• Published 24th Jan 2017
  • 3,734 Views, 78 Comments

Tiamat, The Dragon God of Evil... and Giraffes - Hypnos



Long ago, I fought my brother and lost. I ended up trapped in stone, my armies scattered and my power drained. Now, I'm free and I think after a long nap, I need a good old fashion conquest, so I chose Equestria.

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A giraffe set me free

Gah, how long has it been since I woke up?

I had been stuck in some garden, for what seemed like ages. My other heads hadn’t even woken up yet. The last thing I remembered before we woke was fighting with my brother, his knights surrounding me as he prepared a spell to stop me, before he succumbed to his wounds.

Are you idiots up yet? Wait, what’s that? Oh it’s just another of those stupid tour groups.

“This way class. We’re almost done,” the pony at the front said.

They gathered around my form, some scared, others bored.

The Great Tiamat reduced to a lawn ornament to be ogled at by children. If my brother saw me he’d have a field day with this.

“This statue was found under the castle after it was built, no one knows how it got there or even how old it is. All we have are the words written in an unknown language,” the pony said to the smaller one’s looking at me.

“Why is it so important it’s just some dragon?” one of the foals said disinterested.

Just some dragon, I knew I should ate those horses the moment they dared to make their own nation.

“Ya, it’s not even that scary. Ah thought dragons were supposed to be- ah don’ know bigger,” another said it’s voice with a southern drawl.

Little punk, thinks it can talk about me that way. Why if I weren’t stuck I’d eat all these little twerps.

“Some historians think this might have been some kind of deity to dragons, but it may also be a memorial,” the head pony told the foals. “Now let’s move along class, it’s almost time for lunch.”

As they walked away I went back to trying to wake up the others. Thinking we could break free if all of us were here. After an hour had passed no one had visited the garden, but I felt a sudden change in the magic around me, before a one of the other statues in the garden exploded releasing some strange monstrosity.

Huh, always thought that was an abstract piece.

It stood there for a second popping its back and stretching out. It turned around looking to the other statues in the garden. It stopped in front of a few scratching its chin, at a few it snapped its fingers releasing some trapped creature, some more lucky than others, one even turned to dust as soon as it was free. Before long he was in front of me giving me a once over.

“So, let's see what you can do?” he asked as he snapped his fingers, causing the stone around me to vanish. As soon as it was gone I could feel the magic in the air rushing to me, slowly refilling my mana pools. His face drained of color as I stood there basking in the sun and stretching out a bit.

“Wow, being turned to stone sucks. Do you have any idea how long I was like that, I mean wow. I’d probably be insane if I weren’t asleep for most of it,” I said jumping off the pedestal I’d been standing on for the last… few thousand years.

“So, you wanted to know what I can do?” I asked him.

“Umm- well- uh bye,” he said trying to teleport away, only for me to cast Disjunction stopping him in his tracks.

“Now, that’s no way to show a girl a good time, mister…” I stood there for a second looking him up and down, as he was just there frozen in what I assumed was fear. “I’m gonna go with a chimera, no wait a giraffe. Yup definitely a giraffe.”

“But- how do- I even resemble- a gira,” he was saying till I gave him a look of displeasure about being wrong.

We stood there for a bit looking at each other, before long I grew bored and was about say something when I heard something approaching. A group of ponies in armor rounded a corner, only to freeze when they saw me and the giraffe.

“Who goes there?” one of them yelled.

“Oh, look Mr. Giraffe, someone sent us a snack,” I said smiling at him, before looking back to the approaching prey. “Now, get in a single file line so I can cook you all at once,” I told them. They looked at each other, before spreading out and stopped, taking a defensive formation. One of them ran to get reinforcements.

“Hmm, I guess I can work with this,” I said, sighing and looking back to Mr. Giraffe, “Why do mortals always have to be so difficult?”

“What do you me-” he started saying, but I didn’t hear the rest as I rushed at my meal. I was tempted to just use blasphemy to make it easy, but I hadn’t had a decent meal in a while so I wanted to enjoy myself.

One of them tried to stop me with magic, the spell slid off my scales, and I sliced his head off his shoulders. As his body slumped over, another tried avenging his friend by skewering me with his spear, when I swiped it from his hooves he jumped away using his wings to propel himself away from my counter attack.

“Playing hard to get? Don’t you just love it when your food plays back?” I asked him, smiling. My claw began to glow with magic, the remaining guards eyes grew wide, as the pegasus that just dodged was surrounded in my aura. He looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with fear, or at least that’s what it smelled like. “Ugh, really that’s just disgusting, now I don’t even want to eat you. I mean, seriously. Gross,” I said, tossing him away.

Turning to the other guard, I frowned there was only one left, but now my appetite was ruined. I turned to leave, making my way toward the entrance the ponies had walked through, just before I go though I heard the rush of wing beats. More ponies landed in front of me.

“Halt, dragon!” one yelled. I yawned and turned around as I heard more land behind me. I saw two larger ponies land in front of Mr. Giraffe.

“Discord! We won’t let you wreak havoc across Equestria again!” the larger of the two yelled, as he still stood there in shock.

These two seem important, strange how they think he’s the larger threat. Maybe I’ve been trapped longer than I thought.

“Sister, we think there may have bigger problems than this fool,” the blue one said noticing the headless pony on the ground and me covered in its blood.

“What could possibly be worse than Discord, Luna?” her sister asked. The other grabbing her head in her magic and forcing her to look at the carnage I had caused. She seemed shocked for a moment, looking back at Mr. Giraffe, then to her sister and then back at me. I smiled and waved at them. The white one’s face suddenly filled with rage, and she rushed at me.

“You will rue the day you thought you could harm one of my ponies, and get away with it, dragon,” she yelled, her body bursting into flames. I frowned, I never thought to introduce myself to Mr. Giraffe.

I raised a claw, to grab the flaming pony as she got close enough. Before she could stop herself, I had grabbed hold of her by the face.

“I’m so sorry,” I said still holding the white pony’s head.

“Apologies, won’t halt justice, wyrm!” she yelled. I looked at her confused.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” I said simply, as I tossed her over my shoulder by her head, hearing a wall shatter behind me soon after. I walked toward the stunned large blue pony, she got into a defensive stance preparing for me to attack. I merely pushed her out of my way, and stopped before the still shocked Mr. Giraffe, and stuck out a claw. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Tiamat.”

Mr. Giraffe stood there staring at me for a second, it didn’t seem like he was going to respond any time soon. So, I turned around to leave the garden, seeing the two larger ponies pulling themselves to their feet, with their guards still staring at me.

“Well, it’s been fun, but then again it hasn’t so bye,” I told them, spreading my wings to take off.

“What are you planning, creature?” the large white pony yelled to me, causing me to stop. I folded my wings back up and looked at her for a second.

I hadn’t really given that much thought.

“You know what I have no idea. I’ve already conquered the world once so that’s out of the question, maybe I’ll destroy the world,” I said causing their jaws to drop and stare at me even harder. “No, that’d be no fun. I think I’ll go see how the world has changed, or I might just go see how my children have done in my absence.”

Before they could say anything, I unfurled my wings and took off. A smile on my face as I left to discover what new wonders the world had in store.

“What have I done?”