• Published 13th Apr 2017
  • 1,248 Views, 7 Comments

A Relaxing Hypnotism Session with a Zebra - CAPTAIN YOSHI HD



Zecora makes Spoiled Rich relax.

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Good End

Zecora went over to a side of Spoiled's body. She put both of her front hooves on Spoiled's belly and pressed them firmly into the stomach. Spoiled's eyelids began to get heavy, making her feel like falling asleep. "Aw, is Little Miss Spoiled getting tired?", she asked, calmly. "Does this little massage on the belly make you want to go to sleep?"

"Y-yes,... feels... so... good.", Spoiled said.

Zecora moved each and every hoof up and down in a pattern. "Nice little belly massage on this cute, fluffy belly.", she cooed. She loved how Spoiled's belly feels, so soft and fluffy, even a bit squishy and doughy to touch. She stopped, she was right at the moment where she removes her hooves from her belly to deactivate the gems and the amulet.

Spoiled was about ready to be done being hypnotized. "Alright, Spoiled, we're just about done.", she said. "When I deactivate the gems and amulet, you will be put to sleep. And when I gently tickle your belly with one hoof, you will wake up from your trance." She removed both hooves from her belly and Spoiled fell asleep. She removed the gems from her head and belly, and unlocked her hooves from the cuffs. The zebra picked up Spoiled's sleeping body from the restraining board, went back to the main room and gently put her on the floor.

She bent down, laying her eyes on Spoiled's slightly dark pink belly, hardly trying to take her eye off it. "Looks like somepony takes good care her belly.", she said. "Lets not keep her in trance forever." She puts a hoof to her belly and began to tickle it.

Spoiled woke up laughing. "Hohoho. Hahaha. Oh hohohohoho. Hehe. Stop, it tickles.", she laughed.

Zecora stopped and helped the pink mare up. "Sorry, I got carried away.", she said.

Spoiled blinked a few times and figured out that she is back in the main room and was hypnotized for... how many minutes? "How long was I hypnotized?", she asked. "We just started at 2:30."

Zecora pointed at a clock. "Look for yourself.", she said.

Spoiled saw the clock, seeing that it's 2:55. Her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, it's almost 3:00!", she yelled. "Diamond Tiara's class ends in five minutes."

"Well, if you need to pick up your daughter so badly, go do it.", Zecora said.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do.", Spoiled said, dashing out the room. Before heading to the school, she peaked her head back in the door to say one last thing. "By the way, thanks for that. Thanks for helping me relax, Zecora."

"No problem.", Zecora said. "And about what you saw in my basement, don't mention it to anypony. Is that clear?"

Spoiled nodded and ran through the Everfree Forest to get to the streets of Ponyville.

Comments ( 5 )

Hm, this feels like it should warrant an Alternative Universe tag, considering Spoiled is actually eager to pick up Diamond Tiara from class.

8092322

I gotta admit, forcing her into an eternal slumber and then burying her alive would've been way more satisfying if she'd been in character.

Honestly, if I had the chance to hypnotize her, I'd just pull one of those "use mind control to make bad guys good" things. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Not bad. Not bad at all. :twilightsmile:

This unfortunately suffers the same issues that your previous hypnosis stories have: massively contrived everything, particularly the reason for including hypnosis, characters so dry and naive that they're impossible to believe, extremely stiff dialogue that lacks any characterization and makes it very hard to get immersed, and grammar that's all over the place, although to your credit there were fewer run-on sentences in this one, at least that I noticed. The big grammar issue in this one was verb tense. You gotta pick one. Is this happening now, as in Spoiled Rich walks through the Everfree, or did it happen in the past, as in Spoiled Rich walked through the Everfree.
On a side note, hypnotization isn't a word.
I will say that this is a marginal improvement from the last one in terms of the technical stuff, but is also an unfortunate step backwards as far as character and plot believability.
Keep working on these. You can improve, but only if you put forth the effort.

8092338 I feel like this could've worked better, if the story was stretched out more and Zecora actually did some things with Spoiled under the hypnotic state. Like say, make Spoiled dress up or act in a way she would normally not. I mean heck, considering the rating of this fic: I was expecting Zecora to hypnotize Spoiled into wearing diapers.

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