7855568 I might sneak some more exhibitionism into the story. The reason I cut it short is that I had already in detail described her masturbating twice in the chapter and it was starting to get redundant.
Some Years later, Twilight Sparkle ascended to become the all powerful alicorn of Sex, whose magic is powered by her own horniness (and that of others). Naturally, the already powerful unicorn became that day the most powerful alicorn in existence... and also the most sought after at Court because of her enlightened advices and all around pleasant behaviour. She was in fact voted first four times in a row in the official PPPP, the Pony Princess Popularity Pageant.
7858611 Would it make you feel better to know that I almost gave away the whole thing? I was to lazy too switch accounts and was curios as to how the story was doing as far as popularity was concerned and I almost responded to four or five different comments with my original account. My paranoia saved me at the last second though.
7859363 Damn it, how the hell did you guess my comedy twist ending? I'm serious, this was almost exactly how the story was going to end. Maybe it still will end this way, but now, maybe not.
Comment posted by InvertedAxis deleted Jan 13th, 2017
She rode her orgasm hard as she pushed herself to continue her masterbation even as her comvulsion faded to after glow. Feeling still very horny but satisfied enough for now, Twilight softly rubbed her mound until the water had finished washing away all her marecum.
With her hygene taken care of Twilight set about fixing dinner and by the time Spike arrived, There were two places set at the table for them.
There are a number of spelling errors in here, but the reason I wanted to point this out is to bring up the point I mentioned after chapter one. See how there are three sentences? One deals with her orgasm, the other with her afterglow, and the last with serving dinner. They all carry the same general tone, in my mind. The third sentence is fine for what it's representing, but I suggest going through the story to find areas with the first two sentences, break them up, make their phrasing more exciting, and don't be afraid to put in more of them. You actually want to draw the feeling out longer, just not with longer, wordier sentences.
he had yet to learn about biological reproduction and would not begin going through sexual development for almost three hundred more years.
...By which time everypony he cared about (except for the obvious Princess Celestia) would be long dead. Yeah...it should be obvious why dragons don't tend to live with ponies.
7854827
Agreed 100%
I like her thinking
7855352
It's to bad my irl quote would be:
That was a rather nice chapter! I only wished the public scenes would have been longer. They seemed rather short.
very nice. Looking forward to the rest of this story
7855568
I might sneak some more exhibitionism into the story. The reason I cut it short is that I had already in detail described her masturbating twice in the chapter and it was starting to get redundant.
Does that include your sister throwing a thousand-year temper tantrum, princess? Honestly, your poor nobles always get ragged on.
7854980 Eureka, your main account was created approximately 6.5-7 years ago. Another tidbit of information that narrows the playing field.
Evil scheming intensifies
the only line that could have been better for an ending is if it quoted Deadpool.
feels? You put feels in your story? Shame.
Kappa
“Oh my gosh, this is the best day ever!” Twilight shouted to herself, “I can’t wait to masterbate.”
Literally one of the best lines I have ever read in fanfic.
Some Years later, Twilight Sparkle ascended to become the all powerful alicorn of Sex, whose magic is powered by her own horniness (and that of others).
Naturally, the already powerful unicorn became that day the most powerful alicorn in existence... and also the most sought after at Court because of her enlightened advices and all around pleasant behaviour.
She was in fact voted first four times in a row in the official PPPP, the Pony Princess Popularity Pageant.
7858611
Would it make you feel better to know that I almost gave away the whole thing? I was to lazy too switch accounts and was curios as to how the story was doing as far as popularity was concerned and I almost responded to four or five different comments with my original account. My paranoia saved me at the last second though.
7859363
Damn it, how the hell did you guess my comedy twist ending? I'm serious, this was almost exactly how the story was going to end. Maybe it still will end this way, but now, maybe not.
7859913 Hmmm, I should've been more vigilant, touché.
Also I love this story keep up the great work.
Very nice! One quibble: masturbate, not masterbate. There's a couple of other minor typos, but that one's repeated.
7869296
Thanks for the catch, will do.
This chapter is amazing
There are a number of spelling errors in here, but the reason I wanted to point this out is to bring up the point I mentioned after chapter one. See how there are three sentences? One deals with her orgasm, the other with her afterglow, and the last with serving dinner. They all carry the same general tone, in my mind. The third sentence is fine for what it's representing, but I suggest going through the story to find areas with the first two sentences, break them up, make their phrasing more exciting, and don't be afraid to put in more of them. You actually want to draw the feeling out longer, just not with longer, wordier sentences.
I hope that's helpful!
...By which time everypony he cared about (except for the obvious Princess Celestia) would be long dead. Yeah...it should be obvious why dragons don't tend to live with ponies.
7859155
Rule 51 of the internet and rule 42