Just a Walk in Equestria (JaWiE), Volume 1

by Warden of Monsters

Swarm of the Century

It's been two days since Savanna arrived in Equestria, and I'm glad she's had the time to adjust. Since then I've written to Princess Luna about her, and the princess of the night is interested to meet her. Plus she reminded me in her last letter my ring needs recharging soon. So after arranging an appointment we agreed it was time to bring Savanna to Canterlot for a short visit.

I wonder how she'll take to meeting the princesses...

You said she was fond of equines?

Well... Yeah, back on earth horses are basically big pets, and she raises them for shows at festivities... Luckily she's smart enough not to talk about it in present company, she always said was fond of her Gelding.

Her what?!

I decide to drop the subject as I look around, occupying myself with the surroundings of the train station while I wait for Savanna. A sharp whistle gets my attention as she trots up.

"Phew! I made it, I'm good...Ish..."

I smile, and adjust my bag as I lead the way onto the station. "Train leaves in five minutes, so let's get comfortable. How's life living with the Doc?"

"It's...Interesting to say. But we're making progress so that's good." She rubs her eyes and yawns.

"You guys get started on the Batmobile yet?" I chuckle as we take our seers across from each other.

"Hey, I'm still a student, honestly I'm winging it right now."

I laugh a bit more before I stare out the window where the barest hint of Orange is starting on the horizon. "...I won't lie Sav, being here... It's paradise to me. The good, the bad... I've already decided a lot of things, I can see where my life is headed. To take part in the Running of the Leaves this autumn, doing my part in Winter Wrap-Up, and plans to handle threats still months off... The only thing I can't decide is what to wear for Nightmare Night."

I turn my attention back to Savanna, "For the first time Sav... I actually feel like I'm living. Like I matter."

She smiles, "Hey, that's good...And even if you feel like you don't matter, you'll always matter to me."

I chuckle, and a bit skeptically I say, "Right... But hey, look where we are now? Basically in terms of Earth we're on our way to the White House to meet the commander in chief."

She gives me what she calls a "bitch face," something I assume anyone who saw Supernatural might get. "What? You don't think I care?"

"I think you do," I reply. "But I know how the song, and dance goes... Eventually everyone leaves. After all, we only met face to face a few days ago, so we're basically still strangers. So why should you care? Because it's the nice thing to do?"

"Yeah? Well I change the song and change the dance. We've been talking for 4 years and you're a big part in doing what I love. And not because 'it's the right thing to do'." She says seriously, "I pick and choose the people I keep close and you're one of them."

"I said nice thing, not right thing," I deadpan. "Sav, let me put it this way... If we go to see the princesses, and they found a one-time only chance to send you home would you take it? I doubt this land means as much to you as it does to me. Is the lure of possible power armor, and my company really worth more than everything else in your life?"

"Yeah, actually. I have plently of reappearing opportunities back home. Being here? Thats only one time, and true, this place may not be my cup of tea, but I don't want to see it hurt or harmed, and I'll help in any way that I can."

I sigh heavily through my nose, "So easy to give the 'right' answer... I'm not pretending though, not to myself, or anyone. I hate our world, our species, and being here was a fantasy of mine long before the cave-in that brought me here. The only constant in my life is eventually I'm on my own against the world."

I trace a fingertip on the rim of the window as I continue, "Don't get me wrong Sav, I'm tickled pink you're here, and it makes me happy... I just don't expect it to last. For the right, or wrong reasons everyone leaves me eventually. You can say you won't all you want, but only time will tell... Right when I get my hopes up that the song, and dance have changed after all."

She doesn't say anything else, she just tilts her head back to rest it against the wall and crosses her arms.

I close my eyes, "Sorry... You didn't deserve that, I just got into one of my down moods." I slip on a smile as I say, "While we're here you'll get to meet the other Watchers. I sent a letter ahead the night you arrived so Minuet should have something special for you."

"Oh, He doesn't need to have anything with me, I'm good."

"She," I reply. "Before Season 5 the fans called her Colgate because her mane is colored the same as the toothpaste when you squeezed it out of the tube. You know, white with blue streaks? She's a light blue unicorn with the same Cutie Mark as Doc. Like him she tinkers with inventions, but while an earth pony like Doc is a master of mechanics, Minuet has a deeper understanding of bonding magic to them. She's the brain-case for our Canterlot division."

"Sweet."

I nod, "We're lucky to have them both. I doubt we'll see them until after our meeting with the Princesses though. After all it's not even sunrise yet."

"Then it's too damn early, I didn't sleep last night." She bitterly lays down in her seat and turns so her back's to me to cuddle into the seat. "Excuse me while I die."

I snicker, and leave her be for the rest of the ride. When we arrive in Canterlot station though I slip off my ring, and pick her up. I love how this time thing makes almost everything weightless to me, it'd be a pain carrying around 100+ pounds for hours.

That's not a crack at her weight, that's just how much I've noticed the average person weigh around adulthood.

So I carry her around bridal style as I stroll the streets of Canterlot, trying to find my way closer to the castle. I've never actually been to this city before so it's a bit of an adventure. Eventually I find the way though, and set her down in some grass before putting my ring back on.

She groans and curls up.

"Nope, not today..." I pick a blade of grass, and tickle her nose. "Come on Sav, there's a reason we came this early. Trust me."

"Yeah..." she groans again and cracks her eyes as she stretches. "...Why am I on grass...? Nevermind..."

I help her up, and turn her towards the castle. A couple of guards stand at the gate, but let us pass as I lead her into the marble fortress.

"It's so shiney. And thats saying something cuz I wax silver cars."

I chuckle, and pat her back. "Oh just you wait..."

The inside of the castle is amazing. The long red rug stretching up across the room, and a flight is stairs the branches off to either direction after it hits a landing. A massive stained glass window decorates the far wall, and hanging pots of flowers decorate the room along with torches.

But my eyes are focused on the sole occupant waiting for us... Princess Celestia herself, coming down the steps. I can never look at this six foot equine, and think of her as anything less than a full blown horse with her fur as white as pure Ivory. Her magenta eyes focus on us as a gentle smile graces her lips. I can only imagine how Savanna is taking in seeing the princess of the sun for the first time, her wings tucked comfortably at her sides, and her mane flowing in a phantom wind with its hues of pink, light blue, soft green, and indigo. Her tail matches the flow, both sparkling faintly, and her golden-dressed hooves make soft thuds as she approaches. Not for the first time I wonder what the purple gems in her regalia around her neck, and in her crown are. Questions for another time.

Celestia stops a few feet away, and takes a slow nod. "Hello again Harley, it has been some time. This must be the new human who arrived?" She turns her gaze on Savanna.

Even her voice is motherly...

Savanna smiles with a polite bow. "Yes ma'am."

Celestia turns, offering a view of the sun on her rump as she head back for the stairs gracefully. "Please, come with me."

I furrow my eyebrows as I follow, "Is... Is Luna okay?"

Celestia's smile slips a bit, but not completely. "Yes, she still is in recovery from the work the Elements of Harmony did to her, but she is quite well. Ever since she became the patron of your group she has been a bit happier to be doing something for our subjects."

"Well that's good..."

Celestia turns her attention to Savanna, "How are you liking Equestria so far?"

"It's cute, peaceful."

Celestia sighs softly, "It hasn't been easy... A thousand years of harmony, and then you both arrive to warn me it's coming to an end."

"It's not," I correct. "It's just going to become a bit harder to fight for."

"And I'm sure whatever it is, we can handle it," Savanna adds to back me up.

Celestia gives us a smile as we walk bast more stained glass windows, and the occasional statue. We walk until we get to a balconey.

There I see Luna, and smile. She's a bit bigger now, tall enough to look Savanna in the eye. Her mane, and tail hasn't become the starry night flowing in a ethral wind yet, but her longer baby blue locks are sparkling in the moonlight. Her twilight blue complexion is darkening up which is nice too, and I swear my heart squeezes a bit when she turns to us with a smile.

"Awe, cute!" She squeals quietly and does a little shimmy dance.

Luna blinks her cyan blue eyes at her, "Is... Is she alright?"

"Yes," I nod, and then blink as I bow quickly, forgetting Luna is a bit more traditional than her sister. Reaching up I grip the back of Savanna's head to pull her down too, making Celestia giggle softly.

Luna smiles, and stands, walking over, "You may rise, we are pleased to see you both."

"Thank you," Sav replies politely.

I fidget a little, and fold my hands behind my back. "Princess... It's good to see you're well..."

Luna leans to the side to look around me, "Your ring?"

I clear my throat as I hold my hand out to her. She closes her eyes as her horn lights up an aura of light matching her eyes. Then she leans in, touching her horn to the ring, and making it glow. A minute passes, and she steps back with a pleasant smile.

"...So uh, that thing works like the Green Lantern ring?" Savanna tilts her head, leaning in for a closer look.

The princesses look at her curiously, and Luna replies, "The ring is a weakened version of ones used to incapacitate unicorn criminals. It will allow him to use the magic I gave him to be managed in the normal ways, and suppresses it from going rampant as it does when the curse takes effect."

"From what we can gather your kind is not meant to have magic in your bodies," Celestia adds in. "But when he lost the powers he took on the Summer Sun Celebration his body started to fail... We believe Harley's body is dependent on it to survive now."

I smile awkwardly, and give Savanna a small shrug. "...Probably couldn't go back to earth if I wanted to now."

She pinches the beige of her nose and shakes her head. "GG Wolf GG..."

Luna raises an eyebrow at me, "Is she speaking a different language?"

"Internet lingo," I respond. "Basically saying 'great work there... Really great work...' But all things considered I think this worked out pretty well Sav."

Celestia leans towards me, "And why does she call you a wolf?"

"It was my pen-name," I inform her. "Hers was Star Splice."

Luna takes interest in that, and walks a slow circle around Savanna, "I see... And like you she knows of future events?"

"Sort of...From what I remember...Ish..."

"She wasn't as big a fan as me," I say, coming to her rescue. "But she's got skills, and knowledge about human tech that I'm clueless about."

Celestia's expression becomes more serious, "I must warn you, whatever you create is for the exclusive use of your group. Things are peaceful now, but if a technological evolution sweeps across the lands then it will disrupt the peace."

Well there goes my dreams of having a Harley Davidson...

"Yeah, I know. Doc already gave me the talk."

Celestia nods, and leaves it at that. I decide to change the subject as I check the time on my phone, "Well... It's about that time ladies. Hey Sav, how do you like a front row seat to the sunrise?"

"Sure, sounds great."

At that I give the princesses a smile. Luna walks to the balcony railing, and puts her front hooves on the banister as she stares at the moon. Then she lights up her horn as she furrows her eyebrows. The moon shakes in the sky before it slowly starts to drift for the horizon.

As it touches the edge of the landscape Celestia spreads her wings majestically, and her horn ignites in a golden aura that rolls off her horn like gentle flame. At the same time the sun peeks over the far hills, and mountains, gracing us with the first rays of daytime. In under a minute the two celestial bodies have traded places, and as the sun starts to creep upwards the royal sisters extinguish their magic.

Luna is breathing a little heavier while Celestia looks unfazed, which only shows that Luna has a bit of recovery left before she retains her full power. Celestia steps up beside her younger sister, draping a wing across her shoulders as she nuzzles the top of her head.

"Wow... Now that was pretty dank."

Okay, even I give her a weird look at that one. But to save dignity I translate, "She means pretty cool... In our world we have a pretty dark vocabulary."

Luna offers a small smile with her ears slightly drooped. "Well, the compliment is well received."

Celestia nods, "Yes, thank you... I wish we could entertain guests longer, but Luna needs her sleep. I have a full morning schedule before my visit with Twilight later today."

I blink a few times, "...Really now?" I grin, and chuckle to myself, "And I take it you wrote ahead to Twilight about it?"

She gives me a curious look, "Of course... Why?"

I grin at Savanna, "I feel an Episode coming on! We should get back to Ponyville before folks start waking up."

"I can arrange for my guards to take you home," Luna says with a yawn into a hoof.

"Oh goodie," I rub my hands together. "I haven't flown by sky chariot before! Let alone by bat-ponies!"

"Thestrals," Luna corrects me tiredly.

Sav asks, "How the heck do the the chariots not fall- nevermind, probably some sort of magic..."

"I actually have no idea," I laugh.

"Remind me to ask. Cuz that's gonna bother me for the rest of the day."

"Right, oh! Speaking of reminders we still need to stop by Minuet before we go back. Your Highnesses..." I bow to the princesses who nod back then turn to hurry for the castle gates, fishing around in my pockets for my little notebook where I wrote down Minuet's address.

Sav also gives a quick bow and trots after me.

"It must be nice to actually have pockets... Girl pockets are the worst." She sticks her hand in one, well, half her hand before the pocket ends.

"RWBY reference for the win," I mutter. "Speaking of, you got tracks by Jeff Williams on your phone?"

"Hell yeah I do! ...But the Doc still has it."

"He should be done with it by noon," I reply as we hit the street. "I have to introduce you to Vinyl Scratch. She's one of the biggest names in music, right up there with Sapphire Shores, and Countess Coloratura."

"Corny names..."

"Great characters though," I inform her. "Sapphire Shores is all about pop, and The Countess... Eh... Basically Lady Gaga, but she's fillyhood friends with Applejack, nice lady."

"Lady Gaga's pretty cool... She's got my approval."

"If you say so," I shrug as I find my notebook, and start flipping through it. "Does the name 'Amy Keen Rogers' mean anything to you? Not sure if I'm pronouncing that right..."

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

"Oh well," I shrug again while I focus on my book. Then I smile when I find the page I'm looking for, and speed us to Minuet's abode. A multi-story building with the picture of an hourglass over the door.

"Jee. Hope this is the place," She says sarcastically with a grin and knocks on the door.

Suddenly it's thrown open, and the blue unicorn with a Colgate mane I described on the train smiles up at us. "Hey there! Oh, you must be Sav!"

She grabs is both with her magic, and pulls us inside, all but tossing us into chairs as she gallops to a back room. I eye a nearby trashcan filled to overflowing with at least 30 takeout coffee cups, and slowly turn my head to Savanna with a worried look.

She has a wide eyed look before of fades. "Jesus, good thing Monster and Kickstart don't exist in this universe..."

"Don't jinx it," I mutter softly. "Oh man... A mad scientist with no sleep...?"

"I wonder what could go wrong..." she sighs and slides down in her chair.

Suddenly Minuet charges back into the room talking at top speed. In the air beside her floats a moderately sized briefcase which she throws at me, knocking me out of my chair. Then while I nurse my aching chest, and sore head she puts her front hooves in Savanna's lap, wagging her tail.

"Here you go, just as you asked! Applying magic to technology requires crystals though, gems of many different sorts, and I can't pull in all I need at one time without drawing attention so this is what I could make with the stock I have at hoof! The more advanced projects will take time, money, and lots of trial and error! But my project folder has never been this full before! ThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouTHANK-! Zzzzzzzzzzzz..."

I stare at her in amusement as she passes out in Savanna's lap, snoring quietly, and neighing adorably with every exhale.

"You're...Welcome...?" She blinks and gently pats the pony on the head awkwardly.

I stand, and set the briefcase aside. With a smile I softly lift up the little unicorn, and carry her to bed, tucking her in. When I get back to Savanna I nod to the briefcase.

"I sent her drawings of stuff I thought you'd be most comfortable using. That incident in the Everfree was all the proof I needed to know you needed some way to protect yourself... No guns though, they're insanely illegal in Equestria. Which is gonna be a royal bitch when Chrysalis invades a few seasons from now."

"Shame, I'm actually decent at shooting."

"Yeah, I asked Doc, he's working on building that gas-propelled crossbow from Van Helsing, figured that's the closest we can get to a legal firearm. The stuff in that case should do for you for now."

"Cool stuff, thank you."

I raise an eyebrow, "...You're not even going to look? I was looking forward to your reaction..."

"Huh? Oh! Sorry! Usually when someone gives me a briefcase it's locked." She laughs before she sets it on a chair and pops it open.

I know what she should expect to find inside. A pair of sunglasses, some armored gauntlets similar to my own though on sight very different, and one very unique item... Something any fan of the Halo franchise would would recognize on sight, and probably be frothing at the mouth to own a functioning model instead of a metal replica.

"Like that one Christmas, huh?" I smile as I study her face for a reaction.

"Hoooolllyyyyy fuck! You did not!" She squeals happily and crushes me in a hug as she kisses his cheek. She then grabs the case and bolts outside to test it.

Okay, that was more or less what I expected. Yay!

I hurry after her with a smile, "Glad you like it. And yeah, it's a plasma sword. Most stunning spells are colored red so we were able to give it the look of the Infected model. It won't kill, but it'll put anything at least five times larger than a pony down with a nasty hangover. Manticores, Chimeras, Cockatrices, Timberwolves, and smaller dragons included. Bigger stuff like Hydras though it'll just hurt."

I look in the case, and pull out a small booklet, "And Minuet gave you an instruction manual for all the gear, neat. Looks like she managed to house that shield spell in the gauntlets like I asked... Both need time to recharge after extended use though. The glasses should compliment your mentality for shooter games. I mentioned a system from the Fallout Equestria fanfics in my letters describing the EFS, or Eyes Forward Sparkle. Uses pheromones to locate other creatures within range of your vision, and determine if they're a threat."

Looking up from the booklet I ask, "Well? Think you can use this stuff, or is there other stuff you need on hand?"

"Fuck yeah I can use this. I'll let you know if I need anything else." She flings out her hand to activate said sword.

The red blade springs perfectly to life, looking just like the object of its inspiration. Occasionally a tiny bolt of energy will spring from between blades.

I leave her to it as I pull what I assume to be the holster for the handle out of the briefcase, and look the strap over. It confuses me a moment, being much too short to fit around the waist. Then it hits me, and I laugh quietly.

"What are you laughing at?" She raises a brow, and stops in mid swish to look at me.

I hold up my find, "She made you an arm sheathe for it. Makes sense, I mean Ponies usually pull a sword from their back, or shoulder instead of the hip like we usually do." I look over the clamp for the handle on the strap before putting it on Savanna's left bicep.

"Well, it works I guess." She deactivates the sword and puts it in the sheathe.

"Right, now according to the booklet all you do to activate the shield in your gauntlet is slide two fingers down the side of it."

"Simple enough..." she takes a couple steps back from him and slides two fingers down her left gauntlet.

From it springs a bright blue shield just like the one from Halo 4. Plenty to cover one side of her body, and judging from the way it skid a rock in my direction it's perfectly solid.

"Oh look, I'm Felix Mcfuckface!" She laughs before she drops it.

Who?

A jerk mercenary from another show we enjoyed called Red vs Blue.

"Well it's the basics, but if you think it's all you need for now then alright. We won't be doing much fighting today anyhow. If my hunch is correct... Come on, we better get that chariot to Ponyville, I need to check Sugarcube Corner."

"Lead the way." She says and rolls her shoulders.

I speed us back to the castle where a pair of guards escort us to our chariot. The bat ponies do look a bit scary in person with their bat wings, slitted gold eyes, and dark blue color scheme. The black armor doesn't help much to make them look friendly either.

She doesn't seem intimidated, walking right up to one of the guards, "Excuse me? May I ask a question?"

"Of course," one of the guards replies, his voice pretty deep for a creature so small.

"How do these things stay in the air?"

"Pegasi, our cousin race, have the ability to manipulate the weather," the thestral replies. "As we fly we guide the wind under what we are pulling. Plus Pegasus magic, and thereby Thestral magic, makes us almost weightless while airborne, which also affects what we are pulling."

"Ah...Cool to know." She says and climbs into the chariot.

I follow, and grip the front of it with both hands, "Oh boy... Why aren't there any seatbelts?"

"Cuz that takes all the fun out of it... Wait, are you afraid heights Harley?"

"Nope," I reply as the ponies spread their wings. "I'm afraid of falling..."

"Oh come on, at this height you'll hit terminal velocity." She stands in her seat and looks over the edge with a wild eyed look. "My god this beautiful!"

"That just means I can't fall any faster, and will most certainly die," I reply, my knuckles white from the pressure of gripping the chariot. I'll admit they are some rather gentle fliers, the chariot doesn't even rock as they fly us out of the city, and towards the sunrise.

"Actually, TV is when the air that's pushing you is slower then the air going against you, so it slows you down. See? Payin attention in physics pays off." She says as see leans on the railing, sighing contently.

"You're still gonna hit the ground going hundreds of miles an hour," I reply. "And it doesn't slow you down, it just stops your rate of acceleration. Totally different."

"Well then either my teach was wrong, or you're wrong." She shrugs. "Either way, this would be a pretty sick way to die."

"Right, sick as in if you say that again I swear on Celestia's bushy moustache I will throw up on you..."

She waves me off. "Don't be such a worry wort. Common, stand up with me." She encourages and puts her arms out.

"I'm perfectly happy where I am, thanks," I mutter, and sink into a crouch, still gripping the chariot.

Then I feel is starting to descend, and sigh in relief. We must be getting close to Ponyville.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, but you don't what you're missing..." She sits back down and pulls her hair out of her hoodie... But immediately regrets that decision when it whips into her eyes. "Ow fuck!"

I snicker, and the chariot comes to a smooth landing. Quickly I step backwards off of it, and sigh in relief. Then I nod to Luna's guards, "Thanks for the lift."

"Yeah, it was fun!"

The guards nod, and then fly off. I dust myself off, and think out loud, "Right... Okay then..."

"So to that...Whatever its called street then?" She asks and fluffs up her hair.

"Sugarcube Corner, and it's the name of the resident bakery," I inform her. "Seriously, two days holed up with The Doctor? Not healthy..."

"Well, I can't help it, when I start working I can't stop. Especially when it's something I love."

"I can relate..." I furrow my eyebrows as I look around. "...Hold the phone. The day before Celestia's visit ponies were putting up all sorts of decorations. Banisters, balloons... A banner... There's nothing."

I walk briskly down the street towards Sugarcube Corner, the tall three-story building looking like it's made of sweets. I run around to the back window, and peek in at the kitchen. "Nothing... No sweets, or mess. The Cakes were putting together a big banquet at the start of this episode..."

"Okay, that's fishy...Also, were is everybod- I mean everypony?"

"Early morning," I remind her. "Probably just getting their days started... We should probably stick around here, see what's what when the Cakes open shop. Celestia said she was visiting today, but she could have gotten her schedule confused. Even she's not perfect."

"It happens... Man, really wish I had my phone, have tunes to get me motivated..." she yawns again and stretches.

I pull mine out, "Too bad Pandora doesn't work here... But feel free to shuffle my iTunes." I toss it to her as I go around to sit on the front steps of the bakery.

"Sweet, thanks." She pulls out a pair of ear buds and plugs them into the jack, shuffling though the tunes.

I sigh to myself, and look up sharply as Bonbon trots up to us. "Hey," I say. "How was your trip?"

"Another bust," she replies. "We can scratch Vanhoover off the list too now... Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus... None of my connections can find the Manifest."

I rub my face, "Great... Maybe it's hiding somehow? In some way we haven't thought of?"

"What is you're looking for?"

I look up at Sav, "Well, that power I lost? It didn't just vanish into thin air. It's its own entity, and it bonds with ponies, enhancing their magic. But at the same time it corrupts them, and grows stronger the more they use it until the host eventually dies. When I lost it then it went missing."

"So it goes after ponies with magic, and most likely weak ones so it'll grow? What's some of the smaller towns that are off the map?"

Bonbon taps her chin, "None we haven't checked yet... Ponies with weak magic... That might be where we went wrong. In our search we've been investigating claims of extraordinary magical abilities."

I slowly stand, hands in my pockets, "Best I can think of that would be weak in magic would be kids, the foals who haven't learned to tap their magic yet. It's the only way we haven't seen signs of it yet."

"Unless somepony else captured it," Bonbon comments. "Exactly how though is beyond me."

"Well let's check those places first before we get ahead of our selves."

"We can't," I say. "This episode Bonbon, and a few of our members are present to act in the background... We can investigate Ponyville again, but for the next two days that's it."

Bonbon looks up at Savanna, "I don't think we got a chance to meet..."

I groan, "Savanna, this is Bonbon, former special agent to a monster hunting agency in Canterlot. She's here undercover, has been for a while."

She sighs and hangs her head. "Great...Just when I thought I was making myself useful..."

Bonbon gives her a flat look, "Hey, you listen here. I might be the most experienced of the Watchers, but I've seen enough to trust Harley's judgement calls. If you're involved in our business, then you're useful."

"If you say so,"she says bitterly and crosses her arms

Oh shit, these two are cut from the same cloth!

I step in before Bonbon can retort. "Okay, wow... Look, it's early, there's lots to do. I suggest we get started. If the Manifest hasn't... well... manifested yet then I think we're in the clear for another day or two. So for now we just go about as normal. Sav will stay with me, Bonbon you know your job."

Bonbon raises her eyebrows, not quite used to me taking charge like this. But then she nods, and trots off. With a roll of my eyes I face Savanna, "What was that?"

"What was what," She asks sassily

"You're not cute right now, and I'm serious. So Bonbon's kicked her share of real-life ass, so what about about that made something crawl up yours to die?"

"Nothing! I was serious when I said I haven't been useful. All I've done is follow you, ask questions, build a thing that probably won't even work and then just ask more questions because I have no fucking clue what the hell I'm doing, or what's going on half the time."

I smirk, "Oh yeah? Well then if you don't mind spoilers I can tell you how this episode ends, and you can help me take precautions. There won't really be much a chance to use your sword this season, but you're far from useless Sav."

"Fine Mr. Speed Racer," She grumps

I shake my head with a smile, "Alright... The town gets mostly destroyed, and most the food eaten."

"Sounds like my sister when she's menstruating." She says seriously as she stares at the ground, then looks up at me.

"And it needs to happen... Both the town, and your sister wherever she is. Our job is just to pick up the pieces, and minimize damage to the populace. I have a plan, but I need you to run an... errand if you're up to the task. Or I could do it, less chance of me getting caught. Either way, one of us needs to get the blueprints for pretty much every building in town, and the construction records."

"I can do it. I sneak and pickpocket for fun." She holds up my little note book with two fingers.

I blink, and pat my pockets, "When did...? You know what, nevermind, good enough for me. Just get those documents to Doc's house, someplace safe... Meaning where Derpy won't destroy them on accident."

"Mission is a go Cap." She hands me my notebook back, and stretches her arms and legs.

"Alright, the light is green," I chuckle.

-----

The next few hours are very peaceful, at least as peaceful as a town busily preparing to be graced by royalty can get. I help the Cakes as much as I can, keeping an eye out for events around me. I'm watching the kids in town especially close today, looking for any glowing green eyes, or something. So far... Nothing.

That is until Savanna walks though the door, a large leather tube in on her back.

"Yo dude! I got them all with out a hitch!"

My eyes bulge, and I glance at the Cakes who are busy setting out pasteries. Then I walk quickly over to her, and mutter, "Doc's house? Remember? You know what, Nevermind, I'll hold on to them."

"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know my way back from there, and calm down, I have a cover story for them."

"Really? Mayor Mare is kind of... Well, I don't want to be rude so I won't say 'senile,' but I doubt she would have questioned it if these went missing today, and appeared back where you got them two days from now. So... Just curious, what's the cover story?"

"They're mine amd Doc's prints for our 'arrival' at the ball thing... What was it called? Spring ball?"

"Grand Galloping Gala," I reply. "And by 'prints' I assume you mean blueprints for our chopper? Because seriously, a helicopter in Equestria would even put the sky chariots to shame."

"Yeah, that we still haven't..." trails off then widens her eyes. She suddenly grips my shoulder and shakes me. "Harley! I figured it out! The chopper! Wing! Science! I need to go back to Docs right the fuck now and tell him!"

"Whoa! Whoa!" I grab her wrists, "Hold on girl, I just need to be sure of something, then we can go."

Twilight decides to drop in at that point, "Hello Mr, and Mrs Cake! How's the food coming along?"

The pudgy blue earth pony with hair stacked like generous portions of icing smiles awkwardly, "It's coming along great, Dearie... Or it-it would be if..."

She looks over to a long table of deserts... Most of which are partially eaten. Saves for one cake on the end of the table sporting a crown decoration on top. But then Pinkie Pie attacks it from behind, eating it in just a few bites, leaving only chocolate mush. She looks up at us with the crown decoration now sitting on her head, and her face covered in so much chocolate cake it looks like she's sporting a thick beard, which she quickly leans off with a swirl of her tongue.

"Pinkie!" Twilight hurries over in distress, "Those deserts were for the princess!"

"I-I know," Pinkie says with a smile. "I was just tasting them to make sure these delicious deserts are fit to gouge the Royal tongue!" She emphasizes her point by sticking out her tongue which is still partially smeared with icing, and tapping it with a hoof as she talks, making Twilight recoil a bit in disgust.

"Well that's a dick move." Sav says bluntly

"And I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king! Or a queen! Or a princess!" She stands with her hooves on the counter, mouth opened to take a bite of the lasts cake with Twilight giving her a "don't you dare" look.

Then the soft voice of Fluttershy calls in, "Twilight! Pinkie! You won't believe what I-!" She skids to a stop just inside the door, and hides behind her mane a little. "Oh... I'm sorry for barging in... Am I interrupting?

"Not at all," Pinkie declares, then she sticks out her tongue, scooping the entire cake before her up, and swallowing it in one bite.

"Uh, so like, this is a thing we let happen or...?" she whispers to me.

I nod, "Yeah, totally fine."

Twilight shoots Pinkie a dirty look before turning to Fluttershy, "So what's up?"

"Oh, you'll never believe what I found out by the Everfree Forest!" She looks into her mane, "Come one out little guy..."

A soft bubbling sound comes from her mane before out hops a tiny creature the size of a golf ball. It's basically a ball on four tiny legs, pixie wings, and big eyes over a tiny mouth. Overall the little blue creature looks adorable... Then out hops a yellow one, then a brown one.

Fluttershy blinks, "Three?"

Twilight gasps softly as she comes over, "Wow, what are these little guys?"

"I don't know," Fluttershy replies. "And more importantly, I don't know where these other two came from. I only had one a minute ago."

"Well I'll gladly take one off your hooves," Twilight says as she lets the yellow one land on her upturned hoof. "It'll be nice for Spike to have a companion to play with while I'm busy... Plus they're just so cute! Pinkie, you want the other one?"

Pinkie makes a disgusted face, "Ugh, a Parasprite?! No thanks!" As she trots by her friends towards the door they give her confused looks.

"'Ugh?'"

"Para-what?" Twilight tilts her head at Pinkie, "But how can you not-?"

"Do either of you know what this means?" Pinkie turns in the doorway to frown at them, "Now I have to go find a trombone!"

Fluttershy furrows her eyebrows, "A trombone?"

"Yeah, you know..." Pinkie sits on the floor for a second before she mimics playing a trombone, and then hops out the door.

Twilight sighs, and shakes her head as she looks up at the ceiling. "Typical Pinkie..."

"Oh! I remember, I saw this episode!" She whispers to me. "Those things like, multiply like rabbits right?"

"Basically. Think the movie 'Gremlins,' only they multiply just by eating," I whisper back. "So yeah, since nothing's happening until tomorrow let's go visit Doc."

"Way ahead of ya. "

And so we head out, and head for the lab. All the while I wonder what got Savanna all worked up.

She taps her foot in anxiousness each time we stop and drums her fingers.

When we get there Doc is just coming out. He smiles as he trots up to us, "Ah, Savanna, just who I wanted to see! I finished with your phone, it's all assembled again on the coffee table along with the charger I built for it. Solar of course..."

"Hoorah. Thanks Doc!" She slides inside and sets the tube down. "Oh! BTW, imma warn you now, don't bother me tonight, cuz I will be on a fuckin roll with the thing." She points to her space with all her papers. "And I will be a bitch will a heaping side of jerk."

Doc looks mildly disturbed, "Noted..."

"Just make sure you get your rest of you'll end up like Minuet," I warn her.

She laughs, "Wolf, have you ever met an actual Mechanic student? We don't sleep, like ever. Only after we work for 7 hours straight or when we're under out projects."

I don't really have anything to counter that, in truth I haven't met any mechanic students. So I just silently nod to her, and take a seat. "So what are you working on?"

"Our kickass entrance to that ball."

I want to ask for specifics, but I shrug off the details. So I hang around for a bit to keep them company, then after about an hour I decide to head home to prepare for tomorrow, taking the town blueprints with me.

-----

The next day I come by in the late morning with my cat in his harness, and walking beside me on a leash. Cubby doesn't seem to mind much, and sniffs the air as I ring the doorbell to Doc's house.

No one answers, but he can hear the clanging of metal coming from the workshop, as well as loud music.

Cubby looks up at me, then at the door, then back to me. I just shrug as I open the door myself, and we walk inside.

The music is still loud, making the painting on the wall vibrate, the Doc is still asleep, somehow. So clearly Sac is the only one awake.

Cuz who wouldn't be awake with Ozzy Osborn blasting? At least I figure that's her thinking, sounds like something she'd say. Personally I'm not much for his music. But I set that aside, and look for Sav. I find her pretty fast, considering there's a loud snap, and a loud yell of "MOTHERFUC- AH!"

My eyes go wide, and I hurry in the direction of the voice, expecting to find her in need of medical aid.

She's under a... Well, a thing that looks like a old truck, but with large blades that are folded on top with complicated gears and welding.

"Okay...That is blood, that is a lot of my blood..." She sighs and stretches a leg out, her lower half the only part of her visible.

"Savanna!"

She puts her feet on the side of the truck thing and pushes herself out from under it. Her wrist is cut from the bottom, down to the middle of her arm, quite deeply too. She doesn't seem to care that's its bleeding, or is getting a bunch of dirt and lube in it.

"Oh hey Harley! Look! It's almost finished!" She throws her arms to the strange contraption.

I frown, and slip off my ring. Quick as my legs can carry me I hurry to Ponyville Hospital with her in my arms. I could care less if she made a machine that made pop-tarts, or let me turn into a T Rex at will... All that blood...

I put my ring back on once we're in front of a doctor. I'm pleasantly surprised to recognize her as Nurse Redheart, but shake off the nostalgia to present her with Savanna's arm. The white unicorn perks, and quickly uses her magic to lead Savanna to an examination room.

She groans as she gets dragged. "Harley, what the hell I'm fine, its just a flesh wound. I hurt my self all the time."

I give her my best stern expression, and say, "Just let the ponies fix you up."

She groans like a grumpy 4 year old and stomps her feet, but complies. "Fine, but I ain't paying the bill, I'm already broke."

"I know, I got it covered," I state firmly. Not a lie either, there's more than enough in the dragon hoard we recovered to cover a hospital bill. Seeing blood in Equestria is just... It brings back memories of how twisted the fans could get, and it scares me these days to think it was my favorite form of entertainment in the fandom.

"I friggin hate hospitals..." she sigh and brushes dirt away on her cut-off rolling stones shirt.

I sigh as I sit in a nearby chair letting Redheart get to work. "...Not fond memories for me either... Fuck's sake, promise me you'll be more careful. If I wasn't this fast then it could have gotten a lot worse."

"Alright, but no promises, not really one I can keep."

I scowl with a growl in my throat while I cross my arms.

"Harley, just let me do what I do. Regardless if I get hurt." She huffs, " I warned you with how I work."

"And look what it did. Seriously, were you listening to what I told you yesterday? If they decided you needed to stay most of today then you're in trouble." I walk over to whisper in her ear, "Pretty sure the Parasprites are going to eat most of this place too."

"Great...Fan-friggin-tastic..." she sighs and slumps in her chair.

Luckily once the doctors are sure that her wound is cleaned, stitched, and bandaged they let us go. I leave them a check for the bill, and walk out with Savanna. "So what was so important it was worth slicing open your arm like you were skinning a fish?"

"I call it...The tcm 2.0...Named it after my car, cuz I miss it. Basically its a truck copter."

I blink slowly, "...Okay... How...? What?"

"I don't wanna explain. How about I show you?"

I nod mutely, and follow her back to the workshop.

She throws open the door and trots to the machine, hops in the pilot seat.

"Is it finished yet?" I walk a slow circle around the machine.

"Almost, I'm still workin' on the chas, all the weight in the landing will snap it."

"When did you learn Aviation mechanics," I wonder out loud, and then look up to where Derpy is sleeping in a miniature airplane prototype hanging from the ceiling. Probably the same one she was messing around with in Slice of Life.

"Psh, never, The chas is what basically what handles the torque...But in this case it handles the weight...ish."

"I think you're speaking English... I think," I say, Reminding her in my own smartass way that I do not know squat about mechanics.

"Oi...Torque = the force of when you slam the gas. The force of that and the landing of when we're in the air will snap the Chas." She says slowly.

"Ah, okay. Now we're talking physics, this shit I know." I sit in the chair next to her to listen.

"So yeah, I'm trying to find a way to enforce it with out dragging in down."

I hold up my gauntlet to look at it. "Hm... Astrium? Or Celestial Gold? They're basically the Adamantium, and Vibranium of this world. Like the stuff Captain America's shield, or Wolverine's claws."

"Yeah yeah I know what it's from...Which ones like Captains? Stronger then steel but lighter?"

"The Vibranium? I'd have to say the Celestial Gold. It's what Celestia's guards' armor was made of. Her regalia too actually. It's expensive stuff though, rare. I could write to Princess Luna, but probably not get a lot. Maybe just enough for reinforcement."

"Better then nothin'..."

"Yeah..." My eyes fall to her stitches, and I sigh. "That was stupid-lucky... I mean if it was worse you'd have had to stay there during... The..." My eyes go wide as realization hits me. "The Parasprites! Anypony in that hospital will be screwed once they get there!"

"Yup, luck runs in my blood...Oh, sucks to be them..."

I frown at her, "Sav, this is our job, to minimize high range like that. You can stay, protect your pet project, but I plan to keep those bugs away from the hospital... Our best chance would be to contain them in the town central. That way when Pinkie comes through with the music she can Pied Piper them all in one go."

"I was being sarcastic Wolf. Come on, lets go." She hops off her chair and takes long strides out the door.

I follow with a small frown, "Bonbon will be in the area, but she's keeping her past a secret from Lyra from now... I swear, living with those two has not convinced me they're straight, now matter how much Bonbon protests."

"It happens." She says off handedly

I blink, "What happens?"

"It's just a phrase I say."

"...It makes no sense."

"I say it when I don't know how to respond...so yeah..."

I sigh, and rub my face, "No offense, but that makes you sound stupid."

"Psh, whateves. I don't your negative attitude you rather me make weird bird noises in response?"

"You could just say you don't know what to say like a normal person would," I suggest lightly.

"Nah." She shrugs and whistles like an owl, "That's no fun."

I give her a flat look, and let the matter drop. "Whatever... Can I count on you to help keep the Parasprites in the center of town until Pinkie does her thing?"

"Of course, I round up half-ton animals for a living."

"Point taken," I nod. "Alright... What else?"

"Got the blue prints, gave me my task, uhh..." she stops her counting on her fingers then shrugs.

"I think that's it."

"Would be nice is we had some kind of emergency stockpile for the food," I mutter. "But I don't see how it can be helped... I guess we just hope for the best."

"Psh...Yeah, would be nice..." She looks around guilty and rocks on her heels.

I raise an eyebrow at her, "...What with that look?"

"I may have a stash."

I scoff, "One large enough for all of Ponyville?"

"...Like...Maayyybbeee three people..."

I facepalm, and sigh, "Well thanks for offering, I'll keep it in mind." I glance out a window, "...Come on, let's roll. We need to make it to town before those little devils arrive." And with that I head out.

"Heh, transformers reference for the win!" She happily follows with a pip in her step.

From there things go about like you would expect. The Parasprites rain down, start eating all the food, thenTwilight casts her spell that makes them start eating everything else. One good sized swarm got away towards Sweet Apple Acres, but I rounded them back in by using my speed to stuff them into barrels then carry them back. Afterwards I look for Savanna to see how she's doing.

Shes running fun throttle at a swarm of them, swigging her sword as she yells at them. "SCAT YOU FLUFFY FUCKS!"

I jerk, and grab her sword arm, "Hey, shield only! That thing stuns creatures about three times the size of you, or me. That same charge might kill these things!"

"Calm down i'm just using it to scare them." She says

"Like I said, shield only. The ponies in this town are PG, remember that. You Accidentally kill one then what does it tell them about our species? I spent too long earning their trust for you to rip it all down."

She sighs and shuts down her sword. "Very well. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't- CELESTIA'S FLAMING CUNT!" I jump as I spot Parasprites going for a baby carriage, and dash over to push it out of the way.

She also dashes over, putting up her shield so the parasprites fly over it, and the carriage.

I sigh in relief, and give her a nod. "Good job Sav." I smile, and the baby in the carriage coos up at us. A little blue earth pony colt with a yellow mane.

"Awe..." She says looks around. "Where's your mother?"

A lime green earth pony with a mane matching the baby runs up to us, "Thank you!" She gives us a smile of gratitude before taking the handle of the carriage in her teeth, and taking off as fast as she can away from the swarm.

"...I guess cliches have some credibility," I mutter.

"You're welcome! Don't get eaten!" She yells after her and then bitterly crosses her arms, "Why would you leave your kid alone anyway?"

"Monster attacks aren't exactly commonplace in Ponyville yet," I reply, looking over my shoulder as I hear music. "So she must have gotten seperated before, or during the panic."

"Okay...So like what are you hinting at Har?"

"Well in episode 100 this massive cross between a bee, and a grizzly bear starts tearing the town apart, and that's just a background conflict to the premise of a wedding," I reply. "So by then the citizens of this town get used to shit like this."

"Oh...Well shit." She says, "I didn't think this show was this... Monstery..."

"You should've been here for the Ursa Minor attack," I reply. "Which reminds me, I need you to remind me to get the address off Pinkie Pie for the rock farm she grew up on once all this is over."

"Noted." She says.

"So what now?"

I smirk as Pinkie trots through town, playing her one-pony band, and going all Pied Piper on the Parasprites. They Bob through the air, in tune with the beat before they start bouncing on the ground single-file behind her as she starts leading them out of town.

"Why are they following her?...Nevermind, dumb question..."

I laugh, and put an arm around her shoulders, "Oh... Here's a common phrase used by Bronies, and Pegasisters... It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it."

She slings her arm around my waist. "Still trying not to..."

The Mane 6 follow the Parasprites, and we follow them. Quietly I tell Savanna, "Be grateful you're not a fan. This whole time I've had flashes of Friendship is Witchcraft playing through my head."

"Uh, okay. Sure, whatever that is." She replies are she watches the creatures bounce behind Pinkie.

"It's an abridged series of MLP, very hated on. Music is pretty good, and so is Sweetie-Bot, but other than that I doubt anyone relatively sane can sit through it."

"If it's anything like those sweet-boy vids then no. Absolutely not."

I frown, "The what?"

"Oh god...Ya know those guys who are like, overly nice? 'Oh babygirl' 'sweety'..." she makes a gagging noise and cringes. "Please don't make me go on..."

I roll my eyes, "Fine... Oh look who it is!"

I point up where Celestia is being flown in on her own regal sky chariot, pulled by white pegasai in gold armor. Twilight, and her friends with the exception of Pinkie all how as she lands.

She watches with interest and leans against a tree. "Let me guess, she gives a speech about something?"

"Who? Celestia? Nah, this is just the part where she tells Twilight she can't stay long because a neighboring town has issues with an... Infestation."

"Great...Sounds like the flood." She jokes and wags her eyebrows.

"Not a bad comparison," I compliment. "Only no zombies."

"Damn it..."

I am concerned for the mental health of your entire species.

I snicker at that, and watch as Twilight gives her friendship report, this time a lesson on listening to your friends, despite how ludicrous things might appear to be. That makes me pause, and look over the events of today... Did I learn some lesson that might be worth sharing with Luna later?

Savanna sighs boredly and reaches into her pocket to pull out a switch blade. She flicks it open and begins to clean her nails with it. "I really need to sharpen this thing..."

I tilt my head at her, "Yeah... Hey, how long have you been wearing the same outfit?"

She looks down at herself. "Pretty much since I've gotten here. I mean I've washed it but..."

"Yeah, I'm taking you to meet Rarity after I get the town put together again."

"Sure, whateves." She shrugs

I frown, "You could at least try to sound a bit more grateful..."

"Thank you Harley." She says quickly, "Really need to cut back on my mellowness..."

"Mellow? You?" I raise an eyebrow, "You're mellow?"

"I don't know... Am I? I don't even know the word I was looking for..."

I just shake my head with a chuckle as we follow the girls back to town where we oversee the wreckage.

"Yikes..."

"And cue the trombone," I mutter, then off to the side Pinkie plays the sad trombone wah-wah-wah, and I crack my neck. Then I step forward, "Okay everypony take a seat... I got this."

Then I pull out my phone, and find that one song from the CW show of The Flash in my iTunes playlist, the one with the choir singing when Barry does something exceptionally awesome. Then I hand my phone to Savanna, and slip off my ring, tucking it into the inside pocket of one of my gauntlets.

The next few days relative to me had to be quite the sight to see from the normal flow of time, which probably only took an hour or two to everyone else. You see, in third grade I got straight F's in math so my dad had me working with him on construction sites starting from that summer to pretty much when I turned 14. Even after that I had a lot of experience in the construction, and laborer fields so I know what I'm doing. It's the longest I ever spent in the abstract reality of time to me, and I gotta admit, it's still just as fun as the first time.

Plus the time warp makes the entire job so much easier. Since I'm moving so fast the velocity of my movements nearly nullifies gravity so moving heavy loads is like pulling little red wagons as a kid. I hardly need a hammer, I can just push nails through the wood like thumb tacks, even the ones several inches long. Plumbing, dry walling, sheet-rocking, insulation, decoration, all easy as pie.

Normally a reconstruction job on a town the size of Ponyville could range from a few weeks to a month or two so there's a lot to do. Luckily the local hardware, and lumber stores had just enough to get the job done. And yes, I pay for it. I'm careful to keep track of what I take, and the total cost then leaving checks for what I take. Rest isn't an issue, I just head home for an 8 second power nap as far as anyone else is concerned, and for food I made a habit of dropping by Sweet Apple Acres. Yes, I pay for that stuff too.

There are some things in the town I can't fix, like the custom made store signs, and the metal street lanterns. But even that aside I figure I did 98% of the work. And I'm rather proud of myself once I'm finished, slipping my ring back on once I find Savanna, and dusting my hands off.

"Alrighty! Crisis averted, and everything is as it should be," I declare. "Still got my phone?"

She shakes it in her hand and hands it to me. "Nice work Har."

I take it, and slip it into my pocket, "One small mystery here though, something I kept rolling around in my head over the last couple days... The next episode listed this season is Winter Wrap-Up, but we're still in summer. There hasn't even been a Running of the Leaves yet."

"And that's bad from what I know...?..."

"It kinda makes me question the timeline of the show," I reply. "Popular belief was that seasons 1-4 took place over the course of one year for Eqhestria."

"I hate confusing time lines..."

I sigh, and look around, "...Maybe we should go to Twilight, see if anything happened off-camera."

"You got it."

We head for the Golden Oaks library, and head inside. We find Spike arranging books, and I pat the little dragon on the back, "Hey man, what's up?"

Spike looks up, "Oh hey Harley! Sorry if you're here to see Twilight, Mayor Mare wanted her opinion at the meeting at town hall."

"Ooo, fancy," Sav says.

"Yeah, she'll be back soon though," Spike assures us with a smile, and then the front door slams open as Twilight comes in bouncing like a happy school filly.

"Welp. Harley, take the lead with your explaining...Because I will mess it up."

"Actually I'm clueless," I reply, watching the happy lavender unicorn. "What's up?"

Twilight stops when she realizes she has company, "Oh... Well, in light of the infestation, Ponyville has a shortage of food. From what the mayor says we won't have enough by the end of summer to last out autumn, and winter..."

"Well...That's bad..."

Twilight nods, "Yup! So I proposed we accelerate the seasons a bit!"

I blink, and guess, "...An early winter?"

She nods, "Yup! The leaves aren't ready to come off the trees yet though so everypony is pitching in to make them bare, and make the leaves into fertilizer. After that we've already put in a request to Cloudsdale for snow clouds, and the best part... I get to see Winter Wrap Up for the first time in a few months from now! Ahead of schedule!"

"Well hotdog!"

Twilight gives Sav confused look, "What?"

She sighs, "It's a thing I say when something good happens..."

"Okay, so you must like dogs when they pant?"

I decide to step in before this gets weird. "Yeah! I mean they look so lovable, especially German Shepards, right Sav?" Memory serves that's her favorite breed.

"Jesus... Nevermind alright?"

Comments

[Warden of Monsters]

8180229 I don't actually have one so I could be wrong, but aren't clips for rifles? The Deagle is just the only handgun I could name at the time, and it had to be a handgun because he couldn't exactly hide a rifle from these ponies.

Plus I think you're giving bears a little too much credit. Granted I've seen them shrug off blasts from shotguns, but the lethality of buckshot is very different from your standard round. Buckshot just disperses damage in a wide area with little BB's. Bullets though are a lot more focused, and I should think a Deagle could match the power of some shotguns. Think of it as the difference between whacking a piece of wood with a hammer, and whacking a nail into it. Same amount of power in a more tightly focused point.

As for guilt tripping... I hate guns, I really do, and I hate a lot of the things humanity has done. I'm a genuine cynic whose knee jerk reaction is to assume the worst in folks. But I realize there are times when you need to be prepared for action, and there are few weapons better than a firearm of any sort.

That's all I wanted to say. Thanks for dropping a Review!

[joeyjumper94]

what about a nuclear airship? thorium fuel?

[Warden of Monsters]

8182267 Considering this is a race that stores lightning in glass jars, and can move the very celestial faces of the sun and moon I don't think there's much call for anything nuclear. I mean we've seen what Rainbow Dash alone can do with a dive-bomb in Lesson Zero. Besides, Harley wouldn't want to try bringing anything nuclear into this or else he might end up triggering Fallout Equestria. While I love that AU to absolute death I don't think he would want to live with that kind of guilt on his conscious.

[JadeFox]

8180594
Honestly the first choice because so long as I don't force myself into their problems like most writers do everything will stay the same cause I'v seen the show, Their world/god favors the ponies not the random human who comes along and thinks they have some purpose for being in there world (They don't) when all they do is mess things up.
I won't let anything slip only bigmouths, stupidly honest people or the average Joe would make such a big mistake like that,
If they asked where I am from I would just say I'm not from equestira cause that's one kingdom on their continent and I'd say I'm from another continent, If they asked why they've never seen one of my kind I'd say ponies don't take to kindly to anything that's not a pony which is very true or we're very few in numbers.
Why would I tell them anything just so I can have a purpose that makes me feel important in their world, Really self satisfying and deplorable considering most writers do that makes me... upset, I'm a human I'll do what humans do best and just live only maybe getting involved when the MC's are acting like idiots and can't see the obvious solution. Even better since I am in a new world I can show them our worlds culture such as music, movies or art, Because of my former and current job I know how to lie unlike the vast majority of the people in these stories so I can easily say I made these things if I felt like it (Maybe to mess with them). Most stories have generic or just plain stupid MC who rarely ever have a good way to handle situations, I understand that the these stories are usually self inserts or just partial inserts but come on everyone can't all be generic and have the same story just written differently mein gott!

[Warden of Monsters]

8222127
Stupidly honest... Nicer than I say it, I call myself disgustingly honest a lot of the time. That's just how I am, and when I write this it's genuinely how I would act in Equestria. Besides I'm not trying to write this for any bestselling awards really, it's just a story for giggles I felt like sharing.

[JadeFox]

8222193
I can understand It's just that vast majority of inserts all do the same thing just written differently, Which is why I enjoyed the first quarter of the first chapter it was different, Not a bad story by any means just as a very avid reader I take notice of the all small and blaring cliches that that are in most stories out there.

[Warden of Monsters]

8222493
Then can you make any suggestions of things to avoid? A few specifics would be nice.

[JadeFox]

8222660
Everyone always wan'ts to go back home doesn't matter how shit their life is, Understandable if their life is good.
Telling them your from another world literally in almost all insert/displaced fics.
Telling them their world is a cartoon same as the above, reasons why its stupid, Its a known fact that Applejacks parents are dead, Fluttershy was bullied to point she became what she is at the start of the series because shes an extreme case of abuse, scootaloos wing were originally never going fly do to stunted wings because Lauren Faust and every other pony character who has had it pretty rough, Now imagine telling them their world is a cartoon and every shit thing that's happen to them is because some middle aged man/woman did it to make the story move on, Plus it would also imply that you know a lot about them and that would creep me out that's a hard thing to do. I'v asked a hundred people this question sixty people responded with saying they'd react with physical violence towards the person that told them, twenty people would either react with shock then extreme depression or Anger a lot of it. last twenty had no opinion or didn't care.
Forcing the character to be apart of the mane 6 and getting involved with their problems or to be a hidden element.

There's more but its 1 am and I'm tired.

[Warden of Monsters]

8222961
I think you misunderstand the concept of Ad Infinitum my friend. In a layman's terms, every reality exists somewhere. There are some where you, and I are fictional characters. In fact in the vast expanse of infinite possibilities there's actually an infinite number of worlds where that is the case. Does that mean someone somewhere is controlling what we do here and now to the smallest detail? No, no it does not. It just means someone had an idea, and it is reality someplace else. In this context the show to us is merely a recording to these ponies. It's not guaranteed to happen according to the writers of the show, and the main character here is aware of that. But he knows that if th events follow in according to the show it's more likely to be better for everyone. He's just lucky he's in a position to do so, and that the universe here isn't all that different from Canon so for the meantime it's easy for him.

That won't last though. Ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? Of course you have, we've all seen the Season 6 Finale. Him just being in that world may have upset the Course of things, he's not sure either way. So he's doing his part to keep damage to a minimum.

[JadeFox]

8223370
Yes I know what Ad Infinitum is and the butterfly effect is there taught in most schools I assume, Also where did this come from?

[Warden of Monsters]

8224277
You said that it was implying to the ponies that their world was being determined by middle aged humans...

[JadeFox]

8224284
Right forgot that thank you.