When Rainbow Dash gets a mystery gift from Princess Twilight, it makes her body undergo...changes. You know the kind I mean. The big blue peener kind.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yespls.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Tradition demands that I leave overly critical reviews on your stories, but that's proving difficult here.
I had originally envisioned the effects as being a lot more subtle, and Rainbow slowly figuring out what was going on over the first few chapters...but let's face it, this way works much better.
Let's hope I keep getting commission slots. I have such lovely plans.
Where is that picture from?
I was just watching EQG and thinking about your stories when I checked the site on a whim and... well... here we are.
7909863 Rainbow Rocks screenshot. The larger pic was Dash being a smug bitch with her guitar, as she is prone to do.
7909867 It's fate!
7909748 Looking forward to writing all those lovely plans!
help
pls
Well, this story certainly didn't fuck around
I mean, I like a lot of what you do here, but the writing is very... "distant" and telly compared to what I've read from you before, and it was difficult not to skim. It's missing physical sensation, and in some places it's missing thoughts, feelings, and other internal narrative that is present in only part of the story. Ultimately, I think this was caused by the POV "zooming out" to cover some of the things going on outside the closet and then never really "zooming back in" enough during the sex scene.
(Also, a touch of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.)
7910214
Unlike the story, however, Rainbow Dash will certainly be fucking around.
You used a line break! Holy shhhhhhh--well... almost a line break. Close enough. That blew my mind.
I laughed out loud multiple times in this story. I imagine you've done this sort of thing so much that it helps to... er... fuck around a bit with the otherwise formulaic structure. In any case, well done, and there couldn't have been a better choice than Pinkie Pie to head up the main action.
And, of course, Rarity's lines are the best. They're always the best in your stories. Well done.
Now if only this story would get enough comments to match its hits, votes, and popular standing within the feature box.
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hehe nice story~
That, sad to say, isn't true. It's the norm, but not everyone is so nice in Equestria. Sorry Flutters
Jeez Lew-eeze!
I like your use of imagery, and the only stylistic complaint I have is that you could afford to split your paragraphs into chunks to avoid wall-of-texting, but I feel as if you've characterized everypony well and effectively capture the emotions/physical components of uhh...your subject matter. This is pretty solid for what it is, but can't honestly say I made it through the first chapter.
I'd give this a 5/10. The score is only so low because the concept is what it is, but you're a good enough writer and it's refreshing to see some competent imagery on this site.
8939800
While I get what you're saying, I don't really take low scores for concept seriously. The work is very clearly tagged as what it is. You're effectively saying something like "I don't like this murder mystery because there's murder in it." See what I mean?
Sorry, just bugs me when I get downvoted based purely on someone not liking the subject material.