My Best Mare's Wedding

by Cupcake Chaos

Bucking Nuts

Rainbow dash awoke to Gilda and Pinkie both looking down at her, their faces wrought with concern and guilt. She pulled herself up and realized she was sitting on what must been several huge bales of hay and when she looked around, gathered that she was in the back of a large pink pickup truck. She tried to leverage herself on a now pulverized cardboard cutout of Twilight Sparkle that held the bales up straight. Applejack hopped out of the drivers seat and helped Dash climb down from the bed.

"Dangit pinkie pie, I told you not to tell her while she was up ta anythin dangerous but you get so dern excited ya don’t listen."

"But I didn’t! Gilda did! Besides, she's a Pegasus. Flying isn’t dangerous for her. That’s like saying swimming is dangerous for gummy or being on fire is dangerous for Philomena. Besides I didn’t expect her to go all" Pinkie gasped and jumped in the air stretching her limbs rigid and she crashed back to earth as flat as a board. "I expected her to be all “Yay, woo hoo, awwww yeaahhhh"

Apple jack rolled her eyes and finished dusting the hay off dash. "So how do you feel about all this sugarcube?"

Confused? Depressed? Jealous? So horribly betrayed the only appropriate response would be to curl up in the fetal position and weep?

Dash tossed all these thoughts around for a moment. She opened her mouth but before she could even respond she saw something behind AJ that made her recoil. As if her day couldn’t possibly get any worse, on a cloud nearby were her old “friends” from the flyers competition. Dumbbell, Kevin, and the other jerk jock pegasi started catcalling and throwing trash down at Gilda and Pinkie.

"Hey dim bulbs” Kevin shouted “Heard about your filly foolin! Couldn’t find any hot colts so you had to start makin out with each other?"

“How dare you talk to mah friends that way! I outta buck you into next spring!” Applejack shouted, barely dodging a poorly tossed soda can.

Rainbow glowered at them, "Yeah, and with fat brainless colts like you four around, who the hell needs stallions anyway?"

"Your right Rainbow crash, Gilda is more butch and manly than any dude she could find. I’m just glad she's with another chick. Now no guy has to waste their time dealing with her creepy makeup and loud mouth all the time. They can date a real woman, like that Rarity chick."

Gilda, Applejack, and Rainbow had all started advancing towards the colts, rage dripping from every pore. Pinkie put her hoof in their way to stop them. They paused to stare at her questioningly, but she merely smiled and winked in reply as she turned to the boys hopped towards their clouds. None of them could figure out what her plan was but with each happy bounce she got higher and higher.

"Hey look, the dumb pink bimbo is coming over to our side. Decided to give up the chicks and start bucking dic-"

CHOMP

The brown pony screamed like a filly and thrashed around in the air. Pinkie had taken a giant bite out of his cloud, leaving sharp terrifying teeth marks in the fluffy matter that was still left. When she hit the ground again she shook off the white fluff covering her face and growled in rabid fury.

"Holy friggin horse apples! Th….this chick is buckin nuts. Come on guys, this crazed up cannibal can have her stupid girly wedding. Wer’e too good for them anyway." The other boys hastily nodded and started flapping their wings, forcing the cloud away. “Have a good time being les-“

He jumped a foot off the cloud and hid behind his friends before that last word was uttered, Pinkie had taken a flying leap at them again and landed on what was left of the cloud. She glared at them. A violent menacing stare that pierced each one of their souls. The stallions huddled together staring up at the little pink pony, each one shivering in mortal terror. Having made her point she ripped off a small piece of the cloud and chewed it as she hopped back onto the ground. “And that’s what happened to the last colts that messed with my Gildy pie…. Mmmm minty!” She giggled as she licked the last bit of cloud off her hoof.

A small crowd had gathered around to watch the spectacle and they all clopped their hooves in applause at her display of bravery and outright insanity. Gilda, AJ, and Dash however, just stood frozen in wide eyed amazement. The little party pony just skipped over to them pleasantly humming a tune and completely ignoring their expressions.

“So Dashie, you had something to say about our wedding?"

Her pupils shrank to pinpricks and she hastily shook her head.

“Okey Dokey Lokey.” She mused. “Now lets go Gildy baby, we have to meet Rarity for some advice.” Before the griffon could even object, she was forcefully dragged towards the Carousel boutique. She shrugged an apology to the mares, looking utterly defeated.

Spike wandered forward from the dissipating crowd and glanced between the still petrified ponies. He waved a claw in front of each of them but no response came. Neither of them even had the clarity to say hello. He took advantage of the situation and wrapped his arms around them both smiling vapidly.

“So umm…. Either of you got a date to this wedding thing yet or is this a bad time?”

Even without the verbosity to answer, both mares mustered enough sense to buck him away, sending the dejected little dragon rolling down the street.

Comments

[Balancer]

Sorry but just not seeing ANY chance of pinkie and Gilda together EVER......just saying...3 stars

[Balancer]

Still funny though

[Appleloosa2011]

LOL!

Pinkie Pie and Gilda engaged!

[Adam Crocker]

Personally I think the whole appeal of the pairing is how utterly, utterly (and exquisitely) crack it is.

And I'm glad to see that the author seems to be aware of that playing up the comedy as much as possible.

Very lol.gildaPie shipping?

[Adam Crocker]

46753

Oddly enough I'm actually a bit surprised that I haven't seen this yet given that I've seen a number of people speculate on the possibility of it. No they're not a natural pair, but then look at the popularity of the Twixie ship. Or the way fans latch onto couplings filled with squabbling (namely AppleDash and Rarijack). Pairing up Gilda and Pinkie would be exactly in the same vein, but so much more rife with comic potential considering the parties involved. In some ways it's almost a "natural" crack-pairing.

[gapaot]

Wow... I like it. Pinkie and Gilda is nice pair, thought, wild and fun. Pinkie can learn how to be more serious, Gilda - how to have fun

Tracked and 5-star. Can't wait to read more!

[Salnax]

Why do I love this pairing? 4 stars.

[Cupcake Chaos]

I wanted to do a pairing Ive absolutely never read in any other fic and I was surprised no one had tried this one. I looked everywhere to find it before I started writing. Nothing. Anywhere. I tried to think of any reason GildiePie would be weirder than Gilddash and I couldn't think of one. They do get into a nice pleasant fight in the next chapter but because its Pinkie Pie trying to make a sensible argument....well......

[PegaSister]

Poor spike

[Cupcake Chaos]

47371
Thanks I fixed it. Im pretty crappy at grammar, so there may be quite a bit of these kinds of issues in chapter 3.

[Princess of everything]

OOOOO. Can't wait to read this and see where this is going.

[Supersheep64]

For some reason I like this version of Spike. And in all this is pretty hilarious.

Not exactly happy with how you made the three guys. they DID make up with Rainbow, unlike Gilda.

[honorwolf]

^-^