• Member Since 12th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 23rd, 2017

Sean Shamrock

Who gives a shot anymore my stories suck and none of them are good, not to mention I have no reason to call myself an author or writer

Comments ( 18 )

congrats i am your first thumbs up and god damn that was beautiful :raritywink:

i can tell you that there are some grammatic failures, for example:

She yells out before twitching as she cummed all over the bed and let the tub fall out as she laid back and panted.

it should be "came"

The warmth from her body soon made it’s way to you as you smiled and rubbed her neck.

it should be "its"

other than that, great story. :pinkiehappy:

7851825 Thank You for The help. The new proof read bot I use on google docs is REALLY confusing so I may invest in human proofreading however that may set back my my publish date.

Story number 360000, congratulations! Your fic is worth 1000 Xbox 360s!
and yet you finished it before mine which comes right before so i feel inferior

7884794 Haha my apologies for the inconvenience. Also it's good to once again hear praises of my stories. Especially after my long ass hiatus.

Are any of them able to have kids?

7951042 I never thought that far in Advance because these started off as One Offs but now that's gone out the window with Applejacks and Celestias story. So I may reference that in the next one. However I'm very busy with commissions and a furry story I'm writting.

7951613 cool and incase you missed it you've gained a follower

7951618 I've noticed, thank you so much.

Much yes, very good. You win a mustach.:moustache:

I enjoyed It. My only gripes are that it was a little rushed, Definitely could have added more to flesh out the bits before the travel to the C.E. and while they were there. and only noticed a few spots where you should have added comas. but other than that Good job. :twilightsmile:

8020022 Haha ya my grammar and shit isn't the best simply because I wanna teach myself to write properly to prove I don't need college.

8033612 Definitely feel ya. The main thing I would Put more focus on is just adding more meat to future stories.
Even though you probably already knew what I meant on more build up, I still wanted to give a better explanation on the bits I was specifically referring to.
From my perspective on it in very brief note summary:
1. Human enters equestria
2. Cel thinks human is cute (kinda self explanitory, but could use a little more plot development.)
3. Work for me (could have added a Multi-day progression where they notice each other more and grow fonder of eachother but they hold back on it rather then to acknowledge it, Moar plot development)
4. awkward cuddles on train
5. Crystal empire. Enter cadance. Heart declares love.
6. Sexy time and final declaration of love.

felt there should have been more build up on the 'crushing and do I lover her/him' on numbers 2&3, and possibly early on for number 5. The rest was fine as it was.

Definitely better than the Nuclear warhammer of i's I never noticed when I was writing my story. I got ton's of editing to do. :pinkiecrazy:

8033665 actually if you have the time I'm about to start writing on Google docs and can give you the link if you wanna do a live look at the story and give me a hand. I'll credit you and everything.

8033702 I wont have time tonight, same for the next couple of days due to editing and revisions on a story of mine. BUT, if you do need help and want me to take a look so I can offer some advice when you need it, send me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. As for crediting, I honestly don't care if you do or don't, that's all on you.

She should had give him a choice on how to pay for the damages instead of forcing him to serve as her guard.

Ya, I'm not gonna lie I WAS NOT happy with how this turned out, I was in a rush to write some Sunbutt Smutt, I'll more than likely CHange the name and rewrite it.

Good story. So who's next: Ember, Thorax, Luna, or Starlight Glimmer.

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