• Published 18th Feb 2017
  • 1,706 Views, 76 Comments

The Second Pony to Become an Alicorn - Razor Blade the Unicron



Rainbow Dash has become an alicorn Princess, but there's still so much that she needs to do. A cutie-mark-removing unicorn, out of control vines that even Discord can't stop, and a power-hungry centaur are just the start.

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Within Everfree

Considering the current circumstances, Shadow was likely the happiest being in Equestria at the moment. Some of that cruel joy was being fueled by Discord's magic in them, while the rest was true. Well, as true as it could be for a being of literal evil.

"Isn't this day just perfect, Luna?" they asked to one of two piles of vines next to them. "And this night is also wonderful."

The four kinds of magic that Shadow held in them were that of their own, the power of the Alicorn Amulet, a splash of Discord's magic from the plunder vines, and the amount they retained from King Sombra. They added up to a being in the shape of an alicorn with a ink-black coat, midnight black mane with streaks of red, eyes that were in a bizzare cosmic blue as well as orange, and accessories of purple.

"Oh, you don't need to worry." continued Shadow. "I know that I won't be able to hold you two captive forever. And I know that Rainbow Dash is smart enough to figure out that this is my doing. Don't you worry, because she'll bring the Elements back to that tacky tree and your little infestation will be solved. But I'll be long gone before any of that."

Glows of blue and yellow showed from each pile of vines, but Shadow's horn lit up a threatening deep red, and stopped the glows.

"Don't think I'm letting you escape. In fact, I'm keeping a closer eye on you than Rainbow." They grinned wickedly. "You can tell how serious I am, considering that she's my nemesis and all that. But you still don't need to worry. Not right now, that is." Their eyes glowed red with cruel glee. "Just wait a little bit, and then you'll really want to worry. You'll just love what I'm going to do."

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Comments ( 26 )

Happy to see that this is still being updated :twilightsmile:

I got nothing to say for this chapter, but why is this story being On Hiatus for? Is it... that your taking a break from continuing this story or ran out of ideas for new chapters?

Picture link at the end is broken.

8959129
oh. I had Writer's Block myself, but I don't have it anymore.

8959171
Oh... Oh god... Oh that's ugly...

:pinkiesick:


(I hesitated to say anything, in case you like it, but, if you do, I have some resources to which I can direct you...)

8959373
Shadow is supposed to look like an idiot. They're hyped up on a mixture of several different kinds of magic that should never mix, specifically Discord's and Sombra's. Since this chapter was majorly shortened down to what I originally wanted, in the concepts when encountering Shadow, Starlight was going to comment on how they looked like a idiot, with Rainbow pointing out how it doesn't matter because Shadow is a major threat.

8959473
You know, at one point in my life, I would have assumed that it was intentional. I have since been deep into fanfiction, where no idea is too stupid. I'm glad we are on the sane side, or at least the same side, of that line.

8959373
It's not actually all that bad. A bit vibrant, but this from the franchise that made Sombra. Case closed.

I hope you write the next ch soon, this is a great story

You know a story's amazing when you look at the stories that are similar to it, and

TA Dream of Dawn
What if Luna won against Twilight? What happens when Discord comes back?
Starsong · 137k words  ·  1,696  29 · 23k views

pops up.

Hey! I've got an idea, which more than likely, or you know, it could also be ABSOLUTELY inspired by, my love of Scootadopt fanfictions. So...what if Scootaloo was an orphan in this universe, and she had read about how a pony who looked just like her current idol had gone to space? You know, if Rainbow Dash is still Scootaloo's hero in this universe. This could make Scootaloo practice that much harder on her flight skills! Which would then lead to Professor/Princess Rainbow Dash (I'm not sure if she actually was strictly a scientist in the first story of this series, but it would make sense if she became a professor at some point,..perhaps a professor of flight magic? Anyways, back to my original point. SO...Scootaloo's attempts at flying all failing would then lead to Professor/Princess Rainbow Dash noticing, and then leading to her becoming Scootaloo's actual big sister in this universe, through the time that they would spend together while Rainbow Dash is trying to teach Scootaloo how to fly. Unless, of course, in this universe, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle are like how Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were in the prime universe. Although, that could lead to some interesting possibilities to, especially if Rainbow Dash is still Scootaloo's idol, but instead of like current Rainbow Dash, she could admire the Rainbow Dash that went into space for how 'awesome' she is, while never knowing that the current Rainbow Dash and that Rainbow Dash are one and the same, which could lend itself to comedic situations...or not. This was all just theoretical stuff that I came up with just now.

9288925
That would all sound great, but I refuse to believe that Scootaloo is an orphan. :scootangel:

9289701
Aw...but that's like the site's entire collection of good stories right there! I mean, sure, once in a while you get stories like:

TA Dream of Dawn
What if Luna won against Twilight? What happens when Discord comes back?
Starsong · 137k words  ·  1,696  29 · 23k views

, or,

TSupersymmetry
The Elements of Harmony reunited Celestia with Luna, and Nightmare Moon with her own sister. But they also left a connection between their worlds...
Europa · 57k words  ·  370  17 · 4.3k views

, or,

TPast Sins
Can Nightmare Moon, reborn without her hate, ever escape her past?
Pen Stroke · 202k words  ·  11,932  377 · 173k views

, or,

THard Reset
Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly.
Eakin · 36k words  ·  7,640  125 · 92k views

,
but stories of the quality that I've displayed here are exceptionally rare! EXCEPT for the noticeable exception of ScootAdopt fanfictions! That is a story type that seems predisposed to bring out the best in fanfiction writers!

9289701
I'm pretty sure it's canon.

That she's an orphan, that is.

9543618
And, I know I haven't started reading this story yet, but is there a plan for it to come off of hiatus at some point?

9543620
Eh, probably not. I have the rest of the story planned out (I'd post that before officially cancelling), but little interest in continuing to write it.

Oh, and I also hate Starlight now, so writing her is a pain.

9543648
Yeah, sorry to disappoint. But if you'd like to read something I am much more proud of and actively working on, feel free to check out my Lateverse stories!

How would this story have ended?

9797439
Well, skipping to the Tree of Harmony, the box would have more locks (still keys of friendship to unlock). The others needed to open the box would be Spike, Discord, Starlight. (Spike as Wisdom, Discord as Redemption, and Starlight as Forgiveness). Everybody would get the Rainbow Items (sans Rainbow, Starlight, and Discord), and things wold continue on as show-normal. Alicorn magic given to Rainbow, she confesses to Starlight instead of trying to hide it, Discord betrays them to help Tirek/Shadow, Tirek drains the magic from Rainbow's friends (sans Starlight, who has been in the library researching, Rainbow gives the alicorn magic to Starlight, but keeps her own to fool Tirek (gains her key in the progress of giving her alicorn magic to Tirek), Discord's key is discovered, they all rush to the Everfree Forest while Starlight fights Tirek, they realize there is one key missing (being Starlight), Rainbow has her give the magic to Tirek, Starlight's key is discovered, Rainbow Power starts up, Rainbow and Loyalty have a final discussion with Shadow (who has been helping Tirek) saying that they cannot be forgiven or redeemed for what they have done but are willing to allow their soul to restart (memories, magic, etc erased). Cut to the future, Rainbow and her wife Starlight are having a nice life, and Rainbow's son (Shadow's reincarnated soul) asks to her about their adventures, with Rainbow starting by telling him how she was the Second Pony in Space.

Why what's story cancel and Will you remake this story be i would like to see more of this story

10333657
(Message originally posted August 19, 2019)

Well, this has been a message that's been on the horizon for nearly two years, but I'm finally ready to admit it.

I am officially cancelling this story.

There are many reasons behind this decision. The primary one being that I don't like this story. It's a mess of random stuff happening with a hinted possibility that is never revealed, I don't like how I've written the characters, I don't even like all of the characters... I could go on for ages and ages.

I haven't stopped writing, I've just stopped writing MLP stuff. I still work on the Lateverse on my DeviantArt, mainly next gen stuff that I make using bases. But those bring me more joy, like I'm actually doing something I can be proud of. I've become a better artist, and I've gotten to see some ideas I've had come to life in front of my eyes.

I need to apologize. Many of you quite liked this series. I liked it too, at some point. The entire starting point, The Second Pony in Space, was written entirely because I wanted a story with the Sci-Fi tag on it. I didn't write with full ideas planned ahead. Barely even an idea if what would happen next. It was something I wrote almost on a whim that somehow managed to catch other peoples' attention.

Thank you to everyone who has read this series. Seeing something that I made be loved by other people is a feeling that can't be replicated. Every little comment, from those who tried to solve the mystery, those who picked up on the clues and cried out in excitement when their ideas were correct, and even those who plucked out the silly thoughts I had (shoutout to TheMWord who told me how physics worked) and told me of the plotholes I left behind with an eyeroll.

This isn't just an end to this series, it's likely the end of my time here on FIMFiction. I've only been on here for three years, and you guys have been here telling me that you love what I've done. The support I got on here really helped me out. Three years on here... Gosh, I don't know how I would have survived high school without this as an outlet.

Before I finish off, I just need to say thank you to few people, even if they never read it here.

- Fireheart 1945, you were the first person to ever leave a comment on my stories.
- Grey Goat Gal, you were the first person to figure out what happened in my story.
- HashMark111, you were excited for my Lateverse, the stories I were really proud of.
- Frankie2, you were blunt in your critiques, but never unnecessarily nasty. You said what you liked and what you didn't, and you helped me to become a better writer.
- Shrinky Frod, Impossible Numbers, Robipony, and Shadowsnake89, you entered in the contest a made. I didn't think anyone would ever care to do something like that.

and finally, everyone who has ever clicked on any of my stories, even if you didn't like it. Seeing the views slowly tick up to well over a thousand was something that almost made me cry with joy.

I might make a chapter of a summary of what the rest of the story was meant to be. (I still remember, after all this time). But this is the end. Thank you, all of you, for being here for me. I'm a better artist and writer thanks to all of you.

- Razor Blade the Unicron

Sometimes the end of one advantage is the beginning of another

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