[APRIL FOOLS] 1,622 - Idiocy in Spring
“I love this show…” Discord said happily to himself from his comfortable sofa in his personal house- well, if one could consider an entire dimension to be his house. He was gazing at a television on his wall showing Twilight Sparkle as a changeling playing what looked like chess with a thoroughly flabbergasted Queen Chrysalis.
“I know,” the other Discord laughed to himself. “I of course knew her identity the whole time, but not revealing it created so much chaos that I couldn't resist just watching it play out. Of course I was also quite stoned at the time.”
Discord one gave Discord dos a high-five. “I am quite saddened that I missed such an opportunity.”
“Make one.” Discord dos encouraged with a little nudge-nudge and wink-wink. “After all, things have been pretty boring on my side of things since Serpens bit the dust. We could use a bit more chaos over there.”
Discord one pondered this thoughtfully, a big tree with blue leaves appearing beneath him. “Yes, perhaps, but the chaos as a result would potentially cause damage to dimensional barriers.
“And when has that ever stopped us?”
“We like not dying?”
“Eh, whatever. This isn’t canon anyway, sort of, so who cares?”
“Fair enough. So, where shall we put them?”
“Let’s flip a coin!” Discord dos announced excitedly, a massive circle of copper appearing in his claws.
“Heads it’s mine tails it’s yours?”
“Sure!”
And then the coin was flipped.
* * * * * * *
“How the BUCK did you manage this?!” Tone Shift demanded, throwing the thoroughly destroyed washcloth to the ground in front of Chrysalis in his kitchenn. Chrysalis looked at him before using her magic to wipe the splattered egg yolk off of her face.
“Did you just throw down the gauntlet with a washcloth?” she asked teasingly, earning a twitch of Tone’s eye.
“I asked you a question. Answer. Do it!” Tone stomped on the floor. At about the time he did, they both heard a loud POP!
“...Where are we?” Tone Shift quickly asked, looking around at the rather large chamber.
“This one was not my fault.” Chrysalis snidely remarked.
* * * * * * *
“Check,” Twilight stated smugly, much to Chrysalis’ supreme annoyance.
“How did you even do that?” she asked. “I had you cornered!”
“You should never underestimate me,” Twilight responded, her smug look not abating for even a moment. “I am, after all, the former protege of Princess Celestia, the master of chess.”
“Playing chess with your lives, in order to redeem her sister, doesn’t count.”
Twilight shrugged. “Meh, I forgave her. Friendship is magic and all that.”
“Please stop saying that,” Chrysalis deadpanned. “Who even came up with that phrase? It sounds like something for children.”
“Adults can also learn the magic of friendship,” Twilight argued. “It doesn’t have to be all explosions and death.”
“Not with our track record.”
“Err… my Queen?” Carduus said over the hive mind. “You are in Cafe’ Le Blanc right now, correct?”
Twilight and Chrysalis glanced at one another in confusion.
“Yes, why would you even need to ask such a thing. I’m enjoying an infuriating game of chess with my daughter.”
“Then why are you also shouting at a pony in front of your mother’s statue?”
“WHAT?”
Twilight sighed. “It’s probably just Thorax playing a joke or something.”
“It better be,” Chrysalis grumbled. “Are you sure it’s me, because I’m pretty sure I’m here. Let me check… yes, definitely here.”
“I’ve checked, and no drone here is claiming responsibility. Plus the other… you, is being rather rude to the poor stallion. I’m a little confused to be honest.”
Chrysalis’ eye twitched. “Twilight, this is your fault somehow.”
Twilight looked offended. “What!? How do you figure that?”
“Everything happens to you,” she pointed out. “Ancient evils, friendship lessons, Pinkie Pie. Serpens. It all happens to you and only you.”
“I would remember cloning you in the mirror pool,” Twilight argued back. “No, this one isn’t on me.”
“Well, whoever’s fault it is, could you please come here? The other you is starting to notice she isn’t alone with the stallion… and it’s scaring me.”
“You’re a Captain of the Royal Guard, grow some backbone!” Chrysalis chastised Carduus.
“But I need an adult,” Carduus stated, though his tone indicated he was joking.
“You ARE an adult!” Chrysalis raged.
“I feel like we’re stalling right now,” Princess Twilight pointed out. “We should probably see what really is going on. I mean, it can’t really be another you. And what is a pony even doing here?”
“It might be the pony’s fault then,” Chrysalis muttered. “I’m going to have words with him, and demand he dispel the obviously fake doppelganger at once!”
Chrysalis slammed her hooves onto the table (breaking the chessboard, much to Twilight’s irritation) and stood up, striding out of the cafe’ seeming with rage.
Twilight had a very bad feeling all of a sudden. It was saturday after all.
* * * * * * *
“What is this place?!” Chrysalis asked loudly, causing several nearby changeling drones to scatter in panic. “And why are there changelings here?! I don’t know any of you!” She pointed at one in a suit of armor, who flinched away. “WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!”
“Uh… Carduus…” he said, taking a step back.
“Chrysalis, calm down. Shouldn’t this be a good thing?” Tone asked carefully, before realizing what he just said. “Or rather, good for you? Equestria’s kinda screwed if so, but still!”
“The only Carduus I ever had in my kingdom was a cleansing drone! He cleaned out latrines, gutters and did janitorial work!” Chrysalis spluttered, glaring at ‘Carduus’ with a confused anger radiating off of her.
“Well, if these drones listen to you will you make sure they don’t try to eat me or whatever?” Tone asked, suddenly becoming very nervous as he saw all of the fangs on the drones looking at the two.
“I’ll consider it.” Chrysalis spat at him before looking around. Her eyes twitched as she looked at the big statue in the middle of the big room. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!” she shouted.
“I should be asking that of you, imposter!” Chrysalis, the other one, retorted as she exited her flight and slammed into the floor between the intruders and Captain Carduus. “Pony! Dispel the illusion this instant!”
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?!” Chrysalis, the first one, shouted back, jabbing a hoof in her direction. Tone Shift absently brushed a hoof over his mane, which conspicuously had no horn jutting from it.
“I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Badlands Changeling Hive! You are in my domain, and I demand to know why YOU LOOK LIKE ME!”
“Uh, I’m not a unicorn,” Tone said meekly from where he stood. “So, I can’t be doing this…”
“I knew that!” Chrysalis lied.
“Huh… telling them apart is gonna be a challenge.” Discord muttered to his other.
“Indeed.” Discord dos said absently. “Let’s just make a mild change here shall we…?”
“Ooh, we’re changing names?” Discord one asked excitedly.
“Oh, of course! The nice one shall, henceforth, be known as Chryssi!”
“Which one is the nice one?”
“Why does that drone look like the Princess of Friendship?” Chrysalis demanded with more anger in her voice, pointing at a now very confused Princess Twilight Sparkle just as the young changeling arrived.
‘What!?” Chryssi asked. ‘That’s my daughter you cu-”
“There we go.”
“Got it.”
“So… what’s going on here?” Twilight asked. “Making friends are we?”
“Friends?” Chrysalis snarked out. “I don’t think so.”
“Wow, you must be a loner,” Chryssi remarked. “I feel sorry for you.”
“Shut up!” Chrysalis barked before looking around again. “And send us back!”
“Definitely an alternate reality then,” Twilight started, walking up to Chrysalis and looking over her as a scientist would a guinea pig. “What’s your world like? What am I like there, the other Princess Twilight I mean.”
“Oh, sweet merciful Chitina it’s another one…” Chrysalis groaned in aggravation. “Somepony pinch me and wake me from this nightmare…”
“So, you’re not my mother where you come from?” Twilight asked, a little hurt in her voice.
“Considering your bull-headed brother and his wife ruined my initial plans and plunged my kingdom into a few years of starvation, all because you, or, well, the other you, noticed Cadance was being off...” Chrysalis snarled out. “I would sooner bash my brains out then have you as a daughter.”
Chryssi, on seeing her child insulted, quickly crossed the distance between herself and her counterpart and looked ready to cross horns in combat.
“YOU DARE INSULT MY DAUGHTER!?” Chryssi yelled. “Our mother, Queen Avia, would be appalled at the changeling you became in your world!”
“Congratulations. I don’t care.” Chrysalis snapped. “Also, who is Queen Avia? My mother wasn’t named Avia, and I simply took over from her when she eventually passed away."
“Well, at least you don’t have Crudelis for an aunt,” Chryssi muttered. “Not that it matters, it looks like you are a suitable replacement.”
As the argument continued on, Twilight could have sworn she saw a glowing crack appear in the base of the statue, before it vanished again.
“I don’t have an aunt anyway.” Chrysalis said dismissively. "So are all these drones yours, or did Sparkle Butt over there birth some?"
Chryssi's and Twilight's eyes widened. "W-what?"
"Birthed, you know? Popped them out en-masse to create an army capable of laying siege to the land."
Chryssi swore she was about to throw up. "I... NO! No no no no, just no!"
Chrysalis was confused by her other's odd reaction, but simply rolled her eyes before turning to Tone Shift. “I don’t know how you stomping your hoof brought us here; maybe it was just poor timing or your hoof is magic in some way, but right now, I don’t care. We. are. LEAVING.”
Tone nodded sheepishly. ‘Uh, sure…” he said, trying to hide that he had just seen the phrase ‘-yours, Discord and Discord dos.’’ burned into his hoof.
“Well,” Twilight spoke up. “Unless you have a mirror portal conveniently stashed in the large ego of yours, then you’re stuck here. Too bad for you.”
“Piss off!” Chrysalis snapped before picking up Tone Shift in her magic and buzzing off, much to Chryssi’s relief.
“My Queen,” Carduus addressed. “We really shouldn’t let them leave. What if she tries to attack Princess Celestia or something and they think it’s you?”
Chryssi began to realize the implications. “Shit.”
Twilight sighed, and then took the initiative. “Lockdown the hive, now! Apprehend the Chrysalis carrying around the pony like I used to carry Smarty Pants!”
* * * * * * *
Chrysalis looked around with Tone Shift flailing in her magic and panicking hysterically, begging for Chrysalis to keep him right-side up while she went, to which she simply spun him faster out of spite. “Where is the exit…” she grumbled to herself.
“There!” another voice shouted from below. Chrysalis looked down, saw a small swarm of drones flying at her with swords drawn.
“This is NOT how I thought today was going to go!” Chrysalis yelled as she quickly flew the other way. The drones gave chase, only to pass Chrysalis completely. She had taken on the form of a candlestick and hid Tone Shift behind a wall-mounted tapestry after knocking him out.
Once the drones had passed, a little, tiny drone peeked around at them from a nearby corner. “Huh?” the nymph, Iuvenes, asked as she approached the candlestick. “Why is this here?” she asked with an adorable amount of childish curiosity. She poked the candlestick, causing Chrysalis to drop the disguise as one of her most sensitive spots just got poked.
“Yeep!” Chrysalis squeaked, her hold on Tone failing and he dropped to the floor with a sound not unlike a wet sack of tomatoes falling over.
“You look like the Queen,” Iuvenes noted, but a frown showed she wasn’t sure. “But you also look like a big jerk!”
Tone Shift, starting to wake up, mumbled: “You are correct…”
“Shut up!” Chrysalis snapped at both of them. “How did you know I was right here?”
“My friends and I always play hide and seek here, and that candle was new! So I poked it.”
“Play?” Chrysalis replied, wording it as if it were a foreign phrase she was trying to figure out the pronunciation of. “Oh, I see. I think.” She gave an impressed grin. “You’re using such a game to improve your stealth! Why didn’t I think of that? You’re… er, hive may not be such a shitshow after all.”
“You said a bad word,” Iuvenes scolded. “And I don’t play for practice, I play for fun!””
“First, yes, I said a bad word. Fucking deal with it. Second, good, you have fun being sneaky. You’ll make a fine infiltrator. Now piss off. I’m leaving.” Chrysalis picked up a now very motion sick Tone Shift in her magic again and flew away.
“...Jerk…” Iuvenes pouted.
Just as Chrysalis made her escape, however, she had the ultimate misfortune of running into and being grappled rather violently by her EXTREMELY pissed off counterpart.
“Hold her down!” Chryssi ordered, many drones grabbing onto the other Changeling Queen where they could.
Princess Twilight, for her part, was just making notes on a pad marked ‘interdimensional relations and how they can royally fuck up’.
“Damn! How did you find me!?”
“My daughter said you told her a bad word over the hive mind,” Captain Carduus replied. “Fuck you for that, by the way.”
“Hypocrite…” Chrysalis snarled before tilting her head as she was hefted up with her forehooves covered in green slime. “Hive mind? You have that?”
Twilight immediately entered research mode. “The Changeling Egregore, or hive mind, is a startling evolutionary advantage. It allows communication between changelings at close ranges, but not much else. Each changeling is on their own unique-”
“Bored now. Shut up,” Chrysalis interrupted, earning an annoyed snort from Chryssi and a pout from Twilight.
It was during her pout (no one disses booksmart!) that Twilight noticed the cracks again, only this time they weren’t going away.
“Um, Mother? Could you look at-”
“Don’t interrupt my daughter, you half-wit!” Chryssi growled at Chrysalis, very much so ignoring Twilight at this point as ‘mama wolf’ mode kicked in.
“Or what?” Chrysalis challenged, using some of her own magic to remove the green slime at her hooves.
Chryssi had finally had enough, and with a heavily twitching eye she ignited a blade of pure magic. “There can be only one!”
A chunk of the hive’s wall nearby broke away, floating in mid-air as purple light and weird energies were seen on the other side.
“Looks like it’s breaking…” Discord dos commented.
“Aw, so soon? I had too much popcorn for this!”
By now Twilight had started to panic quite a bit. The whole universe was breaking apart, so on this rare occasion she was actually justified.
“I didn’t survive getting shanked just to die to the inevitable heat death of the universe!” Twilight shouted to herself. “Not like this! I still have three sequels to survive!”
The changeling princess suddenly realised she had done a Pinkie Pie, and she blamed the fact that the universe had literally fallen apart. Tone shift stumbled over and showed her his hoof with the Discord and Discord Dos signature.
“Not to be a killjoy, but… we’re screwed,” he said simply.
Twilight stared at it, still ignoring the fact that her mother and her mother’s alternate were cat fighting in the corner with a crowd of changelings making bets as to who would win.
“Oh Celestia dammit, DISCORD!”
And then the universe caved in on itself.
* * * * * * *
“Well, that was short-lived…” Discord grumbled to his other.
“It was, but at least it was fun. And besides,” Discord dos gave a smirk, snapping his fingers and popping the whole of reality back to where it had been just before they started this nonsense. “We can always do it again…”
“I love you.”
“No homo, now.”
THE END
(Now back to our scheduled program)
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this is grate I love it.
Well, that happened.
8066395 Weren't expecting to see Change here, were you...
8066399 Nope, I wasn't. Still, it was nice to see that version of Chryssie before she was taken from us prematurely.
8066395 April Fools Joke.
*looks at the joke chapter that just hoped out of the story with no indication*
unknownlist.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/44aNcdP-664x498.jpg
I did't expect see a crossover of Change...
This make my day complete
oh gosh, three sequels? Well then...
Finished reading this during dinner break this Wednesday. Oh, trust me, I have so much to say.
1. This is such a SPACESHIP! Never thought one could ever read about neutral1 Chrysalis romance fiction with an OC that isn't a Gary Stu. This is good enough for me to get buried in!
2. Although the story contains a certain amount of, *ahem*, cliches, it is still pleasant to read about Mr Tone Shift and Queen Chrysalis pretending not loving each other.
The appearance of Princess Luna in the later chapter was a surprise; I didn't realize that Tone's dreams could possibly be noticed.
3. Now, about this Tone Shift. I notice that he and you have a lot in common, including occupation. Combined with him being used as your avatar picture, I assume he is your ponysona.
i) I found his 'Question!' procedure quite amusing. Is it a feature available only with Tone Shift or both him and User Skijarama?
ii) It made me curious about that little ‘happy dance’ he did in Chapter 12. What is it like? I tried to repeat my own as Chrysalis did, and had to stop because one of my classmate asked if I was having a seizure. [Facehoof]
All in all, this is a good one. Well done, sir!
As Chinese polite words goes,
have a cute foal soon, Tone & Chryssi!
- - -H O O F N O T E- - -
1(neutral): (Chrysalis) is from neither Littles nor Change.
9335762
A correct assumption.
I have been known to sometimes declare "Question" before asking the question. Usually to ensure that whoever I am talking to is listening.
I just imagined a very brief and not-at-all well-done tap dance.
It is so nice to read this again with FULL knowledge of BOTH source materials.
I loved this! I've been looking for Chrysalis love stories and this is one of the best I've read. My only criticism is that their story should have taken place over a longer space of time. But this works!
9734431
This is pretty much my own big gripe with it in retrospect.
9734638
Well, Romeo and Juliet fell in love and married after only meeting twice. And yet people buy it.
9734903
I don't.
9734982
You must have had the same English teacher I had in high school.
9735012
I dunno, I just find it hard to believe that such a romance could occur. Even if it did, those characters are still insanely stupid.
9735052
Love at first sight is a thing. But I agree, marriage at first sight is just stupid.
9735214
True enough, though that's no guarantee that it is mutual. Anyways, this subject is a little off-topic at this point, and it's clear we share a certain distaste for Romeo and Juliet's lack of patience, so shall we leave it at that?
9735218
Indeed. Thanks for the chat and writing a great story.
I really enjoyed this story. Thank you so much.
10020936 I'm on the opposite spectrum from you. I think people should be more self-reliant.
You've been reviewed
Thats the second time I've heard of dimensional barriers
11021602
I thought so. Wish I could do that.
I tried to look up serpens in the context of MLP, but the only real results I got was a deviantart OC, which is tantamount to 'nothing useful'
But fun fact: Serpens is among the original 48 constellations recognized and recorded by Ptolemy in the second century