My Best Mare's Wedding

by Cupcake Chaos

Mommy Fearest

Two weeks later Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow dash, and Fluttershy had assembled in the library. A top secret meeting had been called and they had all been summoned to attend at 10am sharp. Twilight sparkle had set up a large chart and several chairs in the middle of her library and the room was cluttered with a variety of magazines and business cards, a world apart from its usual assortment of science and history books. She dragged different magazines from the piles and stared expectantly into each one, as though some small yet magical detail she had forgotten was eluding her. Finally she sighed and turned to the others, as a painful expression of grave seriousness plagued her.

“Ladies. I believe we do not have a choice in this matter. I can see no other way to attain our goal.”

Applejack’s ears folded against her head as she raised a hoof in uneasy protest “ A ya really sure bout that Twi? I don't really want to get involved in this kinda thang …”

“I'm very sorry AJ but we don't seem to have any other choice. I tried very much to find a different route but much like our slumber party the magazines and books all agree on this subject of fun and entertainment. Our only recourse in this situation is… strippers.” Applejack and Fluttershy both gulped and slid down in their seats.

“Now now ladies” Twilight smiled, flipping through a few magazines “These say hiring a stripper can be a very easy and fun experience. This one also says we should drink these things called ‘jello shots’ and play party games with…oh….oh my… that truly doesn’t sound sanitary.”

“Umm Twi… we could have a nice knitting circle like we did for my bachelorette party” Fluttershy squeaked. “That is if you’re ok with it of course.”

“Aww quit bein such a girl about this Shy.” Rainbow laughed, picking some of the magazines off the floor and looking at them sideways. “You know barely anyone stayed awake during that thing. If Pinkie hadn’t spiked the punch and you hadn’t found that giant toucan it would have been the most boring night ever.”

Fluttershy blushed and dragged a hoof around the floor in circles “You promised never to mention that again Dash. I almost got arrested.”

Twilight looked at all her charts measuring events in contrast to their likelihood of being fun and wrote a few notes on them. “Well if so many of you are against it do you have any other suggestions? And before you ask, no Rainbow dash, we aren't doing ‘lady fight club’. Some of us enjoy having all our teeth.”

Dash silently lowered her hoof while Rarity pumped hers in the air. “My dears, just because we have exotic entertainment doesn’t mean the night has to be raunchy. I promise if I'm in charge it will be the classiest and most controlled night of good old fashioned fun any of us has ever experienced. It would be uncouth to force any of my friends to do something they don't like, but we must remember this is for Pinkie. We all know how much she enjoys wild parties and crazy shenanigans.”

“Rarity, ah still aint sure…” Applejack muttered.

“I swear, no I Pinkie Pie swear, It will be both elegant and sensual.” She said crossing a hoof across her chest and poking herself in the eye.

“It’s the sensual part I'm pretty dern afraid of.” Applejack sighed. But all the other ponys nodded in agreement. Twilight put away her first chart and propped up two new ones. Soon almost everyone was chatting excitedly and the subject changed to refreshments and body glitters.

* * *

Gilda and Pinkie walked together through the streets of ponyville. Gilda’s wing was gently wrapped around her fiance’s torso as she carried the basket holding a hoofmade white chocolate cake topper in her beak. Bon bon had specially molded it for them as a gift. It was a striking tableu of the two lovers intertwined in a kiss in front of a huge heart shaped crown with wings and talons. The griffon family crest.

They were only the 2nd same sex couple to be wed in Ponyville, and the first interspecies couple to be wed in Equestrian history, so everyone was excited to see the two make their vows. Berry punch had already given them a very fine vintage wine to enjoy on their honeymoon and a great many other gifts had been promised to them by others since they announced the ceremony date. Ponys and griffons were coming from all over Equestria to see the two wed. On the day of the ceremony Pinkie Pie’s parents were arriving from the rock farm to wish their best for the couple, giving them ample time to prepare for their visit. Griffons however, weren’t very accustomed to planning their meetings in advance.

Gilda awkwardly darted her eyes around the sky as she walked jumping a bit anytime a bit of brown or white crossed her vision. Pinkie noticed her flinching and snuggled tight to her side, steadying her heart. “Don't worry so much Gildie. I know you want to make a good impression but you don't have to flip your feathers.”

Gilda sighed, setting the cake topper onto the curb nearby. “I know you think that’s all it is Pinks, but my mother has a habit of showing up at the worst possible moment. She said she would be here sometime this week, and to her that’s as much warning as she needs to give before just popping up out of nowhere.” She glanced nervously at the sky as though expecting a meteor to strike at any moment.

“I have Pinkie sense sweetie. You don't haveto worry about any surprises with me around. Now just breathe deeply and stay calm.”

Gilda looked deep into her lover’s eyes and saw nothing more than honest reassurance. She sat on the ground in front of her and exhaled completely, closing her eyes as she did. “That’s right Gildie, you’re doing just fine” the soft disembodied voice of Pinkie whispered. She inhaled, pulling breath deep into her lungs and focusing only on steadying her nervous limbs. She felt her muscles loosen, each one individually relaxing as she let out her breath.

“P…pardon me”. A soft tap on the shoulder ripped her from her calm and sent her leaping into the air. She landed hard on her back only able to tweet weakly in response.

“Oh, I'm so very sorry. Oh Fluttershy, your such a brute.” The waif yellow pony sniffled berating herself.

Gilda groaned and picked herself up, bringing the mare into focus. “I'm sorry Shy. I'm just a bit on edge today.” As she regained her bearings she could make out the rest of her friends approaching cautiously. Rainbow dash was the first to reach the two, a wide smile plastered to her face.

“In all my days I never thought I would see Shy terrify Gilda. This whole mom thing must really have your tail feathers in a bunch.”

“Please be sensitive Rainbow dash” Rarity said, her eyes locking into Gildas. “I know just how awful it can be to have embarrassing parents. Believe me my dear Gilda, you are not alone. Why if you like, we can take a quick trip to the spa for a relaxing facial scrub. It always makes me feel better after my mother leaves the house in zebra print stretch pants. I do believe it can work in this situation as well.”

Twilight sparkle tossed her foreleg around Gilda’s shoulder and pulled her close. “In our therapy session last week we crossed the topic of her mother and uncovered some deep inadequacy issues in her past. Perhaps a bit of light reading will help you feel better. I have a 12 volume compendium on the subject of mother daughter bonding that I believe will…”

“No thank you Twi, Rarity. Those are nice offers but I don't think they’re gonna help much. My mom isn’t necessarily a bad griffon or anything she’s just…” She flinched slightly “She likes things her way. I don't wanna shove mud on my face and forget her or read about why she’s crazy. I just want to get through the day without her scaring my Pinkie Pie away or driving anyone nuts. And with her personality those aren't gonna be easy feats.”

Pinkie Pie giggled “Oh Gilda your parents can’t be that bad. I would never get scared off for any reason.”

Gilda sighed and looked away in shame. "They really kind of are Pinks. My father isn’t the kind of guy who talks to me a lot. Or for that matter, is even around very much. And my mom is....well she's just so...."

At that moment Pinkie Pie’s entire body lifted off the ground. She vibrated wildly in the air as her muscles twitched and her hooves tingled. “Mom incoming!!!”

"Oh my Gildy wildy Sweetie poo" A deep gruff voice called from behind the group.

"Oh dear lord..."

A large griffon opened her wings wide and wrapped Gilda in them pulling her in a tight hug as she fawned and doted over her... Gildy wildy...

The Griffon was a bit bigger and much rounder than her daughter. She had small gold spectacles on a chain around her neck and her feathers were teased in such an intricate system of curls and fluff it made Rarity gasp, summon a chaise lounge, and faint in horror. Large gaudy diamond jewelry that shone almost painfully adorned her legs and neck, which opposed the intricate Gryph tattoos carefully painted over her back and hips.

"Mumsy, what on earth are you doing here so early?"

"MUMSY!?!?" Twilight and her friends all gasped at once, barely hiding their amusement.

"Oh Gildy, when your father heard you were getting married to a pony… oh we just couldn't believe! I had to come here early and see for myself. You always were a peculiar gal." Her mother looked around and scooped up Carmel who was trotting past at the moment. "Oh and you must be the lucky boy! Oh my dear you look so... sickly. You really should eat more proteins darling, ya got no muscle..."

"Mother that’s not who I’m marrying!"

"Oh?" Mrs. Griffon dropped the terrified colt, placed her glasses on her beak, and looked around in confusion. "But the only ones left here are all girls and... oh..... oh Gildy... really? Well I always knew but your father insisted you'd meet the right boy one day and 'Grow out of it'. Grow out of it he says? Like being a lesbian is a phase like when you used to wear that horrid newsboy cap everywhere...."

The brown pony ran for his life, swearing never to go near griffons again as Pinkie stepped forward from the group and reached out a hoof. She smiled timidly up at the ranting griffon "Ummm excuse me miss Gilda’s mom, ma'am. I’m Pinkie Pie. I’m the one marrying your daughter."

The griffon gasped, letting the glasses fall from her nose. "Oh my dear stars!" She scooped up Pinkie and gave her a tight squeeze which was met with a squeak and a giggle "She's just like a little doll. Oh and this hair! She's just so precious! You really know how to pick them Gilda dear, she is just adorable. Oh and she's not too skinny either like that scrawny little boy I just hugged, she's got some nice meat on these flanks..."

"MOTHER PLEASE!"

“Oh calm down Gildy dear, we’re vegetarians now, you know that. ”

“That’s not what I mean Mumsy, your being rude in front of my friends.”

“Rude how? I am not being rude, you’re the one who didn’t introduce me to your little lady friends. Besides being with the chubby one is better for when ya finally want some babies. I don't know what little horsey griffon babies will look like but I bet they’re just darling.”

Pinkie smiled brightly up at her “Oh me and Gilda will start trying for a baby right after the wedding. I wanna have a boy! No a girl! No Quadruplets!”

“I just…. you two….babies…don't work that way!” Gilda screamed. Pinkie just giggled in response as Rainbow dash stuck out a hoof to shake the claw of Mrs.Griffon.

“Hiya lady. I'm Rainbow dash. Nice to see you again.”

“Oh hello again dear. I met you when I picked Gildy up at camp that time didn’t I?”

“Yeah. You did. I'm the one who was super fast, super awesome, and super amazing.”

“You must also the one who got in super trouble for hiding laxatives in all those cookies aren't ya?

“I…I uhh… Yeah I guess my pranking reputation precedes me.” She muttered, rubbing the back of her head.

“I'm sure it does. Gilda, remember this little minx isn’t allowed near the snack table. One joke gone wrong and suddenly everyone is spending the party fighting over the can.” The griffon laughed and shook the hooves of each pony in turn introducing herself to them and enjoying the novelty of meeting so many brightly colored girls. When she got to Rarity she turned and whispered something in her daughter’s ear that made her blush and gasp. Whatever it was she glanced uncomfortably at Rarity afterwards and avoided eye contact with her.

As Mama Griffon finished her introductions she noticed a small package on the curb near the group. “Gildy dear, whatcha got in the fancy little box?”

She opened the box and proudly displayed the item to her mother. The cake topper was still partially frozen and a fine mist radiated from it when exposed to the air. Everyone in the group gasped at the beauty and elegance of the intricately carved chocolate ornament. Everyone except Mama Griffon. The Griffon lowered her glasses a bit as she gazed at the item and then cleared her throat.

“Darling?”

“What do you think mumsy?”

The older griffons expression grew dark and cold. “Who’s idea was it to deface our family crest this way?”

“Ex…excuse me?”

“Who’s.
Idea.
Was.
It?
Now don't get me wrong here, I see someone got the idea it would be “romantic” to have you two making out like wild teenagers on top of a cake. But NOT in front of our family crest. What would your father say?”

Gilda slid the cake topper back inside the box and handed it to Rainbow Dash. Her feathers were beginning to puff out in rage but her face showed nothing but pure hurt. “I don't know MOTHER, it’s not like he ever actually talks to me so how would I know.”

“Don't be like that dear. Whining doesn’t look good on you.”

“I'm not whining. Me and Pinkie Pie are having a wedding and right after you get here you start criticizing us, can’t you even give us a chance to…”

The larger griffon held up a claw silencing her. “No. I really can’t give you a chance Gilda. You are our only daughter. I thought when ya got married you would have a traditional Griffon wedding but the very first decoration I see is a mockery to our entire family. Now we suspected you were a lesbian honey, we don’t have a problem with it and we love you anyway. And when you decided to fraternize with these little ponies no one paid you any mind. But this is your wedding day. Your one and ONLY wedding day. And you need to decide just what traditions you want to follow. You were born a griffon Gilda. Do you really want to get married like pony?”

Rarity pushed past Gilda and got right into the face of the older griffon locking eyes with her. “Now see here madam. I have worked very hard on your daughter’s ceremony and I incorporated plenty of traditional griffon elements into it.”

“Oh?” She said peering down her glasses at the white mare. “Are you serving a traditional macchiato with your cake?”

“Well… no we were going to use a nice dessert wine to…”
“And are you tying a gold ribbon to Pinkies Tail? Are you throwing marigold seeds after the ceremony? Are you plucking one of Gilda’s flight feathers and putting it on the cake topper for good luck? Are the groomsmen wearing napkins in their pockets or flowers in their lapels? ”

Rarity backed away slightly “I really hadn’t…well I had no idea there were so many…”

“That’s what I thought.” The griffon spat in finality.

Pinkie pie pulled Rarity close and smiled up at the griffon. “Don't worry Miss Gilda’s mom. We’ll do everything we can to put your traditions into the wedding. We still have about two weeks to the ceremony, and I know we can get everything you want ready in time. We’re already doing some rock farm traditions to make my family happy, the more traditions the merrier!”

A little bit of the humor Mama Griffon held before softened her face a bit. “Really doll? You would do that for us?”

“Of course. You’ll be part of my family soon. I would do anything to make you happy.” She bowed slightly in front of the griffon and was scooped up into a deep hug.

“Thank you so much for understanding darling. I know you’ll enjoy griffon tradition. Everybody does.”

“Whatever you say Mama G. So where do we start?” The pony asked hopping out of her grasp to bounce up and down in front of her.

“Fantastic! I knew you would come around soon, Gilda always had good taste. Now first you toss out that gross little cake toppa and I’ll call someone to bring in something much more fitting. Then we can find some nice pinstriped suits for the groomsmen, find a five piece band and then we can get started on your hair…”

“Wait my hair?” Pinkie muttered frowning.

“Yes darling your hair is atrocious. We’ll dye it black for the ceremony and…”

“Bl…bl bl…. Bla bla bla…”

“Yes doll black. It’s a very important tradition. The bride dyes her hair black and keeps it bone straight until after the ceremony.” The griffon pulled her daughter into a hug and took wing hovering over the group for a moment. “Gilda dear, I’ll be at a hotel just up the street. You and your fiancé come see me once she looks like a respectable young lady.”

The entire group stood there in the street for a moment before turning to stare at Gilda. The griffons beak quivered as she took the cake topper from Rainbow Dash and held it close to her heart. Pinkie slowly approached her trying to stay calm.
“Black? Black!?! Gilda I don't want to dye my hair black. I'm Pinkie Pie. Pink is right in my name. I don't wanna change my hair for that crazed up lady.”

“I know but” she started squeezing the box in her claws tighter.

“Gilda, you can’t possibly agree to all this.” Rarity shouted as she stood ground next to Pinkie. “We were done planning. We bought everything already you can’t just let her change your wedding AND your wife like this. It’s rude, it’s wrong, it’s crazy!”

“It’s my mother.” Gilda sighed dropping the cake topper in front of them. “And I just can’t say no to her.” Her wings spread out wide, encompassing the group and she took to the air, soaring in the same direction her mother did.

Comments

[Cupcake Chaos]

Finally done after a lot of annoyance and procrastination. Chapter 7 most likely going up tomorrow when I get home since that one just needs to be proofread. And yes the title is the same as a power puff girls episode. Lauren Faust bonus!

[Cupcake Chaos]

If anyone is having trouble with mama G think of Ray's mother from "Everybody loves Raymond" If she had voice and looks of Dr. Girlfriend (Mrs.The monarch).

[Clouded Mind]

I actually imagined her voice to sound like mrs. bighead...not sure why.

[Cupcake Chaos]

152942
Ooh I like Mrs. Bighead

[Meta Knight]

great

[Cupcake Chaos]

161492
The way I though about it while I was writing was, although they may have apologized, they have been making fun of Rainbow Dash since she was a filly, unlike Gilda who used to be her best friend. Gilda's actions were because of jealousy, hurt pride, and embarrassment. Those three are just fickle acquaintances who only praise Dash if she's winning something and seem content to make fun of her otherwise. At least that's the way I see it.

[MsIkarishipper]

I really want to read more about these two! Awesome writing!

[Tricky-Step]

Damn, this had to be one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time. The first chapter was a bit weird for me, but everything after flowed much better. The jokes were great and Spike was especially a good element for the story. Keep going author!

[booklover41]

Am I the only one curious about what Happened with the Gian toucan?