• Member Since 5th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Emperor


Leave your headcanons at the door.

Sequels1

E

An origin story of Our Town. Double Diamond is a pony from the city who heads out to the Equestrian hinterlands for a day of skiing. After getting into a skiing accident and injuring himself, Starlight Glimmer takes him to her house nearby to treat his injuries. During his time as her guest, Double Diamond and Starlight talk.

By the end of his stay, Diamond will become Starlight's first follower in the ideology of Equality, and Our Town is born.

Note on story genre: This story itself isn't sad, but you if you've watched The Cutie Map you'll know how it ends. Cover art by swanlullaby, used with permission.

Day 3 of my Self-Imposed 28 Fics in 28 Days Challenge

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 8 )

Holy shit, 10,000 words in a single day!? I can barely push out 1,600

7918506 It was more like 7,000 since I allow myself to bank words on previous days of the challenge and wrote 3,000 the day before. I have done 10,000 in a day before though.

What did you think of the actual story, in any event?

But you...ah, for you, I’d
Starlight seemed troubled

Whoops?

It was like he had voided his bowels, except it was a more profound, universal feeling of emptiness.

Interesting choice of words, to say the very least.

Besides that, good story.

I'm a sucker for Our Town origin stories, so this interested me right from the description. I like the ideas you have about Starlight's background, and why she's out there in the desert in the first place. Some fun little touches, too, eg the Double Diamond/Daring Do thing. It does rather show that it was written quickly, though: there's an awful lot of exposition that could have been edited down, and Double's thought processes late on seem rather too convenient. There's potential here, and it's interesting as it stands -- but I think it could have been a really good story with a bit more time spent on it.

Wow, this was amazing for something made in one day, and a great slice of life story even without considering that. I do have one criticism though, it's the fact that Double Diamond's mindset changed so quickly, the mane 6 still wanted their cutie marks after they were taken. Oh, also, did Starlight put back her cutie mark after this story or something, cause it was in a bottle here. Anyways, great story, and I hope all your other stories match up to this.

A good beginning. I like the development of their relationship from the chance encounter to a much warmer, leaning on friendly situation.

I like it! I think it’s a fantastic take on the origins of Our Town. :twilightsmile:

It's kind of weird reading this now thanks to Rock Solid Friendship.

It's still a good take on the origin of the village at the time this was written.

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