• Member Since 4th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Raw Cringe


burn it down


Comments ( 24 )

I guess you can say this fic is...raw cringe.

Wow, this fic was amazing, deep and complex. I applaud you, Raw Cringe. 10/1
Pls help Cringe kidnapped me and is forcing me to write good reviews of his story

7953377 I guess you can say your kidnapping was...Shameless.

oh damn, i thought this was incomplete. was getting bretty interesting

oh yeah i loved your oldfic btw

7953603

The original ending I was going to see Pinkie talk to another boy and i would get so mad I would punch the universe out of existence

However i thought it would be more surprising not to have a surprise for once, plus it feels nice to write a positive story

7953626
yeah theres nothing wrong with writing a nice story. I think what jarred me is all the character development you gave to pinkie and the world with the whole "barely any christians" thing and with how keen she was to read the bible with someone else. that gives you a lot of territory to explore (this pinkies obviously different from the one we all know, same goes for the world) but the fic sorta just ended

7953520 That doesn't even make sense

I have a crush on Pinkie Pie. Don't laugh.

You don't quite understand reverse psychology, do you?

Well, then. I admit, I was a bit turned off by the religion thing, *also, making Pinkie religious, interesting* however, it is an interesting one

7954214

no one with over 200 followers is allowed to have an opinion on my stories

get the fuck out normie

7954332 i assure you I am far from normal, my good sir or madam. Also, I thought the story was alright, but since the opinion doesn't matter...well, just stick a rod up my backside until it brushes against my teeth, right?

well... it's different and not that bad of a start. I will just say, one of the last paragraphs, the dialogue between pinkie and RC was in one. When someone else starts talking, it's time to start a new paragraph. And Pinkie being catholic...interesting premise. Can't wait to see how this turns out.

7956701

The story's already complete, man. =/ Kind of a low key ending I know.

I know about "new speaker new paragraph" I was just doing a little experiment with that one paragraph. Thanks for looking out for me though.

Woah, my dude, how many levels of irony are you on?

7956744

I have lost the count years ago

So, you wanted a review for “Crush on Pinkie” in exchange for a review on my own story. Sorry I didn’t get onto it sooner, I’ve been so damn busy!

Anyway, I must say, for someone with seemingly so much knowledge of writing I have to wonder how much effort you put into your stories—and not just this one, but most of them. They seem somewhat rushed sometimes, at least in some aspects. Either way, compared to the incredible quality of the review, the story seems as if it could do with an editor/prereader in places, such as the lack of a capital in the chapter title and the changing tenses now and then and the misuse—or lack—of commas. If this is a favourite story of yours, I figured you’d want to know.

Anyway, my opinion of this story. I genuinely liked the idea of having the main character be a christian and attend a “nice godly Catholic middle school”, as it was described. The imagery with the devils was actually quite clear and for that I applaud you, and this was continued throughout the tale. Everything was perfectly easy to imagine in my mind’s eye.

Furthermore, the childish crush on Pinkie also seemed well written to me, and the way it rambled on only helped to convey the character’s sudden, overwhelming and confusing adoration for her. It was weird and much too fast, and yet it came across not sloppy but amusingly… well, cringeworthy. Having Pinkie also be a christian at the end was also a nice and genuinely unexpected touch, and I actually can imagine her family being christians so kudos for also sticking to potential canon facts, as opposed to delving deep into the unbelievable.

So, overall, this was cringe-worthily interesting.

S E X I S M

The actual frightening aspect here is the number of people who just thought "oh look a cute innocent story about a nice Christian!" judging by the number of upvotes.

Jesus I pray to thee, save them all for they will not save themselves. Just drop me the code for a friendly AI, and I'll do the rest.

8089084

You seem to think of sexism as some big bogeyman. Actually sexism is part of sexuality. I imagine you think we should all reproduce like AI too, without any emotion, or at least no emotion that wouldn't equally have for men as well as women, huh...

"I'm sapiosexual" -- my caricature of you

8089098

Actually sexism is part of sexuality.

No.

8089106

Sorry, I'm sexism-sexual... I get off on objectifying women...

Oh wait that's just called being sexual.

See what I mean?

8089116
Yes, I see what you mean. I'm not actually going to discuss this, though. One of the nice things about your stories is that they are short and quick reads. Having an legitimate debate about sexism with you would be pushing time down the drain for a cause that is as hopeless as hoping for Jesus to do anything.

8089121

Ha ha ha! That's what I love about you. A real consistent utilitarian is a rare breed! :heart:

Login or register to comment