• Member Since 16th Dec, 2016
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Skaltrox Defiance Knight


"Through darkened skies and malevolent eyes, my journey never dies"-Skaltrox Orthuris: Knight of Defiance

T

John is your typical teenage guy, went to school, did chores and got a little money for doing so. But he also has a secret love for the show MLP, he kept it secret from everyone and intends to keep it that way.

During an afternoon web surf, he watches an interesting My little pony video that features his favourite pony, Twilight Sparkle. But later on, while he rested, he failed to notice or feel lavender purple fur spread up his body.

If you are wondering yes my Favourite is Twilight. Anyway this is a TG, Anthro transformation story, just letting you know.

This is now a collab!
The story "Aspects of harmony" by kwr2k13 focuses on Kurt's perspective. Here is a link to that story https://www.fimfiction.net/story/361690/aspects-of-harmony

And if you wish to be apart of this collab and become one of the characters, just let either of us know.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 332 )

I look forward to more chapters, keep up the good work!:yay:

Looks promising. Definitely following.

7875140 It definetly does. Can't wait for for the new chapter!

Can't wait for the next chapter

Heh, ew. Furry waifu fic.

Interesting, very ... interesting.

Ok for some reason I'm getting a bunch of these comments with dislikes? What the hell

I wonder if you aren't the only one in this. What if others are changing into ponies like Twilight's friends, like Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie, to name a few. Even Starlight Glimmer...

7876254 I don't mind helping out as one of John's friends who becomes Anthro Applejack. Of course we will need clothes, so one friend would become Rarity and make a country themed outfit for AJ and an outfit for Twilight. I use gmail's google docs for writing my stories.

So will this be mostly the Mane 6 and Spike, or will it include the CMC and other MLP characters?

7876666 Thanks. I'll look through them and find a good one to change too.

Makes me wonder if there are going to be a few OC anthro ponies. That could be fun.:raritywink:

7877252 Not sure about that yet. Just really sticking to the main cast.

oh the next chapter should be fun. Can't wait see what happen next.

Now it's going to get really fun.:twilightsmile:

I get the feeling the same thing that happened to John will happen to his friends

Prepare your awkwardness meter, it's going to be destroyed by the next chapter.

Great job so far. I see you incorporated all the mane 6's elements of harmony in the friends. Epic foreshadowing!

Would anyone wish to help collab as the anthro main 6? Like the characters in the story get the videos for Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and I was thinking of helping as Applejack.

Well, John's friends were quite understanding. I would probably grab the nearest gun and start shooting whoever did it. Several times. Not enough to kill them, just maybe make them lose a few fingers, and perhaps any sort of reproducing capability.:pinkiecrazy:
On a much lighter note, this story has been a blast to read so far.

Well I've had enough time to think, and my reaction to what Twilight (John) is going through would have been the following.

Insert loud string of curses here, and one very unsure family meeting later. Then the shopping trip with my mom while my dad laughs during the whole trip.

7879580 Well hold on, because possible tonight a new chapter will be up. Called "The wreck of the Star caster"

I like the concept but not the execution....

First; her (his?, uh, confused...) voice. Okay, fine, the character's 15 years old, and maybe could disguise it, but it wouldn't sound as himself. Saying that he catched a cold could had given the story a more belivable point.

Second; his clothing.

Really? I mean.... How does her mother let him weal all thoose clothes, specially inside?
The beanie could hide the ears, flexing them, but the rigid horn would poke the fabric.

And when Miss Dalemore told him to take all the winter clothing out, and their friends told her that ridiculous excuse and it worked... *insert bull excrement related curse word here* (Also, how do you put shoes on if you have hooves?)

The scene with his friends... Well, pretty much the same thing. Execpt that this time he has not a bowl to hide his face. The beanie and scarf could hide a big part of his face, but not all of it.

I like the story, but it needs a lot of work.

Uh... Well... As I said... The story itself is not bad, but how it is developing.... It just seems rushed and mechanical. His friends and familly just are... Surprised? Well, if one of my friends, child (if I had one) or myself turned into an anthro (even if it was my favourite character) "surprised" or "absoutly freaked out" would be nothing but a HUGE understatement.

What's wrong with his parents? "My son has turned into a purple pony hybrid, and now is a girl? Of course I am not the least freaked out! In fact, son, I mean daughter, lets get you some girl clothes! Also, change your name"

I don't think that's how any parent would act at all.

I don't want to be a dick but think about it.

Normal is over rated anyway. :raritywink: I'll bet it's Celestia or Luna behind most of this. :trollestia:

Yes. Me again. I know I might be a pain in the hindquarters, but here I come.

If the story is set in first person, you shouldn't suddenly jump to third. It feels strange and out of place.

Also, try not to drift away from the original plot, because it can ruin the story pretty fast.

I like the story and it's getting interesting.

7880816 I'll work on that okay ( I don't care about it "suddenly" jumping between different persons) also IT IS a part of the main plot, I said below in the author's note that it's a mix of the main plot and my OWN interest.

Even a ship being wrecked couldn't destroy them.

I don't really think that's something to brag about. I mean, it's not really the Elements themselves in direct harm, it's the ship. They'd act like any other piece of jewelry, it's not like they're gonna melt or anything.

7880458 I really don't like that kind of nitpicking (it doesn't need a lot of work)

Firstly, I did explain that the weather was cold so she did have an excuse to wear it. And the mother isn't very strict on what needs to be worn in the house. The horn isn't a great deal big either that's why I used a beanie to cover it up (Also on a side note please tell me how else someone is going keep from seeing their body as an anthro alicorn? It wouldn't easy)

Secondly, I can get the whole bullshit excuse thing, but it was only thing I could think of (also i never said she WAS wearing shoes, in fact anyway in the story)

Thirdly, I'll just say that like I a lot of Tv shows, the other characters are oblivious to the main character's appearance

I don't really want to bother with fixing such small things that others haven't bothered to do. No story on this site is perfect, yes not even the greatest are flawless so why must you do it to one of my stories.

7880618 Um no I won't "think" about it. After the friends learn of his secret, it does go to his parent's finding out and I did imply that it was shocking to learn, But I also said that his parent's aren't the type to freak over things on a overreacted scale. Not every household would react the same way to something like this.

Just stop trying to break apart my story because it doesn't appeal to what needs to be "executed" properly or what ever. If you want to do a story like this, then go right ahead.

7881186 You would be surprised at what damage some things can get from a ship colliding full on with the beach. Especially a wooden one, also the box maybe "silver" but it's not made of metal, it's wood. I just forgot to add that in.

7876666 Got any safe pics for the anthro mane 6, mostly applejack?

I can just imagine hearing Tara Strong's Twilight Sparkle voice when you write for Twilight.

7881227 Still, even it's just wood, if they built them correctly they should fulfill their purpose and protect what's in them. And wasn't this box magically sealed? It's either they built this box to be strong to protect what was inside, or they knew they didn't need some flimsy wood to protect the Elements. The sun and moon on the box, and the alicorn or unicorn figurehead on the ship and the cutie marked sails would suggest that the constructors of said objects knew what they were dealing with. In one scenario, the box is basically indestructible because magic and/or being sturdy, and the other scenario is that the elements are already indestructible because magic and they don't even need the box, which would be just for show. Unless it turns out that all of that is some kind of coincidence and those elements have 'made in china' engraved on the back, which I highly doubt. Unless those sneaky chinaman have been using magic all this time.

7881673 It's easy to find them: go to Derpibooru, use the search function, type "unguligrade anthro, applejack, safe" (unguligrade means that they have hands, I think. It's my preferred one, though for general anthro, just use anthro).
Here's some I choose specifically:
https://derpibooru.org/514711?scope=scpe7c2db08a6b3dfdc6df4d309056955c7b728be5a3
https://derpibooru.org/1314317?scope=scpe446b15b32bf42776c22d40bff86d751a5364137a
https://derpibooru.org/720992?scope=scpe7c2db08a6b3dfdc6df4d309056955c7b728be5a3
For whatever reason, there's some things in the safe section that I would classify as suggestive...

I have now read this chapter, and have this to say: it was horribly rushed and made little to no logical sense. You will have most likely lived with your mother your whole life, so that even if you're 15, she should be able to recognize the voice and tell if it's not you. Second, male voices are drastically different from female voices, and just deepening it won't allow you to sound the same as a male unless they have a high pitched voice, and even then there are some tonal differences that are hard to mask. It's harder to do when you have to copy a specific voice because you're around people who have known that voice for a long time. Secondly, there's the eyes. Purple, believe it or not is not a natural eye color, and most people don't have eyes the size or shape of ponies. Also, you went through things way to quickly with no smooth and easy transitions.

Again, horribly rushed, with many errs in spelling and grammar, and incorrect word usage. For example:

Thankfully John's parents understood the change and gladly accepted his transformation into a part pony being...and a girl. Granted they were a bit stunned at first, "John its okay we believe it's you, no one else would constantly try to argue their way into doing something they wanted, most of the time that is. Anyway of course we find it...unsettling, but its not like you went and turned into a dinosaur or whatever" John's mother rambled.

The character should be way more paranoid.
Put a comma after "Thankfully" and "Granted."
Put a period after "first."
Replace "John its okay we" with "John, it's okay, we..."
Replace "Anyway of" with "Anyways, of..."
Place a comma after "whatever."

There's more in other places, but it's not quite easy to go through the process of copy-pasting it, highlighting the errs, and individually explaining each one when Google Docs has a far better option.

This is very, very rushed, with not enough interesting descriptions and actions to captivate. Also, there's a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. I think that it's generally a good idea to not set up some plot or story, along with characters, only to abandon all but one character and have them just go on some random trip and find some magical artifact without foreshadowing an attempt to search for it at an earlier point. If I write a story, it will seem like the work of an amateur, but when it comes to editing and pointing out how a story is written poorly or if there's problems with the story aspects, spelling, and/or grammar, I am most certainly not an amateur. It's easy to point out mistakes, but harder to make the product in the first place. That's why people often have editors: to point out if it's poorly written, show them there errs, and make suggestions on how it can be better written before it's released.

This is so freaking great! Love it :pinkiecrazy:

I checked Derpibooru for pictures of anthro Twilight, and there certainly are more suggestive ones than I expected, even in TV-Y mode. But, with a bit of filtering and browsing, I picked out a few that I think might suit John as Twilight.

https://derpibooru.org/1271404 - A glum-faced Twilight.
https://derpibooru.org/1270616 - The clothing is good on this one. Feminine, but not "girly" - the way I think a guy-turned-girl might try to dress.
https://derpibooru.org/1255741 - school uniform Twilight.
https://derpibooru.org/1174931 - fancy outfit magic rage mode Twilight.
https://derpibooru.org/1142619 - The scarf reminds me of John's disguise. Plus it's adorable.
https://derpibooru.org/1116867 - There are a few variants of this, but this was the most masculine one. There's also a school uniform version, because Twilight.
https://derpibooru.org/1065402 - Japanese school uniform Twilight.
https://derpibooru.org/1001995 - A more masculine-looking Twilight. Acesential does a lot of TG art.
https://derpibooru.org/969088 - Not sure if this one's suggestive or not? I liked it for the uncertain expression.
https://derpibooru.org/956519 - Anime-style Twilight.

Sounds like you have a good story so far. I have already worked on my part. Should I create my story within this one or let you synch it to yours?

7889548 Well you could make your own and it would just sych with mine rather than me taking it for this story even though i didn't write it. But that's up to you.

7889201 Thanks, those look pretty good. I may pick one to fix up the icon

7889201 trying to get a good picture of the anthro mane 6 for my side of the story that goes with lavender heart. It's called Aspects of Harmony.

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