My Little Dashie: The Aft5rlife

by Rdasher12

Chapter 10: Reflection

It's been a long time since I've taken a day off. A lot of things have happened in my life up to this point, so I've decided that I need a day to reflect on everything that's happened. Loads of unanswered questions have piled up throughout my life. So much, in fact, that I've created a sort of mental list of them in my head.

How did I get put in a cardboard box when I got sent to Earth?

How did I end up where I was when Dad found me?

How did he ever raise enough money for us to move?

What were the odds that a cartoon made up by humans completely replicated how things were in another dimension?

How did Celestia find out where I was on Earth from way back in Equestria?

How did Dad find out that we could see each other from different dimensions?

How exactly did he cope with the decision to leave everything he had back on Earth just so he could be with me?

How did he manage to stay hidden from Celestia for three and a half years before being discovered?

How did he get that heart disease anyway?

How did the darkness exist inside of him?

Was he truly happy with his life?

Can he see me from where he is now?

Is that where all of my friends went as well?

Why can't I share dreams with him anymore?

Am I happy with how my life has gone, and how much time do I have left before I join my dad in the afterlife?

All of these questions are dancing around in my head and I'm struggling to stay focused. I don't think I can do this right now. All I can seem to do is stare at my newest addition to the house, a television.

It seems that Equestria is finally starting to catch up with Earth on the entertainment side of things. It was introduced as a new idea a little over a month ago and quickly hit mass production in all major parts of Equestria. It took a few weeks for it to get to Ponyville, but trust me when I say that it sold out pretty quick. I was lucky to get my hooves on one before they ran out of stock.

I'll admit, at first, I didn't think it was a good idea to introduce TVs into Equestria. Dad always told me stuff like that was a gateway to bad things.

He'd say that one of the reasons why humans are such a bad influence on their planet is due to instant media. I never really could figure out what he meant, or if he was even was being serious. Rarely did I have any sort of access to the internet back on Earth. But after what Pops told me, I hope it never becomes a problem around here.

Eventually, I caved into the idea that having a TV might help remind me of Dad. Aside from our pictures, his journals, his Mom's painting, and his gravestone, there isn't much to remember him by. I'll get anything that helps me think of him just a little more.

I've had the television in the house for a few days now. But for some reason, I just haven't felt the need to use it yet. I suppose it might be because it’s such a big change. Heck, I haven't watched TV for seventeen years now. I can't imagine what it must feel like for everypony else in Equestria, seeing something so different for the first time.

I thought about introducing Equestria to the idea of television when my dad first came back. But he said that he didn't really want that sort of thing here. He sounded pretty serious when he told me, which wasn't a tone I heard from him very often.

"Just take a look at this place, Dashie. Apart from you, it's the most beautiful thing of nature that I've ever laid eyes upon. It's so quiet and peaceful. It'd be a shame if stuff like TVs and the internet ruined all of it, don't you think?"

I guess I sort of understand what he was trying to say. Somehow, someway, all the technology back on Earth lead to those cruel cities, much like the one that we lived in for the first decade of my life. But it sure has been tough going this long without seeing any motor racing.

Back on Earth, it became part of my weekly routine to watch as much racing as possible. It didn’t matter what it was, I was going to fit it into my schedule if I could. I wouldn't dare rest until I'd watched everything that there was to see. Practice sessions, qualifying, heat races, and the main races. In short, if any form of racing was ever broadcasted, I'd probably be watching it. I even ventured as far out as watching police chases if there wasn’t anything else to watch.

Now that I think about it, there might actually be some kind of cart race on one of the TV channels. Maybe watching some of that would ease my hunger a bit.

I fly over to the brown entertainment center and grab the remote with my teeth. Upon returning to the recliner that I bought some years ago due to its uncanny resemblance to the one we shared on Earth, I get comfortable and switch on the TV with my wing.

The first thing that pops up is the news, unsurprisingly. Canterlot News Network? How original of them. I've never really been the kind of pony for news. We don’t even need to predict the weather thanks to how we control it ourselves, so that bit of the program probably goes by pretty quickly. That really just leaves us with boring stories about how stockings get lost on clotheslines or something equally as boring.

I begin flipping through the channels, hoping to find some kind of racing, and if not, at least something that would intrigue me. I'm bored out of my mind right now.

"Lyra how could you?!-" Next. "Music video, music video, we are in, a music vid-" Never been much for those. "Welcome back to Disc of Riches!-" Rip off of Wheel of Fortune. "Here you can see the Cow in its natural habita-" Eh, documentaries would only be fun for Twilight, and she isn't even here to enjoy them. "This is Family Feud!-" Oh, they aren't even trying with that one.

"Ugggh, there's nothing on! Now, what the hay am I supposed to do?!" It's honestly pretty frustrating to have dished out six-hundred bits for this bad boy and not even be able to find anything good on. These ponies really need to step up their game.

As I stare at the TV, I feel a gentle breeze come through my window and oddly enough, the first thing that comes to my mind is walking. Walking was like a second life in a sense for my dad. Heck, I’ve come to enjoy it here and there too, thanks to him.

I turn off the TV with the remote and set it down on the coffee table in front of me. I get up, stretch, and then head towards the door. As I open it, I’m greeted with another breeze that flows through my mane. It seems to be one of those days where the only way to describe the weather is simply awesome. The temperature is just warm enough to the point where a breeze feels welcoming but doesn't cause a chill. I'd say it's a perfect day for a walk.

----------

I've been out for roughly three hours now, and though it's only five in the afternoon, it's grown dark. The weather team has a storm is brewing, and soon I'll be getting hit by the brunt of it. I suppose that’s what I deserve for flipping through the news channel… I turn around to begin my walk home, though I don't rush. My energy these past few hours has been non-existent. I feel so lost as I walk through the woods that surround my home. No, our home. It's as much my dad's as it is mine, and nothing will change that.

The rain has begun, but I don't quicken my pace. I just walk, much like my dad had so long ago. The distant memories of all my pain and sorrow back when he first died begin to seep back into my mind. I haven't had these thoughts in years. The pats of water on the tree leaves help keep me distracted. It's a peaceful sound, one you'd never hear in Ponyville.

The rain is picking up and my mane is now soaking wet. I'm sure I'll be sick tomorrow, but I don't care. I've felt sick for a while now; a mental callback that's been tearing me apart. All I can think about is the time so many years ago where I was in a very similar environment like this, and frankly feeling a lot like this as well.

It all started with the one day I decided to scroll that little bit further through the TV channels in an attempt to find something new to watch. Most of the stuff that I discovered was barely interesting enough to bat an eye at.

But one channel really caught my attention: The HUB. It'd just gotten through a set of commercials and faded into a cloud-filled room. It was certainly eye-catching even without what happened next, but what occurred then is what really had me in shock.

At that moment, I was distracted by some leaves gliding around just outside and I wasn't looking at the screen. I remember hearing voices coming from it though.

"Number fifteen, let's go." Then some kind of flashy entrance music played, quickly followed by another voice.

"Rarity... is ready!" It sounded a bit British and I'd certainly never heard the name before.

Then the first voice chimed back in, "Look, ladies. I don't know what to tell you, there's only time for one more performance. If you both want to compete, then you'll just have to go out there together." Well, that certainly sounded like plot convenience. What kind of professional competition doesn't allow an extended amount of time to perform if needed?

The British-sounding Rarity replied. "Well, Rainbow Dash. Shall we?"

That was when I nearly choked on my own spit in surprise. Dad always told me that my name was unique to me and that no one else had ever or will ever share it with me, so hearing my name on TV wasn't quite like anyone else hearing their name on some kind of game show.

I quickly recovered and darted my head to the TV screen. There, practically staring back at me, was me... All huddled up in a ball looking like I was going through some kind of anxiety attack.

At that point, my jaw was agape with a great feeling of misplacement. Part of my mind just wanted to rub it off as some coincidence, while the other part was a tank full of questions. I started to feel frustrated by this.

The details of what happened for the next few minutes almost flew right by me. Something like me and the one called Rarity that I was supposedly friends with flying out to a kind of stage in the sky. Well, not me. The other me. The one that's making me question my entire existence as a pony.

Rarity then said "Good luck, Rainbow Dash. Just do your best. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty to change our music. That ‘Rock and Roll’ doesn't really match my wings." She then flew off into the sky.

The painful amount of confusion that was inside of me wasn’t comparable to anything. I just kept on staring, jaw still dropped. Rarity was performing some kind of weird ballet moves but my mind wasn't really fixed on that. I felt emotionally blank for some seconds, but then quickly came back to what was happening on the TV.

I heard my own voice coming out from the surround sound speakers and the confusion inside me started being replaced with anger. I kept on asking myself, "Does Dad know about this? If so, How long has he been keeping it from me?"

"Come on, Rainbow Dash. You can do this, just remember the routine... Phase one." This was followed by her flying around clouds both left and right, which ended in failure and she plowed into the barrier.

"Nice work, Rainbow Crash!" she ignored the bullish brown pony in the stands and quickly recovered to go back to where she was, seemingly to continue whatever she was doing.

Rarity pulled some more ballerina moves and the other me tries to motivate herself. "Time for phase two."

She then flew towards a group of clouds and circled them. But this too ended in failure, one cloud nearly hit someone that seemed to be of some kind of importance.

Meanwhile, Rarity was still doing stupid ballerina stuff that I didn't really care about. "And now, for my grand finale! I will fly right up to the sun and beam my beautiful wings over the whole city of Cloudsdale! Oh, they'll be talking about it for years!" She flew straight up toward the sun and it went back to the other me still looking worried.

"Looks like this is my last chance to turn things around. Phase three: The Sonic *gulp* Rainboom. Wings, don't fail me now!" Any hope that I had left that this character was someone besides me left. I was the only one that could perform the Sonic Rainboom, and there were never any second guesses about that.

She then flew upwards, quickly passing the level of her said friend. The ponies in the cloud-like grandstands stared up in awe as she did so.

Rarity then reached the sun, looking worn out. "Look upon me, Equestria! For I. Am. Rarity!" She opened up her wings in front of the sun and a light shade of rainbow beamed down on all of the ponies and they gave their "Ooohs" toward her. Strangely, her wings seemed to burn and eventually disappeared out of thin air. She looked over her left side in surprise and immediately started plummeting towards the ground.

A purple pony confirmed my then silent suspicions. "Oh no! Her wings evaporated out of thin air!" This was followed by three other ponies in weird looking jumpsuits and goggles going after her. All three of them got knocked unconscious by her flailing limbs.

The other me noticed this and responds in an instant. "Hold on Rarity! I'm coming!" She darted downward and began the plunge toward the white pony. High pitched wind screeched by as she got closer and closer to her with every passing second. The waffle cone of wind resistance formed around her. Tears streaked from the other me’s eyes for a brief second. Much like the tears that were starting to form on mine... She gave a grunt and one final push.

BAM! She broke the sound barrier.

I'd done it before, myself. But it was a whole new perspective when I watched someone else do it. Well... it was still me, but you get the point.

"A SONIC RAINBOOM! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! WOOOO!" I would’ve told you who said that, but at that point, I was already full of tears and could hardly see a thing.

CLINK

The sound of keys landing on the floor emanated throughout the room. My dad had come home. Anger took full control of me and it exploded.

"How long..." I asked him, no emotion in my voice.

"I..."

"How long have you known about this?"

"I..."

I turned to look at him. Tears in my eyes and my mane even more messed up than usual. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS?!"

A tear ran down my dad's cheek as I yelled at him. He eventually sat down next to me, turned off the television, and told me everything.

He told me about the show, about finding me, and answered any other questions that I had for him.

I had a lot... Most of them stemmed from the show. From which he answered what he truly believed. That though I am Rainbow Dash from the show, that I myself was a different pony from the one in the cartoon.

He tried to explain it to me, but my bullheadedness took over and I continued to lash at him, and he took it all.

After our argument, I flew upstairs into my bedroom and slammed my door shut. I stayed in my room for about a half-hour sobbing into my pillow. Eventually deciding to fly off into the woods and find some tree to sulk in. I was so fed up with sadness and anger that I didn't want to see his face ever again.

But above everything else, I just felt... misplaced.

----------

I guess that leads me to here, sad and alone among the countless trees and the sound of raindrops. It's now pouring out here, the tree canopies are barely holding back the torrential rain. As I'm hammered by the water droplets, I stop to look around and find my bearings to return home. I'm not lost; most of this area is easy to traverse once you get used to it. It's just that I'm also looking for something as I walk, though I don't know what it is…

I press on, keeping a steady pace through this rain. Suddenly, I spy a large, thick tree. Its stature sticks out amongst the rest, and from looking at the barely wet grass underneath I can tell its many branches are holding back even this hard rain. I need to take a break, so I walk under the tree and sit down.

This is the kind of tree I imagine Dad would hide under in this rain. I wish it to be true, but I know that's impossible. I close my eyes and lean against the tree trunk as I think about my life... our life, together as daughter and father. We had grown so much as a family and were fortunate enough to have very few fights. None of them were as heartbreaking as the one I just recalled.

I feel a tear running down my cheek as I imagine Dad's face again. The sadness in his eyes, mixed with defeat, just tears me apart. I want so badly to go back in time and stop myself from doing that, but I can’t do that. What's done is done.

“I'm so sorry...”

I speak out loud, not caring for nopony is listening. I'm alone in these woods, besides the wildlife. In this rain, they're hiding as well, and the ones that aren't are far from a being such as I.

“I'm just so sorry, Daddy.”

I continue to cry as I keep my eyes closed, leaning against the tree. The rain continues to pour around me. An occasional drop hits my head, but I don't care.

CRACK

I open my eyes from the sudden sound and look to my left. I'm shocked at what I see before me, looking at me with teary eyes herself, was me... Or at least a younger version of me, covered in burrs and tree sap along my mane and tail, standing a couple feet from myself. I'm wet, with both rain and tears. I hadn't even heard my own approach, then again being a Pegasus I am very quiet and light on my hooves.

Then, I see my dad almost right next to me. On the inside, I am so thrilled. I want to lunge at him and hug him for hours on end, but I can't will myself to move. All I can do is watch what's in front of me unfold.

The other me doesn’t speak and instead walks over to him, not caring what noises she made under her hooves. He doesn't move; he just sits on the ground and watches with his own wet eyes. She looks so horrible, and yet so beautiful at the same time. My coat would need a good cleaning, but I think that was the least of my worries.

Without a word, other me sits next to him, not making eye contact as he looks off into the woods. He can only look at the other me, clearly wishing to do something. But he holds back, probably thinking that it'd be too sudden. Finally, the other me is first to speak.

“I... I heard you,” Her voice then gets quiet as she whispers, “and I'm sorry too.”

He simply smiles through his tears; my stubborn attitude was still showing as I always had difficulty apologizing, “Dashie, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's my fault, simple as that.”

It seems his point doesn't get across, as the other me finally looks to him with a sorrowful face.

“Dad. Do... do you still love me?”

He quickly hugs the other me tightly.

“Of course, Dashie. I've always loved you. I still love you, no matter what. Not even a small fight such as ours could ever change that.”

The other me returns the hug, as they sit there and cry together. They continue to apologize, him for the truth and her for raising her voice and storming out. I want more than anything else in Equestria to be able to move my body, just enough to feel Dad's warmth. I feel a twitch in my wing. I push with all my might, trying to just touch Daddy once more. My wing, very slowly, approaches my father.

After some time, the rain subsides while they remain under the tree.

“Dad.”

“Hm?”

“Can we go home now? I need a shower, bad.”

It seems like an eternity, how long it takes for me to reach him with my wing. My wing brushes his shoulder. Success. My heart jumps for joy, almost like it exploded! But then, everything around me starts to fade.

He lets out a chuckle, and she too laughs as he stands.

I try to hold on to Dad with all the strength I can summon, but it isn’t enough. The mystical force that had bound me before has me again. I squeeze my wing on his shirt sleeve, hoping he would stay with me, but he disappears, out of my sight. And so did I, the other I.

I shoot straight up from my previous position. I look back to where I was. I had fallen asleep under the tree, and was dreaming. But, I could have sworn I actually felt Daddy's shoulder. I stand up, and peek out from under the tree, and look up. The clouds have been swept away, and in their place stands a majestic rainbow. It’s beautiful, and not because it reminds me of Daddy, but because it is Daddy. I just know it to be true, even though I had no way to prove it. I must have stared at that rainbow for an hour.

The rainbow begins to fade, so I turn to head home. My heart is bouncing with so much joy. Had my Daddy found a way to communicate with me from up there? I have no idea how to describe what I saw, but it was the best I had felt in weeks. It’s only then that I notice how tired my wing was. I also feel it clutching something, something tight. I look down, and in my wing, the wing I tried so hard to reach Daddy with, is a piece of shirt cloth...

Author's Note:

Oh boy, this chapter sure did take a long time to make. I hope you all enjoyed. Yes, the episode's details in this chapter are word for word. I know I say this in every chapter, but another apology for taking a while. I've been preparing for a move that I'm making some time this summer. But don't worry, this story will be done before then.

Rdasher12

Comments

[Melody of the Lexicon]

End of May... Dude, I really hate to sound like a critic, but we're halfway through June now.

[Rdasher12]

8237826
Yes yes, I know. Chapter 11 has been completed for some time now. Around the beginning of June. I'm just waiting for my editor to finish checking it out. I don't want to put quantity over quality, you know? My editor said that he'd be checking it out today, so hopefully it'll be out Monday at the latest. Sorry for the long wait.

[Rdasher12]

8237826
Also, you only liked and added this story to your bookshelf just yesterday. Did you read all 10 chapters in less than a day? O_o

[Melody of the Lexicon]

8238422
Yes, I did. I'm a very fast reader, because it's a prerequisite to being a fast writer. And it's no big deal, life happens sometimes.