Twilight Sparkle finds herself amidst a grand adventure in a realm of slumber. Unfortunately, her progress is being tracked by an unknown foe. With the help of a unlikely ally and a shocked pony, she makes her way through her own mind and beyond.
This is a surrealist work in the same dream-like style of my story "Rarity's Dream: And then the door opened..."
--You might like this story if you also like:--
Twilight speaking in dreamspeak
Goats
Lyra freaking out
Dreamlike imagery and surreal situations
Narrative ambiguity
Chapters (1)
Another excellent escape into the absurd realm. I'm definitely more curious about the Dreamscape of Ponyville. Are you planning on continuing this series?
856526
Yes, this is actually first in a multi-part. I plan on making at least three parts to this one and then continuing the series beyond it with other ponies. Vinyl Scratch is one I'd like to focus on next.
Thanks for the fav and comment!
856561 Sweeeeet! Vinyl is going to be awesome!
I have a similar idea that I was using for a side-project; dreams had by various characters; but this is absolutely amazing.
The subconscious is a place where 'normal' doesn't exist; ideas don't flow like to do in the waking world, and being able to capture that flow in words is incredible, and I think you do it very well.
I thought some of my ideas for dreams were random, but I couldn't see them being anything like this. Well done! I will definitely be following this series.
856720
Thank you for the compliments! Hey, that's pretty cool that you're doing your own dream series as well. I think writing out character dreams can be very rewarding and the cool part about that is the fact that dreams are just as personal and unique as writing styles, so whatever you write will be as unique as your dreams.
My first impression: "I have no idea what the Fortress of Time is."
In your intro, you told me the name of the scene's location, not where we were. Imagine someone reading The Fellowship of the Ring and Tolkien just starts it out with, "Frodo is in the Shire and he has a dangerous ring." That's basically what's happening here.
What you're attempting to do is a good way to start a story--set up a mystery to be solved, but I feel you've gone about it the wrong way. What I should be wondering isn't, "What is the Fortress of Time?" I should be wondering, "What is this dark and dank dungeon Twilight is stuck in?" Describe, describe, describe--don't tell.
857209
Hmm...well that is a good point, though this surrealist writing presents a problem with the kind of basic storytelling concept you've described.
The issue with writing a surrealist creation like this one is the fluidity of it all. It is both a benefit and a detriment at the same time for the reason you have stated.
Part of the method of writing this piece involves constant forward motion. I don't stop or consider where the story could go and instead simply go in that direction. Sometimes, there will be names and instances mentioned in the narrative that do not show up again (or have yet to show up again) and the Fortress of Time is one of them.
You are very right about describing rather than telling, but when it comes to surrealism, the poetic flow comes before most everything else. It has to move and keep moving like a piece of music.
I will, however, keep in mind the concept of describing rather than telling when it comes to key elements of the story. There are certain things I do not want to leave so ambiguous and I will work on making sure those are expressed very clearly, like Lyra's lucidity near the end.
I'm gonna see how i can approach this with the suggestion you've made while still keeping the feel of the story in its current form.
Thanks again!
Also, mega plus points for the Immanuel Kant name you have there. Philosophy reference for the win!
Well, this was somewhat different from Rarity's, in that this seemed more ... straightforward? It didn't jump around as much, I don't think. At least not in my mind. With that said, it still lived up to the idea of a dream, and the idea of a dreamscape that I presume at least a few of the ponies share is intriguing. Looking forward to more in the next chapter.
857403
Yep, it is very straightforward compared to Rarity's. I kinda like both ways, but with the longer narrative, I tried this style instead.
Thanks for the compliments!
Is this dead? I hope it isn't, I still like it just as much as when it was first posted.
3203470
Hmm...I haven't done a surrealist writing in a while. I might try adding to this soon.
3221773 Woohoo!
4705792
Thanks to your comment, I actually wrote another story!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/204276/lyras-dream-the-underville
And it's just like this one, only it has Lyra. Enjoy! And thank you for the compliments!
:D