• Published 31st Jan 2017
  • 2,052 Views, 212 Comments

One Thousand One Ways to Thwart a King - enigmaMystere



What would happen if ponies were not only prepared for the Caribou, but were able to ask across dimensions for help? Now, what if they were stuck in a time loop?

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A Little Less Conversation...

Princess Celestia bolts upright in her bed, panting heavily. She rests her forehead against her hand, shivering at the memory - the vision - that she had seen. "My poor little ponies..." Her slender fingers trail down to her throat, gingerly rubbing the fur there as her bosom heaves with anxiety. "...there's no way I can allow this to come to pass."

Determination filling her entire being, she rises to her hooves and strides to the archives, ignoring the stunned stares from her staff at how she walked the halls in only her nightwear. The task before her was too pressing to bother with getting dressed or self-consciousness.

That latter thought gives her the briefest of pauses before the door to her private study. Shaking her head, she heads through the opening, closing it behind her as she reaches her desk. She pulls out a book, biting her lip as she flips through it. "...I can only hope she's up to it… and that what you made will work, my old friend." She turns to the parchment on her desk, her horn lighting up to write with her quill.

"My most faithful student…"


Twilight stands in the middle of the Crystal Empire, frowning deeply as she rereads the letter one more time. "...I don't get what turning the heart into a rooster will accomplish… but it's the Princess' orders to keep it from happening." Shrugging, she pulls out a journal with a four leaf clover on the front. "So… the Zero Spell and the Hero Spell? I never heard of those, before…" She opens the book up and pores over its contents. "...ooh, there's a spell in here to find one's true love…"

So distracted is she by the spellbook, she doesn't notice the being stepping up behind her, his golden staff clinking against the ground with every other step. The dark chuckle from his lips causes the purple pony to startle and turn around, her eyes wide in shock as he speaks to her. "Well, if it isn't the newest princess of Equestria."

Twilight's eyes narrow slightly at the pure venom in that one word, then she averts her gaze. "Please put some pants on. And go back to where you came from, please." She blinks, then turns back to look at his head, pointedly ignoring his lower half. "Wait, are you a caribou?"

"Yes. I'm King Dainn, ruler of the caribou, to be exact. And soon to be the King of Equestria, too." He smirks at her. "Not that a bitch like you has to worry herself over that. It'll be-" He suddenly finds himself lacking air.

"I said it once, I'll say it again." Her gaze turns fierce, her hands clenched into fists at her side. "Go back to where you came from. And never call me that again." She lets him go and throws him back with a burst of basic magic.

His hooves dig into the ground, arms folded across his chest. "You call that magic?" His horns light up, and Twilight feels him trying to reach into her mind. His smile widens as he steps toward her. "Now, then, why don't you accept your place at the hooves of males, the ones who should be in charge?"

She just stands there, staring blankly at him. "My mind is protected by a series of magical psychic locks. Brainwashing magic does nothing to me."

He snorts, smirking broadly. "Like that will matter when your whole race turns against you, seeking to turn you into their toy."

"...are you done? I'm going to be late for the party that Pinkie's holding." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a watch, eyeing it disinterestedly.

He just scoffs at her, eyes narrowed in anger. "You know what? I'll give you three free spells. That push you did earlier was your first one. And after you're done, you'll be begging to have some of my-"

"Shut. Up." Legitimately getting annoyed at his attitude, Twilight pulls out the spellbook and starts to concentrate on the first spell Celestia mentioned. "Zero." She feels a warmth pass through her body, followed by a burst of chilling cold. Part of her wondered if she saw the king shivering, but she pushed that thought out of her head for the moment as she focuses on the other spell.

"And now… Hero!"