• Member Since 4th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen January 4th

Distorted Flare

King negro(Spanish word for black so not racist) lord of the watermelon, duke of the chicken realm, high almoner of the grape cool aid of the Nile, has no tolerance for white people.

Comments ( 216 )

The "great" America in a nutshell of madness...at least the beginning of the fic.

This might become the best thing to happen on this site

"I can't believe someone who isn't a cis white male is about to be president!" cried Donna, the "plus size" woman of the group. I put "plus size" in quotes because really she's just fat. Newsflash kids at home, if you have trouble telling your cunt from your fat folds, you aren't plus size, you're a health and safety violation. Yes, it is possible to be big and sexy, I'm into big girls myself, but my god people there's a limit unless you're extremely black.

Yes Mr Flare people definitely read stories on My Little Pony fanfiction site Fimfiction dot net to read about your opinions on fat people yep uhuh sure

They also love to read stale stock characters who consist entirely of cliches that literally every anti-sjw "satirist" has used continuously for literally years without any variation whatsoever.

And I'm sure they adore stories that are so sloppily edited that huge chunks of them are in italics because of an unclosed tag.

Speaking of huge chunks, this story blows them.

7874104 Damn son you must really want a reaction

What the fuck is this? I don't care which side you're on, or which side is which, but this is just the most personally-motivated story ever. Who shit in your cereal and called it chocolate? I'm sorry, I don't remember fimfic being a place for fictionless "writing" that's just somebody ranting about a vendetta or a pet peeve. Find something more constructive to do.

Edit: also, really hard to have half an ounce of respect for a hateful piece of poorly chosen words and MS paint that must have taken 10 minutes. I'm sure that of Nostradamus, Plato, Galileo, Sócrates, Einstein, all of their best work was done in ten minutes.

7874112 No one shit in my cereal. I am perfectly capable of doing that myself. Ricardio wrote it and I uploaded it I don't give two fucks who you voted for I just love watching Americans get bent out of shape.

7874125 While you're here:

"However the fuck we want!" Said Harold defensively, "it's 2016, are you trying to tell me that we can't breed with whoever we want in what is literally the current year?"

Might want to put in a note to make it clear that the time in the fic and reality is different. Mad Libs will be too busy having hurt feelings due to struck nerves. Also put in a because the fic becomes italics hell.

Oh god damn it, I just saw the incomplete tag... I hope to god this gets taken down before a second chapter. If you have so much hate for the other people of this planet, and you sound like your next blog post is going to be about how you firebombed a black church or shot up a krogers, just quit. Stop. Bottle up all that hate and wither internally so that your not a "health and safety violation" to people in the same town. What does this accomplish? Blowing off steam? Judging by the god damn shameful amount of porn you post in this site, I think you've got that covered. So you just wanted to rile people like me up in the comment section because you got angery and, just as misery loves company, so does anger. I could never have guessed how this would be approved or by who, but I don't imagine much thought went into this.

7874153 That black church attacked me it was self defence. Also try reading what I typed you tard. Now back to your safe space.


you sound like your next blog post is going to be about how you firebombed a black church

>Distorted Flare's bio

You can't stump the Trump

has there ever been a decent story on this site with the [random] tag

because i've been here since 2011 and i have never seen one

I'm upvoting just because of aids skrillex.

The butthurt in this comments section. It feeds me. Stay triggered my pretties.

While I admit everyone including me is coming in heated for this story, I didn't realize who I was dealing with. Tard? Really? Are you just now discovering words that hurt people, or did you come out of the womb saying ni**er and tard? What happened in your childhood, what did your parents teach you, what middle school kids did you sit with that this is it? I get it's click bait, but really? The least you could do is be defensive with your narrowed view of hate, rather than on the offense. Ouch, that internet comment hit me right in my squiggly squooge, and now I am emotionally damaged. Oww.
Fuckin Christ, I need to get amnesia for the past half hour of my life I spent wasting my time on a hateful piece of shit.

7874160 It says gullible on the ceiling.
7874189 Come on man, you gotta post the clip itself! Mel Brooks's work must be revealed to the world!

Doubtful you even know what Blazing Saddles is.


While I admit everyone including me is coming in heated for this story

Only Sith Lords deal in absolutes.

7874198 Ah someone else who appreciates that awesome movie.

I'm attempting to partake in the entertaining mobile telephone application referred to on the App Store where it may be downloaded as "Game of War"; however, during my attempts in achieving the objectives set down by the code of this telephone-based gaming solution, I am having my relative success hindered by the actions taken by another person who is utilising the multiplayer framework of the game to operate a digital entity known by the user-chosen name of "TheLegend27", and as a consequence am having my figurative posterior struck by the skin-covered metatarsal bones that make up the said "TheLegend27"'s foot, lying as it does at the end of the said user's leg.

You know, Catch... I do try to be considerate on here. I really do. And usually I manage it, cause, hey, nothing nice to say, best not say anything. But with you...

Get the fuck over yourself mate.

Your attitude is exactly the reason Trump is in office, you new puritan pile of bumper sticker slogans. God forbid anyone poke some fun at the nitwits who dragged us into this mess in the first place.

7874200 Of course I know what it is.

7874211 :pinkiehappy:
7874212 Better story than this

I was curious about what this story was.

I'm staying for the butthurt.

Some Goomba once told me King Koopa's gonna own me
My plunger's still locked up in the woodshed
I was feeling kind of down 'til my brother came around
With that cool looking "L" on his forehead
Well, he said, "Hey there, brother, we still got each other
Bowser's just a jerk who's never had a mother
I know your plunger's locked up in that shack,
so we'll knock down the door and get it back"
"Take up a stand and follow me
Ash just called and he needs a buddy
His toilet is clogged up again,
And we should go help out our friend"
Hey now, you're a plumber! Get your plunger, go plunge!
Hey now, you're a rocker, get your guitar, go grunge!
Bowser's stinky and old!
Only superstars get the gold!!
Ash said, "Mario. It was my Charmander.
He was taking a crap until he fell down there.
Now I'm really afraid he's a goner.
Can't you help me out, since you are a plumber?"
I said, "Ash, this is really lame.
Pokémon can never be potty trained.
Next time, Charmander has to take a dump,
make him do it outside, you stupid chump."
Hey now, you're a plumber! Get your plunger, go plunge!
Hey now, you're a rocker, get your guitar, go grunge!
Bowser's stinky and old!
Only superstars get the gold!!
(Stinky and old)
Whoa-whoa, wa-hoo! Wa-hoo!
(Stinky and old)
(Stinky and old)
Mom, Mamma Mia! (That smells pretty bad)
Mamma Mia!
Wa-hoo! Wa-hoo!
Hey now, you're a plumber! Get your plunger, go plunge!
Hey now, you're a rocker, get your guitar, go grunge!
Bowser's stinky and old!
Only superstars
Wario came in and said, "Now things can begin!
I've got a plunger and I know how to use it."
I said, "What? You can't do that. I can plunge it just by myself."
Man, this song's really not in my range...
Well, we kept on plungin' and it was not budgin'
Ash played his flute and we kept on grudgin'
Didn't make sense to do this for free
So we asked Ash, "Hey, where is our fee?"
And his excuse was he was broke
Cause he just lost a bet with Gary Oak
' Well I said, " I guess we'll go." (Go!)
"See you never, ya cheap psycho."
Hey now, you're a plumber! Get your plunger, go plunge!
Hey now, you're a rocker, get your guitar, go grunge!
Bowser's stinky and old!
Only superstars get the gold!
Bowser's stinky and old!
Only superstars get the gold!

7874187 You're getting riled up about a story that isn't suppose to be taken seriously. The one thing I admire about the Conservatives in this site is they won't be triggered besides the few over a story meant to insult Conservatives.

Read his bio m8

That and the description should've given you a clue.

And this is coming from a Liberal.


Cause he just lost a bet with Gary Oak

So THAT'S what Gary "Motherfucking" Oak meant by "smell ya later!"

7874247 Sorry for doubleposting but I only get triggered by bad writing, so I'm triggered 80% of the time. You have too high expectations of us. Even though I'm probably more left-leaning than I think, according to those online tests

Leave that daft Scot outta this. I wrote the story, not him. I didn't feel like making an account, so I had him publish this.

I'll not be accused of hatefullness, since I'm so full of love.

My story is 100% serious.

7874257 = ). Don't worry Ricardio I take good care of story. Also fuck you.

Somebody once told me
His school would not enroll me
I wished I'd stuck with Muggles instead
'Cause I'm freaked by the occult
And I swear a lightning bolt
Was the shape of the scar on his forehead

The books keep coming and the films keep coming
And you thought Star Wars was a little mind-numbing
Must the whole world be an H.P. fan?
It's a Sirius pain in the Azkaban
So much to read! So much to knock!
Is this virus called Norwalk or Warlock?
So try every spell you've been shown
I'd rather be Sorcerer's Stoned

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
You got floo dust - on me
Hey now
You've got Wormtail
And your friends are - Weasley
Ride that broom till you're sore
'Cause you put the dumb in Dumbledore

You've got house elves with attention disorders
And a one-track mind that's nine and three quarters
Hey, your mentor just might be a centaur
And if you've gone mad, blame Dr. Dementor
That Whomping tree's got really mean wood
For some good love call Luna Lovegood
My goblet's on fire! My butt feels worse!
Sitting through this stuff's an Unforgivable Curse

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
And your Crookshanks - bit me
Hey now
You've got Mudblood
You've got Yule balls - yearly
My name's not Merv Gryffindor!
Eat Cornelius Fudge...

I met a male fairy
Who said, Hello, I'm Harry
I guess he'd never heard about Nair
I said, Witch!
Gimme that snitch!
You little son of a Quidditch!
And your dog's got an extra pair

Of heads!
The wolves keep howling and the owls keep owling
There's a vault full of gold here for J.K. Rowling
Tom Riddle me this: Would a snake prefer
A bird named Fawkes or a fox named Fleur?
So Peter's a rat? Hermione's a cat?
And when it's Snape's shift will he shape shift?
And is it Cho Chang or Chang Cho?
I'll never last through the last show

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
Tell your hat to - sort me
Hey now
You're a horcrux
And you're uni - corny
All your wands are too short
And you put the emo in Voldemort

Ride those brooms till you're sore
'Cause you put the dumb in Dumbledore

So everyone linked hand in hand with Harold as he tapped his heels together.
"There's no Safe Space™ like home, there's no Safe Space™ like home, there's no Safe Space™ like home."

My fucking sides!

Wait wait wait... puritan? Nitwits that got us into this mess? What are you rambling about? All this faff in the comment section aside, please, educate me in what you mean by calling me a Protestant Protestant. How did disliking hateful pieces of shit get Trump in office? Oh wait I know what your gonna say. Your gonna go on a whole rant, hating Hillary Clinton, or hating me. Somebody will. Great. Keep the circle jerk going, pass the hate around. See where it gets you in life. Sorry to sound bitter and inconsiderate, but I don't like I when people, in person or on the internet "piss on you and call it rain" and just continue on with their day quietly saying to themselves, "yes, I affected some body's life somewhere. I did something and people reacted like I knew would've happened."

Ah well, fuck the hate, it's gotta stop somewhere, so have a nice day all of you, good luck and god speed on escaping the comment section.

I'm sorry you've been seduced by the lying Liberal media.


Yes. North Korea has bad things about it, but it's a genuinely pretty good state. Most of what you hear about them is pretty literally straight lies. It's pretty common to claim someone is executed by the state because someone in South Korea even vaguely hints at it, and then have that person show up. Also all the 'cold fusion' and 'made 30 holes in one' and stupid shit like that. They're anti-imperialist, they make an effort to keep the worker state alive, and they live pretty well. The number of people in work camps are pretty low, in the low tens of thousands (and that's a variety of severity) and is generally for rather egregious crimes. Don't believe propoganda my dudes, people in North Korea are fine, most people love the state (Because it provides them even and positive life), and if they were opened to international trade they'd probably a fantastic example of really successful Socialism (Like Cuba)

7874282 What he means is that labeling people bigots, racists, sexists and labeling obvious parody as hate speech gets old very quickly. Is it any surprise that people don't want to support the same party or even the same ideology as you? So far all you have commented is about how this is hate speech. That is it and then thrown in a bunch of stupid shit about me hating blacks and so on. The autistic freak out you had, does not paint you in a positive light and people get sick of being censored and having to constantly avoid offending people over the pettiest of shit. When you are constantly told you are racist/ a monster if you don't vote for one person and then told you are a racist/ monster regardless people say fuck it. and it is because of Liberals that Trump won. You and everyone else that freaks out over shit like this is the reason America has a fucking idiot in charge. But seriously well done America. Your choices came down to down syndrome porridge and a war mongering Lizard queen.

Yeah, that's not the only thing that got Trump elected.

Hillary running against him was a huge help.

First off, I don't hate you my butt hurt chum! I don't like you either. I have no feelings one way or the other on you simply because I don't know you well aside from you coming onto a clearly satirical piece of pony fanfiction and treating it as more then that. Distorted is taking the piss out of the entitled cry babies who first demanded a recount which garnered more votes for their lightning rod of daddy issues, made numerous death threats and calls to violence, and proceeded to burn down their own liberal cities... all to fight hate mind you!

And yes, you are a new puritan my adorable little smurf! Out of all the great and terrible evils in creation, you come onto a pony site to hate on a story... all in the name of the dogma of "stop the hate man!"

And if you knew what this was, why come on here and waste your time?

As I said mate, get the fuck over yourself. This is a comedy piece, you need to realize that others have the right to say and write things you dislike, and to, god again fucking forbid, cope with Trump and all other apparent dilemnas and tragedies affecting poor little you like a thrice damned adult

Keep in mind that Trump only won on a technicality of the Electoral College and not the Popular Vote.

Login or register to comment