• Published 15th Feb 2017
  • 1,055 Views, 24 Comments

A Shadow of the Dusk - randome284



I did what I had to do to protect her, no matter what pain I caused myself in the process. For I am a shadow of the dusk, I alone don't matter. Only when I take the blame, and the pain with it, can I make a difference that will save Equestria.

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Just A Shadow Of The Dusk

I was once a pony with a normal life.

I knew this earth pony. She was just a teenaged filly, while I was already a mare. She worked on an apple farm in Ponyville with her brother, a talkative stallion, and their grandmare, a mare who wouldn't let age stop her from running the farm.

I also had a sixth sense. I could see- no, feel the future on occasion. I never knew what would happen, but I could sense if something was wrong. I could vaguely feel what a pony would do for Equestria. Remembering these 'visions', if you'd call them that, was like a vague dream. You know something happened, and you know if it was good or bad. But not what it was. You just had to trust your instinct.

I wish with my whole life that I did.

When I looked at the filly, I knew she would save Equestria one day. She would be an important part of history. If she didn't fulfill her destiny, Equestria would perish.

The filly was walking home from the store in the town on that one fateful evening. I was on my nightly stroll through the town, as usual. We had our greetings and farewells before we parted, with her heading back to her apple orchard, as I continued walking through the quiet town.

I felt something was wrong. I recognized it as my sixth sense. Something bad was about to happen. I stopped and listened carefully. I heard three sets of hoofsteps... When I had just walked by the filly, I only heard mine and hers. I looked back and I saw them.

Let me mention that some ponies lived in the town... Shady and mysterious characters, ones you wouldn't want to run into them at night. I didn't trust them, my sixth sense didn't let me. It was warning me about them, but I just ignored it. I wish I had done something about these ponies before, instead of fearing for what would happen to me if I attempted to investigate into them, like the coward I am.

I was too naïve to notice just how bad they were. I thought it'd all be fine, that I was just thinking into nothing. I was so desperate not to be hated again that I took the coward's route, and didn't look past my thoughts and face the truth about these ponies.

I now regret choosing that path.

When I look back to where the filly was walking, I saw two of those shady ponies, unicorns to be exact, behind her. I stared. I stared at the weapons they held in their magical grasp. I saw them sneak closer and closer to the filly, who was walking at a rather calm and slow pace.

I didn't know what to do. I thought for a minute. Equestria would fall if something were to happen to this filly. But even if Equestria wouldn't suffer, the filly would. She was an innocent soul, she didn't deserve what was about to happen.

That's when I finally stopped running from the truth. These were bad ponies.

If anything, I deserved whatever was planned for the filly. I didn't follow my instinct before, and didn't stop these ponies. This filly, her family, and all of Equestria would suffer because of my cowardliness ways. These unicorns were just going for this filly because she was an easy picking. They would take anypony easy to get.

I made my choice, the choice that changed and saved the future.

I lit up my horn, hidden in my mane. I took a deep breath and powered up the teleportation spell that would save the future. I quietly reappeared in my new location, right behind the two stallions and the filly.

I mustered up all of the false cheeriness I could, and loudly greeted the trio.

Surprised, the three turned around and looked at me.

The unicorns quickly teleported their weapons away, hoping I didn't notice. I pretended I didn't and just stood there, with a fake grin on my face.

The filly was the first to greet me, and pretty happily. The unicorns gruffly greeted me, with beads of sweat on their brows. The filly didn't notice anything strange was going on.

I told the filly that it was getting late, and that she should head on home, while I stayed to hang out with these ponies. As I said goodbye to her, I softly whispered that no matter what happened, she had to take care and carry on.

She gave me a confused look, but didn't question my words. She gave me a final farewell before heading off.

The unicorns dejectedly watched as their prize walked away. They knew their opportunity was gone, they knew it very well.

I knew I had to keep them away from her, I had to make sure they couldn't follow her and attempt their feat again. I stayed their with them, making small, innocent conversation. They asked me to come over to hang out with them. I knew they were lieing if their definition of 'hanging out' was the same as mine.

I considered my options once more. If I didn't go with them, then somepony else would end up going with them. I looked at them, and finally faced the truth. The thing I'd been blinded by for so long, just because of my cowardliness.

I realized what horror, terror and pain they had put so many ponies though. All of those missing ponies... And I couldn't even realize what happened to them. Because I was scared. I was scared for myself.

I mentally kicked myself for being so stupid. Again. My mistake that didn't save any ponies, but instead caused them pain. My options were now one-sided. I had to protect everypony from the evil darkness these ponies brought upon them. I made my choice.

I went with them.

There was nothing else I could do. It was too late for anything else.

As I neared their 'home', if you'd call it that, I looked at the night sky for the last time. All of the stars were beautifully weaved into the night sky. I looked up at the Mare In The Moon. It was a childish thing to do, but I silently hoped she wished me luck.

The many years I have spent in this unbearable prison were full of torture. Every day is full of pain. They've broken me physically, until my body was just a broken corpse. Until the life was forced back into me, and the cycle just repeated.

I didn't think it could be any worse than that. I was wrong. Their sticks and stones do break my bones horribly, but their words hurt me too. They never lied with their horrid words though, it was always the truth. At first I didn't believe in their words, but by now, I've accepted that long ago. I finally understand what I really am. Some useless failure of a pony.

I never mattered. Nopony truly cared enough to help me. I'm worthless, and just stuck as this failure for eternity.

I will suffer this pain and terror forever. Every second is a living nightmare. Every dreaming second is a nightmare, no better than reality.

Throughout all of these years, I never had a second of peace or happiness. I couldn't escape. I can't escape. Death isn't possible for me. I can't take it anymore. But I have to.

I will forever suffer from this curse of immortality. Ponies say that alicorns could take anything, and are the strongest, wisest, and most powerful of them all. But through the years, I proved that wrong.

I proved an alicorn could break. I couldn't fly if I tried, there's no magic left inside of me, any strength I had was replaced by weakness. Every day I'm cracked, dented, and broken. Broken to the point where death is my only wish.

But I don't deserve death. I'm not the first one here. But I hope I'll be the last. I didn't do anything to save all the ponies before me, so why should I deserve something easy, that's just good for me? I deserve all of this suffering, for everything I didn't do.

A few years ago, or at least I think it was a few years ago, I heard of the farm filly again. From the unicorn's chatting, I've found that the filly, now a mare, saved Equestria together with a group of ponies using a powerful magic, saving a princess from evil in the process.

I've wondered about that. Wondered before my thoughts were completly consumed in the terror of this place. Which of the princesses was saved? How long had it been? What was happening while I was trapped in my captivity?

I often think about the event that brought me here in the first place. Protecting the filly that saved Equestria. Was it really worth it?

Yes, it was definitely worth it. If I didn't sacrifice myself, the unicorns would've hurt more ponies, and Equestria would've perished. Other ponies lives matter, as does Equestria. I don't.

I do not matter. I am just a single, dim star. If that single star goes missing, it wouldn't matter. If lots of them go missing, it matters. If the whole galaxy would perish... I dare not even think of it. I, a dim star, did what I had to do, I sacrificed a star for every other. I am that star.

I suffered, and I will continuer to suffer. Both mentally and physically, I've been broken. And broken hard.

I wish I didn't suffer this eternal curse. I wish I wasn't an alicorn. I don't know how long I had been here until I gave up most of my remaining hope, just wanting to escape and end it. It could've been weeks or years until I gave into the thoughts.

No matter how many times I reminded myself that I didn't deserve happiness or death, I still yearned for it with all that was left of my broken heart.

I may be broken, but I haven't shattered yet. The ever so small sliver of hope thsts left doesn't let me shatter. I'm barely holding onto this hope... But I must.

For I am just a shadow of the dusk. Gone in just a few moments, having to endure the pain while I'm gone. But now I must hope that the moon will shine from between the clouds and let me shine once again.


Author's Note:

This was a one shot that I wanted to try out, and made in a few hours at night. And apparently you guys liked it.

Also, this is set few years before the series premiere. About the same time as the story from S6 E23, Where The Apple Lies.

I hope you enjoyed it. Even thought you probably didn't. :raritywink: Also, feel free to tell me what you thought the last paragraph meant. It's the most important part... I'm a genius for making it. You'll eventually find out what it means. :ajsmug:

You want the moral of the story? Guess what. There isn't one. Unless you count 'trust your instinct or you'll end up being tortured by unicorns'. :rainbowlaugh:

Comments ( 23 )

I liked it, it's very short and to the point, something like a note you would find in a game, that fills in a little bit of background. It definitely has potential for expansion.

7951038 Uh, thanks? I was just in the mood for something vague, not something that should be taken too seriously. But it fills in a lot of details on what the heck happened to my OC, which I'm currently writing a novel about (coming out Summer 2017! Ya, I'm slow. I want to finish it before posting it.). I probably won't go about expanding it, because that's just what it. A background info filler. But maybe someday I will actually do a detailed one... :trixieshiftright: Also, thanks for the fave!

7951045 Well, that's what I meant by expansion. Maybe not writing a story about this specific character, but going on about the filly, and maybe about how she remembered this character and giving more information on him, or even just keeping it vague to the imagination of the readers. Either way, the story was great.

7951305 Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. The character will meet Applejack (the filly) in the future story. I was even thinking about making another past story showing the relationship between AJ and the character, Dusk Shadow. They sort of had a mother/daughter relationship. So I'll probably write a story, which will be A LOT more detailed. I just wanted to give this style a try, if you know what I mean.

.... Yeah, this story was a little bit vague, but well written. I don't think it would have hurt to add in a little bit of extra details here-and-there to help spruce up the narrative, thus giving the readers more context clues towards what you were trying to explain (like the sixth sense). Otherwise, I enjoyed it. Good Job! :twilightsmile:

7951368 Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll probably add a bit more to it during the weekend, when I'll have time. :twilightsmile:

I considered my options once again. Of I didn't follow, they would take the filly. Or somepony else. I looked at one and saw the truth.

If I didn't follow. It took me a moment to read that correctly. :pinkiesmile:

Well written. A wee bit more detail would have been nice, as Nugget already said. I liked it overall.

7952010 :twilightsmile: Glad you enjoyed it. I'll probably add some more detail in the weekend when I'll have the time. Now, off to fix that mistake...

Something like this is always hard to process. Changes that affect the future life and such.

8003753 Yes, I understand. But it is a kind of a prequel to a long fic I'm working on (don't get your hopes up, it's not coming out anytime soon) so it will be understood better when that comes out. I hope you enjoyed it though, hard to process as it was. :twilightsheepish:

8012393 I did. No mater how long it takes, I'm eager for the prequel. I actually meant it must be hard to process for the main character. A good story and well made too.

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

8047044 It's not too dark, I just felt that it was necessary since the main character sort of is running out if hope, by the end admitting she doesn't matter. But it doesn't get very dark, more of a sad fic.

8079472 Thank you so much for the review, I really appreciate it. I'll get to work on improving it on Saturday, thanks for pointing out all of the problems. Also, I am currently working on something with this OC, a sort of aftermath as to what happened in the story.

That story (coming in a long time) sort of ties in with the last paragraph. "For I am just a shadow of the dusk. Gone in just a few moments, having to endure the pain while I'm gone. But now I must hope that the moon will shine from between the clouds and let me be somepony again."

The OC's name is Dusk Shadow. Here, she's relating herself to an actual dusk shadow; around for a little while before disappearing into the darkness. A spoiler alert for the sequel, but the pony who saves Dusk Shadow is actually Princess Luna. Because Dusk sacrificed herself, Twilight and her friends were able to save Luna.

When she says that she hopes the moon will shine from between the clouds and let her be somepony again, Dusk's implying that the 'moon' is Luna, and that she will 'shine from between the clouds', the clouds being Nightmare Moon. Luna being the pony that saved her, Dusk is hoping that Luna will 'shine', letting her live on. After all, a shadow can't be a shadow without its light.

Also, as for the very vague description of Applejack, I tried to inform the readers of who she was while still keeping the mysterious and vague narration.

I honestly don't know what inspired me to make this. It was a bit before midnight on a Saturday night, and it was bored. The kind of bored when you're just spinning around on your spinning chair. I then remembered I'd wanted to write something in first person for a while, and decided to make Dusk's story. I also was in the mood for something vague. This was the creation of all of that.

Anyways, thanks again for the review. It's just what I was hoping for honestly, a reject with the reasons why. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person wishing for rejects, but I knew that in the eyes of a true reviewer, it'd be a reject. I just didn't know why. But thanks to your review, I now know how to improve this story. Maybe I'll try something in this style again in the future.

8084658 :twilightsheepish: Yep, I try. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

I, also, have reviewed your story.

It was an okay tale, but wasn't really gripping, to me anyway.

That was a neat story! I'm happy someone was looking out for my favorite pony! :ajsmug:

Well... that was a downer... but even in the darkest hour, there is hope.

Wow! This was very well-written :pinkiesmile:. I noticed that there was not a single piece of dialogue in it, and found that very interesting. But you made it work, obviously. It was a retelling of what happened to the alicorn, and how he or she sacrificed his or her life. It was cool. I wonder who the two unicorns with the weapons were. Some kind of alicorn hunters? And why do they torture this innocent alicorn so much?

I hope the protagonist will get out of the tortures. :fluttercry:

I feel sorry for this, Alicorn what an interesting story.

How is this finished? For me I don’t think it’s finished, will there be another story after this?

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