PaP: Bedtime Stories

by Starscribe

Good Timing.

Lonely day wanted to strangle somepony. She wasn’t sure who to target, wasn’t sure if she would even get the chance. But it was exactly what she wanted.

It wasn’t all that unusual for her to receive anonymous gifts. Her work with the HPI created a fair number of refugees who would remember her face, even if at the time they would’ve been far more concerned with simple survival. But when years passed, once they secured themselves in what was left of the earth, many wanted to express their gratitude.

Even if Alex did nothing to advertise her presence, it wasn’t hard for them to find her. She lived in a tiny guest-house on Cloudy’s property, where she could come and go at strange hours without waking anypony in the main property. Besides, building it had been great practice for another home she maintained, one that would have to last for far longer.

This gift had arrived like any other, waiting on her doorstep when she stepped out in the morning. A simple bouquet of white flowers, with a few tiny blue blossoms tucked away on the inside of the paper sleeve, making the whole thing glow with a gentle pastel blue when she held it up to the light.

Alex did the same thing to it she always did, cleaning out an empty vase and setting it up in her living room. Keeping flowers like this was excellent practice for an earth pony honing their craft, and Equestrian lore suggested that a skilled florist could keep them alive indefinitely. Alex washed an oversized human vase, settled it on her pony-height windowsill, and filled it with fresh water. The water ran, to her pride, and came out sparkling. Thanks to the work of thousands of ponies, Alexandria still resembled a city as she knew one, even if their old-world relics broke down.

It was only when she wrapped her lips gently around the stems that she tasted something off. Six decades of life had given her occasion to eat many things, including flowers. But she’d never tasted that flavor. For a pony with a perfect memory, that was concerning.

She dropped the vase on instinct, eyes widening as the possibilities blurred through. Was it another assassination attempt? Didn’t they realize those didn’t stick?

Alex ran to the cupboard, where a slim white pouch marked with three letters rested beside her cans of vegetarian chili. It unzipped as she got close, opening to reveal the bevy of drugs inside. “Your life signs read—”

She didn’t hear what the HPI emergency doctor said, because at that moment the magic took effect. She dropped to the ground, mewling and kicking at the wood. It took only a few seconds, seconds of indescribable sensations. It was like someone had tossed her into a campfire.

As quickly as it came, the spell was finished. Alex groaned, blinking confused eyes and trying to stand—only to flop uselessly to one side. Wait a minute. I’ve been through this before. Had something just changed her back?

Impossible. If something undid the preservation spell, I’d be dying right now. But she wasn’t in pain, even the transformation hadn’t been painful so much as disorienting. She could still see fur when she looked down at her foreleg. Even if it didn’t look quite right.

Am I a… biped? Alex closed her eyes, trying in vain to remember what it was like to stand on two legs. Her perfect memory didn’t extent to her brief human life, and what she remembered of it was no clearer than any geriatric might have of their childhood. Something like…

She rose to her hooves, sort of. Her legs didn’t work quite right—obviously she remembered less about walking on two legs than she thought. It wasn’t falling forward from one step to the next, it was more of a hop, bracing both legs and lunging forward a little, using her arms to balance the jump. Was that right?

She had a mirror in her bathroom, the only one in the house. It was best to look at herself as little as possible. She loped over, keeping one foreleg against the wall when she could. She tried to curl fingers around the edge of the table, or the top of a chair, but that wasn’t working quite right either. If this is what hands are like, my memory is bucked up. They were way nicer than this.

She kicked the bathroom door open, having to stand up on her tiptoes to reach the lights. Humans aren’t smaller than ponies.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, eyes glazing over as she saw…

She was a rabbit, apparently a fairly large breed and enough control to hop on two legs. There were the gigantic ears, the tiny button nose, the stupid tail sticking out from behind her. But aside from being a rabbit, she wasn’t changed that much. Her colors were the same, her mane was the same, even her braid was the same as Amy had tied for her a week earlier.

“Uh…” She reached up, touching the huge teeth emerging from between her lips. “That’s… not great.” Except she spoke with a lisp, trailing the s. Her tone had been childish enough without butchering every word.

She felt her ears fold down in embarrassment as she saw the rest of her reflection, whimpering once. At least being a pony meant that her anatomy was out of sight, and that had helped her adjust to the nudity thing over the years. But like this—there it was in front of her, just like her ancient human self remembered.

“You’re bucking kidding me.”

She turned to one side, trying a few more steps—now that she knew what she was dealing with, she didn’t fall over. She couldn’t walk, only shuffle uselessly forward. Or hop, pushing off with comically oversized paws and landing a stride ahead.

“Why would…” she landed beside the flowers, spread where she’d dropped them beside the paper wrap. Now that it was removed, she could see a note written on the inside, one she hadn’t been able to see when she unwrapped it.

Enjoy the holiday, Archive. And my flowers.

There was no signature, and she was utterly positive she’d never seen that handwriting before. She looked down, sniffing at the flowers. They were closer to her now—if she had to guess, she was about the same height as a foal, and about half the size in general.

She hadn’t smelled them before, but now that they were unwrapped, the poison joke overwhelmed the roses. “I though we got rid of you.” She said, glowering down at the little blue flowers. They didn’t respond.

At least I didn’t eat any. There were rumors—just rumors—that the changes they caused when injected couldn’t be cured.

The cure recipe filled her mind, as fresh as if she’d recently made it. But it didn’t matter. Today was Easter, and the school was shut down. Even if she could somehow get halfway across town as a rabbit, she didn’t like her chances of taking Joe away from his video games on a holiday to brew her a cure.

I’m stuck until tomorrow, she thought. Fantastic.

First things first. Alex hurried to the fireplace, having to hop up on the bricks beside it to reach the handles and pull it open. She reached forward, gathering lumps of small sticks in her mouth. They tumbled out all over the floor. “Not this again!” she whined, one leg thumping rapidly against the brick in agitation. She reached for the sticks with her paws, but they didn’t have thumbs or even fingers. She could dig a hole with these, but not start a fire.

“Great. Something worse than being a pony.” Alex hopped down off the fireplace, finding she settled naturally onto four legs when she jumped down from something taller than she was. The position felt natural, and a few more steps reinforced that. Push off with her hindlegs, catch herself with her forelegs, then push off again.

Alex stopped beside the flowers, lifting them up into her mouth and loping back to the fireplace. Even if she couldn’t burn them now, she could at least get them out of the way. Other ponies didn’t have to suffer because she’d been exposed.

She couldn’t bleach the floor, even if there was a bottle under her sink. She’d just have to hope there wasn’t enough pollen. Now, who can help me. There was only one answer—the same pony who always helped her.

Alex stood up, gripping the door with difficulty between her forelegs. The knob was meant to be opened by mouth, I the earth pony way. But her paws didn’t have quite the gripping strength. At least not until she braced her legs up against the doorframe and kicked. It swung open slowly, letting the midmorning sun spill in.

And lots of other smells. Chickens in the yard, which her nose passed over as quickly as usual. Then her guard dog, a little less so.

Sadie was a husky mix, a puppy Cloudy had received along with a foal she’d adopted recently. She was taller than Alex even when she was a pony. But now—there was danger in the air. This was predator’s territory. The grass wasn’t worth it here. She should run somewhere else.

Alex shook her head once, landing on four paws again and edging forward on the wooden deck. How far away was Cloudy’s house, really?

With her head so low to the ground, it looked like a mile. Grass stretched away into the distance, with a tall wooden fence separating the house from the rest of town. Alex the pony could jump it easily. At half that size, Alex the bunny couldn’t imagine landing it.

She ran. Even if the motion had nothing in common, this at least was something her pony self could relate to. It was like galloping, but moreso. Her powerful legs flung her several body-lengths forward, where she could briefly catch herself with her forepaws and push off again another second later. She smiled despite herself, feeling her braid stream out behind her as the house rushed up to meet her.

She was moving so fast she nearly smacked directly into Sadie. The dog dropped low, baring her teeth and growling at her—a towering monster compared to what she was used to.

Alex squealed in surprise, making a panicked sound that was neither pony nor human as she rolled to one side. Her body turned much sharper than a pony could’ve, twisting in near ninety-degrees directly past the dog. She didn’t stop to think, couldn’t try to tell apart the happy barks from the protective sounds it made when strangers got too close to the house. She just ran.

She felt Sadie following more than she saw her, through the thumping whenever her paws connected with the ground. She squeaked and pushed herself as fast as she could, little heart beating several times as fast as any pony could manage.

Oh god what if she eats me right now Cloudy will have a heart attack. Idon’thaveacutiemarkmaybeiwon’tcomebackohgod—

She felt teeth closing around her and she kicked out desperately, pushing straight up instead of sideways. Something closed around her fluffy tail, shortening it painfully—but she kept going. Instead of moving forward, she fell in a wide arc, landing on the other side of the porch railing.

Sadie stopped, sniffing at her and glowering, but she was too big to fit through. She’d have to run to the back to get around. “Stop chasing me!” Alex pleaded, her voice coming in agonized gasps. Her old Huan would’ve recognized her instantly, she was sure of it. He’d been the smartest dog she ever knew.

Sadie tilted her head to the side, like she’d understood.

But just for a second. Instead of running to the backyard to try to get up, she jumped, landing with her forelegs on the railing and scrambling with her hindlegs to push her up.

Shit! Alex bolted as fast as she could, running for the front door. It was already swinging open, maybe she could get—

Sadie was right behind her, growling furiously. I’m just a bunny! Why do you hate me so much?

“Sadie, what’s going on sweetie?” Cloudy asked, her voice reproving. “I don’t see anything on the street. Are you barking at the delivery truck again?”

Alex landed beside her legs a second later, staring up at Cloudy from much lower than she ever had before. Her fur felt rougher, her voice lower, but none of that matter. She darted behind her, pressing herself desperately against her friend and cowering. “She’s trying to kill me!” she squeaked. “I didn’t do anything!”

Cloudy Skies stopped dead, eyes glazing over in confusion. Sadie didn’t, and she kept charging straight on, only skidding to a halt on her claws when she nearly bit into her master. She lowered her head, barking so loudly at Alex that her ears started ringing.

“Sadie, sit,” Cloudy ordered. The dog was only slightly shorter than she was, and weighed about the same. But in spite of everything, she sat. Her barks relaxed into a constant low growl, baring her teeth at Alex.

“Now, did I hear something?” Cloudy took a step back, dragging her with her along the floor. She backed all the way inside, letting the screen door bang closed behind her. “What are…” She pushed Alex to one side, ignoring Sadie’s wines from the other side of the door.

For a few seconds, Cloudy just stared down at her, just as shocked as she’d been before. “I didn’t know Alex was breeding me a pet. I guess she is full enough of herself to make it look like her.” She leaned forward, touching her brad with a gigantic nose. But where the dog outside smelled like danger, a pony only smelled safe. Only because she knew this one, obviously. They were friends, that was the only reason.

“Or maybe someone slipped her poison joke,” Alex said, lisp and all. “Did you maybe think about that?”

Cloudy winked, then turned to shut the front door and shut out Sadie’s sounds completely. “You always wonder what it will do to your friends,” she muttered. “I never thought it would make you something so, uh… topical?”

Alex rose onto two legs, clearing her throat and tapping one paw on the wood floor. It resonated with a thump each time she struck. “How about going for some help?”

Cloudy shook her head. “On any other day, maybe. But I’ve got a better idea.” She walked away, returning a few seconds later with a wicker basket in her teeth. She dropped it onto the floor beside Alex, as large as she was. “Maybe you could help me hide these?”

Alex stuck her tongue out, then kicked out with one leg. The basket slid slightly, not even falling over. “No.”

Cloudy’s response was interrupted by a faint crying sound from the kitchen. Cloudy left the basket behind, hurrying away towards the distressed foal.

It was Apollo, the baby refugee Cloudy had recently adopted.

Alex followed behind her, though she was beginning to doubt whether she would get any help from her friend. Maybe she’d just keep making jokes.

The foal sat on a low cushion in front of an even lower table, with a bottle now rolling slowly away.

“I don’t understand why you keep going through this,” Alex muttered. But most of that was her own frustration. Cloudy might’ve already asked her to help if she wasn’t a comparable size and even more useless.

Cloudy ignored her completely, but the foal didn’t. Apollo stopped crying, his eyes never leaving her. He grinned with only one tooth. “Bun!”

Cloudy set the bottle back down in front of him, but he didn’t so much as glance at it. “Bun,” she repeated, offering him the stuffed doll on the cushion beside him. An old human toy, meaning its coat had gone more gray than white. It was also the same size as Alex, though the shape was much less realistic. “There you go, sweetheart. Your bun.”

“Bun.” He shoved the doll aside, then pushed away from the table.

Pony infants had a few distinct advantages over their human counterparts—they were far less helpless. In less than a second, he was standing beside her, his off-orange coat glowing in the sun and his stubby wings extended uselessly. “Bun!”

“Yes,” she answered, exasperated. “Unfortunately.”

The foal leaned forward, nuzzling her affectionately. Alex finally relaxed, letting him do it. The foal was gentle enough that she didn’t feel threatened, with the same safe smell as cloudy. “You’re cute, Apollo. I’ll give you that.” She tried to push him away with a paw, unsuccessfully.

“Mine!” He wrapped one leg around her, pulling her in up against his chest.

“Be careful with her,” Cloudy cautioned. “She’s not a toy, Apollo.”

He just grinned back.

“Call Joe,” Alex muttered, her voice only partially muffled by the pony looming over her. “I want my antidote by tomorrow.”

Cloudy approached, looming over her. “How about we see how good you are at hiding those eggs first?”

Author's Note:

Zutcha made me do it.

Comments

[theoldenbrony]

Thank you Zutcha, that was cute!

[Zutcha]

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/546557638691913729/560788949715648514/unknown.png
(accidentally posted this in the wrong chapter)

[Chyre]

...d'aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww...

[Alden MacManx]

Author's Note:

Zutcha made me do it.

Suuuure he did, Star. It's still wonderful.

[Condray]

Good timing also since I've been re-reading the whole series, trying to sync up stories here and in Eternal too, and this fits right where I was!

9579423 Saw your Bun-ly Day on Tumblr, and just thought it was cute, now I like it even more!

[Dravkwn]

It's all bun and games til somepony loses an...

[Fistfire]

Loved it!

[Alicorn Capony]

Hah excellent.

[Zilverfoss]

Alex be like; "Discooord!"
Happy Easter

[ChaosDX1]

Reminds me of the Peachette Crown chapter, and is no less amusing.

[Yami Vizzini]

Okay then.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9579423
We all deeply appreciate your efforts.

[Munro]

oh my when i got to that picture it killed me xD

[Oreng Pingvin]

Image to the don't work

[Mindscape]

Oh no, the image has a 404 error!
Please fix it, must see the bun!

[Starscribe]

11555574
Fixed it.

[Mindscape]

11555636
Huzzah! the cuteness intensifies!
and yes, I can certainly see how this chapter happened now. Good art is always an excellent excuse for a silly slice of life chapter

[Thundoryey]

11555636
Somehow the picture is broken again

on a side note is there a place where all of the pictures related to this series are collected?

[DrCygnus]

11555636
It's broken again, Upstream Error this time, how bout linking the image instead of trying to upload them into fimfiction?
anyways I found the art on Zutcha's Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/zutcha/art/Lonely-Bun-794695967