- Member Since 14th Mar, 2016
- offline last seen June 29th
Lil Penpusher
Put the words in the bag and nopony gets hurt
Lil Penpusher
Joined 14th Mar, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Mint · 139k words · 375 32 · 7.5k views
- Smayds · 14k words · 270 25 · 7.6k views
- Priceless911 · 100k words · 159 6 · 3.9k views
- Dragryphon · 40k words · 72 2 · 4.7k views
- Nero Darkard · 58k words · 126 6 · 2.4k views
- BlackRoseRaven · 336k words · 231 7 · 3.4k views
- Sparkle · 84k words · 161 6 · 11k views
Featured In21
- Celestia & Luna4,503 stories ·2,778 members
Sad4,522 stories ·2,667 members
The Writers' Group58,622 stories ·9,531 members
Luna Is The Best Pony4,780 stories ·7,455 members
- Author Support4,445 stories ·2,094 members
- Struggling Authors26,116 stories ·3,745 members
School for New Writers9,977 stories ·5,071 members
I Just Want a Comment16,301 stories ·3,817 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.078 seconds
Total duration
844 users online
1,043,695 hits today, 1,542,450 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2025
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2025 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Magnificent. Truly a miracle of the literary arts. I would describe reading this as akin to reaching Nirvana or perhaps ascending to godhood.
7922273 The what now?
7922279 it's gud
7922284 Oh...
Yes, I knew that.
Totally.
Yup.
Huh. this seems interesing, I'll keep track of it for now.
7930339 Thank you for your interest!
You mispellee celestia in the description.
7930360 Fixed. Thank you very much for pointing that one out
I guess that you cold say that she's cold as ice...
7932440 Got'em
I honestly saw no mistakes in that one.
7944556 u stoopid?
jk, u kewl
Sure this is not end
8001371 I'm afraid it is
Not entirely sure why this is M rated, but hey, it's a pretty dern good fic.
8086634 There were some scenes that were borderline gore(y), so I decided to go the safe route and rate it mature (don't want no knighty knockin' on mah door)
8086676
Makes sense...
Really great beginning, you did well on emphasizing how dreadful this mysterious 'disease' is. Why do I have the feeling Sombra is involved in it somehow? Anyway, Luna now seems pretty determined to face the Nightmare, I wonder what will be the thing that will make her succumb.
A few small nitpicks; At the very beginning, you mention this is happening in Canterlot. However, given the time, I believe these events rather took place at the old Castle of the Royal Sisters. (Also, why is that small part at the beginning in present tense?)
Second, try avoiding using numerals (1, 2, 10...) They break the flow quite a lot.
8427848
Wasn’t Canterlot Castle built after Discord’s defeat? So, like, quite a bit before this? Not sure, now that you mention it
8427905
I believe that Discord was defeated before Nightmare Moon happened. And we know from the show that the fight between the sisters took place in the old castle...
8429330
Well then...
...bugger.
8429469
Sorry
8431769
Oh well, too late to change it up now so...
Better luck next time?
8431775
Probably. No problem, I wasn't intending to make you feel bad.
8431777
Pfft, you didn’t, don’t worry. Gonna take a lot more than that. Besides, It’s nothing too dramatic, so I think I’m good
Wow, very well written chapter. The Nightmare is an excellent puppeteer and you have greatly conveyed it
8438014
Thanks!
The last two chapters were really great. Rich both in lore and description details, as well as slow emotional build up. Great!
Two things I noticed thorough the story;
Even a simple 'she' would be enough sometimes.
First, there are issues with direct speech punctuation and capps, similar to what I pointed out in your Sombra the Incompetent story.
Second, try to find synonyms for Celestia and Luna/Nightmare Moon. These names tend to get really repetitive at places, nearing the 'lavender unicorn' syndrome