• Published 31st Jan 2017
  • 2,061 Views, 212 Comments

One Thousand One Ways to Thwart a King - enigmaMystere



What would happen if ponies were not only prepared for the Caribou, but were able to ask across dimensions for help? Now, what if they were stuck in a time loop?

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...A Little More Action (or The Wisdom of Solomon)

For a moment, nothing happens. The two of them look around the field, their brows furrowing slightly.

"Is that it?" Dainn smirks slyly at her. "What a waste of a spell. And that was meant to keep you safe from me?"

Twilight's eyes narrow at him, her mouth opening to reply when a comic book flies right into her face. Sputtering a bit, she pulls it off, glowering at the mockery of true literature when she takes notice of the drawing on the front, of a child in a red sweater and blue jeans. What concerned her the most about this picture is the fact that the child didn't seem to be a pony at all, or even a species known to most of ponykind. What kind of Equestrian comic doesn't feature at least a dragon as their protagonist? Maybe it came from the mirror?

Then it began to glow.

With a yelp, she drops it on the ground, the child practically tumbling from the pages. He looks around, shivering a bit from the sudden change in temperature. Rubbing his arms, he looks between the two of them before turning back to Twilight, his eye twitching a bit. "Why is that guy naked?" His eyes dart upwards for a moment. "...do you have a horn?"

She glances up, then looks at him, concerned. "...yes?"

"Is this a farce?" The king growls angrily, stepping towards the two of them. "That spell brings a character to life? Is that it?" He points a finger at the two of them. "I'll kill you and the stupid brat, your use as a prize slut be damned."

Before Twilight can even think to become irate at this, the boy sighs and stands, taking a few steps towards the taller caribou. "Alright, that clears things up. You're the bad guy, and a particularly bad one, at that."

"I am a king. I do what I need to for my country." He scoffs, looking down condescendingly at the boy. "Not that a runt like you would understand. Tell me who you are so I can forget it after you're dead."

His eyes narrow, and he gives a cocky smirk in return. "Shazam!"

Before any of them can ask for clarification, a bolt of lightning strikes him square in the chest, causing them to jump back and look to the skies for the cloud and pegasus responsible. The search comes up empty, but the caribou stopped looking a few seconds in, lifted up by the chestplate, a being matching his stature the one suspending him against his will.

His eyes look at Dainn, the confident smile naturally on his lips faltering the slightest bit. "You really think this is the right course of action. That taking over everything like this and treating the females of this world like this will make things better for your subjects." He draws him close, scowling a bit. "You'd be wrong. And you're sick."

"Who are you to call me sick?" The king sneers at the man in red, his hands gripping the arm holding him up hard enough for the human to flinch. "It's these ponies that are sick, letting a pair of bitches rule over them. Telling them what love is." He spits these words as though the very taste of them on his tongue is like the strongest acid eating through his maw. A brown furry fist slams into the man's face with the force of a train, causing him to stagger back a bit. His grip holds steady, however, and his expression only hardens.

"I don't care what you think." He lifts him up above his head, his other hand bracing him by his belly. "They did nothing wrong, and you are in the wrong." His face becomes set in stone as he opens his mouth. "SHAZAM!"

A lightning bolt shoots down from the clear blue sky, and he swiftly turns to intercept it with the body in his hands, causing Dainn to cry out in pain from the electricity coursing through his body. "SHAZAM!" Another bolt, another yelp. This continues for a bit, shouting and striking in a cycle, before the king turns himself over, making the man be struck instead, transforming him back into a kid.

Realizing this, the boy opens his mouth once more. "SHAZ-Ack!" His eyes grow wide as he claws at the hand clasped tight around his throat.

"Shut up and die, traitorous scum." Dainn snorts derisively. "You betray your own kind with your mare-loving actions." He draws his fist back to punch, but is instead blinded by a flash of light. Blinking his eyes a few times, the armored ruler turns back to a stunned Twilight, scowling deeply as he notices the sparks arcing across her horn. "You missed."

"You'd think that."

Startled, he lets go of the boy and turns to face him, wide-eyed in horror as the kid was replaced by the cloaked man from before, rage filling the hero's expression. "N-no. How did-"

He gets punched in the throat, silencing him and making him gag reflexively. "Quiet. I thought there was a chance to save you." He picks him up by the horns, lifting him in the air with ease. "But you never had any compassion, did you? Anything that would've made you even the slightest bit redeemable." He scoffs quietly. "I don't want to take a life… but with the power you have, being able to withstand so much magic, and how innately insane you are… I don't know if I even have a choice."

"Heh… you think you can kill me?" He grits his teeth, voice rasping, even as the cloaked figure places a hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead and try. My sons will do whatever they can to take over this country. Your actions are meaningless, hero."

As soon as he finishes his sentence, the sound of breaking bones fills his ears, as well as the sound of a magic beam, but he feels nothing but the blackness of the void swallowing him.


"Zero."

Dainn blinks, looking around himself in confusion as a familiar chill flows through his body. The alicorn across from him apparently feels it too, as she stops what she's doing to stare at him and their surroundings, baffled.

"...what?"