twilight rolled their eyes at the nickname. “I’ve done more to preserve this country than you or anypony else will ever know. Even in anger, I won’t do anything that will bring war; nor will I ever let you all face things you cannot fight.” She sighed in exasperation.
“I get that, but you should have said something!” I shook my head.
“There wasn’t time, and you never asked prior to all of this.” Twilight facehoofed at that, causing the rest of us to giggle.
I spent the next couple of hours explaining- in detail -what I had done in the past before leaving for home.
So, there you have it.
Questions?
Oh, that.
*gazes at interviewer with lidded eyes*
Where do you think the first hippogriffs came from anyway? Not like the xenophobic Equestrian ponies of the time would have done it.
Besides, as I said, Poly was cute, sweet, and a lot of fun.
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Thanks for the update!!
So you're the reason behind hippogriffs, you bastard! You do realize that thous over glorified pigeons act in general like a collective bunch of horse's asses (I'm looking at you Silver Quill...)!
I'm going to tell Mary Sue and Mad Munchkin who's responsible for this debacle...
just kidding, love the stories, please keep them coming
8188869
Well, he started it at least. Not sure if there are any FiM hippogriffs or not; I'm a bit out of the loop with the show.
That's why there's been few updates as of late. Trying to stay within canon while at the same time playing merry hell with canon is hard when you've only got as far as the first five episodes of season 5, and like two of season 6.
There's probably no relation; there were other hippogriffs. Jake was the first to found a family of them.
But even if there was, you cant blame the ancestor for how his descendants act. Like how Bluey acts.
Course, with him, it is an act.
8160459
I'd have to agree. I don't like either of them; one was just there for tween drama, and the other was a meta-joke.
Both are Milky Toast as far as I'm concerned.
8188869
May I ask where Silver Quill is from?
I'm rather intrigued
8194014
Yeah, the female pronoun is kinda weird. But that is just the impression the presence of the magic in his mansion has.
8189113 Silver Quill is actually a pretty big name in the fan base, check out his channel in YouTube
8196052
Danke
Dude! Awesome chapter! Hope to see another one soon.
well I guess that's where I stop reading this story.
It's not my fault I heard the legend of the everfree will give you cancer.
8208191 geez it was a joke.but this story is going weeks per chapter. Months even. But its still a great story. But bros in equestrian will always be my favorite.even knowing the author ended it like ape shit.
8209151
Oh, well, my bad.
As an apology, I erased the post.
Again, my bad.
Sometimes I can be a little literal-minded.
8210026 it's fine.
8209151
About the update issue.
I'm something of an inconsistent writer. I not only have to be in the mood, but I have to be bored with whatever else I'm doing at the time. I usually write when I've become burnt out on games, and want a break.
Then there's the other issue; writer's block. I sometimes get stuck on a certain point in a story. While it's true that I don't really plan my fics, I do have a general idea as to where the story is going.
I'm kinda stuck on that point right now. Mostly it's because i'm not sure how to do what's planned without making it seem like a repeat of what I did with another character. I should have something up soon.
8329280
2.bp.blogspot.com/_Umc6s6J3SPs/THfunRlzi1I/AAAAAAAAABs/pHLd7mypetc/cake.png
I will give you one like!
Thought at times I kinds wish the chapters where a little longer, like the happening with King Sombra, I'd had liked to seen a more detailed happening of that story. But other then that I am still enjoying...
8478095
I might end up detailing some of these stories in later fics. Probably a series of one-shots that will detail specific ways that Jake helped from the Equestrian point of view.
That won't be until I finish this one though. Which will be whenever I get over my hump for both the latest chapter, and my hesitation to watch any of seasons 5-7.
The Cutie Mark Map really threw me for a loop; since then, I've mostly focused on fanfictions.
8523652
Two things.
First, his name is actually Jake. I know that there's a point where he's referred to as John; as I said, that's a mistake I haven't got around to fixing yet.
As to Twilight's reaction; pretty much the same level she had when trying to figure out Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. She didn't believe- much to Jake's pleasure -in gods at the time.
Her views have since changed. Running into the power behind Jake's house will do that.
More please
i has so many questions
8549951
I may or may not have the answers. It all depends on the questions.
If it's about his relation with Perry, I can't answer that.
Not because I'm keeping those things to myself, but because I honestly have no clue.
Maddening, I know, right?
As to answering those questions, there may be some stories that go into further detail. They won't be in this fic, as this fic deals specifically with Jake's relation to ponies and Equestria.
8550010
well right off the bat that answered like 5 of them thank you but the big question I have is if centaurs are a thing in this verse then can we see some then
8550038
That's hard to know. Centaurs are canon, as Tirek is essentially one. However, I don't know if I will be writing any stories involving them. I already took a number of liberties both with gryphons and satyr.
The only way anything like that can be done is if I somehow involve Jake with Scorpan. He's the only other centaur-like creature- aside from Tirek -that has had any interaction with Equestria. And we all know how that ends.
If I knew more about G1, I might do something with Tirak, but I'm only familiar with G4 ponies.
At this point however, I really don't see any centaurs in Jake's future. At the same time though, don't rule it out. While I probably won't cover it in this fic due to it likely finishing after a few more chapters, I may do a few SoL that detail some things Jake has done that didn't involve ponies.
8550640
alright well good luck to you
Is there going to be a new update soon?
9014857
Not in the immediate future. Since I'm trying to keep this in canon as much as possible, I have to watch seasons 5 through 8 to get a rough idea of where to go.
That, and I'm sorta, well, stuck on the next part.
The biggest issue is that I really only write when in the mood for it, and lately, I haven't been in the mood to write.
9044023
My point exactly.
9015149
.
godspeed
9015149
Done watching?
9073212
Haven't started yet. And even if I had, it still won't change the fact that I haven't been in the mood lately.
And showing any level of impatience will only anger me. As reflected as to the fact that this story is now marked on 'Hiatus'.
I'm sure others will thank you.
9073381
Well... it could be argued that 'hiatus' is a better representation of its current status anyways. I don't see what there is to be angry over.
9073844
I'm not really angry so much as annoyed, and not at you.
I haven't wrote anything on any of my stories because I'm stuck. I'll probably have to unstuck myself at some point.
But yeah, I need more details on Trixie's and Starlight's relationship, as well as the appearance of the Pillars.
As to watching the show, how the writers handled Starlight Glimmer as a whole prior to season six kinda soured it for me.
9074327
Glimmer... yah I can see that.
9074327
The comunist pony is the reason I no longer watch the show.
9164339
She isn't a commie anymore
9164339
The commie pony is the sole reason I watched the show
Oooooh genocide me like it chapter
Snrk, there are times when one might wish a governmental reset.