Damaged
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Okay, first off, FSP? Anne McCaffery? The author whose Pern stories got me going into literature in the first place? Oh HELL YES! Second, B&B ship? Oh, hell ya. Now things do seem a little disjointed but I'm pretty sure due to this being a first chapter and the gaps are going to be filled in and smoothed. I really like the Kiera character and am almost wondering if she is going to get pulled out of her ship and ponified.
Looking forward to the next chapter :)
And first contact went about as swimmingly as you'd expect!
The real question: which is displaced: the planet, or the universe it seems to have found itself in?
To Celestia: how about them conquering empires?
Keep going! ;)
oh lord
DEFINITELY worth a tracking
Is this a 'The Ship Who Sang' crossover? Coolness. I haven't read that story in twenty, twenty-five years I think.
It's been years since I read a story in this verse. I have to follow it.
>FSP universe
Huh, starting right in the thick of things. You should at least describe in detail the forms Dustin and Belay have been turned into. You didn't even say what color they are!
Autoponification is a troubling effect for this crew. If it reaches Kiera, I can't imagine the result would be very pretty...
I love the concept but I think you need to backup to the beginning before the humans made planet fall and think about world building a little. Also brain ships do sleep for about two to four hours a day according to the books your based this story off of. Good start anyways.
7853858 Oh yes, they sleep at that point. Note the designation number of the ship? The starting point is deliberate, when Celestia and Luna come to visit you are going to get some exposition between the royals and Kiera, of each filling in their side of what happened.
7853826 We must hope the sanctity of a titanium column and heavy shielding will keep her safe.
7852865 Whoawhoawhoa,Hold the Phone! We started our voracious literary habits on the same series from the same author?
Thats awesome, anyway gonna read and see how this cross-over plays out.
7854125 Let me put it this way. In real life, my son's name....is Robinton. Not kidding.
7854146
Not bad, this is interesting and I cant' wait for the next chapter :)
7854146 Bro... That is not a name to take lightly, Hope he changes the world with the same epic grace that the character did.
Yep, I love it.
We like Kiera.
Hey, now that they have a magic, think they can get Cutie Marks?
To Pinkie: if you discovered a pony that was as big as a train engine, how would you throw a party for them?
Keep going! ;)
Oh, you couldn't tell their color, because they were in space suits! Adorable little pony space suits! You should absolutely mention that at the very beginning, describing two ponies in silvery space suits who were arguing with each other.
7861488 Heh
7861518 Yeah, three pages down, and doesn't mention that the suits cover their entire body, or that the helmets are opaque. I think you should put a description at the very beginning, to set the scene. Just my suggestion.
Wow. Thrown right in, are we? Would have been nice if there'd been a prologue.
7882636 As I said, the events that led up to
Jules and Vincenterr, I mean Dustin and Belay, waiting to see the princesses, will be laid out further. What I didn't want was to throw a whole mess of technical stuff at readers right at the start, before giving them cute ponies.7882694
Okay. Fair enough.
I'll keep an eye on this.
great to see an other chapter of this story, I am looking forward to see the next one
So the accident is replayed. Interesting that the magic apparently didn't start happening until the ship itself opened.
Keep going! ;)
I hope their suits were also changing to adapt to their shapes, or they're in for just the worst space-wedgie...
7951273
Celestia comments that "the whole ship seemed like a dead-spot in the flow of arcane life in the world."
Meaning there's either no magic, in which case it's absorbing magic, or its anti-magic, which resists magic full stop.
I'm assuming the former, as Anti-Magic would be limited, unless the ship produces it somehow.
It would act like a shield.
7952986 indeed. It also begs the question of if Kiera herself is contained in a shielded manner somewhat differently but still good enough to deter magic. For comparison.
After all, she can't see it so any data is valuable.
Hmm, well that explains that, but what if ponies are interested in space travel? Has Kiera bought herself, or is this before when brainships could do that? What is the nature of magic, if it's not a form of energy that shows up on scanners? Will the rest of the galactic society benefit from it or covet it? What's the deal with that black hole? Did Princess Luna subconsciously create Kiera and her crew Indian in the Cupboard style because Luna just happens to be a huge fan of old school scifi? Wait no, I think my speculation's getting away from me here.
It's kinda funny how people outright ignore canon that stated that magical gender change are impossible.
8015148 To be fair, that was more a case of "no pony can do those spells," where this was a wild-magic effect. Twilight is simply trying to work out how to undo it.
The show never once said that they are impossible, just that nopony could cast a spell to do it (also leaving out that somepony might MAKE a spell that can).
8015173
Their gender already changed. By what means kinda unimportant I think. But Twilight stated that she can do something that up to this point everyone deemed impossible in span of one week?
Well, unless you saying that this is some kind of active magical effect that constantly force their body into new shape.
8015190 Actually, the method for the change is very important. Telling you why Twilight is confident she can "fix" them would spoil a major plot point, so I shan't be doing that.
Ah, to be female... Isn't it fun?
And Kiera unwittingly has an extra sensor out in the field now, Woohoo!
To Twilight Velvet: aren't the aliens just charming?
Keep going! ;)
Somewhere at the beginning of the chapter you might want to indicate they are traveling by train and not still in the throne room
Velvet x Dust and Night catches them in the act
Oh Velvet, you coy minx! We mean, that's surely one method of distraction, but wow!
Language issues are always fun, it's funny our brawns unconsciously decided to use language that needs no words.
Keep going! ;)
I like.
Dagnabbit! I can only up vote this story once...
Does this mean that you do story commissions? What's your price?
8076961 I do commissions based on "slots." Monthly slots are $20 and 4xMonthly are $80, but I am all full up for the moment, sorry.
Quite the unexpected, but pleasant, twist to the tale.
I should not have been as surprised as I was, the tags are right there at the top of the page and sex is certainly no stranger to McCaffrey's work. She did start out writing a few softcore stories for a pulp magzine back in the day, after all.
So it would seem that in this universe as well, Twilight Velvet and Night Light have a private life that would make their daughter's head explode if only she knew.
There's a missing quotation mark here, before "Two" I think.
8093327 Fixed, thanks!
Well this is escalating quickly.
Good.... Goood
8159322 *dramatic chipmunk meme goes here*
Wow, so the other side of their planet is... well, basically a non-biosphere? Yikes...!
8159782 Blasted constantly by radiation from their star, yes.