As everypony knows, there are only four powers in the forces of chaos; Khorne, Nurgle, Tzeentch and Slaanesh. The Imperium of Ponykind's finest soldiers - the Equitus Astartes, Arbitrotters, Mares of Battle and more - are all that stands between them, and total mayhem.
But what if that isn't the case? What if four ponies of Celestia's Most Holy Inquisition followed orders and found something that should never have been unearthed by ponykind, something that will turn everything they know about themselves completely upside down...?
A Warhammer 40K crossover story.
Chapters (1)
This has my full attention!
Pray, Continue.
I like it! Definitely keeping an eye on this!
By the way:
I think you could take one of these sentences out, being that they both essentially say the same thing. Also the second full paragraph would totally work on its own without the parentheses.
Aside from that, you've got a good intro going on here. I'm eager to see where you take things!
7841393 Woops! Thank you for pointing that out, it was indeed me redrafting the sentence.
Thank you for the comment though, this means a lot to me! I just need to work on some of the characters a little bit and I should have another chapter up within a week :)
7841351 Goodness, thank you so much! o///o
7841402 No problem!
I smell heresy... or is that just my tea brewer burning in the kitchen? Whichever it is, good story so far, liked the intro, and the only thing I noticed needing worked on was already pointed out.
Have a
7841509 Thank you for the comment, all this attention is very encouraging! I also plan to write up a couple of little canon stories, but this one will definitely not fall by the wayside whenever I fancy something grim and dark. (And maybe it is heresy. You'll have to read on to see.)
Me likey. Please continue!
7841693 Trust me, your story has my attention, and we will find this heresy
... if its not my new tea maker, the old one did in fact burn out after my brother left the thing on for several hours