“Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it's time for them to be hurt.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
I think that on some level I knew what I was doing was stupid, irresponsible, and counterproductive.
Being someone with 40-plus years of experience under my metaphorical belt, I made those first few weeks a little slice of parental hell for Chrysalis. I took every unsupervised moment to search and explore. Said unsupervised moments got to be fewer and farther between with each incident, a couple of times she even slept in the same bed. Honestly, that was going a little far, in my opinion. I mean, sure, one of those was when I had wandered into some fresh construction and nearly got trapped when the entrance to that section of the hive closed up behind me. And yes, the other time was when I’d stumbled onto one of the...er, “love harvesting” chambers and seen things that baby-bug eyes weren’t supposed to see. Honestly, I’ve seen worse...hell, the fact that I’ve got a daughter proves I’ve done the stuff they were doing. Of course, I couldn’t say I knew what all that was about and it was no big thing, thank you language barrier.
Once I’d gotten a good solid idea of the layout of the place, I began searching the hive for books. Apparently, there’s not much need for books in the hive, what few I did find were from ponies, or at least, I assume they were pony written, as I couldn’t read the language. It didn’t match the writings I’d seen on the walls and the few changeling artifacts that had writing on them.
Then there was my attempts to use magic. I’m sure “mom” was laughing with me. I’m sure that I was finding it just as hilarious as she was that I was grunting and straining like I was constipated and only little sparks came out of my horn. I’m absolutely sure that her being collapsed on her side, panting in laughter because I made a tiny little firecracker-like pop at the tip of my horn that left my face blackened and sooty was in no way a blow to my ego. She kept snuggling me and cooing in affirming tones while dropping loads of love onto me when I failed to produce anything, so that was nice, at least.
Next up, find a way out of the hive.
Why was I doing this? To get home.
See, I had figured that I had this new lease on life, exploding fuel trucks notwithstanding, and I was now a princess to boot. Sure, I was princess of a nation of spies, but if nothing else, I’d get me some sweet, sweet diplomatic immunity. Ignore the speed limit and park wherever I wanted? Who wouldn’t want that?
OK, I was really trying to get home to my daughter. For two years it was the realization that I had to be there for her that got me out of bed every day. She was my only reason to be awake, to pay my debts, pay my bills, to face my ex-wife...she was the reason I even kept living. Other people may have helped pull me back from the edge of suicide, but it was them reminding me of my daughter that kept me going.
Even now, right after I woke up every day, I would spend the first fifteen minutes or so with my eyes closed, recalling every feature I could of her face, the sound of her voice, the fairy-bell tinkling of her laugh...horse-bug or not, I was never going to let myself forget her.
Then, I would spend another 15 or so minutes focussing on my memories of my wife. The times we laughed, the times I held her when she was crying. Even some of the times we fought until 3:00 AM over really stupid crap. The first time we had sex (six months before the wedding), the first time we made love (the honeymoon), when she wanted to get experimental and when she wanted it simple. How she looked in her business casual clothes, how she looked in her church clothes, how she looked in a swimsuit, how she looked naked. Even with as much heartache she caused in the last two years, I still loved her dearly and never wanted to forget her, either.
So every day, I’d wake up with a new determination to see them again. Where there’s life, there’s hope, right?
Honestly, if I’d just woken up in Heaven’s Waiting Room after the accident and told I’d have to stay there until either my wife or daughter joined me, I wouldn’t have blinked. That conformed with everything I’d been taught since joining the Church with how the afterlife was supposed to work.
Waking up being re-born as a bug-horse-queen hatched from an egg in a kid’s cartoon show? Not so much. Consequently, everything I knew was in question, and with no way to communicate my plight to my new family, it was up to me and me alone to get back to the people I loved.
In the confines of my little room, I was hidden from the hive-mind, some aspect of the room’s construction acting as a faraday cage to the mental hive connection. This was mostly done as a protection for my own mind. Momma Chrysalis saw how agitated I got with the constant droning of the background whisper of the hive and so allowed me more time with my own thoughts than I think she was really comfortable with. I could tell from the many (many) times she took me to see the caretakers that she was growing increasingly concerned about my lack of native changeling abilities. While we were with the caretakers I got a chance to interact with the hatchlings, and I actually found that the most enjoyable, save the time spent with “mom.” Just like human babies, these cute little wriggling grubs were overflowing with loving and happy emotions. Even when one of them injured itself, it wasn’t long before the playful nature of infants overtook them and they were once again joined with the other hatchlings in whatever activity I couldn’t quite figure out. Sometimes I’d join them, allowing myself to be a kid again as we invented games on the spot, introduced rules, tossed those rules out, then changed games within minutes of the first.
Most nights these days Chrysalis would stay in my room, the entire hive-mind reduced just her and I. Apparently she was trying to acclimate me to the idea of thoughts beside my own being in my head, and I was grateful for the gentle and slow tempering process. Such was the case tonight, having fed me a hearty portion of love (I have no idea how I was ingesting it, just that I never seemed to need to actually eat, so I assumed my body was doing it as some sort of autonomic process), she had drifted off to sleep curled up around me. I could tell, because the gentle humming of her thoughts, which only occasionally were “loud” enough for my mind to interpret to something that I mentally recognized as English, were reduced to the telepathic equivalent of a snore.
Tiny little filly-sized legs, bug-like or not, aren’t built for manipulating an alicorn sized body. It took quite a bit of effort to extricate myself from “mom’s” loving embrace, but I managed it quickly enough. It helped that my as yet filly-like body was small enough to squeeze through the spaces I’d manage to wedge open.
As soon as I left the room, I felt the hive wash into my consciousness. I admit, I was getting used to it, and since “mom” was asleep, I thought I’d run a few experiments. I need a way out, I thought. I…’listened’ (for lack of a better word) to the susurration of the hive-mind. It took a moment, but soon I had an...impulse. Almost as though a smell was passing across my ears, if that makes any sense, I had a sudden sense of a direction I should travel, and it was guiding me forward and to the left.
I could work with this.
It took the better part of an hour (by my reckoning) to reach what the hive-mind reassured me was an exit. It looked to be just a blank wall. It was then that I remembered that the Changeling hive in the show had seemingly randomly opening and closing entrances. With a sigh, I sat down to watch a wall and mentally reviewed my plan.
Step one, orient myself. Pretty much any Brony has seen the studio released map of Equestria, and so everyone knew the Badlands were to the south, with Appleoosa to the North-West and Ponyville to the North-East. Basically, assuming the sun rose in the East and set in the West (assuming a lot about an alien planet where the star is controlled by an intelligent being on the planet’s surface, I know...I had to start somewhere, damn it!), get a fix on my orientation and travel North until I hit a train line, then follow that. If I got to Appleoosa, stow away on the train to Ponyville. If I got to Ponyville, head straight for Twilight’s castle and hand myself over. Risk? No thanks, I prefer role playing games to tabletop strategy. Essentially, find a way to communicate to Twilight, who was sure to have something in her library to help her magic up a translation spell, then explain my situation. Being the planet’s living expert on trans-universal portals and travel, surely she could concoct something to get me a gateway home. Heck, even if I was here before Tirek showed his ugly mug, then I’d still be on my way home, just with a longer timeline.
Just as I was stifling a yawn (it was past my bedtime, and I was a growing changeling) the portal in front of me lensed open. I hopped through it and started scrambling to the surface as fast as my little changeling legs could carry me.
When one’s plans are formed in the desperate throes of denial in the mourning process, one tends to go off half-cocked and not thinking things all the way through. After all, why wouldn’t Chrysalis maintain standard diurnal sleep cycles for her hive? It wasn’t like the hive wasn’t built like a termite mound where it towered above the surrounding landscape, making it just as much of a surface city as the rest of Equestria...oh, wait, it was!
Standing in the light of the full moon under a starlit sky, I felt all forms of idiot as I realized that even if the sun travels the same direction as Earth’s, I’d be waiting at least 10 hours, if not a full 12, before I could even see the sun.
Even worse, I looked up and saw the Mare in the Moon staring down to Equestria.
Forget a 10 hour wait, I was at least 6 years too early.
At some point I’d dropped to a sitting position, just staring up at the moon. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but before too long, I heard a much larger changeling come up behind me. Chrysalis settled down on her belly, her forelegs crossed at the pastern (or whatever the hell the equivalent of a wrist or ankle is on a changeling), just watching me for a time.
The night air started to cool to the point where winds were starting to pick up. Still gently, but as anyone who’s lived in a desert will tell you, that wouldn’t last. Chrysalis finally spoke, “Mofoblitz, lazap sislaf able reiltas nedril mizule sislaf lazap looking swoquix, foxclore bookbox?” I sighed again, folding my forelegs like her and leaning, our carapaces clacking together as my head hit her shoulder with a thump. I felt her wing touch the top of my head gently, a move similar to a pegasus wrapping their wing over a loved one or…
...or a parent trying to comfort their child.
I was doing a lot of sighing, lately. I had a feeling I would be doing so for quite a while yet. I did so again and said, “All right, mom. Let’s go to bed.”
As I stood, Chrysalis used her magic to lift me onto her back. I was too broken hearted to object, and besides…
...she was mom. I knew how much a parent wants to dote on their infant children.
I turned my head to look at the moon, letting it be the last thing I saw of the surface that night.
So, I was about to go to bed, when I saw a changeling in the new stories list. I decided to read this before I slept, assuming that it would be a mediocre read at best. I assumed that it wouldn't keep me up, that it wouldn't kick my mind into high gear.
I was VERY wrong on that front. Not only was the writing high quality(imo), but its also a premise that I always enjoy reading about. People always have a different take on this type of story, changeling or not, and you haven't left me disappointed in the slightest. I find myself adding yet another high-quality read to my watch list.
You've also left my mind ablaze, with only the three chapters you've released. This always happens when I read something I like a lot. I try to think on what path the author might take. I try to glean as much info about the story as I can with what little I have. I'm going to have a VERY hard time falling asleep tonight due to your quality writing good sir.
I eagerly await the next chapters.
great start, do you plan on a time skip now or more foal stuff
7942109
I'm trying not to timeskip as a badly as I did for DTT. :) I'll be doing some jumps forward, but only when there's nothing interesting happening worth writing about.
7941806
Oh, stop, I'm blushing!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw11099-398172__safe_solo_blushing_vector_octavia_reactionimage_octaviamelody_artist-colon-reiduran.png
Like it so far, a lot. I was worried for a moment that he'd leave just life that, I imagine Chryssie would've been devastated.
Very well written, can't wait for him to learn enough to be able to communicate with his new mom.
This man seems very idiotic too me.
In the case that he gets home, what is he going to do? Go to his wife's house knock on the door and say "Hey honey, turns out I'm not dead, I just got transported to another dimension where I got turned into a bug-horse and the opposite gender, oh, and I'm also a baby. Wanna fuck?." or is he just assuming he'll get turned back into a grown, male, human.
7942968 Yes.
7942968
7943357
Refer to: The Name of the Chapter
7942968 You forgot to include the part about how she despises him enough to falsely accuse him of abuse in a courtroom, a clear sign there is a 'happy' relationship waiting for him back on Earth.
I'm torn about this story so far, the bits about his ex-wife, and how much he pins for her, kinda of annoy me.
But the rest is really well written and picked my interest.
7943412 But that's readiiiiiiiiiiing!
This is great. I never understood why the Self-Insert is hated so much.
7944133
Two reasons, actually:
1.) Most self-insert in other fandoms tends to be the first thing written by an author out the gate, and the culture of said fandoms tends to not allow for the learning curve. Brony culture has, pretty much from it's foundation, been the sort to accept first attempts for what they are and positive feedback is not just the norm, it's expected for just about any creative endeavor. Card games, plushies, crafts, software, stories, art...you name it, Bronies are willing to deal with the obnoxiousness of the first effort and nurture interest and growing skill. This approach helps the newbie creator leave their ego at the door (you're far less likely to defend dreck to the death if your effort and intent in creating said dreck is acknowledged and praised rather than attacked simply because you're not a Hemingway or Tolkien right out the gate), resulting in feedback being accepted and used with far greater frequency than it would be otherwise. Also, this friendlier treatment creates a positive feedback loop: Create something, get praised, desire to create more results, create another something, get more praise, etc. It's not long before the S.I. fic in Brony-dom is a master-work and the creator is moving on to other works, sometimes other fanfics, sometimes completely original stuff.
2.) Most S.I. main characters are Mary-sues without the mask. They're "perfect," they're everyone's best friend, they always get their waifu/senpai, and they always save the day. MLP:FiM is a universe with already established "perfect" characters (the Alicorns) who still get their ass handed to them periodically. It's like the setting is designed to prevent Plot Dominance by a Mary-sue. (I don't think that's the case, but it just happens to be such)
This is pretty good. Can't wait for more
Wow I can't wait to see what happens next keep up the good work update more soon please
This is one of the most interesting and high quality fics I've found in a while. The premise isn't new, but the execution is just....I can't seem to put how good it is into words! Maybe that's because I need sleep. Whatever! I love the depth of this with the numbness and denial he (she now) is experiencing. It means so much more when that kind of detail is involved. I was not expecting much when I saw the cover, but man, were my expectations flipped! I'm happy to say that I'm eagerly looking forward to seeing more!
7947474
Yeah, I kinda need a better cover, but I can't find something that captures how the thing starts plus where I'm going to take it.
7947708
Amusingly, though I own "Fault in Our Stars", I've never read it past chapter 2. I love his YouTube videos, but his written works and the movies based on it are just...not my cup of tea. He does have MAGNIFICENTLY quotable material, though.
Man I have read a lot of stories with this premise but this has to be the best executed I have found so far :)
Well. This is some good shit. I want more already.
This could be a good story, I hope to seen more of this story.
7947864
J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, writer of the best of the Real Ghostbusters episodes, and if you're watching modern media, co-creator of Sense8, and he has more awards for his work than most people have fingers and had an asteroid named after him.
How bad does the Gore get ?
7947630 I think that's okay. The biggest reason I decided to try reading it was because of the upvote/downvote ratio. I figured there must be something special about it if it has so many upvotes per downvote!
This was a bit of a surprise, with the current cover being what it is (sexy-long-mane-pony version of Chrysalis). I always love the stories that begin, at the beginning! re-born into a new body, not just suddenly appearing as if from nowhere.
7949939
Pretty much just what was in Chapter 1. Gratuitous gore in writing (especially in MLP) always struck me as a, "Hey, read my edgy, edgy fic!" move. Given the visual of car parts jammed through a human body, I figured I'd better throw the "Gore" tag up, even if that's the most gory scene in the entire fic.
7950096
Egads! I must really be on to something here, I've already got content analysis going!
7950457
I analyze a lot, basically every story that happens to catch my attention. In concept, this story seems similar to Changing Views but with a heavier tie to the protagonist's past. The exploration of changeling moral norms and perhaps a re-imagining of events is what I am looking forward to. So you do have my interest.
The execution of the story is good so far. Sentence structure, spelling, and grammar are all there (even if the occasional word is not). I noticed a few places where the wrong word was use or just missing. Chapter length is shorter than I would like considering the scope this story seems to be headed towards, but I feel that can be made up with the number of posts; work, life, and all other things considered of course.
I am curious if the protagonist will discover she has some infant changeling qualities beyond the hive-mind connection. Infants of humans are able to pick up sounds and language quicker than adults; so I am hoping for some other small changes that will become more apparent to the baby queen.
Actually, seasons one, two , and three all take place over the span of a year. In a little under a year, Twilight Sparkle had moved to Ponyville and became a princess. I would like to think that three seasons for us make one year for them, but I can't prove that seasons four, five, and six take place over a year.
But where is my proof, you may ask. Well, we have seen several birthdays in seasons one to three, but never for the same pony twice. Holidays like Hearths Warming, Hearts and Hooves day, Nightmare Night, and the Summer Sun Celebration all happened exactly one time in those three seasons. Even minor events like the Ponyville Elementary talent show happened once and once only in those three seasons.
We have seen a second Nightmare Night episode and a second Hearths Warming episode, but those were after season three.
However, the best evidence that I have to prove my point is that the season four premiere heavily implies that it has been one year. Looking at the transcript for Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 1, we can see Princess Celestia say "For my subjects, it has always been a celebration of my defeat of Nightmare Moon. But for me... [sighs] It was just a terrible reminder that I'd had to banish my own sister," and "But now it has become a wonderful reminder of her transformation back into Princess Luna, and our happy reunion. I am so pleased that you will be playing a role in the festivities. I know it must have been difficult to see your friends return to Ponyville without you."
Why would Princess Celestia say that if it had been three years with Princess Luna back? Why would she say that if it had been any Summer Sun Celebration other than the one thousand and first?
7951607
Oh, I'll be commenting on the whole "time" thing in another format, but minor spoiler on that; I don't buy that even just Season 1 took place in a single 12-month year. Back during the S01-S02 hiatus, I sat down and mapped out each event, made some educated guesses on context, figured out seasonal shifts, moved episodes up and down the timeline to account for the "this is the first season of a 22-minute toy commercial targeted at little girls, who gives a f**k about production quality" effect, and the end result was that S01 takes place over at least 18 months.
That's not even taking into account the individual character's growth. Not such an easy thing to detect among the Mane 6, sure, but the CMCs are maturing at pace throughout the run of the show, both in writing and in how they're performed, to the point where they've aged roughly 4-6 years from S01E01 to today. This isn't even counting the other off-screen events that have to happen for the series to function as it does narratively.
As to Celestia's statement, I think of it like the excessive exposition that happens when the Friendship Express is used to start an episode. (DWK calls it "The Exposition Express" for a reason) It's a narrative tool that's handled in a...somewhat hamfisted way. Perhaps this is the first time she feels comfortable revealing this information, since she's no longer dealing with a subject or student but a peer? Maybe it's because Luna had been the only other pony who knew what happened and Twilight is privy to LOADS more information than nearly all of the rest of Equestria combined as her position as The Element of Magic.
Point is; it makes loads more sense from a story perspective and a chronological perspective to have the current run of the show last 5-6 years in-show. (And I'm not even touching the EQG universe yet)
7951607 I discount that. it's a year a season. 1-3 can't be one year because pinkie has two birthdays in that time.
7953334
I am fine with restructuring the timeline, because we don't have to be constrained by the limitations of an episodic 22-minute toy commercial. Here on FiMFiction we can make it more epic.
I recall reading one fic in which it was revealed that the main six stumbled around in Everfree Forest for upwards of a week -- in a far more involved and taxing venture than we saw in the cartoon -- before defeating Nightmare Moon. And you know what? I liked that idea. I like making it more epic.
As for touching EqG. . . Please don't!
As for this story, I'm following. Even though there are some elements that I'm not too fond of and would do differently (for example, neither the show or comics have ever hinted at a "hive mind"), it's well-written, and I want to see where this leads.
7953437
There's a few dozen fanfics that use this, and it really does work nicely. My personal preference is they managed to get through in the course of a night, especially since later seasons established that the Castle of the Two Sisters is canonically only a couple hours walk from Ponyville once you know the path.
Me: I'm touching EQG! *touches*
Sunset Shimmer: Stop touching me!
I'll be doing some playing in this sandbox, but not a lot.
Yeah, the hive mind is definetly a fanon creation. I like it, though, and as there's nothing directly contradicting it in the show (hard canon) or comics and books (soft canon), I'm using it. :)
7953482
Oh, the castle. . . The one that, at the beginning of the series, was merely a 1000-year-old crumbling ruin, yet later somehow had intact rooms and hallways, semi-intact tapestries, books, suits of armor, still-working traps, pipe organ, etc, etc. Because it made for a fun story, never mind contradicting what we've seen before.
Personally, my approach to "canon" is that Season 1 and 2 are real (minus Cadance having wings, since that was a last-minute change and a forewarning of madness to come) and everything after that is some kind of delirious fever dream. Which I guess makes me Quibble Pants. But that's OK. Because he's part of the delirious fever dream too. (And the Daring Do books are actually written by Twilight's mom anyhow! Nyah! )
7953889
We're all allowed to have our headcanons. I have a headcanon for Star Trek that never featured that horrible, should never have been produced, hamfisted, preachy "Greenpeace" episode. Star Wars doesn't have Midichlorians, Nowhere Man didn't have the weird episodes halfway through, O'Neil and Carter get married after Richard Dean Anderson left Stargate, and the eighth Harry Potter movie was more like the books than the movie.
Last scene in this chapter is poignant. I wonder how Chrysalis interprets all of this? Maybe a side-chapter, or even a side-story, from her point of view would be in order. Or if that would be too spoilery or distracting right now, maybe it's something you could come back to later.
just had to comment that even on our planet this isn't generally true. sun could be a few degrees up to 90 degrees off depending on where you are on the planet, and moving any sort of distance being a few degrees off is huge. yeah, there's much other things wrong with that plan, but I felt a need to talk about the one people commonly think is fact. loving this story so far!
8317572
Considering he know's he's either on or at least close to the equator, cause of his location, I think we can let that fact go.
I don't usually care if it is a self-insert, but at the same time I don't understand sometimes what's the difference or something like that, I just remembered that you said it I think and I just had that random thought that it could have been a random human too.
I'm curious about that, either there is still some form of sex that they use to get the love even when you said no one or at least the queen would not be some kind of whore, or they kind of forcefully stole their love.
Okay I suppose they mean sex and I'm not sure how they do that with the ponies or creatures probably being more frigthened than anything else. That and at least some stories said sex would be a weaker love source.
I'm honestly curious....and kind of wanting to prevent them to make sex his job or like in one of those stories the changelings ending up in some sort of brothel business. Like I probably mentioned before, I just prefer meaningfull sex stuff in stories, not sure why I take it more seriously there, but well yes. However how the author manage to write a story or that stuff in it, plays a big role too.
NNNNNNNNNNNOooooooooooooooooooo the moon stopped his escape plans.
I like it so far.
Hehe, sorry about that shattered plan. Those don't survive contact with the enemy, whoever that is...
Two weeks and we're still at sub-ten percent lingual comprehension? We can sympathize. Most fics are horribly unrealistic in the rapid learning of the protagonist. Wondering if Chrysalis is assuming her own babblings are yet so meaningless as well...
Also wondering what she thinks of her unexpected and foreign behaviour, perhaps she's the first princess class she's had and doesn't have anything to compare to?
The notes at the start are quite something. Nice to see the character development
8710162
Pretty sure the 'love harvesting' is just two changelings making baby changelings, as a sort of double entendre.
I'm very curious on the translation on what Chrysalis is saying. I would love to see the story from her perspective.
Logic is not mutch of the MC strength...
Humans would capture hum and do stuff... Even if they don't i doubt anyone let him retake his old life.
"were you able to find what you were looking for"
God I love being able to intuit bits of what this Vhangling language says
11571446
I do believe you're the first one to figure that out and comment on it.