The Rat
Rarity stood outside in the cool, autumn air, waiting to see Sweetie Belle off for school. She heard the door open and close, and she turned to see Sweetie Belle walking toward her with her backpack. As Rarity smiled, Sweetie Belle said, “Rarity, when I get home from school, can we work on some dresses?”
“Why, of course, Sweetie Belle.” As Sweetie's own smile grew, Rarity continued, “Now, I want you to be good in school today. No fighting with that dreadful Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon.”
Sweetie Belle looked down, moving her front hoof into the dirt in a circular motion as she softly said, “Okay, Rarity, but what do I do if she starts a fight again. You know I don’t have my cutie mark.”
“Simple, you tell Ms. Cheerilee. Now off you go. I love you, Sweetie Belle. Be good for your teacher.”
“I will, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said as she began her trek to school.
Rarity turned around and headed back into the Carousel Boutique to begin her day. Little did she know that something else was making its way into her kitchen on four little paws. Rarity entered her kitchen and used her magic to take out several bowls to begin cooking.
As she began to mix several foods together, she lost track of what she was doing and wound up picking up a little, fat ball of brown, squeaky fur, plopping it into her mixture of food. No sooner did the ball hit the mixture did it let out a soft squeak, causing Rarity to look down. Rarity's jaw almost hit the floor as she stared at two beady, little, obsidian eyes.
And then it moved.
“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Rarity screamed as she ran backwards, hitting the cupboards behind her. “Get away from me, you disgusting, vile, little thing!”
The rat jumped out of the mixing bowl, hit the floor with soft plop, and scurried across the floor towards Rarity. Rarity watched in horror as the furry little intruder to her home, her very life, wiggled its little pink nose, flexed its long, slender whiskers, and buried its little, brown face into its little, pink paws.
And then, it did the most vile, most disgusting, most hideous thing ever! The rat padded up to Rarity and licked her right, front hoof. Rarity's fur grew ten shades whiter as the fashionista fell onto her back and exclaimed, “WHY ME!? I, Rarity, the most generous, most fabulous pony in Equestria, am now prey to that!” She pointed her hoof at the rat as it cocked its little head to the right, watching the spectacle play out in front of it. “A rat! And not just any rat, either. The most vile of all rats!” Rarity kicked her hooves out as she continued, “This is it! This is the end! My all-too-short and wonderful life brought to an end by this monster, with its beady eyes and pink, little--”
Rarity watched as the rat began to scurry away from her. Cutting her tirade short, Rarity called, “Um, excuse me, but you're being very rude. I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”
The rat stopped and turned around. It squeaked at Rarity, then began scratching its ears as Rarity continued, “That's better. Now where was I?” Rarity thought for a second before the light bulb lit up. “Oh, yes, now I remember.”
Clearing her throat and getting into a more comfortable position, she began again, “I, the most popular of all ponies, have been laid to waste by--” Again, her voice stopped short as she suddenly felt something scurry on her belly. Looking down, she saw the rat had climbed onto her stomach and was snuggling up to her. Rarity's eyes went wide as she screamed in terror, scooting on her butt as fast as she could, trying to get away from the rat.
Hitting a wall behind her, she wound up firing her magic at the little rat, only to miss and hit a dress she had been saving for her sister's cute-ceañera. As the dress turned to flaming cinders in front her blue eyes, Rarity yelped out in anger, “No! That dress was for Sweetie Belle!” Rushing over to it, she continued as tears sprayed out of her eyes like waterfalls, “Why, why did this have to happen to me? What could I, the most beautiful, most popular, most wondrous, most generous pony in all of Equestria have done to bring this vile vermin into my home?”
Looking at the rat, Rarity snarled as she wiped away her tears, “It!” She narrowed her eyes to the little, nine-pound ball of fur. “Is!” She gritted her teeth together hard. “ON!”
Rarity fired her magic, only to miss again as the rat simply ducked out of the way. Rarity's magic hit her cupboards, causing two of them to explode. Dishes of all shapes and colors flew everywhere, crashing to the floor and into the walls around the two combatants.
Rarity looked about the mess she made, only to grow angrier as she yelled out to the vile creature,“NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!” She again fired her magic at the creature, only to hit another dress. As it was quickly turned to ash and smoke, the rat just wiggled its little butt at her and padded off. “Oooooh, hold still, you little pest!” Rarity growled, firing her magic again, missing and hitting the wall in front of her.
The rat again just squeaked at her and padded off. Rarity, seeing that her magic wasn’t going to work, decided to try to trap the little creature. Putting together a plan in her mind, she looked around at her completely destroyed kitchen, saying, “Well, I won’t catch that little monster in here. Perhaps I can lure him to the living room and catch him there.”
Rarity took an empty cardboard box from her storage, a pair of scissors, and a mousetrap into her living room. There, she cut a small opening into the box and put the mousetrap inside. Opening the top of the box, she put some cheese onto the trap and made a small trap leading to the small opening. Finished, she went behind her sofa to wait.
After a few minutes, the rat entered her living room. It quickly caught sight of the trail of cheese and followed it into the box. Rarity watched in anticipation, but her excitement quickly turned to shock when she saw the rat scamper out of the box, the cheese from the trap in it's mouth. Rarity hastened over to the box and used her magic to carefully open the top. Sure enough, the mousetrap sat inside. The cheese was gone, yet the trap had not triggered. Rarity quickly turned around and glared at the rat, which she could've sworn winked at her before running off.
Rarity opened her mouth to yell, but she was cut off with a loud snap that nearly made her jump out of her skin. She looked back in the box and saw that the hair on her tail had triggered it. Scowling, she fetched a pair of scissors from a nearby side table and snipped her tail, making sure to fashion the rest of the hair so that it didn't look like she just cut a mousetrap off of it.
Rarity returned to her workroom to think, making sure to seal the door so that the rat couldn't invade her most sacred sanctum. As she thought, her eyes scanned the room for ideas, and they fell on some of Opal's toys. In particular, they fell on a fake mouse. Rarity raised an eyebrow in thought, and then she smirked deviously.
Taking a small bow and some perfume, she dolled up the toy and placed it in her living room, saying, "I don't know why I didn't think of this first. I mean, a mousetrap is so...eugh."
After placing the toy, she hid in her hallway with a net. Before too long, the rat took notice of the toy. Cautiously, it approached the decoy and started sniffing it. Apparently liking what it smelled, it started licking the toy. Acting quickly, Rarity used her magic to slam the net over the rat, trapping it.
Triumphantly, Rarity strode over to the captive, only to notice it chewing the netting. "No!" she shouted, but it was too late. The rat squeezed through the hole it had chewed out and fled. Rarity lifted the net to stare, frustrated, at the hole. As she stared, she felt something tickling her leg. Looking down, she saw the terrible thing licking her again.
Rarity shrieked and fled back to her workroom. "Why is that rat so hard to catch?" she lamented. And was it just her imagination, or did the rat giggle as she ran away?
"Okay, no more Miss Nice Pony," Rarity said to herself. "I need to think outside the box if I'm going to get rid of this awful thing. I need to think quickly, though; the longer I wait, the longer the little terror can infest my beautiful house." Rarity gasped as another brilliant idea struck her. "It's time to take drastic measures."
Rarity went to her kitchen and retrieved more cheese. Taking a small chunk, she hesitantly dabbed it onto her cheek. Then, she lay down on the floor, closed her eyes, and waited. "It's okay, Rarity", she thought. "Once that little demon comes to", ugh,"lick you again, you can grab it with your magic and finally get it out of your house". She gulped. "The ends justify the means."
She didn't have to wait long. No more than five or so minutes must've passed before she heard the familiar padding of rodent paws on her tile floor. She ventured a peek and saw the rat on the other side of the room, staring at her. She snapped her eye back shut, swallowed nervously, and waited.
The rat slowly walked forward, it's footsteps echoing in Rarity's ears. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and gulped, sweating. The animal couldn't have been more than five feet from Rarity, and it still approached. Rarity began shivering as the monster crept closer. Just as Rarity felt the beasts whiskers tickle her cheek, she could take no more.
Panicked, Rarity reeled back, screaming and shooting her magic at the rat. Startled, the rat raced away, dodging the magic and escaping safely. The magic ricocheted off the polished tile floor, struck the bowl of a polished silver spoon, and reflected off of it back toward Rarity. Rarity barely had time to yelp before she was trapped in her own magical barrier. Sighing, Rarity lay back down and tapped her hoof in frustration at her situation and her own cowardice. She looked to her right and saw the rat again. She glared at it, and it fled further into her house. And she was sure she saw it blow her a kiss before it left.
That was it, she decided. She knew that if she wanted to be rid of the creature plaguing her, she'd need to be aggressive. Dispelling her barrier, she rushed to Sweetie Belle's room and fetched her sister's bat. Running back to her living room, she saw the evil thing on her coffee table, chewing on one of her magazines.
Screaming, Rarity charged at the rat, swinging the bat with her magic. The rat jumped out of the way just as the bat cracked her coffee table. Undeterred, Rarity chased the rat, swinging her bat this way and that, trying to strike and stun the nasty thing, making sure to stay low herself to avoid getting hit with too much debris.
So blind was her fury that she never considered where she was swinging. As she swung, the rat jumped over the bat and ran toward her. Rarity swung again in rebound. The wily rodent dashed to the side, out of the way, which cleared the way for Rarity's bat. Before she could stop it, the bat collided with her face.
Rarity reared up on her haunches, groaned, and fell backwards onto her back, dazed. She looked to the rat--all four rats, in this case--and thought she saw it sing and dance a victorious little jig, though she was willing to chalk that up to the fact that she just slammed a bat into her own head.
When she came to, she slowly walked to her bathroom to check the damage. She had a headache, she was bleeding slightly, and she would have a nasty lump, and she might have to take it easy for a while, but the damage itself seemed minor. She cleaned her fur and returned to her workroom to think again, this time going for a more extreme angle.
Soon enough, Rarity had her best idea yet. She came up with the mother of all traps. Ready to work, she headed into the living room and began to set her trap to catch the evil creature. As she worked, Rarity thought, “That rat must be from Tartarus, here to ruin all my dresses and cause me nothing but pain and misery. That has to be it.”
Once finished with her contraption, Rarity stood back and marveled at what she had just created. The trap consisted of a system of pulleys and ropes holding up an anvil with a big X under it. Looking at her strange trap, she cooed to herself, “Now all I need is the little pest to get his little rump in here, and then splat, no more rat.” Rarity laughed wickedly to herself.
Heading back into the destroyed kitchen, she took out a block of cheese from her refrigerator, cut it up into several pieces, then made a trail back into the living room, placing the rest of the block in the center of the X. Ducking behind the couch, she waited for the rat to follow the trail of cheese to the X. Rarity didn’t have to wait long, as the rat did what she wanted. It followed the trail right under the anvil.
“Wait for it,” she cooed wickedly to herself. “Just a little more.” The rat stepped to the center of the X, and Rarity yelled out, “NOW!” She released the rope only to find that the anvil didn’t fall at all. It remained suspended by the pulleys and ropes she had used to secure it to the ceiling.
Trying with all her might, both with her magic and with her hooves, Rarity was unable to get the anvil to fall. Finally nearing complete defeat, she panted as she walked out from behind the couch and used her magic to pick up the rat and move it to a safer place. Rarity walked back over to the anvil, looked up at it, then fired her magic at it. To her shock, nothing happened. She stood up on her hind legs, waving her front hooves at it, saying, “Fall, blast you!” No sooner did she say those words than, as if by divine intervention, the anvil fell.
Rarity dove out of the way before the anvil crushed her. Unfortunately, her tail was caught under it, though luckily, only the hair of her tail was underneath it. Her little intruder shook his little head, padded over to her right cheek, then licked Rarity again.
Rarity screamed and fired her magic at the little, brown fellow. The rat jumped off of her and scurried under a chair in the living room. “You disgusting pest, get out of my house!” Rarity shouted. Looking back at the anvil and her surely ruined tail, she whined, "Oh, why do I even have an anvil?"
Snipping her tail again, this time not caring to style it, she stalked back to her workroom. Pacing back and forth, she again thought about what to do about the rat, until she got an idea so simple that she couldn't help but bang her head on her desk for not coming up with it sooner, which didn't help her headache.
Exiting her workroom, she called, "Opalescence! Here, kitty, kitty! Mommy needs you!"
After a few minutes, she saw Opal lazily wandering down the hallway, barely giving Rarity a passing glance. Rarity began walking to the living room, smirking, and Opal followed along, if only because she was heading that way to begin with.
The two made their way through the living room into the kitchen. Opal looked around disinterestedly at the chaos. She looked for her food, and she froze when she saw a nine-pound ball of prey eating out of her food bowl. Opal's new dinner looked back at the cat, and the two locked eyes. After a second, Opal hissed and pounced, just barely missing the meatball as it ran away.
Opal gave chase, pursuing the meal all over the kitchen and living room, knocking over everything Rarity left standing during her earlier blitzes. Rarity didn't care, though. She was busy cheering Opal on as her savior chased down her tormentor.
As the cat chased the rat all over Rarity's house, two figures watched through binoculars from a tree in a nearby yard, snickering all the while. Rainbow Dash and Discord held each other as they laughed hysterically at their work, Rainbow saying, "This is the best thing that happened all week!"
"I know!" Discord laughed. "This whole thing has me in stitches!" And sure enough, when Rainbow looked at him, she saw a plush version of Discord with stitches all over it, which only made her laugh harder.
"Man, no wonder Opal's so fat! Rarity keeps feeding her fast food!" Rainbow said, bringing Discord into another laughing fit. "But seriously, how did you get that rat to do all of that!"
"Easy. That rat happens to be one of Fluttershy's more mischievous friends. Sharp as a whip, that one, and sly as they come, it took four full days and a lot of convincing (and begging) to get him to help us out. And don't worry about Fluttershy; I'll have him back at her place before she even knows he's gone. The dancing was easy to teach him. As for the singing, well, not to toot my own horn, but," Discord conjured a bugle and blew it, and the bugle continued, "I know a thing or two about ventriloquism."
Rainbow Dash giggled again, but sobered up slightly as said, "Still, though, I wish you didn't do that anvil thing. Rarity could've been really hurt. And where'd you find an anvil to put in her house, anyway?"
"Oh, please, I had everything under control. I couldn't let the rat get squashed; Fluttershy would kill me. I made sure to give Rarity the push she needed to get out of the way, and I even slowed the anvil's fall a bit to ensure your prissy friend's safety. As for where I got the anvil, I didn't. Rarity already had it in her house. No idea why she even has that thing, though."
"Thanks, but still, can you not do anything like that next time? That really had me worried. I don't want to hurt anyone, just prank 'em. I mean, that bat thing kinda worried me, too, but that was all Rarity. Right?"
"Oh, yes, that was all her. She really needs to be more careful. And you have my word that I'll be more careful in the future, too."
"Thanks, Discord. That means a lot to me." Rainbow heard a crash from Rarity's house. "But enough of that sappy stuff. We got a show to watch!" she said, and both turned their attention back to Rarity's boutique.
Opal chased the rat though Rarity's now-ruined living room and kitchen. After a few more minutes, the rat finally had enough, and it fled into Rarity's yard through the cat door in Rarity's back door. Rarity watch in awe as Opal went outside as well to keep chasing the rat.
"It's gone," Rarity whispered. "It's gone! Finally--oh, finally!--that horrid thing is gone!" Rarity started giggling in triumph. Her giggle turned into a laugh. Her laugh turned into a hysterical cackling that echoed throughout her house as she celebrated that she was finally free of the little pest.
Soon, her cackling subsided, and she set about tidying the place up. She had a lot of work to do, but it was so worth it. As she began, though, she heard the doorbell chime.
Peeping through the peephole, Rarity saw Fluttershy standing outside her door. Rarity opened the door wide and cheerfully said, "Why, hello, Fluttershy! What brings you here on this wonderful day darling?"
"Oh, hi, Rarity. Well, I..." Fluttershy said, trailing off when she saw Rarity's living room. "Oh, my, your living room! Oh, and your hurt, too! What happened, Rarity? Are you okay?"
"Never better, darling. And don't worry about the mess. Just a bit of drama, is all," Rarity said, chuckling good-naturedly at her sweet friend's concern. "Is there anything you need, dear?"
"Oh, right. Well, the days are starting to get colder, and Mr. and Mrs. Squeakums recently had a litter."
"M-Mr. and Mrs. S-Squeakums?" Rarity repeated, not liking where this was going.
"That's right. And I'm afraid that the winter will be too cold for their little babies, so I was wondering if you could make them little sweaters. And don't worry, I know how you like to take sizes before knitting, so I brought the whole family along."
Rarity, terrified, looked down behind Fluttershy's hooves, and sure enough, two adult rats and about ten baby rats were standing behind Fluttershy, looking up at Rarity with hopeful eyes. Rarity's pupil shrunk to pinpricks, and she slammed the door shut. Fluttershy could hear Rarity screaming all the way down her hallway and heard a door slam shut. Considering the placement of the rooms in Rarity's house, it sounded like her workroom door.
"So, is that a 'no', then?"
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TheEvilCookie · 988 words · 24 17 · 1k views
- Vertigo22 · 3.3k words · 24 4 · 1.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.12 seconds
Total duration
920 users online
1,387,778 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Not a bad story. I was actually thinking that Discord had disguised himself as a rat so that he could mess around with Rarity without being blamed. Only for Fluttershy to come in and recognize him and give him a talking to.
7845067 Thank You for the wonderful comment and for the inspiration for the next one shot that I will submit to my editor in a few days. I look forward to reading many more comments on this story.
I can just imagine someone walking into the room and seeing her like that and they're giving her a confused look thinking, 'What the hell did I just walk in on?'
This is like a Tom and Jerry episode. Aw man, they used to be the shit back then, that was my childhood. Excellent story and well paced. I like the end too and it really feels like a short episode of something. You placed the comedic parts just right and I like how she's trying to do all these things just to get rid of a rat that Discord and Rainbow put in there. What made it more exciting was that I was reading this while listening to Seven Nation Army 1 hour version on youtube. The beat dropped right when the anvil dropped and it just made that scene epic. I like this story, keep up the good work.
Rex Raptor approves:
i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd180/chibionerw/Anime/Rex%20Raptor/09RexRaptor.jpg
7845091 This was the best damn comment EVER! I liked it very much for this is what Icecreammac and I were going for trying to make this as funny as possible.
That was entertaining. Hardly funny in my opinion, but very entertaining.
7847150 What about it didn't you like. I mean you say it is entertaining yet you also so it was hardly funny so I would like to know what about this wasn't funny.
7848084 Dunno. My humor could just be weird. All the antics seemed like Tom and Jerry in a strange way but it just wasn't funny. I didn't laugh.
It was entertaining. Stories on fimfiction are read for entertainment in the long run. So while it wasn't funny, it was more like an entertaining weird little slice of life to me.
Good story. Folklore says rats & mice love cheese. Actually, you do better with peanut butter.
7851590 Thank you for the wonderful comment I am glad that you enjoyed the story.
Oh my gosh the lols! :D
7863135 Thank you for the comment I am happy to see that you liked it. I look forward to reading more comments from you.
7863384 You're welcome! :)
I see what you're going for here-- a slapsticky thing akin to old Tom & Jerry cartoons. And that's neat!
However, the story didn't quite 'click'-- it just feels a little stilted. A lot of this comes from the fact that cartoons are an inherently visual medium, and that's something hard to translate into text form. Still, I encourage you to keep practicing: write a bunch of stuff, and read a lot more, and you're bound to get better and better. Hope this helps!
7935326 Yes this does actually help me as a writer to have a wonderful comment like this helps me to become a better writer. I look forward to reading more comments from you in the future.
I finally got around to reading this story. I enjoyed it immensely.
7967994 Thank you I plan on writing other stories as time passes I hope to hear from you on those as well.
7968035
I've got a huge backlog on stories I want to read right now, and not a whole lot of time to read them unfortunately. I am glad, however, that I got around to reading this piece. It was definitely worth my time, and I'll consider reading your next works when it comes out. Thank you for the read.
7968045 It was my pleasure to both type it and submit it to Icecreammac please can you also thank him as well seeing as how he also gave a great deal of thought to the story as well.
A couple of unnecessary commas. There were a lot that could be revised but here's a couple examples.
My main pet-peeve about this is the overuse of commas.
Professionalism aside, this was good. You captured rarity well, aside from her making traps but I understand it's just for slapstick. I also don't know about RD being very sappy in front of Discord. Otherwise I liked it! Good job and keep it up (Summary: cut down on the commas) ~
7985483 I am not the one that edited this during the process of writing this I wound up not being able to think of anything that sounded funny seeing as I am more use to writing gore and less about funny stuff. So I thus turned the whole thing over to Icecreammac who not only edited it but also wrote most of it as I was only able to get through about two pages worth. I really like how you where able to help with this I will see if I can some how fix this and hope to make it better. I love it when people are willing to share their thoughts on my stories for it helps me to become a better writer.
7985538
No problem. Love to help out a fellow writer even though they weren't all your mistakes.
7985542 Cool. I can't wait to see what you think of my Anon-a-Miss story I know it can be a bit dark in places but that is more of what i am used to writing about. I look forward to reading your comments on that story as well.
7985547
It might take me a bit to get to reading it, as I'm busy on weekdays writing my story revising another persons, and school work. I should be able to get some reading on weekends but that's about it ~
7985721 Take as much time as you need I always love hearing from those that read my stories even if it does take them time to get to the comments. I look forward to reading what you have to say about the story.
8009716 Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment that really helped to brighten up my day. I look forward to reading your thoughts about my other story that is if your willing to read it as well. I hope you have a wonderful day now filled with much laughter and big happy smiles.
Gee, I'd think Rarity of all ponies would call a professional rather than chase the rat herself.
8092670 Yeah I know but I thought it would have been kinda funny to see her do this.
8092673 Oh it is, I'm just saying.
8092712 Cool I hope you have fully enjoyed the stories so far I look so much forward to reading more of your delightful comments when I get more chapters up of Anon-a-Miss.
This was a fun story. The beginning was a little awkward to read ( she did this and she did that kind of thing. It felt a bit wooden) but as things went on, it smoothed out and became another episode of Tom and Jerry. It was rather hilarious and you had Rarity in good character. I love the bit where she starts going on how terrible it was, but then stopped to tell the rat that he was being rude so she could continue on. That was so Rarity.
If I don't review this one this round, It may be the one for the next round. We'll see, but this is a strong candidate.
8115804 Thank you I really am looking forward to it and thank you for the very kind words I know it was a bit confusing at the beginning of the chapter that is largely due to this being my first time with a comedy. I felt I needed to start off slow then work my way into it I really don't like stories that just jump right into the funny stuff when you have no idea why it is supposed to be funny. Thus I wanted to start slow. I hope you have a wonderful night or day filled with much laughter and happy smiles.
8115983 What I mean is that the wording of the first part. There was a lot of "She looked up. She sat down. She thought about what she just said." kind of thing. If you PM me, I can say more. I don't want to clog your story comments.
8116007 I don't mind the story being clogged with comments. I actually look forward to it.
8116011 unfortunately, right now I'm not able to get to a computer as I am with family. But later tonight I'll give you a rundown of how you could improve, and some tips in writing in the future.
8116085 Cool I look forward to it I hope you have a wonderful night filled with much laughter and happy smiles.
Fairly short, simple, but pretty good. I feel Rarity's pain. Rats are just too dang smart sometimes.
I still remember the day I went into my room to eat some Mongolian Beef I had set in a place I though the rats couldn't reach, but when I pulled it out of its bag, it was empty, and two large holes had been gnawed into the bottom.
RIP Mongolian Beef
chowdivine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Mongolian-Beef.jpg
This is a fine, funny story. Really enjoyable.
There are times where some words don't belong and there are also a few word errors, but other than that, this has been very well paced and well done. The beginning seemed a bit out of place but good job.
I have reviewed this here.
Funny story, I liked it, and if you can, I'd like a story where Rarity has to deal with a cockroach.
8993466
I think that might have already been done by someone else. However, if it has not already been done by another author I will look into doing that as soon as I get my other story done. Thank you for liking the story I hope you will enjoy my other story as well.