Beauty Is Where You Find It

by Verdigris

A Life in the Balance

Chapter 1

(((())))

Hawkfeather waited nervously.

He and his wife Gemstone had had the terrible shock of seeing their foal Bluesky looking very poorly one morning a few months after his birth. His coat had changed from its beautiful blue to a sickly greenish-grey, blotched with copper patches, his wings streaked with blue, grey and black. They’d rushed to Oceanside’s small hospital, with Gemstone in a near-panic. The doctor had taken one look and rushed the foal into intensive care, and Gemstone to a room to sleep after a sedative.

The sea-green Pegasus didn’t need to know anything about medicine to realize his son was in a bad way. The way he fought to draw breath and the strange shiny patches in his eyes told an unpleasant story. He paced, wondering if marrying a Unicorn really had been a bad idea, as everypony said. Cross-species marriages were, at least in Oceanside, considered a bad omen; superstition still ruled some parts of Equestria.

“Hawkfeather?” Doctor Blackhoof’s voice brought him out of his reverie. “I’m afraid I have some bad news,” the charcoal Pegasus said calmly, but he could see the underlying tension.

“How bad?”

“H-he has Trotmund-Hoofson Syndrome. It’s rare, but not unheard-of; it appears mostly in Pegasus-Unicorn crossings. Your son – well, I can’t lie to you. His chances aren’t good. THS kills most foals, and those who survive have serious, sometimes fatal health risks,” the doctor said sympathetically.

“I – I see. Have you told Gemstone?” The doctor nodded. “How common is this?”

“One in a thousand.”

Hawkfeather nodded and looked down the hall. “He’s our first,” he said quietly.

“There’s a chance he’ll recover perfectly, but it’s almost zero. There’s no reason to believe other foals won’t be perfectly normal,” Blackhoof replied, trying to reassure him.

“I – I can’t just let him go,” Hawkfeather said, lowering his head and allowing his voice to carry some of the bitterness he felt. “We tried so hard, and I don’t know what this will do to Gemstone.”

“I know. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this. Most couples – well, those who’ve been through this broke up.”

Hawkfeather looked up at the ceiling. He wasn’t much for praying; most ponies in the Guard or Coast Patrol weren’t, but he didn’t have anything to lose through trying. Princess Celestia, can you help? There has to be something that can be done.

(((())))

Gemstone sat on the bed, holding her hooves together, trying to keep them from shaking. Her first foal, and a colt, so close to dying, so soon after he’d come into the world. She didn’t know what to do. The doctor had been kind, but he couldn’t hide the facts from her and Hawkfeather. Bluesky might die, and there was nothing to be done.

No, there has to be something, she thought desperately. There has to be some way to save him. Her ears perked up, but dropped again. Celestia would be too busy, and might agree with the doctor. Her resolve firmed. But we can’t lose him. What will we have left?

Gemstone walked from the room, and found the shrine dedicated to the Princess. Surely she could do something. Gemstone paused at the altar, glancing up at the stained glass image of Equestria’s ruler and Goddess. “Celestia, I can’t lose him. He’s all we have. If you can do something, anything, please, I’d be forever grateful. I don’t know if we could go on,” she murmured, tears streaking down her face. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

Gemstone stood there, waiting for anything as a sign, hoping for an answer.

(((())))

In Canterlot, Princess Celestia was bored, and frustrated. It seemed every year it was the same issues, brought to her by the same ponies for the same reasons. As though I’d forget. I can’t forget. A pang of sadness never reached her serene face, but the memory was still painful. Luna. I miss you so much. I wish I’d known, and didn’t have to send you away. Another painful memory caused her to blink, but the ponies with her didn’t notice and wouldn’t understand its significance. Sunblur. Firelance. Freewind. I wish I hadn’t failed you. If only I’d thought it through.

As the accountant droned on – why couldn’t they just get to the point? – Celestia felt a familiar mare’s near-despair and heard her fervent plea. A spasm of pain overtook her, causing Bookmark to ask, “Is there something wrong, Princess?”

Celestia was about to say 'no', but a sudden, fierce thought galvanized her. No. I will not do that. Not to her. I will save this precious foal. Gemstone is right; he doesn’t deserve it, and neither do they.

Celestia leapt from her couch, startling the other ponies, her mane and tail flaring brightly as her eyes shone. “No, there’s nothing wrong. Bookmark, do you have the pertinent information?” she replied, her voice soft, but with a ring of steel in it. The change in her was startling: One moment she was quiet, regal and aloof; the next, a very different Princess was there – she was now commanding, and seemed afire with a purpose, ready to spring away at a moments’ notice.

“Y-yes, your Highness, or I can get the rest in a few minutes.”

“Good. We’re finished with this trivia for the moment.”

“Taxes are not trivial,” the chief accountant replied haughtily. “This cannot be put off, your Highness.”

Celestia lowered her head and met his gaze from across the table, her eyes burning. “Anything that does not materially improve the safety and happiness of my ponies is certainly trivial to me. I’m tired of the ridiculous, endless wrangling, T-crossing and I-dotting you seem to enjoy.” She locked eyes with him. “You will do what I’ve brought you here to do. I do not need the endless minutia and constant hair-splitting. You will find a solution that is equitable to all parties; it’s why you’re here. I don't need to hold your hooves; you’re supposedly professionals.” Celestia's gaze bored into the accountant’s eyes. “You will do this, or I will find somepony who can. Understood?” she finished as he flinched.

She didn’t raise her voice, but it was as though she’d shouted. Everypony nodded shakily as Bookmark replied, “I-I will have a summary ready upon your return, your Highness,” he stammered.

“Good. I have far more pressing matters to take care of.”

“What could be more important than Kingdom finances?” an Earth pony asked. It was the wrong time and wrong question.

“Idiot!” The accountant’s assistant found himself lying flat on his back with Celestia standing over him, her face scant inches from his own. “There are many things that were and are always more important than a few bits,” she hissed with barely-restrained fury. “At this moment, one of my ponies is engaged in a fight for his life, and I will not set that aside for any reason. And before you ask why this matters to me, remember what I had to do nigh-on a thousand years ago. That decision haunts me to this day. There is a life in the balance. I cannot and will not ignore that.” She straightened and called, “Surestrike!”

The Captain of the Royal Guard appeared at the door. His eyes widened, but he didn’t react beyond that. “Yes, your Highness?”

“I will be away for the day, possibly longer. See to it this,” she nodded at the table and the documents scattered over it, “is in my office, ready for me upon my return.”

Surestrike nodded, despite his surprise. “We will be ready, Highness.”

“Good.” Celestia looked away to the south, her eyes burning with a passion she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. “I’m coming, my ponies. Hold on,” she said imploringly, and vanished in a blinding flash of light.

“W-what?” the Earth pony stuttered as one of the other Guards helped him to his hooves.

“As the Princess said, finish this,” Surestrike said. “As for what took her away, we’ll find out soon enough. Now get to work.”

(((())))

Gemstone stood there, waiting. “I’m – I’m sorry. I was wrong,” she sobbed, hanging her head. “I shouldn’t have – ” A flash of light interrupted her. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, then looked up and gasped. Standing beside her was Celestia herself, but not the aloof and regal pony she expected. The Princess seemed to shine, and her eyes blazed. Gemstone felt a surge of hope, then bowed. “Thank you for coming, your Highness.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Gemstone,” Celestia said gently as she laid a wing on the magenta Unicorn’s back. “Please, take me to him.”

Gemstone led the way, and soon they stood in the room where the foal was being cared for. Celestia gasped softly, but not at the tubes and wires he seemed to be covered with. She could see what he’d looked like before, and her heart ached. His beautiful sky-blue coat was now blotched and mottled, his wings and golden mane striped with colors that were a travesty. Even as she felt a pang, her heart melted. He didn’t gasp for air; his breathing came in a steady, quick and seemingly determined rhythm. His face was pinched, as tough concentrating, instead of the worn-out, drawn look she’d seen before. He’s a fighter. He won’t give up, no matter what, she thought. No, I won’t let him lose this fight. I can’t help his color, but I can see to it he survives, and is strong.

“What are you doing here – your Highness!” the nurse gasped.

“Where is Blackhoof?”

“He’s speaking with Hawkfeather,” Gemstone replied.

Celestia turned to the nurse. “Bring him, at once.” The Earth pony curtseyed, and nearly fled the room. “I will not let you lose him, Gemstone. You were once my student, and I can’t let this happen to you.”

The Unicorn nodded and smiled, tears dripping unnoticed to the floor. “I know you said not to, but thank you.”

As they looked at the foal, the doctor entered the room. “Princess? What brings you here?”

“I think you already know,” she replied. “It’s Trotmund-Hoofson, isn’t it?” He nodded, wondering how she knew, then he recalled something from the old journals he’d read some time ago. “I see you understand.”

“An infusion? But your Highness – ” A raised hoof stopped him. “I read what happened before.”

“Yes, and I know how to prevent a recurrence.” Celestia looked at the foal. “I hadn’t thought it through then, but I’ve had more than enough time to think over what I did wrong. Half a vial should be enough, and three drops apiece.”

Blackhoof looked at Celestia steadily. Anypony else he’d have questioned, but he knew she would have re-lived that terrible day many times over the past century-and-a-half, and medical science had progressed since. “I take it there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.” Her steady, haunted gaze was all the answer he needed. “As you wish, Princess.”

“What are you talking about?” Gemstone asked.

“An infusion of my blood,” Celestia replied softly, her face growing slightly drawn as she spoke. “That’s where every pony’s magic is most concentrated, Gemstone. Back then, I had one vial given to each, and the power was too much. It killed them, and I’ll never forgive myself for my foalish pride.” She looked down in shame, surprising them. “I won’t repeat that mistake. Half a vial for your foal should heal him, and three drops for you and Hawkfeather will prevent another foal of yours from being at risk.” She looked at the tiny body lying there. He reminds me so much of – no, it is Sunblur, she thought, first in surprise, then determination. No, I won’t fail you again.

“The risk should be slight,” Blackhoof said to the mare. “We should start now.” He led the way to a treatment room, sending the nurse to fetch Hawkfeather. He took a blood-draw vial from a cabinet, and was surprised when Celestia herself tied the thong into place on her left foreleg, swabbed the area around the vein with disinfectant – for their protection, not hers – and lifted the vial. “Princess?”

“This will be on my head alone, doctor, as it was then.” The vial floated to the now-distended vein, and Celestia inserted the needle expertly, without a sign she felt the pain. The vial filled quickly, and it floated into the doctor’s outstretched hoof. “Do what needs to be done. I will stand vigil.”

Blackhoof nodded and led Gemstone out. When she was alone, Celestia looked at the foal, her eyes filling with tears. “Thank you for coming back, Sunblur, even if you don’t know it. You might have a different name, but I know it’s you.” The foal’s breathing steadied as she spoke. “You will have the second chance I promised.” The sound of soft hoofsteps made her turn to see Hawkfeather. “How are you?”

The Pegasus bowed. “I’ve been better, your Highness,” he replied crisply, as though reporting to his superior. “I wanted to know if you’re sure. I don’t want – ” He stopped, unable to continue.

“I know. How much did you hear?” His gaze met hers, and she saw it in his eyes. “Then you know why. This is my chance to atone for my pride, Hawkfeather, and you and Gemstone don’t need the heartbreak and uncertainty. Nopony does.” She nodded toward the door. “Go and get the infusion. I won’t let anything happen to him.”

Celestia returned to watching the foal as he left, her serene expression gone, replaced by one of determination. Her tears finally over-flowed, and she ignored them. “Not again. Never again.”

(((())))

Gemstone winced as the needle went in, and she couldn’t help watching as the blood-laced water was injected. She’d never heard of this, and couldn’t help wonder if Celestia knew what she was doing. “What will happen?” she asked as the doctor finished.

“You might feel a slight burning, and perhaps a sense that you have a fever,” the Princess replied. “I am the Princess of the Sun,” she added with amusement. “You should be fine.”

Hawkfeather’s turn came, and he took the infusion stoically. Celestia looked at him appraisingly, noting that he faintly resembled Surestrike. “You can relax, Hawkfeather. I have more than enough Guards who stand like statues.”

“You should see us as we watch the shores, Highness,” he replied with a faint smile. “The Unicorns complain about birds.” Well, he’s taking this visit well, she thought. Most ponies have to be prodded into treating me like anypony else. “Oceanside is like most Shore towns, Highness. We don’t have time for anything but business, and going on.”

“I know.” Celestia watched as Blackhoof began injecting the mixture into the tube leading to – Well, he can’t be called Bluesky – the foal’s foreleg. She looked down. “I’ve visited every now and then. I want to apologize for what he’ll go through.”

“What?” Gemstone asked.

“My blood will save him, and make him strong, but that’s all. It won’t help his color, and there’s more. Since you’re different species, he’ll have both your features, and there’s only one way for that to happen. He’ll be an Alicorn.” She glanced away. “I’ve heard what these small towns and villages are like. Anything different isn’t seen as a good thing, and little or nothing changes over the years, because the ponies are practical, and won’t change unless they have to. Tradition is strong here, and change upsets everypony.” Celestia looked at Gemstone sadly. “I’m afraid because of this he’s going to be thought of as a freak, and that’s only the beginning.”

Gemstone looked at Hawkfeather, then at Blackhoof. “She’s right,” the doctor replied as he concentrated on his work. “You may regret this.”

“No, I won’t. He’s my son, and I’ll fight this whole village alone, if I have to,” Gemstone said, her ears flattening against her head as her horn glowed. “I’m from Canterlot, and we may not be perfect, but we won’t just let this slide. I know what they say in town. I don’t care. I didn’t come here for them.”

“Gemstone, please,” Celestia chided gently. “I can’t see all of it, but your son won’t have an easy life here. He’ll be more of an outsider than you are. I wanted you to be prepared.”

“As I said, I’ll fight for him. He’s my son, not theirs.”

As Hawkfeather comforted Gemstone, Celestia shook herself slightly. Gemstone had been head-strong before, but this was surprising. No, I shouldn’t be surprised. She was always passionate in her beliefs, and now it’s stronger, she thought. “I can’t interfere, Gemstone. You know that. They’d call it favoritism.”

“They can stick it sideways – ” Celestia’s raised hoof stopped the tirade. “All right, but you know me well enough, your Highness. I won’t back down, and I’ll teach him not to, either. You remember what I was like,” the Unicorn said with a smile.

“I have just had a reminder,” Celestia replied sardonically, arching one eyebrow and smiling.

“There. Done,” the doctor said as he withdrew the needle. “All we can do is wait, but he looks better already.” They looked, and the foal’s breathing steadied as the tenseness left his face and limbs. Blackhoof touched the colt’s forehead, nodding. “It’s already started, your Highness.”

Celestia joined him at the bed-side, looking. “Do you have a name for him?”

Hawkfeather looked at Gemstone, who was lost in thought. “No, but that won’t last,” he said with relief and amusement.

Gemstone came out of her reverie and walked to the other side of the bed. “Verdigris. It’s what you have when copper weathers, and some ores are that color.” Celestia’s questioning gaze prompted her to add, “I taught geology, and I am a gemologist,” she said, pointedly looking at the gem-shaped cutie mark on her flank.

Celestia smiled. “Verdigris. It’s not as pretty a stone as most, but its beauty isn’t obvious. Yes, I think it’s perfect.” She gave the doctor a look; he left after a nod. “I have a request to make of you.”

“After what you’ve done, anything. You don’t need to ask,” Hawkfeather replied.

“It’s more than what you think. I’m asking to be his god-Dam, and it’s not something I do lightly. There’s a lot more to it, in my case. I’ll watch him, and help when needed, but I can’t without permission. Even Princesses have their limits.”

“Of course, Celestia. You’ve given us hope, and brought him back to us,” Gemstone replied, then approached her mentor and gently wrapped her forelegs around her. “You’ve done so much already.”

Celestia was touched by her former student’s gesture, and nodded happily. “Thank you, Gemstone. I won’t be able to visit often, if at all; I have a country to run, but I’d like to hear about everything in Verdigris’ life. Good and bad.” She paused, then admitted, “I made a promise long ago, and this will help me keep it.”

The pair nodded, and Hawkfeather said formally, “Highness, we would be honored for you to be Verdigris’ god-Dam. We say yes.”

“Thank you. May I have a moment with my god-son?” As they left, Celestia approached and leaned down to get a good look at Verdigris. Her expression softened. “You poor, dear colt. I want you to know I will be there when you need me, and I’ll be watching you.” Her horn glowed as she continued, “You will grow and become strong, but you will also be gentle. You will learn hard lessons, but they will not make you bitter. You will be different, but you will be tolerant. I never wanted you to be an example, but there you have it. I only hope you can forgive me when I tell you the truth, when you’re old enough to understand.”

The foal’s left hoof flew up and gripped her nose, startling her. She looked into his strange grey and green eyes, and her heart melted again. “Oohh, you dear one. Already? Thank you.” A tear fell onto his up-turned face, and there was a hint of a smile. “You have a part of me in you. I will always think of you as my son.” She nuzzled him. “Goodbye, for now.”

Sighing happily, Celestia left the room to find Verdigris’ parents and say goodbye – no, not that, but a phrase she’d once heard from an old friend: Sometime again. She and Verdigris were tied to each other, and though there would be a long, rocky road ahead, they’d face it together.

(((())))

Surestrike waited for Celestia in her office as she’d asked, wondering what had caused the change in her. He had never seen that look on her face, that he could remember. She’d always been regal, aloof and serene, but at the moment she’d jumped up, he saw her not as a Princess, but as a warrior Queen, ready to fight. It had been unnerving, to say the least.

A flash brought him out of his reverie, and Celestia stood at the balcony door, looking south with a wistful expression. He cleared his throat. “Your Highness?”

She turned her head, and he was struck by how her eyes shined. “Oh, yes. Surestrike. I think I owe you an explanation,” she said, surprising him. She nodded to the table, and he followed her. “Please, join me,” she added as a tea tray floated from the sideboard. He hesitated. “Orders are sometimes phrased as requests, Captain.”

The Pegasus complied, feeling uncomfortable. He couldn’t remember if she’d ever done this before. “What happened, your Highness? If I may ask.”

“Of course you may. Have you heard about Sunblur?” He had to think. Yes, he remembered the story his grand-Dam had told him, about a foal Celestia had tried, and failed, to save. He nodded as she poured the tea. “It happened again. It was heart-breaking, and I couldn’t let it end that way again.” She sighed. “He’ll live, and he’ll be a strong colt, but he won’t have an easy time.” She explained, and Surestrike blanched. The armor’s enchantment hid it, but not from her. “Yes,” she said as she hoofed a cup to him. “He’s a fighter, Surestrike. He wasn’t going to give up. I owed it to myself, and that dear, dear foal,” she said with a smile that lit up the room.

“But,” he said significantly. He was surprised when her horn glowed, and an image of the foal appeared. He couldn’t stop from flinching. “Oh, my. Where is this?”

“Oceanside. I understand you’re from a similar place.” Celestia looked worried. “He’s not going to have an easy time, is he?”

Surestrike cleared his throat as he looked at the image again. He sighed. “No, I’m afraid he won’t, your Highness. Change comes very slowly out there. Tradition is very important, and, well, it may as well be when you and your sister ruled, before – ” He stopped abruptly.

“Before the Nightmare,” she finished, nodding for him to continue.

“They’re very insular, almost clannish. Outsiders are viewed with suspicion, and change isn’t seen as good. Mixed pairs aren’t looked on well. Superstitions and such are still strong. They’re very practical, hard-nosed ponies, and they stick to what works.” He grunted a laugh. “I remember some of the older stallions complaining about the change from sail to steam power; they didn’t see the point.” He paused. I’m talking to the Princess as though she’s a friend. That’s improper, he thought, chastising himself.

“Surestrike.” He looked up to see her watching, as though she knew what he was thinking. “I’m the Princess, and I set the tone. We’re in private. There’s no image to live up to here.” She paused in thought. “I have my duties, and I take them seriously. I have many subjects, but few friends, if any, and I have few moments to myself. That’s why I’m insisting on informality.” She grinned in an almost evil way. “And the boredom does get to me; that’s why I play pranks. It’s my only release.”

The Guard sat there, stunned at the revelation. “I’ll try, but I can’t make any guarantees, your Highness.”

Celestia nodded. “That will do, for a start.” She looked up almost shyly. “And I could use a confidant. My ponies have no idea, but even I have my limits. I’ve seldom asked for help, but I know I’ll need advice, as far as Verdigris is concerned. He’s very special. Sunblur is back, and I want to do right by him. I promised him that.”

Surestrike felt a twinge of sadness at her bleak tone. “You’ll have it, your Highness,” he answered softly. “He – what will happen?”

“He’ll be an Alicorn. The process works no other way, that I’ve been able to determine. His parents are fine ponies, and he’ll be the best of what they have and are.” She looked away briefly. “That won’t sit well, either.”

“No, it won’t. If Oceanside is anything like Cape Colt, he’ll have a hard life. Foals can be incredibly mean. At best, they might grudgingly accept him, considering what he’s been through, but I doubt it. At worst, they’ll torment and isolate him.” He looked at the image again, studying the foal. “But, if he’s the fighter you say he is, he should do well. What was it you said a friend of yours once told you?”

Celestia smiled. “He said, ‘What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.’ Yes, I see what you mean.”

“What can you tell me about his parents?”

“You know his dam, Gemstone. His sire Hawkfeather is a Pegasus in the Coast Patrol, and I could see he’s as serious as you. I think that’s why Verdigris is such a fighter.” The image changed to show the ponies, and Surestrike studied it, unaware of how closely Celestia was watching him.

“I know the Patrol; my father is a Commander. They’re chosen similarly to the Guards, but I would say they’re better, in some ways. Life on and near the sea is very tough on those ponies who live there.” He looked at her frankly. “He could turn out to be a mean one himself, if he doesn’t have his parents’ support, but if I know Gemstone as I think I do, and if his father is the Pegasus he appears to be, he won’t. I feel for the lad, but I’m cautiously optimistic.” He paused, and cocked his head to one side in thought. “Your blood.” Celestia nodded, a hopeful expression on her face. “If he has a fraction of your grace, strength and wisdom, he should do all right.” Surestrike smiled. “I don’t believe he has a choice.”

The Princess blinked in surprise, then sighed in relief, but there was an undercurrent of worry. “I hope you’re right. You’ve confirmed what I already knew, but I had to be sure.” At his surprised expression, she added, “I’m aware of everything that happens under the sun. It … isn’t always pleasant.”

“Your Highness, may I make a suggestion, and offer some advice?” She nodded as he stood, setting the empty cup on the saucer. “We’ll take up the tax issue tomorrow, or the next day. Take the time, and only worry about emergencies. As you said earlier, the routine can be dealt with by the ponies you brought here for that purpose.”

“The nobles might not see it – ”

“You’re the Princess. I doubt they’ve seen what I saw today, but word will spread. They’ll want to know why you left, and pester you for explanations.” He smiled grimly. “They’ll get none, and like it. You may be here for them, but that doesn’t mean they own you, and I think it’s time they were reminded of their place.”

“But – ”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve gone deaf, your Highness. I heard you agree, and nothing else.” Celestia looked at him, then smiled gratefully. “You said you needed help, and a friend. Sometimes a friend has to push another friend into taking care of themselves. Canterlot and Equestria won't fall apart; we both know the ponies can manage the basics for a few days. The Treaty negotiations aren’t for a week, and the Audience isn’t until the following month. You have the time. Please take it.”

Celestia smiled up at him knowingly. “I take it that wasn’t a request,” she said, tilting her head to one side and raising that eyebrow. He nodded. “Thank you, Surestrike. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.”

“I’m sure I will, your Highness. The meeting will resume in two days. Good rest to you.” Surestrike bowed and left, closed the doors behind him, and sighed. “Oh, hay, what have I just gotten myself into?”

(((())))

Gemstone and Hawkfeather watched in awe as Verdigris’ condition visibly improved, and his body changed. Instead of a Pegasus or Unicorn, their son was an Alicorn pony. His horn was already nearly six inches long, and his wings, body and legs had lengthened. His breathing strengthened to the point that he didn’t need help, and the other problems vanished. The blotches and streaks began to lose their definition, the edges softening to resemble the curling edges of storm clouds, or surf pounding the shore. The copper patch on his chest shrank, and its edges faded. His eyes lost the odd reflections and became a mix of grey and green that resembled wind-tossed sea foam. By the time night fell, he looked much better, other than his coloring.

Doctor Blackhoof hid his amazement, thinking about the colt’s future in Oceanside. The mares and stallions would be problem enough, but the foals were another matter entirely. Some would hate him on sight, a few might befriend him, the rest would avoid him; and the torment would begin. Nopony could be more vicious than a gang of foals with a target for their ridicule. He hoped the Princess had taken that into account. Verdigris had potential, but how it would turn was anypony’s guess.

“I – I think we can look forward, Hawkfeather,” Gemstone said as she nudged her husband’s shoulder.

“Maybe. He’ll be all right, but he’s going to have trouble when he goes to school.” He thought about Breakwater’s son Bluestreak. Barely a year old, and already meaner than a gale. He’ll make Verdigris’ life impossible. He sighed to himself. “My colt, I’m going to have to teach you not just how to fight, but when and why.”

Gemstone nodded when he said that. “I can see I’m going to have to teach him how to think, and be calm, Hawk. I know you were thinking of Breakwater’s brat. The rest won’t be much better, if my reception was any clue.” Nopony had spoken to her for the first six weeks since she came to Oceanside after marrying him. They were barely polite, now. “We have our work cut out for us.”

“Well, we won’t have to worry too much. Celestia did say she wanted to know everything, and I have a feeling she gave him a helping hoof. I can’t say why, but I know he’ll get through it, if we stand with him.”

Gemstone leaned against him, sighing contentedly. “We have our son, and we have each other. We don’t have to worry about – ” she shuddered. “We’ll be fine. Well, we’ll be all right.”

Hawkfeather turned and asked, “When can we take him home, doctor?”

“If what her Highness has done finishes soon enough, tonight. If not, in the morning. You can sleep here; I know you don’t want to miss anything,” he replied. He looked at them, vicariously enjoying the outcome. Princess, I hope you did something to help him. He doesn’t deserve what might be coming.

(((())))

Celestia stood on the balcony, looking south. She could hear the conversations, and the thoughts surrounding them. Oh, yes, I did, and I still can. But that can wait for the right time. Her eyes glimmered briefly, and she closed the drapes. There’s time. Tomorrow is another day.

Comments

[Parcly Taxel]

Alright, everypony, this thing must continue!

[Verdigris]

849549
Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am!

[asr3]

Well written, if only it were as well received. It is fairly well done, no grammatical or spelling errors that I could see, the premise is fairly interesting, and I could get into this. I'll tell you more when I read the rest tomorrow evening. I wish my serious fics were so well written.

Also, have a favorite and a thumbs up.

[Ender Roarke]

This sat in my read later pile for a while because I normally don't enjoy sad fics nearly as much as comedy, adventure, or romance...but if the first chapter was any indication, this is an excellent story. I look forward to reading more.

[Zuka]

Alrighty, to start off I’ll let you know that this comment will be a little long, but when authors take the time to write great stories like this, I feel like it’s my responsibility as a reader to take the time to write down what I like about it and point out some of the things that are well done. Below are just some thoughts that I wrote own as I read your story, and I’d encourage any future readers to leave comments on this story as well, no matter what they are. This story truly deserves more attention!

The intro was wonderfully done. Even knowing beforehand that the foal was going to survive, I still thought he was going to die as much as I thought he was going to live. You made me really feel like there was a 50% chance of either, and you did a good job of keeping the suspense going, even after Celestia had arrived.

Creativity is key, and there is plenty of it in this story. The idea of using Celestia’s blood to cure him as well as curse him seems very well thought out, and the reader gets thrown into the main plot the moment they start the story. I thought I’d mention as well that I found your naming system with all of the first names being two words (kind of like Fluttershy), and your use of the words dam and sire interesting.
It’s the first chapter and you’ve already introduced a possible antagonist with Breakwater’s son Bluestreak, which also leads to a theme of bullying. Even though it may not seem as severe looking in from the outside, bullying among children can often be much worse than what adults can do to each other, and I’m looking forward to seeing how you handle the situations with both the adults and the children.

Looking at the town of Oceanside, the overlying mindset you’ve given them is a traditionalist philosophy. I myself hold some of the ideals that come from traditionalism, and I’m interested to see how much the stubbornness and prejudice of the townsfolk play a part in the over-all fic.

Looking at some of the overall things for the chapter, the transitions throughout the chapter were very smooth, and there weren’t any major interruptions of flow between the scene shifts. Everything was easy to read, but still had a complexity to it. I didn’t notice any grammar mishaps, and the only things I wasn’t fond of were just personal preference things, and were very minute in comparison to the rest of the story.

Your characterizations seem to be spot on, which is a hard thing to do when you’ve got a character like Celestia in your story. Also, instead of just using fan favorites (mane 6) to initially draw people in is something that I noticed as well. It’s like you’re creating your own universe for the story, and just adding in popular characters where their presence is needed.

It's one thing to develop an original character, but it's something entirely different to be able to create an original setting that develops the character as well. Basically, you’ve not only created an original character, but an original environment for your character to thrive in as well.

Looking at the description for the story, it seems like the fic is supposed to focus more on Celestia’s attempt at keeping her promise and gaining redemption. However, the way you’ve set up the story in this first chapter, you could easily go in a multitude of ways. You could do an outsider view of the overall proceedings, kind of like what was happening as Verdigris was lying in the hospital bed. Or, you could go much more into his character and follow him in a sort of first person fashion, looking at more at his thoughts and actions. Also, looking at the tags you’ve chosen for this story, I can tell that it’s going to have a multitude of feels-inducing opportunities, and from what I’ve read already, I have no doubt they’ll be very well written.

Many people say that the takeoff and the landing are the hardest parts of flying, and I am quite confident in saying that you nailed your take off. It’s time to keep reading though, and see how you do for the rest of the flight.

[Alicorne]

Would Celestia's friend by a certain Neightzce, perchance?

Nicely done, a very clean, strong story! Bravo, Sir! Bravo!

[-Brutus]

849549 yesssssssss