• Published 5th Jul 2012
  • 4,407 Views, 492 Comments

Leather-Winged Oddity - Deyeaz



More often than not, we don't always become what we want when we go to Equestria.

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XVIII - Screw Your Red Carpet! I Brought My Own!

Leather-Winged Oddity

XVIII - Screw Your Red Carpet! I Brought My Own!

Canterlot is, by far, one of the largest and most regal cities in Equestria that I have yet to see.

There’s just something about that place that simply wails “fancy”, such as the well-dressed ponies that traipse the white stone roads, the miraculous houses and mansions, or the immaculate castle of Canterlot that sits at the edge of the city. Even from far away, every single stone that make up the city gleams like diamonds caught in the light.

And here I sit in my bunk, my right hand gripping my newly-acquired quill and parchment, with a green ribbon this time.

Dear Hollow,

I’m writing to you in the hopes that we can tell one another about our going-ons. How are you? How are Elie and Eve doing?

I take it that perhaps Pinkie Pie threw one of her miraculous parties to welcome you three, eh? Well, that’s swell. I honestly hope that you three enjoyed yourself.

Listen: you’re probably wondering why I did that whole bananas thing earlier today. If so, brace yourself, a long explanation is coming.

You see, it’s actually an internet meme founded by bronies... and you’re probably what a brony is, now that I mentioned it.

A brony is, essentially, a fan of the new Generation 4 My Little Pony show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" by Lauren Faust (creator of Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.” It mostly refers to the older male viewers of the show, but female fans use it too. A Brony is generally pretty involved in the community at large. It Typically refers to 13-30 year old male fans of the 2010 reboot of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but may also include females known as “pegasisters”.

In layman terms, brony = bro + pony, and pegasister = pegasus + sister.

While generally associated with a negative stereotype by outsiders, due to it's former 80's frilly, girly-girl, twinkle-toed, tea-parties and all-female main casting, bronies are attracted to the new show by its good animation, acting, writing, and humor. Having once been on the outside, bronies can love and tolerate others until they themselves become bronies. However, haters gonna hate— most likely due to the fact that they have a masculinity inferiority complex, where they believe that if they watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, others like them will label them as an effeminate freak.

It’s true. There are people out there, and they’re scattered all across the globe of both Earth and Equus, this planet.

But enough of my drivel.

What I actually want to say is that I hope your adventures on finding your fragments becomes a success, and that I will be cautious of this Xolhowl that you mentioned earlier.

Sincerely,

~Damien O’Connor

I sigh in content as I wrap up the scroll with the green ribbon and tie it up. I place my hand and hold Ellipsis tightly. “Submitto ad Hollow.”

The scroll hovers a few feet, and starts to sparkle, but it falls back on the bunk with a weird flatulent sound, like what you would get out of a whoopie cushion.

Aaaand just like that, the ponies on board start glaring at me in disgust and disappointment.

“...I didn’t do it,” I say stupidly.

“Uh-huh. Sure...” With that out of the way, the crowd of equines stop glaring at me and face forward.

I don’t get it... why didn’t the scroll get sent? Maybe Hollow can’t use magic...?

If that’s the case....

“Submitto ad.... Eve.” This time, the scroll bursts into flame and disappears with a pop.

“Psst!” I call to the Bast resting in the bunk above me as the train starts to slow down. Kaileena leans over the edge and faces me whilst her head is upside-down. Now that I see it, Kaileena actually has hair; why I don’t notice it is probably because said hair blends in with her fur, but it’s actually long enough to announce itself when pulled or disturbed. The hair is just the length of a regular forearm, by the looks of it. To be honest, it looks kind of nice on her.

“What is it?” She asks, destroying my train of thought about her hair.

“Listen, I was thinkin... when we get off the train, do ya wanna make an entrance o’ some sort?” I suggest to her. She contemplates the situation, putting a hand to her chin. Unfortunately, that makes her lose her handling on the bed’s frame, and she slips out of it, landing on the ground with a yelp and a thud. The passengers all look at her in concern; some even ask if she is okay.

But me?

“PFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!”

I’m sorry, but... hot damn, that was funny!

“Yeah, yeah, yuk it up, you bastard...” she murmurs grumpily as I help her up. She dusts herself off just as the train finally pulls into the Canterlot train station.

“So, what’s yer answer?” I ask. The Bast once again churns the decision in her head, by the looks of it. Hell, I almost thought I could hear the cogs in her feline brain turning. Once the train’s slow traversion becomes even slower, she nods once.

“Sure. But, uh... how do you wish to go about it?” she inquires as the train now comes to a complete stop. I motion for her to come closer, and she obliges by leaning her head in, giving us the ability to talk quietly without being overheard.

“Here’s th’ plan...”


‘Tis a perfect day for the ponies of Canterlot.

The ponies that litter the streets trot across the cobblestone, speaking with one another on whatever topics that cross their minds. A few are gathering at the train station to meet with each one’s respective relatives to welcome them into the city.

When the ponies on board the train vacate the train, each of their friends or family members greet them with great gusto.

However, the equines soon come across a strange oddity as they got closer to the train.

“...where’s that music coming from?” One of them asked.

Almost at once, one of the weirdest creatures anypony has ever seen bursts through one of the doors: the creature has a fleshy appearance with a patch of black fur on his head and a smaller patch on his chin. He is donned in a sky blue tunic with silver trimming, along with white pants and undershirt. The hood of the tunic flaps in the wind with the loincloth, bearing a red eye crying out a lone tear of blood. The wings on the monster’s head were leathery and draconic, yet the hind legs appeared to be of that of an eagle.

Even weirder, he is singing.

"Ahhhhhhhhh

Ya ya yaaaah

Ya ya yaaah

Yaaah ya yah

"Ohohohohoooo

Oh ya yaaah

Ya ya yaaah

Yaaah ya yah

He starts to stroll down the station, a black-and-white cat-like figure wearing a purple skirt and tunic, and a yellow shawl around her neck and her hips holding his hand. He stops in the middle of a clearing of ponies, who were looking at him and smiling at the song, some even doing a little jig or two.

"Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh

Ye-ye-yeh

Ye-ye-yeh

Ohohohohoh

"Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh

Ye-ye-yeh

Ye-ye-yeh

Ohohohohooooooooooo

Aaaaoooooh aaaooo

Hooo haha

He goes about skipping in a circle around the clearing with the cat biped, waving at the many ponies that he passes by. A few giggle, others turn their nose up in snootiness.

"Nah nah nah nah

Nuh nuh nuh

Nuh nuh nuh

Nuh nuh nuh

Nuh nuh nah!

He stops dramatically in the middle of the clearing.

"Nah nah nah nah nun

Nun-ah nun

Nun-ah nuh

Nah nah nah nah nah!

"Nah nah nah nah Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dah dah daaaaaaaaaah...

Da-da-dah....

Daaah..

Da-dah...

He does a little bit of a quick dance with taking care not to cut her feet with his talons.

"Lololololoooooooooooooo!

"Lah la-laaah

La la laaah

lol

haha

"Ohohohoho

ho-ho-ho

ho-ho-ho

oh-ho-ho-ho-ho

"Ohohohoho

ho-ho-ho

ho-ho-ho

Lololololooo...

He throws his head back and raises his voice and pitch.

"AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee-eeeee-EEEEEEEEE!"

He lowers his tone, giving it a deep bass pitch.

"Luh-luh-lah...

Lah

Lah-lah"

He returns his voice to a normal pitch.

“Ohohohohooooooooo!

BOPadudududu-dah-da-du-daaaah!

Da-da-daaaah

Daaah

Da-daaah...

“Lololololo

lololo

lololo

Lalalalah!

“Trololololo

lalala

lalala

“Oh-hahaha-ho!"

He points at a random mare, who giggles at the gesture.

“Haha-hehe-ho!"

He points again at another random stallion, who smiles widely.

“Hohoho-he-ho!"

He then points at the cat-like biped next to him.

“Hahahaha-ho!"

He then spreads his arms out and turns to face them all.

“Lolololololo

Lolololololo

Lolololololo

Lololo-LOL!

The whole crowd can’t help but also sing along with it.

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

La-la-laaaah!

La la laaaah

Laaaah

La-lah...

“Ohohohohoooooooooo!

La, la-laaah!

La-la-laaah

lol-haha...

The song returns to the creature singing again.

“Lololololo

Lololo

Lololo

Ohohohoho!

He beats his leathery wings and ascends several feet, spreading out his hands and spinning slowly as he flies.

“Lololololol

Lololo

Lololo

"Ohohohohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”


Aaaaand the crowd goes wild.

As soon as I land, ponies everywhere around me start cheering their plots off, whistling and stamping against the cobblestone so hard that it almost cracked. I can't help but take a small bow.

Darn colorful equines and their fetish for musical numbers. I’m pretty sure said musical numbers are also one of the many ways to kick the ass of any baddy you come across.

...remind me to sing “Smile, Smile, Smile” whenever I see a dragon or a horde of Diamond Dogs.

At the time, Kaileena had hopped on my back, snapping me out of my reverie of battling with music. With that, I pump my wings and take flight for the second time, landing outside the ring of ponies that had gathered around.

As I land, I notice something, or somepony, rather peculiar...

“WATCH OUT!”

A white pegasus comes rushing towards... ME!

*BAM*

“Sorry... sorry, my apologies, flying’s trickier than I thought...”

“Ow... me everything....” I weakly sputter, my vision rather hazy. “Mummy?” I ask when I lift my head and see the white blurry figure looking at me in curiosity. “Yer not mummy...”

“No, I’m afraid I’m not.” The figure says.

“...Thank God.” I thump my head against the floor, but that awakens a headache in the back of my brain.. Fortunately, Kaileena gets up first and helps me to my claws. I shake my head to clear it of the dizziness. When I look for any damage, I spy an angry purple bruise developing on my chest.

How friggin' hard did he hit me?!

At once, the pegasus who had slammed into me with the strength of a wrecking ball changes shape and turns into a white unicorn, offering a smile. I jump back slightly at the transformation.

‘HOLY FLIPPIN’ BEJEEZUS, IT’S A CHANGELING.’

“Sorry sorry, again... that looks like a nasty bruise... let me take care of that, OK?” The unicorn mutters a few words and, just like that, the purple bruise grows lighter in shade until it disappears. I let a low whistle at the kind gesture.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Notus Eques, magician.”

“Nice ta meet ya, too, Notus. Name’s Damien O’Connor: Devil Imp,” I greet, shaking his hoof in earnest. “This here’s Kaileena.” I point at the Bast to my right, and she waves, grinning widely.

“So, you new here or something?” I nod.

“Mm-hmm. What about you?” I then ask.

“Came to Canterlot a few days ago. It’s a decent place, though...” His face darkens as if he was trying to turn purple. “I have a rather selfish master whose roof I live under.” He shakes his head, as if to tell of his misfortune.

“Selfish master, ya say?” Notus nods. “Why don’cha try an’... fight fer yer freedom?”

He stares blankly at me. “Well... it’s mostly a magical contract that’s the problem. Plus, she’s selfish, but there’s something about her that... you know.”

“Ah.” I nod in understanding. “Well, if ya ever complete the deeds the contract binds ya to (if any), then yer welcome ta come with us.”

A hoarse laugh rings out. “We’ll see... If I might be so forward to ask, what business do you have here?” He prods me for answers.

“I’ve come here ta purchase a better prosthetic than this one.” I hold up my left arm and knock on it sharply with the right hand, adding emphasis to the statement.

“Ah, well here’s some advice, avoid the nobility as much as possible.”

I suppress a shudder at the word “nobility”. Of course, after seeing that twat Prince Blueblood acting like... well, a twat at the Grand Galloping Gala, I’ve never been more angry and spiteful towards rich people, besides Bill Gates, of course: that guy’s like a nerdy Messiah.

“It’s not just disrespect and haughtiness you’ll find with that bunch, there are unsavory secrets and a dark zealousness you’ll find with them, so less you see of them, the better,” Notus presses on.

“Don’t worry about a thing, lad,” I assure Notus, who smiles a bit. “But forgive me for me rudeness, but... what are ya?” Notus raises a brow. “I mean, you’re not too much of a jackass ta be a changeling.”

“...What makes you think changelings are like that? I’ve only seen them in textbooks and grimoires, mind you, but have you had a bad run in with them?”

“Well, no.” I clear my throat before asking, “Have ya ever heard of a show called ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?’”

I almost recoil, thinking that Notus would find me to be a sissy... not exactly the best way to start becoming acquaintances.

“Absolutely not, I read fantasy stories as a hobby, I find ponies fascinating with their magical potential, though, so I’m sure it would have been something I could get behind.”

Whew! I didn’t just dodge a bullet: I barely avoided a large fucking nuke.

“Well... this universe is based off o’ that television show, if ya didn’t know about it. In one o’ th’ episodes, creatures known as changelings made a huge debut in the season two finale. Changelings are basically insectoid-like ponies that take th’ shape o’ someone ya love, and they feed on that love, making their victim weaker as time progresses,” I explain.

Now, I have just implanted in your minds why you should all suspect your friends to be changelings. Enjoy the paranoia, my bastard children.

Notus freezes, as if he just realized something and then continues onward. “I’m a familiar, a creature made of magic, with all the benefits of being essentially magic, especially with spell-casting.”

“So that explains the shape-shifting.” Notus nods.

“Through the contract and knowledge of anatomy of various species, I can rearrange my body to match the physical appearance of creatures I’ve seen, copying their abilities is a little out of my reach though... for now.”

Notus stares at me. “Forgive my boldness, but, are you human?”

I nod. “Aye.” I stick out my hand again and summon Ellipsis. With a flash of blinding light, the scythe appears in my hand again. Notus jumps back in surprise.

“Gah!”

“Relax!” I say. “I’m not gonna hurt ya.” I put my left hand to my chin, pondering the next words wisely. So far, magic is able to be performed through Latin. But how do I become a human again? Not that I don’t love this badass form of mine, but still.

So... I want to revert to my “true form”. True, in Latin, is “versa” or “versus”; form is “forma”. To return to my Devil Imp form, all I have to do is say "Reverti", or revert. As I’ve learned from Spanish and other languages, the adjective comes after the noun. So...

“Forma versus.” At my words, a flash of light appears and swarms me from all sides. The light subsides a second later, and I examine my body. Thankfully, I’m still in my clothes from before my sudden arrival here: storm grey eyes, black baggy cargo pants with a few steel chains, purple Converse sneakers, and a navy blue Princess Luna T-shirt concealed w/ a white hoodie.

And hallelujah! My arms have returned!

Notus is silent. “So it is possible...” He asks another question, “Do you have a god who talks to you constantly?”

“Er, not exactly constantly, but she pops in from time to time,” I explain as I regretfully return to my original body with a simple "Reverti."

Like right now?

‘...Yes, Nut, like right now.’ If goddesses could do a troll face, I'm sure Nut would be pulling one as we speak.

Sorry for interrupting you two.

‘Don’t worry about it.’

“So what about you?” I then ask: “what god or goddess likes to yammer on an’ on in yer head?”

Notus blinks, “His name is White Hat, Phenomenon of Heroes and he talks all the time...” Notus buries his hooves in his face.

“I’m sorry for yer pain, lad,” I put my hand on his shoulder and pat it reassuringly.

He accepts the reassuring pat. “If you’re looking for someone to make a body for you, I know a puppeteer who would be more than happy to make you some limbs, he’s rather hard to work with, but I can speak for his craft.”

“Thanks, Notus.” I say.

“We really appreciate your kindness,” Kaileena backs up.

Notus regards me with a warm smile. “No problem, we have to look out for each other right?”

“In this hellhole of a world? We’ll need all the help we can get.”

“In th’ meantime,” I continue, “take care, Notus. We need to up and go to the castle to find Princess Luna.” WHO IS BEST PONY.

For once, Brain, I agree.

How come I’M not best pony?

Because you’re not a pony.

...Damn

Notus waves a hoof, “If you’re interested in a limb dealer, then there’s a pony in Canterlot called True Pariah, the best of the business, you can meet him in several dark alleys.”

“How can I know which one’s actually True Pariah an’ not just an imitator or th’ typical dealer?”

Notus sighs. “He’ll be the weirdo smashing a wall, drinking coffee, slurping green slime and screaming profanities over his lack of inspiration.” Notus murmurs with a deadpan voice.

“Ah. I see.”

Note to self: Pariah ain’t nothin’ ta fuck with.

“Well... see you later, Damien.”

“See ya around, Notus!” I call as we both go to our separate ways, him walking down the street, and me and Kaileena walking up the street.

OK, so... four humans have been found: Echo, the mute Diamond Dog; Khajiit, the brown one-armed Bast; Hollow, a Samurai Nobody; and finally Notus Eques;

With the agenda of finding a new arm now facilitated (despite my disappointment of not seeing Woona), me and Kaileena set off to find True Pariah.

Now, is it me, or does it feel like I've just sent myself on a wild goose chase?

But alas, that question remains unanswered, for I had just coincidentally bumped into two rather... familiar ponies....

Er... quite literally.

"Good heavens, sir! Are you alright?"


I don't own Notus Eques: he belongs to Proud_Dust.