For Ever
ബഐബഐബഐ H.K. ബഐബഐബഐ
Wait, what? Why am I back here? I pondered as I looked around to see that I was a strangely quiet forest. The last time I was in a place like this I was on the cusp of death and was only saved because of the Spike's shield gem. This time there was no way that the gem had any chance of saving me... Great power the gem had, but not against dozens of ley lines. Never mind that Discord had pulled Spike, along with the gem, back away from the tower and thus away from me... With nothing else to do I began to walk through the trees, and if everything goes like last time then after a short walk I should enter a clearing.
As expected it wasn't long before I broke through the trees and into a meadow. I looked up to see storm clouds obscuring the sky except for Draco, confirming that I was in the same place as before... Wherever exactly that was... It still didn't explain why though.
I only managed a few steps further before I could hear the roar of a dragon and though it was faint it sounded like it was the same white dragon from before. I also wasn't entirely sure, but he sounded pissed. I stopped and waited and not a moment later a second roar broke out again only much closer. Much to my chagrin it seemed to be coming from all directions leaving me unable to tell where he was coming from. At least I could confirm he was angry, though again I found myself wondering why.
I kept looking around, ready for anything, which was good as a moment later he burst though the trees behind me, roaring as he did. A quick look made confirm my eairler guess that he was mad and somehow he looked even more enraged then before. Unfortunately, this time I didn't have a wall of flames to 'protect' me.
Speaking of flames I had to immediately jump to the side, barely missing the dragon's flames, flames that were extremely odd and something that I had never seen in a dragon in a combat situation, a two toned flame. And more specifically green and purple. What is with this dragon? To my surprise he did not slow down jumping right through the flames, using it as cover to try and pounce on me.
Damn, he is fast... I noted as I rolled to the side, avoiding his claws. But why was he attacking me? I freed him, which according to The Voice was all he ever wanted.
I yelped as I was suddenly pulled back and onto my haunches. I looked back to see that he had some how snagged my tail with his trident tail wrapping it around like spaghetti on fork?! How'd he managed to do without me knowing and in one fell swoop? For one being imprisoned for so long he knew how to fight claw to hoof with me and dirty too as he immediately slammed his claw against my head.
"I don't understand! I freed you!" I yelled out as I leapt away from another valley of flames and quickly sidestepped the pounce that came from the opposite direction that one would expect.
"If only that was true..." A voice echoed out.
I know that voice. It was the voice of my father or, to be more accurate, The Voice as my father. I looked around trying to find the source, which was hard given that I was still under attack by the dragon. I finally caught him behind me and he looked disappointed and almost... sad. Understandable as not only I failed him but I did something, again, that no dragon would dare to do... even though I have no idea how.
"So why did you go back on your word?" He casually asked as the dragon and I continued our fight.
"I don't even know how I 'imprisoned' him the 'first' time!" I snapped, dodging a tail swipe followed by a burst of flame.
"You don't see it?" The Voice tilted his head. "I would have thought that it would have been clear..."
"I didn't exactly have time..." I paused as I was nearly butted by a crown of horns. "Time to figure out the puzzle of him when I..."
"He is you H.K..." The Voice explained, interrupting me, "or at least should have been..."
What?! I blinked, completely lost. I didn't have to be Luna to see the uncanny parallels pointing to the distinct possibility of him being some sort representation of me but for him to be, be but also should have been?
I hissed suppressing a cry of pain as the dragon took advantage of my distraction and slashed his claws painfully and deeply across my flank. Thankfully the Voice snaked down his head, blocking the dragon from attacking further. Though I wasn't sure if that was better at he it almost felt as he was looking through and past my mind and to my very soul.
"...and I don't mean figuratively or symbolically."
"What?!"
"He was to be you." The Voice repeated, gently putting a claw on my injury for a second before rising up to his full height.
"What?!" I repeated, almost not noticing that my injury was partially healed.
"Your soul can't withstand being apart of me... and with you dying... My Eternal Flames will burn your soul to ash."
"Are you saying..." I gulped, my mind already going to the worst of possibilities.
"Jā, trīz, jūsu tvēsele cktārtrauüs cktastāvēt."
"...trīz, jūsu tvēsele cktārtrauüs cktastāvēt."
Soon, your soul will cease to exist...
...your soul will cease to exist...
..cease to exist...
The world around me spun for a moment before I collapsed, unable to stand under the weight of what he said. I now knew why I was here but it was far worse then just dying, my soul would soon cease to exist, no Pasturelands, no dragon afterlife... no any afterlife, just nothing... "But you said that I was worthy because I passed the Rite of Guardianship." I countered, desperate to find a loophole, hoping that somehow there was some mistake on The Voice's part.
"I said you were worthy not that you would be able... you need to be dragon in soul not just be touched by its magic..."
"You knew that this could happened when you sent me didn't you." I flatly challenged. Though I wanted to be angry, I wanted to rage, but I just couldn't. Even if I had been told I would have still gone. I just wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I let the world burn just to save myself.
"Yes... No parent should lose a child and... and... it never should have..." The Voice choked up walking a few steps away from me and looking up at Draco. "As you know the Rite of Guardianship gives the ability of a sibling to hatch their siblings. But given you are an alicorn it had an additional effect on you."
"An ascension spell..." I whispered out as figured out where he was going.
"After a manner. Though much more riskier and harder given that a dragon and pony soul are very different... far more different then going from one... tribe to another..." The Voice explained patting my double's head, who had stalked up while he was talking and leaned into him.
"What should had happen was that a blank dragon soul was to be birth within you then over time the two would resonant to the point that they essentially become the same. It was then, and only then, like sand in an hourglass, the essence from the alicorn half would fall away..."
I glanced over to look at my double who was now staring at me. Our eyes locked for a brief moment before he blinked and and turned away.
"But it didn't work like it should have... It was only in times of great peril, when your life was but a flicker, when your defenses were down, did you and he... I may have been able help if I was still tethered... then maybe..."
I sighed, looking down in shame. I failed the task he gave me and worse I'm not even sure at this point if I stopped the leyonic disaster or not... "I'm sorry, I failed... I just wasn't able to..."
"Failed? I can feel the warmth of the flames of my children... the secret voices of their hearts..." I hardly could hear what he said. 'Feel the warmth of the flames of my children... the secret voices of their hearts...' The way he was talking he made it seem that he was reconnected to the living plane? How!? I suppose it was possible that the cascade was all that was needed... Not that I had any idea how to retether him as it was. "However, if anything, you did fail your brother Spike..."
"I know..." I sighed. "I wish I could have done things diff..."
A large ember like those that sometimes fly out of a bonfire had floated in my face, surprising me. Where did that come from?! Did the wild fire that was once here return? It was when a second one floated up, right in front of my nose that I realized where that ember came from and what it meant.
"It is beginning..." The Voice spoke, his voice trembling as we watch more embers rise into the sky and disappear.
"Can I lie with you like we used to one last time?" I whispered, trying not to tear up again. I just didn't want to think about what was to come, I didn't want to think at all. I just wanted to just be family... for a bit longer...
ബഐബഐബഐബഐബഐബഐ
The white dragon watched as The Voice closed his eyes allowing a single tear to crash down his snout. Then, without another word from either The Voice took H.K. in his paws and placed him on his head, slowly laid down, and curled up.
They did nothing but sit there and watched as more pieces of H.K.'s soul burned away. before long H.K. was gone as a final ember floated up. The Voice reached out to, but before he could touch it it darkened and faded away. He kept his claw stretched out for a moment before he withdrew it, clenching it hard.
It was then that the white dragon back away in fear. He knew the power The Voice possessed and he had no idea what he might do in his anger. He nearly fled in fright when The Voice let out an anguished roar that shook him to his nonexistent bones. Than in a look that would haunt him for a long time The Voice gaze snapped down to him. Within those fierce eyes he saw the Eternal Flames themselves.
Izvēlies!
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If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
8555773
The Voice(as H.K.'s father): Johnny Cash from 'Hurt"
The Voice(when he talks in this manner): like a multitude of voices speaking as one...(almost like the Borg from star trek but not robotic) leaning towards male.
Twixt'd: a cliched stereotypical African american teen from the inner city.
H.K.: is a bit trickier as I hear him as a more commanding me, at least voice wise... Aragon from LOTR is fairly close.
Smaug is shagohad12's and SIlver is oasis shotz 678's so no idea on them.
The dragon definitely is HK, for sure. "You broke your promise!" "You didn't give me the information required to fulfill the promise and let me continue with the misconceptions making it impossible for me to succeed." "S-so? Still your fault!"
Also, where did that white dragon come from at the end? Was that supposed to be him? If so, you never mentioned the color beforehand. Why is The Voice angry(instead of a more appropriate emotion like anguish, which you use later only after you focus on how it's all anger)? Is it a real dragon, I thought it was a spirit?
Was the plan always to kill HI? Even if it worked right? Because you, in previous stories, always really focused on how the multiple parts of someone were basically different beings so killing one part was a significant death.
8556976
Uh, no. Though I can see the confusion.
Yes.
Spoilers See the blog post titled Comparing a ABBB and Keeper Character for more... but only if you don't mind possibly massive spoilers for the Keeper Trilogy (obvious this warning is not for you RadicalDishonesty)
8557443
I meant it as a joke, but I also wasn't really joking. They already share the fundamental trait "make unreasonable demands and self-centeredly blame others when their miscommunication fails."
I... don't know if that's intentional on your part or not. You write a lot of character traits I that are intensely negative, like a lot of HK's attitude, that he really should not get away with, but you make everyone around him tolerate and basically respect his bad attitude and stuff.
Mentioning it once six months and about forty thousand words ago is not sufficient. You need a reminder in this chapter badly.
Not what I was asking, but I understand the confusion. I meant: Was the Voice's plan always to kill HK. Is what it intended to happen, with the "slow" replacement of his soul "death"?
Honestly, you're right.
My issue with the scene was really something else: The way the white dragon reacts.
Because, to be honest, I just rolled my eyes at the scene. You write a lot of "Someone was angry for unreasonable reasons and everyone trembled in fear." Every time you want to establish someone as a badass.
In this case, it refocuses the scene. Instead of it being about the grief, it's about how scary powerful the character is and how terrified the dragon is. And, like I said, I'm predisposed to dislike that kind of display.
8557562
Yeah he tends to be a karmic Houdini... but not this time
No that wasn't The Voice's plan at all. At no point did H.K. have to do the Rite of Guardianship... it was merely a consequence of it.
Was the Voice angry at the white dragon? no. Was the white dragon afraid of what the Voice might do in his grief induced anger, yes. As for what haunted the white dragon it was the Eternal Flames... the very thing that killed H.K. and Spoilers. I guess i didn't make it clear... A disadvantage of not having an editor/proof reader to check for stuff like this... I have made an edit that hopefully fixes some of the issue in the tone though I don't want to get rid of it all as it is a set up for later...
8557627
Didn't make what clear? You made it clear he was afraid of The Voice, and there was the mention of the Eternal Flames, and I had no problem with the latter, so I didn't say anything about it.
And, the one thing I will say is necessary: reinforce the dragon that was intended to be HK is white at the beginning of the chapter.
8557647 okay I really need sleep because I completely missed what you were after... I can fix that really quick
edit fixed
8557673
Readers don't have an easy time remembering new characters's appearances after all. Best to use it often enough at the beginning of scenes and such.
8557917 And hence why I wish I had an editor... Hopefully I'll remember for next time...