The Incredibly Stupidly Weird Story About 15 Random OCs

by TheMajorTechie

Lol.

Author's Note:

To my followers: I might've twisted some of your OCs on purpose for comedic effect. Maybe.

Another thing: Since the OCs are so random, I realized that I ended up using some much more often than others simply because the plot demanded a character of their description. Sorry if your OC doesn't show up as often as you'd like.

It was an incredibly bright and sunny day in Equestria. Carrion the undead griffon sat motionless in a roadside pit, only moving every so often to swat away flies. Other than the corpselike form of Carrion putridizing the scene, it was a perfect day.

That is, a perfect day for the CMC to find themselves reading Starswirl's time loop spell that Twilight had somehow managed to recover. How she recovered it? Nopony knows to this day, but she did mention something about alternate universes.

That being said, Carrion continued acting like the mindless corpse he was, idly lying in the mud. "Hey, Lightning," he moaned in a terrifyingly scratchy voice, "Wanna hang out later with Alcea?"

Dark Lightning shuddered at the mention of his name. He wasn't Dark Lightning, he was Hard Time... no... Iron Cider?

...Anyways... *cough* the pegasus shuddered at the mention of his supposed name.

"Do I know you?" He replied, turning to the ghoul. "Or did you mistaken me for somepony else?"

"C'mon, Lightning," the griffon groaned again, "you know me. You've always known me..." he paused for a moment, searching his brain for something Dark Lightning would remember, "...Easy Breeze."

Lightning's face lit up, and all at once, the pegasus had suddenly became another pony altogether. "Carrion!" he cheered, "Sure, I'll hang with ya later. I gotta clear some clouds first, and then I've got a race to beat with Rainbow!"

In an instant, the suddenly upbeat pegasus was gone.

~~~{Meanwhile in Ponyville...}~~~

"Hey," Rainbow groaned from the ceiling of Twilight's castle, "Twi, next time, warn us before you let the CMC use Starswirl's time-loop spell again."

---

A trio of fillies watched overhead from atop a cliff. Said cliff would eventually become the base of operations for a top secret facility known as "B.U.T.T.S.", or "Bureau of Unbelievably Tame Time Steppers".

"Are you sure you want to stay in the time loop?" Sweetie Belle asked, lighting her horn, "Twilight showed me a way to get out of it, y'know."

Scootaloo shook her head. "No way! We're Cutie Mark Time Loopers now! That's more awesome than Cutie Mark... uh, cutie mark figure-outers?"

Applebloom nodded.

---

"Twilight?" Rarity abruptly began as she lay on her fainting couch, "Was the B.U.T.T.S. headquarters beside Canterlot Palace before?"

Twilight shrugged, and took a sip of tea.

Suddenly, a giant meteorite landed on top of the Mane Six, and because this is an E-Rated trollfic, it just so happened to have a hollowed inside, allowing for the mares (and dragon) to simply be eternally trapped, instead of meeting their demise in an untimely fashion of being smothered by red-hot rock.

Twilight yawned. "Girls?" She asked, "How about we all take a nap now. After all, it's dark out."

"Um, Twilight?" Spike replied, "It's not dark out. There's an asteroid that inconveniently trapped all of us in your castle."

"Nonsense!" Rarity shouted from her couch in a very un-ladylike manner, "We must get our beauty sleep!"

Spike grumbled about being the only logical character in a poorly written fanfic as he crawled into a random pile of blankets that just happened to be in a convenient location.

---

"MIRROR SMASH!" Hops Mash yelled from the door, "GET YOUR SORRY PLOT OUT HERE!"

The pony of the names "Mirror" and "Smash" groaned, before proceeding to accidentally tumble out of her 3rd story apartment window into a rosebush.

"Smash-mouth, c'mon!" Hops yelled again-- in the mare's face, "The rest of us are gathering at our definitely-not-a-wooden-shack base of operations!"

"Why?" Mirror Smash asked, wincing in pain from the fact that there were currently thorns stuck in every conceivable biological location on her body.

"Y'know that Gummy gator thing that Pinkie Pie has?"

"Yeah?"

"His cousin's here, and he's... Godzilla."

"Wat."

"Exactly."

---

Fifteen ponies and a magic toaster gathered in the half-burnt wooden shed. Though, it was more like they were crammed into the space of an average kitchen counter, 'cause said wooden shed was originally a doghouse.

"And thus, the meeting has begun!" the toaster announced.

"Who invited the toaster?"

The toaster sighed, facepalming it's crudely-drawn sharpie face with a slice of bread. "You all did. After all, am I not the cousin of the famed Derpy Hooves?"

Carrion raised a rotten eyebrow. "Wait, remind us why you're a toaster again?"

The toaster groaned at the idea of having to mention his origins again.

"To put it simply," the kitchen appliance began, "I was once one of the only pegasi in existence with the ability to cast spells. I was so powerful, in fact, that I had been next in line for the throne, if Celestia was to ever fall. Obviously, I was kept a secret, for such a powerful mage would surely be targeted by fiends."

"...And?"

"And one day, I stumbled across a filly named Mirror Smash," the toaster continued, glaring at the mare with an unmoving eye of sharpie ink, "and that filly decided one day to make toast using my magically enchanted toaster."

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Mirror Smash wailed, "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE TOASTER WAS LINKED TO A MORPHING SPELL!"

The toaster shrugged it's nonexistent shoulders. "There's the rest of the story right there. The toast triggered the spell, and since I was in the kitchen with lil' Smash-mouth, it immediately latched onto me, combining my brilliant mind and abilities with it's slick, steel body and a random nearby sharpie."

"But why the sharpie?" Alcea asked, "Why not something better?"

"Like?"

"A knife?"

The toaster deadpanned it's horribly unmovable eyes. "Have you ever heard of someone who's stuck a knife in a toaster and survived?" A low murmur ensued as the tiny crowd spoke to themselves over the statement.

"Exactly. 'Cause they don't survive."

"I AM ROOT!"

"Yes, Root. You may calm down. Good timber pony."

The toaster flung a stick using its cord, and the timber pony named Root promptly followed after.

"Okay, so now that Root isn't here to bug us--"

"Hey, I liked Root!" Shouted Carrion.

"Shut up, pincushion. As I was saying, we're gathered here today to hear my announcement." the Toaster continued, "The mares that we have collectively known as the "Mane Six" are no more. They are prisoners in their own castle, trapped by a strange hollowed meteorite."

"YAAAAAAAAY!" The crowd cheered.

"No. That's a bad thing. We're for Equestria, not against it."

A few moments of silence passed, before the entire room burst into panic.

"We're doomed, I tell you!" Ghast screeched, "DOOMED!"

"SHUT UP!" The Toaster yelled in return. The crowd silenced at his command.

Root shuffled back into the crowd with his head hung low. At the notice of him, the Toaster focused his attention to the timber pony.

"What's wrong, Root?" Toaster asked as Root continued his sorry shuffle.

"Am... am I Root?" Root replied.

Comments

[Amethyst_Dawn]

Spike grumbled about being the only logical character in a poorly written fanfic as he crawled into a random pile of blankets that just happened to be in a convenient location.

You, my good sir, have just surmised the majority of Spike Episodes...

[TheMajorTechie]

7947039 Exactly.

[Alchemik]

I am quite pleased with this. Have one of everything. (Bonus points for "Am I Root?")

[TheMajorTechie]

7947416 DANGIT ROOT, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!

[Isseus]

Sorry but you aren't allowed to write fics like these until you have at least 1,5k fanbois upvoting your every fic.

[TheMajorTechie]

7947862 Heh. I'm just doing what my current 75 followers want. Okay? There was even a vote I posted a while back on what to do. Its just a fun little story written using submitted ideas and OCs.

[Isseus]

7947872 Sorry, I didn't mean to sound condescending, quite the opposite really. I meant that if you had some more followers, you would be in the feature box with this fic.

[TheMajorTechie]

7948286 Ah, okay. No biggie there.

[Alchemik]

7947851 I AM ROOT! ...I AM ROOT?

[Undead Equestrian Writer]

I don't even know... and great name, though. I would have called something like "I don't really have a name for this so I went with this one".

[James Fire]

What the heck is wrong with the mind that came up with this?

What the heck is wrong with me for actually reading this?