• Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Pascoite


I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.

T
Source

The nightmares started… Twilight can’t remember just when. But they’ve gotten worse and worse, and why won’t Luna help? Now they’ve even stopped bothering her! That scares her more than any nightmare ever did, but that strange voice in her head helps. It makes sense of the dreams, explains to her how the magic can do anything.

If Luna did start all this… she’ll soon regret it.

Cover art by Ruirik

Thanks to GaPJaxie, Corejo, and PresentPerfect, who read over various portions and incarnations of previous drafts. And to Vimbert the Unimpressive, a big reason I wrote this story.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 20 )
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Pascoite i don't recommend putting dates down for your next chapter because both life and sh*t happens and bada bing bada boom and you cant keep the date you posted

7961130 The whole thing's written already. I'm just posting the chapters one per week.

When in the world did I proofread for this? Oh, well. Guess that just means I get to read it fresh. Onward and Upward!

7961282 Finaly someone who gets it

7962158 I went back in the original draft of chapter 1 and see comments you left in August 2013. I'd only put up the first 2 chapters for review by that point, since I wanted Vimbert to have first cut at it.

Finally out i see. You wanted to release it mid-january so it's kinda late, but that's fine, you probably just wanted it to be polished to perfection.

And you even went back and replied to my post under the cover art. Post from NOVEMBER. Only to let me know that the story is out. Thank you, if THAT'S not artist commitment, i don't know what is.

Thank you, for your telling of Fluttershy. For remembering what others forget about her. Meekness is not weakness.

7981582 Oh, definitely. Fluttershy is very strong when she has the proper motivation to be. And Twilight means more to her than her fears do.

She considered herself such a prize, but the real rarity was a pony with Twilight’s talent.

I almost missed that joke.

Dammit! Such a good story!
Have to wait a whole week for the next one though...:fluttercry:

You know, when I first saw this story I thought it'd be longer.

This isn't the ending I wanted, but it's the ending the narrative needed. Maybe the one I needed too.

Honestly, I didn't quite get it. So despite "liking" magic, Twilight was trying to fight/banish a part of this magic(not Dawn Ember part, I mean)?

8067140
I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, as this completely slipped my mind.

I'm not sure where your confusion lies, but based on your question, I'm guessing it's one of two things. Either you're wondering why Twilight originally cast out Ember as a filly, or you're wondering why Twilight's battling her magic in the present. To the first one, Twilight didn't do it intentionally. Her magic acted of its own volition because it saw Ember as a threat to it attaining its full power, so it got rid of her. To the second, Twilight does love magic, but she realizes it's taking control of her, and she's losing her ability to do anything about it, so she'd rather neutralize it than let it become a danger to everyone. But through Ember, she has the possibility of regaining her ability to control it.

I have given up reading halfway through this chapter, and I feel like explaining why.

The first two chapters were... I'm out of superlatives here. Near darn perfect in their portrayal of Twilight's perspective shift. The dreams indistinguishable from reality not only by Twilight but also by the reader. Cold but logical and clearly motivated reaction to the outside world. It's... evocative. Excellent. Engrossing. Exemplary.

I was disappointed to learn that the explanation for what's happening is literally "it's magic". You could have used the Nightmare, but went for the literal epitome of non-explanations? Seriously?!

Then Chapter 3 happened and accomplished very little in its 6.5k words. The same consequences and character development could have been accomplished in 1.5k, without even leaving Canterlot. Now I'm halfway through chapter 4 and we're learning about a prodigious filly with a very special kind of magic... at which point the story starts to look increasingly like "Eternal" - an emotional romp without any underpinning logic or a point to make, weighted down by subplots and characters that should have been cut for time.

Which is not to say the story is bad - there is audience for stuff like "Eternal". It's just not for me.

8871948
Interesting that you wanted it to be the Nightmare. because the people pre-reading it for me were prepared to be very angry if it did turn out to be the Nightmare, since they would have considered that a cop-out.

Damn... this fic is AMAZING.

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