• Published 31st Jan 2017
  • 1,846 Views, 92 Comments

Imperfect Stasis - Mocha Star



A new adventure awaits Twilight Sparkle, years into the future, as she is crowned co-ruler of a planet several solar systems away from home... But she wakes up early and is alone on the ship. How will she cope with a over a century alone?

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Epilogue

The elevator doors opened to the concourse and they gasped at the foliage that grew wildly. Flowering vines from nearly every level of the room for a distance from the giant tree at the center that was surrounded by wild flowers and smaller trees and fresh grass growing freely, all living at their own pace under the weeping willow.

A small cottage made from paneling from the royal suite and nearby areas stood firmly at the far side of the tree. The ship’s command crew took in the sight and glanced up to see the planet they were tasked to habitate barely in view. A shining blue dot, much like the one they’d left. Approaching the cottage they were careful to not step on any flora that they could.

Looking in they took in the sight of two ponies, cuddling in eternal slumber, with a tablet at the foot of the luxury bed they rested on.

Hello to whoever found this and us. I am former Princess Twilight Sparkle and this’ my love, my being, my reason; Shining Smile. We woke up early and, after a few adventures, decided that this was the best thing for us and the future of the planet we’re heading to.

You see, I’m not fit to lead the world we’re going to. As I’ve learned, I’m a little neurotic, obsessive compulsive, controlling… and that’s not what the new world needs. It needs a calm, competent, composed ruler that doesn’t have years, ages of baggage to weigh her down.

In the medical bay you’ll find our daughter in the autodoc. Her name is Shining Sparkle. It just seemed to fit her when we saw her for the first time. She’s an adorable five year old alicorn and is as smart as I was when I was twice her age. I think it’s because her parents were really great at what we did, to be honest.

She’s not too good at magic yet and hasn't had time to practice flying, but she's great with gardening, as you can see.

She’s in need of love to replace what we can’t give her anymore, and she’s the leader you need and deserve. I’ve left several tablets full of plans for cities, infrastructure, trade agreements, and even embargo practices and rules if a settlement chooses to sequester themselves.

We came to the decision to do things this way because it’s the right thing to do, not the easiest.

Love isn’t easy, it turns out. It’s as complicated as inhabiting a new world, because you’re making a new world, in a way.

Teach our daughter magic and flight. Teach her to lead and rule rightly, truly, humbly. Make sure she knows we love her, always and forever. She’ll always do the right thing, as long as she follows her heart and, no matter what, let her know we, her father and I, lived happily and died in love with each other.

We believe in the future of the world we’re creating and know it’ll be the Shining beacon in the Twilight of space that we always knew it will be.

To our daughter:

May Luna guard you, may Celestia light your path.

May your lives be as magical as Starlight Glimmer’s and as full of love as Cadences.

May you find friendship in all places like me, and may you rule as nobly as Flurry Heart.

Above all else, live like ponies: Fun and free of the shackles of hatred and anger. Live for each other and help all the others grow with you until the day you die, as we have.

Goodbye and live well.

Following the message were photos of the two as they lived their lives. Images that stayed with the new world for the ages.

Photos of the two shaved bald and smiling, the scars adorning Twilight were barely noticeable, but still drew attention. Splashing each other in the pool. Acting out a play. Dancing in the arcade. Having birthday meals. Growing older in each photo that passed until only he remained; smiling under the willow tree and holding the magical tome that Twilight and Sunset had shared. At the end, the last photo had them holding their baby girl, wrapped in a blanket and yawning. The smile they shared while looking at her said they loved each other and their baby.

They died as they’d lived together, happily and in love.

Their daughter’s work, in the ages that came and went, was built on the love her parents had shared with her and the lessons she was taught by the pioneers that raised her to be the Alicorn of Kindness she was meant to be.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading my first sci-fi story.

Special thanks go out to Shining Smile. He let me use his OC for this story without knowing anything about it.

A couple notes for my readers.
About Shining Smile.
He's a Pegasus IRL but I took his wings away for the story because in the epilogue the baby has no experience flying and it's a good way to have the pioneers bond; by teaching the kid to fly and use magic.

About the story: it's inspired by the movie Passengers. Fantastic movie.

Comments ( 32 )

Passengers

Knew it! I was sure thinking this was inspired by that movie which I hadn't got to see yet... :facehoof:

That was a wonderful and sad chapter. Thank you for writing this story and hope for the best!

7932580
Now when you see it you'll imagine Twilight!

7932591 Twilight in a movie! :pinkiegasp:

Also story said it's incomplete :rainbowderp:

true to the movie, but i don't think the movie's ending works well when theres an Alicorn involved, also unlike the movie i don't think a colony is going to do all that well when the leader dies while traveling there, i don't even want to think of what equestria is going through after hearing about it, never mind the earth, i would have thought that she would have worked out or toned down most of her mental issues after a few centuries but its your story, all i can do is hope this isn't the only ending there will be (did you know in the movie the auto-doc has a cure for aging? a mix of nanite repair and telomere reset and there you go)

He let me use his PC for this story

- Did you mean OC? Because if you didn't, then that would be a bit odd...

Anyway, this was great. Seriously. Probably the best Sci-Fi fic I've read.

7932664 personal character.

I'll change it, thanks!:pinkiehappy:

I think it was a good story, but I am rather disappointed about the ending, as I was hopping to see more development between Shining Smiles and Twilight Sparkle before the got their foal. I would have thought that they might have wanted more then one foal during that period and would have liked to razed her at least the first ten years of her life at least. Also, I don't get how Shining could have cast the spell himself on to Twilight sense he can't use those type of magics. I honestly don't get the limitations of the spell that Twilight could cast, as I thought that the problem was that she simply couldn't cast it on herself and would have inevitably have to cast on Smiles at some point in his life. What I don't understand is how come Twilight decided die in the story as she could have weatherer the years easy and had the power to turn Shining Smile into an alicorn if she wanted to to face the years of loneliness together. I also don't understand why Twilight thought that she couldn't lead the colonies herself anymore even with the grieving of Shining death. It am not sure if I understand it write but why was Twilight aging in the photos? An other alternative that could have then explored was that Smiles could a been taken out of stasus every once in a while, one day a week or a month for company for her, it would have been easier solution for the both of them. I know it was supposed to be a biter sweet ending, but those inconsistence ruined it for more. As a whole I really liked the story and the theme, but more thought would have been needed more thought on the story.


One last thing, doesn't that mean the their daughter is stuck paying for all the boos and clothing that they had drank during their time they where active, sense they are dead now and can't work it out?

7932888 No spells were cast and you can't put someone to sleep and wake them up every week or month before their bodies start to die from the stress.

They raised their baby until she was old enough to know right from wrong and those habits were instilled I her. You can like for them to have raised her to be 50 but that would have made her be alone for years or it would have been harder for her to accept her parents death alone.

If they had several foals who would raise them and if they have uncontrolled powers like Flurry Heart would you want several running around? What would multiple ponies do during heat season? Inbred Alicorns to rule a new colony?

How many Alicorn children can rule with no training?

The reason twilight aged in the photos was because, like it said at the end of the last chapter, no wings no immortality.

You've way over analyzed this ending and your inability to retain basic details has ruined a story for you, not that I can fix that.

Your arguments pose more questions then I answered. I didn't drop the ball, you grabbed the wrong one and ran to the other teams goal and are yelling at the ref.

7932933 not the ending i was loking for but not my book kinda sad for me since you know fav pony is now dead

I loved this story so much the ending was so beautiful.:fluttercry:

7933938 I'm really happy you liked the story. It makes it all worth while.

I was finally able to finish the story today. I have not seen the movie and only knew of the base premise. Wow, this was really, really good. I mean 'watery eyes 'cause you punched me in the feels' good. This is going right into my favs. Thank you for sharing. Bravo, Mocha Star, bravo.

7970676 :fluttercry:
Thank you... That makes me feel a lot better, as a writer.

You made me stay really late because this was so good.

8018819
Thanks! It's got a lot of my effort in it.

I got alerted to this fic from the Pleasant Commentator and Review Group. Loving it so far! I'm only a few chapters in, but you've done a really great job with this concept. I loved the Passengers movie and this fic easily lives up to it. Can't wait to read more. ^^

8252151
Love you for reading it! 💗
Thanks!

The movie was awesome! It inspired me for the first time to adapt.

“And give me a coffee, black.”

I guess Twilight must have faced the Borg at some point...

Sweetie-bot

This is so adorable that I don't even care what a blatant reference this is. XD

“Luna’s teats that’s strong,”

That is an amazing swear. XD

“No, no-no-no, I can’t let him see me like this. Pegasus or unicorn? Can’t be both, but have to be one… which?”

Now this aspect of the story I really like. It didn't occur to me that Twilight needed to hide herself, because I'm used to how it is in the show, which tends only to treat Twiight like a princess when it's plot-relevant. Your realistic approach to this is much more satisfying; the simple fact that Twilight is one of the most important figures in Equestria, who cannot simply walk among her subjects and be treated as an equal. If she'd appeared as herself, then Shining's first question would surely be "Why aren't you doing something about this?" In general, I'm a big fan of stories in which characters adopt alter egos and disguises.

The line also shows that Twilight hasn't thought this through at all, which is so un-Twilight that it's a clear indication she isn't thinking straight by this point.

What!? No! I’m not supposed to look like Starlight Glimmer

I also like the way you've worked all these cameos into the story. :) I think the only one left at this point is Rainbow Dash...

He sniffed the air as a sudden sweetness, he knew pretty well, filled the air and he blushed as he thought of its source.

Literal food porn!

no one can stop me because I’m Princess Twilight

This is also quite smart, pretending to be herself to throw him off track. Also, adorkable.

the collective futuristic idea’s of Isaac Asimov and how they paralleled with the human present, even though they were written a hundred years before humans split the atom or traveled into space.

Not so! Asimov started writing in the 1950s, more than 30 years after the splitting of the atom and a mere 11 years before the first manned spaceflight.

“Princess mode? Like a Twilight Sparkle freak out? The ones that are known across the worlds?”

She has whole freakout arias about freaking out! And again, it's great to see how Twilight's influence is felt so widely.

Then her eyes widened in realization, that she did have a crush on him.

Twilight, you read to this guy while he was asleep, fantasized about him, kissed him, and slept in his bed. And you only now think you have a crush?

And she’d found the one she wanted for the rest of her life, even if she had to turn him into an Alicorn to do it, she’d be with him forever.

Ouch. Even knowing what's coming, that's still real painful.

“It, was you? You woke me up?”

Okay, much as I hate to end on a critical note because I am really loving this story, I have to be honest and say that this bit could have been better. This should be one of the most significant and powerful moments in the story, but as written, it feels a bit odd, like there's something missing here. Minnie says a thing, Twilight comes back, Shining is horrified. There's no build of suspense, and because we don't see Shining's emotional reaction - only his verbal one - it lacks weight. (Although his verbal lashing out at Twilight is great. Ouchie. ^^)

And now I'm halfway through! I can't wait to finish the rest. No spoilers! :raritywink:

8256294
:facehoof:
I'm going to make an edit.
Teas, Earl Grey, hot.
It will be added.
Make it so!

“The gravity’s so heavy here that it’s imbalancing the air flow,”

Okay, I get that the ship can lose gravity, but gaining it? How does that work? Is it powered by a singularity or something?

There’s a fault in the gravity plating

Okay fine, I'll shut up. ^^

“Well, life isn’t like a book or movie.

said the magical talking unicorn from fairytale land

“Don’t tell anypony, ever, but it is a star.

Ha, I was sort of right!

Although... why does Twilight treat this like some dark secret? Are stars sacred to ponies or something? I mean, it's not like they stole a star or anything, since it's an artificially created one. Shouldn't everypony know what the ship is powered by? Wouldn't that be, like, one of the first questions anyone with even a small interest in the ship would ask? And why have I turned into Cinema Sins?

The problem with stars, is gravity.”

“Gravity?” he asked, sweating still.

“They make their own.

This is actually backward. It's more accurate to say that gravity makes stars. And we can't even blame this on pony physics, since it's human tech!

So is the ship lugging around something with the mass of a star, and counterbalancing it with antigravity so that it is, in effect, weightless, but still has the internal mass capable of producing nuclear fusion to power the ship? I'm sure that's scientifically impossible, but it is also freaking cool so I don't care. ^^ Star drives for the win!

I can’t die before I’m supposed to die!”

What are you, a time traveler?

“I don’t know how to restart a sun… let alone make one.”

That said, Twilight is probably the most qualified being within several light years to try it, seeing as she's actually raised a sun before.

There’s only me that’ll ever know, that’ll ever care about your sacrifice… What would the heroes of Equestria’s third age think if you died before you finished your objective?

Well you see, Shining, she is the right pony, in the right place, at the right time.

“I’m sorry, Princess Twilight Sparkle, I’m the core’s verbal interface.

*facepalm* Ahahahaha! Of course she is!

If you leave the core as it is, I estimate four days before it goes critical.

You know, that is enough time for a therapy session with Shining...

Twilight’s eyes glowed white as she focused the shield around herself

Can I just say that that Twilight is extremely freaking badass

With a whimper at the last second her boots demagnetized from the heat

Science! Although, I'm not sure if electromagnets demagnetize, since their magnetism is generated by electric current? Then again, she is inside a freaking star, so I'll let her off :)

“Welcome to the medical bay. Please state the nature of the medical emergency,”

This fic has all the Star Trek!

Awwww. That's a sad ending.

You know, I'm not sure how to think about that. Twilight's decision to remain mortal and die strikes me as rather selfish, given that she has a child, but I guess we don't have all the facts.

Minor issues aside, this was a most enjoyable read and a nice adaptation of a movie that I like very much. Good job. :twilightsmile:

8260608
My answer to any and all of your comments about 'star'ships is to be summarized as follows: "Magic."

Star trek is the best, I only wish I'd had more thought to use a warp core or something.

But whateva, it's great to have you read and I thank you. You're commentary has given me something to look forward to all week.

8260614
Ah, but... human tech! No wizards! ^^ I'm only nitpicking the science for fun, since... c'mon, it's a freaking star drive, how cool is that? Makes for an awesome climax, too. I think in Passengers it was some kind of fusion drive? Pfffff, boring. Stars are where it's at. :)

And no worries, this fic has kept me entertained on my commute to work for the past week ^^

Good story, ending makes me want to slap someone

8876988
Really?
Whom?
I'm just wondering for future stories I write.

8877160
idk it just kinda felt hammy, why couldnt she make a stasis SPELL, she is a former element of magic, and a thousand-some year old alicorn...

8877213
Oh that, because she wasn't mentally stable enough to handle losing Shining. Thanks to his therapy she came to terms that she was unable to move on through loss and too stubborn to seek help.
Thusly, she'd outlive him and when he died she'd spend years dwelling over her choice to bring him back, regardless, and the civilization would most likely shift outside her control.
Humans aren't the most sharing without good reason, after all, and they would probably knock heads with the minotaurs and leave ponies stuck in the middle.
She's gather herself just before war erupted and would have little option aside from stepping down in favor of a council and she'd be useless after that beyond an advisory role or puppet leader.
As I see it, anyway.

The races need stability to remain civil, and a kind, immortal alicorn is stability they can rely on.

I have to give the pacing here some credit. It only took me twice as long to read this as it would have to watch the movie.

9265476
Thanks!
That's a big deal to hear and I appreciate it.
This is one of my favorite stories and first based off of a movie, so it's nice to know others like it still.
:twilightblush:

The ending didn't really sit well with me on a personal level. Not a bad story, but I think I was just hoping for a different ending.

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