• Published 28th Mar 2017
  • 1,018 Views, 26 Comments

Discord's First Prank Day - Dreadnought



April 1st is coming, and Discord wants to make the most of it!

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Tuesday

1:32 PM

“Oh, Rainbow Dash is fine. She’s busy all week training for the Wonderbolts’ new season. She says that this year’s show will be the best ever.” Fluttershy lifted her cup from the saucer and took a sip of tea. She wondered, “Discord, have you ever been to a Wonderbolts’ show?”

“Me? No. Of course, I was a little busy being Celestia’s lawn ornament for a thousand years.”

“I think you’d like it. They do all sorts of dangerous stunts in their shows. They’ll be coming to Ponyville in a few weeks and we're all planning on going. You’re more than welcome to join us.”

“I’ll consider it,” said the draconequus in a disinterested tone.

“Pinkie is just happy that Rainbow Dash will be back on Saturday. She has a special surprise for her,” giggled Fluttershy.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Well, you remember those cookies that turn a pony’s mouth rainbow-colored?”

“You mean when you pretended that everypony was a cookie zombie and scared the living daylights out of Rainbow Dash?” asked Discord, suddenly hanging on every word of Fluttershy’s and bearing a devious grin upon his face.

“Well, Pinkie kept a box hidden all these months. She’s going to slip Rainbow Dash a few cookies when she’s not expecting it.”

“Oh, is that all?” Discord leaned back in his chair, losing interest in the unimaginative exploits of a certain pink pony. He began taking a sip of his tea.

“Well, that’s just one of several things she has planned for Prank Day.”

Pfffffft! Discord spit out his tea. “Did you say ‘Prank Day’?”

Fluttershy, her face and chest dripping with tea, said, “Oh... um... did I?”

Discord snapped his fingers and in an instant half a dozen towels flew in and dried the pegasus off. “Prank Day. That sounds like a lot of fun.” He paused to consider the implications, then turned to Fluttershy. “How come I’m only hearing about this now?”

Fluttershy, suddenly nervous, stammered, “Oh. Um. Well... given that you... um... well... like to... um... spread chaos and take things... a little too far... it was decided... um," Fluttershy cringed, "not to tell you.”

“Not tell me about Prank Day! Not tell the Lord of Chaos about a holiday practically tailor-made for him?” Discord showed a bit of anger, then suddenly became hurt. “Fluttershy, I can’t believe you’d go along with this. I thought we were friends.”

Looking guilty, Fluttershy explained, “I didn’t want to keep it a secret, but the other ponies insisted. Twilight convinced them that we shouldn’t tell you. They think you take things a little too far. Remember the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“That all worked out in the end.”

“Or when we returned from Yakyakistan and found Twilight’s castle a giant board game?”

“Well, that was Guys’ Night.”

“Or when you pretended to be sick and made Princess Cadence and Twilight take care of you?”

“Okay, okay. I get the point. Still though, how could you not tell me about my favorite holiday?”

“Your 'favorite holiday'?” asked Fluttershy, a tiny bit of sarcasm underlining her voice.

“Well once you'd mentioned it, it became my favorite holiday. Ooo, I’ll have to start planning right away. I must come up with a special prank to get back at Twilight.” Fluttershy let out a small gasp, but Discord was too busy thinking to notice. “How did this holiday start by the way?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, I know one pony who would.” Standing up, he said, “I must be off.”

“Dis–.” But before she could finish, the draconequus had already flashed away.

~~~

Princess Twilight Sparkle sat happily reading in her private castle library. In front of her face a brand-new book about magic theory hung in a purple magical aura. Upon her desk lay several piles of brand new books sent by Princess Celestia from the Royal Canterlot Library, all neatly organized by subject. On either side of the desk stood stacks of thick volumes sent by Princess Cadence from the national library of the Crystal Empire.

She read:

…It has been argued for centuries that magic is neither inherently good nor bad. Rather it is in the application and intent of the caster behind the magical spell that determines its legal and ethical implications. However, this argument is predicated on the premise that magical spells are derived in a vacuum. In order to truly evaluate magic’s implications, we must consider the spell’s conception. How was the spell discovered? What was the intent of the creator? What types of magic were used in its inception?

Let us explore these issues in a case study. Consider Starswirl the Bearded’s spell for...

Twilight quickly turned the page, but instead of text she was greeted with an image of Discord. Confused, she looked to see if two pages stuck together, but she had turned precisely one page. She leaned in to determine if pages had been torn from form the book.

“Hello Twilight,” said the image.

“Wha!” Twilight stumbled backwards, dropping the book onto the marble floor. The flat image inflated until half of Discord extended from the page. “Discord! Don’t ever surprise me like that again!”

“Would you prefer I just appear out of thin air?”

“What do you want?”

“Two words: Prank Day.”

Momentarily surprised, she quickly retorted, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I think you do,” insisted the draconequus as he stepped out of the book.

“Fluttershy!” muttered Twilight.

“Oh, don’t be so hard on her. She let it slip out during our Tuesday Tea. Quite frankly I’m surprised she kept it a secret from me for this long.” He paused for a moment. “Now that I think about it, it makes sense why Celestia always has some sort of ” he made air quotes “ ‘Special Mission’ for me every April 1st. Last year I spent a week in Saddle Arabia.”

“You cause enough trouble on normal days. We could only imagine what sort of mayhem you would unleash on the unofficial holiday of Prank Day.”

“But the holiday was practically made for me. The Spirit of Chaos. The Purveyor of Pandemonium. The Lord of Lawlessness. The Earl –”

“The holiday has nothing to do with you.”

Discord deflated to the sound of air escaping from a balloon until he lay as a lifeless heap upon the floor. In an instant he disappeared and suddenly in a flash the library transformed into a college classroom. Discord sat in a row of chairs, pad of paper in hand as he eagerly took down notes. He wore large black-framed glasses upon his face and sported a blue sweatshirt that read “State”. A confused Twilight stood behind a lectern at the front of the class, a mortarboard residing on her head. Discord excitedly raised his hand. “Professor Twilight! Professor Twilight!”

Snapping back to the moment, Twilight responded, “Yes Discord?”

“Can you tell us how Prank Day was founded?” Suddenly another Discord raised his hand, “Can you derive the equation for the perfect Prank Day prank?” A third Discord raised his hand, “Will this be on the final exam?”

“Well, normally I would love to give a long lecture on a historical event. However, specifics on this topic are rather limited.” The Discords all let out a moan. “What the history books tell us is that the holiday originated over a thousand years ago, about a decade prior to Nightmare Moon. While Equestria’s capital lay at the Castle of the Two Sisters, a massive prank was played. Details are rather sketchy, but it seemed to involve cake, the Royal Guard, and a large number of parasprites.”

“Is that all?”

“I’m afraid so.”

The room flashed back to a library. “All these books and that is all you have for the history of Prank Day?”

“Well, it is an unofficial holiday. Ponies generally play pranks on one another and then shout ‘Prank Day!’” Her eyes narrowed. “The pranks are good natured and no one gets hurt. Nopony ever takes things too far.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not a pony,” said the draconequus dismissively.

“Discord!”

“Fine, fine. But I plan on partaking in this delightful holiday of yours. You insisted I learn about friendship, but shouldn’t I explore other aspects of Equestrian culture? You wouldn’t want to deprive me, to condemn me to an eternity of cultural ignorance, would you?” A small, weak Discord stood before Twilight, producing the biggest eyes and poutiest lips he could muster.

“Fine. But use restraint. Ponies aren’t ready for your full-blown chaos.”

Discord lay in a chair, a buzzing sound coming from near his arm as another Discord stood over him wielding some sort of power tool. Finally Discord got up and hovered over Twilight. Pulling up his fur, he revealed a large heart tattoo on his arm that read “Mother.”

“'Mother?'” asked Twilight.

“Oh, wrong one.” He spun around and pulled his fur down, revealing a large tattoo on his flank that read “Restraint.” “By the way Twilight, you’ve just been mooned!” he cackled.

“Dis–!” But before she could finish, the draconequus had already flashed away.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading! See you tomorrow for Chapter 2.

Dreadnought

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