A Change of Heart
In the darkness, time evaded me. Occasionally, images surfaced to flicker before my conscience; rising out of the shadowy murk to burn my eyes; I saw things I hadn’t seen in a very, very, long time.
Was I dying?
Everything felt surreal, faded, out of focus. I couldn’t think in the state I was in, only see. See the Sunnyside Orphanage; its two story bulk framed against a bleeding sky. See the streets of Manehatten, The Drinking Trough, the Academy… even Hoofbeats; the club where I started my career. Then faces came to me, some smiling, some sneering, some angry, some hurt; Cloud Chaser, Alkaline, Dawn, Juicebox, Bail, Wolf, Octavia… Orrick. As Orrick’s image faded away, and a blazing light spread to cover my vision, something strange happened; something unexplainable. A mare began to appear before me, silhouetted by the sun, framed by light, and so very familiar. The light began to fade; the details began to clarify, a smile, a beckoning hoof, wings that rose to block the sun from my eyes…
A jolt made the image darken, and then fade. A beeping noise began to creep into my conscience. The steady rhythm rose to crescendo, and it filled every corner of my mind. The last thing I saw was my mother retreating into the burning sun.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Vinyl?”
The beeping faded into the background.
“Mmmph.” I stirred and attempted to speak, but I didn’t have the energy to vocalize the words hanging from my tongue.
“Vinyl, its Octavia… thank Celestia you’re ok!”
Impossible.
Octavia should be in Manehatten right now, performing for The Golden Dome. How in the name of Luna was she here?
“Octy?” I whispered, opening my eyes; all I could see was a whitewashed ceiling.
“Vinyl, yes, it’s me.”
After a moment, Octavia’s head came into view. Her mane hung down to tickle my nose. As I brought a hoof up to rub it, something held me back. Initially, I thought Octavia was the reason I was pinned, that she was holding me down, or something. Sliding my head to the left however revealed that it was a set of secure leather straps, which bound my hooves.
“Where the hay am I!” I said, feeling some of my strength return to me; I pulled at the bindings, but they held firm. I felt the beginning traces of panic set into my chest. “Octavia, what going…” My friends hoof came down to rest on my muzzle, cutting my off softly.
“You’re in Ponyville’s hospital. They’re holding you here till we can ship you off to Canterlot rehab center. You’ve been detoxed but, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe.” From the way she spoke, apprehensive, she knew that she was pushing the envelope; I felt my face flush red.
“Rehab! Why in the name of Luna would I need that?” I retorted.
“Are you kidding me, Vinyl?” Octavia asked, sounding incredulous.
“Are you a mare?” I replied, seething with rage. “I knew you were only here to mess things up!”
“Me; mess things up?” Octavia replied; her voice had gone tight.
I could tell she was restraining from yelling at me. I, on the other hoof, had nothing holding me back.
“Yes you. You came all the way from Manehatten to tie me to a bed and reject me the only pleasure I had left in life!” I shouted.
“Well, Vinyl, believe it or not, but that ‘pleasure’ of yours has come to destroy the mare I once knew.” Her voice was rising in pitch as she became angrier and angrier at every passing word. “You overdosed; you should be grateful that you’re still alive! Did you know you fell into cardiac arrest? Have you seen the x-rays on your chest, where you lungs have been scratched and in some areas, partially liquefied? How about the brain graph, where it shows that your mental capacity has dropped by thirty percent!” And then, as a bitter afterthought: “Some pleasure you have, Vinyl.”
For moments, I was stunned into silence. Then, slowly, I began to cry.
What have I done?
As quickly as the anger came, Octavia calmed down and brushed my mane compassionately.
“Listen, Vinyl. You’ve lost sight of who you are. A griffon once told me that the real friends, those who you can rely on, and trust, will be the ones to make you cry. Why? Because only real friends can sit you down and tell you the reality that you’re facing. I’m willing to help you out here, but I need your cooperation.”
I nodded slowly.
“What do I have to do?” I asked.
“Go to rehab, get better; start again.” She sighed. “Vinyl, you have to get off of Buck. Now.”
I shook my head sadly.
“I can’t, it’s impossible. Without it, I can hardly use my magic. If I ever wanted to DJ again, I’ll need that magic back; Buck can give it to me.”
“I’m sorry, but…” I cut her off desperately.
“I’ll give you a deal, you like deals… right?”
Octavia remained motionless.
“Let me keep taking it, I won’t OD again, I promise… you can even control how much I take. I just need a little bit though, just enough to keep me going and…” It was Octavia’s turn to cut me off.
“No, I’m afraid I don’t like that idea. Besides, your magic potential can be retaught, relearned. Firstly, however, you must get off the drug.”
“No, I, I won’t, I like it, it’s only helped.” I didn’t care how foalish I sounded; my veins were burning, I needed a hit soon, or I’d go crazy.
I closed my eyes and imagined the needle going into my throat, the wonderful rush, the wonderful feelings… I relaxed for a few seconds. Casting my glance around the room, I noticed my jewelry box.
“Octavia?” I asked, feeling a sickly cool come over me.
She’s a daft pony, I can trick her, I can convince her that I’m fine, and then I could…
“Yes, Vinyl,” She replied.
“Why did you bring my jewelry box?”
“Oh, well, I thought that you might want some of your jewelry. Your front door was unlocked when I arrived, and I didn’t know how to relock it. I’d hate for it to get stolen, or something… why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering,” I replied, smiling wickedly to myself. “You know, you’re right; this addiction is getting out of hoof. The rehab center, will it hurt? What will they do to me?”
“Oh, they won’t do anything; they’re there to present the options,” She explained, smiling. “Why, are you actually considering taking up my offer?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “You know, you were right, I’ve done something terribly wrong, and well, I think it’d be best if I try to, you know, right the wrong.”
Octavia’s smile widened.
“Really, Vinyl?” I could hear the relief in her voice.
“Ya… why not?”
“Oh, thank Celestia!” She hugged me, and I nuzzled her chin.
“Now can you please untie me?” I asked, lacing my words with what I thought to be a very convincing display of humor.
It must have worked, because Octavia laughed and nodded.
“Of course I can, Vinyl.”
I waited in patience as my friend unbuckled my hooves. As the fourth and final binding clicked open, I sprung my plan. As Octavia went to back away, I shot up and grabbed her shoulder, forcing her back down on the hospital bed. She struggled, but because she had been taken off guard, I quickly overpowered her. In a swift motion, I pulled one of her hind hooves out from underneath her, and latched it onto the bed with the closest leather strap. She was effectively trapped.
“Vinyl, what in the name of…?” My cold laugh cut her short.
“Octy, did you really think I’d break under your influence so easily? Buck is mine, and no-one, not even you, is going to take it away from me!”
Shivering excitedly, I stumbled over to my jewelry box and clicked the hidden button.
“Oh, no,” I heard Octavia moan. “I, I never suspected that!”
“And you said that my brain capacity has dropped? I just outsmarted you!”
Whatever else she had to say was blocked out as all my attention was directed at the sparkling vials that now lay neatly in front of me. Licking my lips, I cast my magic over the vial closest to the front, and loaded the syringe. Bringing the elixir of life up to my throat, I turned and shoved the needlepoint into my neck, displaying my activities to a cringing Octavia.
“Why are you disgusted?” I asked, waiting for the euphoria to settle in. “You should try it!” I turned back around and loaded another syringe. “If you don’t, I’ll take a second…” I froze as I felt the first effects of the drug rush over me… drowsiness?
“Oh, I think I’ll pass this time, Vinyl,” Octavia said calmly; my world swam. “And now I’ve seen how deep you are in this. Did you really think I’d be so stupid? You just injected yourself with a tranquilizer.”
As I fell to my side, overwhelmed by wave after wave of lethargy, I saw Octavia unbuckle herself from the bed and canter over to me. Gently, she picked me up and lay me to rest back on my bed.
“I’ll see you soon, dear.”
The last thing I heard before finally succumbing was the clicking of my bindings; again, I was restrained to the mattress.
A day passed by, and then another, and another. My life became a living hell. Only at night, when my body, exhausted from tugging at the binging and screaming to the ceiling succumbed to sleep, did I fall into paradise. I wouldn’t dream of friends, or even my mother… they had all betrayed me; all I could dream of is the one thing that I could rely on, the only thing that made me happy. Buck. My dreams were always about it; always there to remind me of the paradise I lost when that bitch, who apparently was my friend, left me to go crazy in here. From that first day I had woken up in the hospital room to now, I had stooped deeper and deeper into a depression; so much so, that I stopped eating and drinking. My behavior led Nurse Redheart, yet another mare that was now against me, to feed me intravenously; didn’t she get the hint that I didn’t want to be around anymore?
At first, Octavia would visit each day. She’d try to be friendly, talk about our academy years, about that first time we met in the drinking trough; as if I’d allow her the pleasure of hearing me talk nicely back. If I merely saw her, I’d shout profanities, or just shut her out. Each day her visits became shorter and shorter, until one day, she just didn’t return.
So now I’m lying in the hospital room that has become my purgatory, my waking hell, staring at the same old ceiling, feeling the same old sheets tucked closely to my chest. I hear a click at the door, the only noise present; I’d gotten so used to the beeping beside me. With a sigh, I craned my neck towards the door, waiting for yet another nurse to scurry in, or maybe Octavia, who I had already decided I wouldn’t talk too. To my surprise, a griffon squeezed in through the small doorframe; a very familiar one at that.
“Orrick?” I asked, my own voice sounding scratchy and alien to me.
The griffon turned. When his eyes fell on my frail, bedridden form, they softened from compassion and relief.
“Yes… miss me?” he said; If only he knew how badly I did. “Well, I miss you too.”
An awkward silence filled the room, one where I took the time to look over the griffon that was once my object of affection. I took note of his feathers, nicely preened and proper, his black, predatory eyes, his hooked beak which at the moment, quivered in anticipation. I realized with a start that he was nervous; I had to break the ice.
“By Celestia, Orrick; how did you get here?”
“Magic,” He replied, using my usual retort when I didn’t want to explain something. “That’s not important. What’s important is that I’m here, and talking to you now.”
I clenched my jaw.
“Did Octavia send you?”
He shook his head.
“No, I sent myself,” he replied simply.
Orrick took a deep breath before sitting on a nearby rollie-chair. He then slid forwards, closing the distance till he was right beside me. Being so close again to him gave me strength. I felt warmth stream into my chest, filling the emptiness that had pervaded there for too long. I went to bring a hoof up to stroke his cheek, however, the binding at my left hoof kept me immobilized. Seeing this, Orrick spoke up:
“Vinyl, if I unbind you, will you fight me?”
I shook my head.
“Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t get very far. Please, I’ve been stuck here for weeks.”
“Actually, Vinyl, you’ve only been here for two,” the griffon informed me.
Bringing his sharp beak down, he unsnapped the bindings. As each hoof came free, I flexed them experimentally, reveling in the feeling of freedom. After I was free, he picked me up gently with his talons, and set me down on his lap; from there, he began to reassuringly preen me. Memories flooded back, bringing with them tears of relief; I’d forgotten how good it felt. Only once I was truly relaxed, did the large griffon speak up:
“Vinyl, I’m here to talk to you about Buck. I feel guilty, I feel as though it was my fault that you got hooked; I’m so sorry, I won’t ever leave you again.”
With half closed lids, I looked up at Orrick’s handsome face.
“Your fault? No, no it was mine. Please don’t be hard on yourself,” I assured, closing my eyes and pushing deep into the downy feathers of his chest.
“Well, my fault or your fault… it’s time for you to stop,” he said; his preening remained steady.
I felt a wave of sadness come over me.
“I don’t think I can; I’ll die without it!”
“Will you though?” Orrick interjected. “It’s been a little over two weeks since you’ve taken a hit, and the only reason you’re lethargic is because you haven’t gotten out of bed recently.”
He did have a point, and there was no way I was up to defend my case. For the first time, Buck became mortal; by mortal I mean something that I could now control. An inner conflict had sprung up in my chest, one that slowly eased itself to a resolution as each preening stroke from Orrick reminded me more and more of my life before it all; a life unbound by addiction, by impulse.
“Orrick, I, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m strong enough,” I whispered.
Tears began to burn at the corners of my eyes; some breaking free to roll down my chin, falling then to rest on Orrick’s chest; I felt absolutely helpless.
“Will you… help me?”
“Yes, till the very end,” he replied simply.
Time went on in silence. I was stunned over what I had just said, and Orrick, well… I didn’t know what he was thinking; all he did was stroke my mane with his beak, gently easing all the hate that I had built up against the world.
Maybe, just maybe; I can change.
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Why doesn't she tell anyone that she was assaulted and had Buck injected into her forcefully by a pony at her bar?
I know, right? Still, I feel so very relieved now that she's getting off it, but also, what happened with Octavia's performance? Did it already pass, or is it still coming up?
Vinyl will recover in time, the problems she'll have to face next will be with wolf and her debt to him.
I'll just think of amusing ways he can fall off a cliff until the next update.
orrik to the rescue
i just hope they get wolf and take him down
1168764
I agree!(We mean the evil rapist wolf not the kind wolfmaster
)
berghindjoseph.com/uploads/assets/blog/the-brands-we-love/guinness-good-things.jpg
This can apply to this story
Kudos on another good chapter.
Okay, time for a checklist
#1 Get out of hospital
#2 Fight off Buck addiction
#3 Find Wolf
#4 UNLEASH THE BASS CANNON!
I cried so much. This broken distorted mare is not the one we all know and love.
Syn3rgy you managed to do it again. Thank you!
Yay
Orrick
Good chapter! Now, Vinyl and Octavia have to make up now. I'm pretty sure it will be easy though. Tavi is an understanding mare, and she doesn't seem like the person to hold grudges unless they have done something severely bad to her. Now, they just have to deal with Wolf and what will happen when he comes to see Vinyl for the money that she owes him.
This story is amazing, it's been sitting around on my read later list for a while now. I'm not sure why I didn't read this earlier, it has quickly become one of my all time favourites. Thanks for writing this amazing story, I eagerly await more.
1168690
I'll just think of amusing ways for the cops to find him.
Agh, I'm really relieved that she's going out of Buck. I hope Vinyl can restore Octavia's trust and friendship. Vinyl is my second favorite pony, would hate to see her doomed, as she was in the start of this chapter and the last two ones too.
And i hope, ooooh boy i really hope, that Wolf gets ripped in two, or worse...
GREAT Chapter! really emotional, and the describing is just amazing! i got nothing bad to say about this! Keep up this amazing work! i'm loving this!
Not much to say on this one other than brohoof. Another excellent piece, the level of depth and empathy are amazing.
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-the-epicest-of-brohooves.gif
Aww yeah! Orrick to the rescue
Yea, orrick for the win!!
1175653 Wondertwin powers... ACTIVATE!!
How heart warming. Something tells me Wolf is getting a "buckshot" to the head sometime in the future.
This reminds me of Trainspotting
DRUGZ R BAAAAAAD
Tavi being smart, like a boss!
The Return of Orrick, enjoying the slowdown of the pacing. The desperate things Vinyl tried to do to get his next fix were scary, but I guess that's addiction for you.
Hey. Someone. There's this guy named Wolf. Here's the business card of a Pyro I know. Tell him to give this Wolf lots of rainbows.
Thank you Orrick for bringing some sense back into Vinyl. Love, it has the power to change lives. Hopefully she can buck this Buck addiction. This story is actually reminding me of another story that had Vinyl addicted to drugs, only the Octavia in the two stories are vastly different. Can't wait to see how this all plays out.
~SolidFire