• Member Since 27th Aug, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday

CAPTAIN YOSHI HD


E

Button Mash's mom was having a hard time, so he decides to affect her with happiness by nose bopping, belly rubbing, hoof massaging, belly tickling, ear scratching, mane stroking, and chin stroking.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

A little too much show instead of tell. A mistake I'm way too familiar with making.

Try to fix it up a little bit. Might even end up doubling your word count

Are you like Ectivus

Is this a parody of Evictus the troll?

again there has to be some form of depth to your stories, not just "thing happens - the end" which in fairness can be done well but not like this

Comment posted by metroid_freak deleted Apr 16th, 2017

8098847 don't call him a troll.

Comment posted by metroid_freak deleted Apr 16th, 2017
Comment posted by TheEvilCookie deleted May 24th, 2017

8098818 I'm going to improve

shite Ectivus is here. *hides behind couch*

8111412 Thats right I'm here!

8115974 hisssssssssssssssssssss *eyes glow red*

8117752 Are you a snake or something!?

8117776 *-* that's for u to decide...

8118164 can everybody knock it off already?

8118164 Your trying to be a snake?

8118262 you know what, none of you should be argumental on the internet, neither one of you.

8118265 Dang man.....your right

Comment posted by TheEvilCookie deleted Apr 25th, 2017

8118262 I didn't say u were a snake. IM DA SNAKE XDD

8119140 Oh your trying to scare me off by being a snake is that it? :ajbemused:

8119244 I'm just messing around :/

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