Society as We Know It

by Comma Typer

A Glimmer of a Chat

The sky was still overcast—in fact, it was even darker now than before, though the colorful Hearth's Warming lights (plus the regular lights from the houses and the stores) were more than enough to illuminate the way. It was a cold, cozy place—hazy lights up against glittering snowflakes fluttering through to the ground or to a curious pony's stuck out tongue.

Sugarcube Corner, just like the rest of the buildings in Ponyville, had a sheet of snow on top of it; it was rather uneven, though, because of the uneven roofs.

"Huh." Starlight took a good look at the snow-covered bakery before her. "It does fit the season better."

"That's because it's a gingerbread house, silly!" Pinkie said, appearing just beside her.

"What?!" She almost jumped—shivered. "Pinkie! How do you...do that?"

"I...move." She put on her detective's cap and, with a mysterious gait, trotted into the bakery.

Starlight shrugged before she entered.

---

There were less customers inside the bakery than usual. A lone filled-out table stood amongst a sea of unoccupied one—and a few more tables scattered about did have one or two customers munching slowly on their food.

Pinkie Pie popped up from behind the counter, wearing a pink and purple scarf, and dropped a plate of towering chocolate cake right in front of her. It was covered in chocolate frosting, topped with various fruits such as apples, oranges, grapes, and cherries; strawberry-flavored icing topped the cake's rims, and a picture of a smiling Pinkie Pie stood in front of it.

"Anypony want a free cake?!" Pinkie declared.

All the customers looked her way. They shook their heads—though smiling back at her.

"Alright! More for me!"

She turned the plate around at a fast speed—the cake then became a blur. Pinkie opened her mouth wide and accumulated the cake into her mouth as it spun and spun and spun slowly until it was all gone.

Only a single gasp erupted from the meager number of ponies there. The rest only shrugged to themselves or rolled their eyes—a mumble of "It's just Pinkie being Pinkie—don't think too much about it."

Starlight, who was walking by while watching her eat the chocolate cake, raised an ear. "You know what? That's not a good enough explanation."

"The Princess herself gave up on explaining her," the mumbling pony—Crusoe—said to her. "One of the most intelligent ponies in Equestria gave up on making a plausible theory about Pinkie—why bother?" He raised up his hooves and then let them fall down—as if mimicking surrender.

"Maybe it's sleight-of-hoof," Starlight said. "Trixie and Sunburst could do...something like that."

"I understand gobbling up a cake as it spins around," Crusoe said. "But—you've hung out with her a couple times, haven't you, right?"

Starlight nodded. "Yeah, so?"

"So? You haven't noticed the times she just...arrives at a place faster than any of us?"

"Less than a minute ago."

"That's the least of it," Crusoe said—retreating to his food on his table. "But, take it from me: She's Pinkie and that's that." He turned to his food and went on eating.

"O...K?"

She turned around and walked farther inside.

Then, she opened her eyes wide at a figure near the window.

"Just when I was thinking about Thorax..."

---

On Blue Alarm's table was a glass of bubbly soda, a single slice of apple pie with a dollop of cream, a full plate of glazed butter cake, and a big lollipop.

The changeling picked up the lollipop. "This is an...interesting way to prepare food." He rotated it—even threw it into the air, catching it with a dextrous hoof. He smelled it—"Sugary, just as I expected it."

Then, hoofsteps coming closer.

He stuck his head out. "Ah, Starlight Glimmer!"

"Yes, it's...me," Starlight said—forcing a grin as she sat down on the chair opposite to him, awkwardly gawking at the food, glancing then at him. "You're...well, I have to be honest with you—there's just so many changelings that it's hard to keep track whether I met you or if it's the first time. And, there's only six regular color schemes for you."

"We first met when you were playing chess with Humerus," Blue Alarm said.

"Humerus?" Starlight said, raising the pitch of her voice. "You mean one of those...rabid fans from before?"

"He's not so rabid now," Blue Alarm said.

"But chess with him? I don't know...I've played a few more games of chess with other changelings, including Thorax."

Blue Alarm took a sip of his soda. "Well, that's in the past. Actually, I'm a little happy that you're here."

"Why?" Starlight said. "Is it because you're in front of one of your heroes?"

"More than that," Blue Alarm said as he lifted the lollipop into clear view. "I would like to know what is the ideal way of eating a lollipop."

"The ideal way of eating a lollipop?" Starlight repeated, shrinking back.

"I've seen most ponies lick lollipops," Blue Alarm went on, gesturing with his lollipop, "but other ponies just bite it. From the looks of it, it hurts a lot if you bite it, but maybe changeling jaws are stronger—I like to think so."

"Uh..." Starlight scratched her mane, looking out the window at the sky and at the other snow-covered buildings. Then, she looked back. "Why are you asking, again?"

"It doesn't matter to me how the majority of ponies eat a lollipop," he said. "I'm concerned with the best way to eat one."

"It's to lick the lollipop," Starlight answered. "I really don't know why you would want to know, but...now you know."

Another awkward grin from her.

"Thanks!" Blue Alarm expressed before he licked his candy.

Starlight looked at the counter—Pinkie was taking an order from the only pony in line.

"That was...amazing," Blue Alarm said, looking at the lollipop with awe. "I've already tasted a few sweets myself, but having a piece of hardened sugar on a stick and then being able to easily hold it as you fly around—an innovative invention. No wonder it's a hit with the kids."

Starlight giggled a little—and she covered her mouth.

"What's funny?" he asked with an inquiring tone, leaning forward even.

"It's...it's just that—" Starlight cleared her throat "—that you still have that innocence about you."

"Aren't you ponies innocent as well?" he asked. "The griffons seem so grumpy all the time, the dragons are always competing against each other, the yaks smash things a lot. You ponies look very innocent to us."

"Well, whenever I see a changeling," Starlight began, crossing her forehooves on the table, "there's that sense of...wonder at everything you encounter. Me, personally? I have that...not much of the time, though. But, you have it all the time—whether for good or for bad, that depends."

"You can call it a second shot at a good life," Blue Alarm said, placing the lollipop down on the plate beside the cake. "Given the chance to start over with something new—I'm sure that will make most of us treat everything as if it was new."

Starlight nodded. "That's true."

"But, I don't think of myself as that kind of changeling," Blue Alarm said. "Well, not as much as the others like...Humerus."

Starlight sighed, smiling. "Not him again."

"I used to be a scout for our team or squad," Blue Alarm said. "That was because I developed a talent for remembering almost everything with just one or two looks at a place. Then, I honed that talent even further and, as time went on, I grew a liking for catching the small details—and, as a hobby of mine, guessing where this or that pony is going and why. I don't always get it right, but I get a good amount of them correct."

"So—" she pointed at him, a giddy look on her face "—you can tell a pony's entire schedule for the day without having to ask him? Like some sort of investigator?"

"Not really," Blue Alarm said. "Well, not exactly—that's what I meant."

"Have you ever considered joining the E.U.P. Guard or some other related branch of the Equestrian military?" Starlight then asked out of the blue.

He took another sip of the soda. "No."

"Why not? I mean, they're quite open to non-ponies joining the guard."

"We changelings declined the offer together," he said. "Also, Pharynx would get really mad at us."

"Oh—Thorax's brother, I see."

Blue Alarm slid the plate toward her. "You want some?"

"Nah, I'm fine," she said. "Hearth's Warming food is too much for even my sweet tooth."

"I thought you ponies were fine with eating sugar and sweets all day long," Blue Alarm said. "Well, I used to think that way, way back when I was still new to this friendship thing. I knew you ate vegetables and fruits and grain, but a confectioner's is in almost all the towns and cities in Equestria."

"There's foals," Starlight said.

"Yet, how many full-grown mares and stallions do I see milling about in the candy shops? In the choclate shops? At the softdrink establishments or those vending machines?"

"There's a perfect excuse for the vending machines," Starlight said, brushing something imaginary with her hoof with nonchalance.

"I already have a formed answer, but I am ready to hear from you, Starlight," Blue Alarm said.

She cleared her throat again. "Where do you see the vending machines? Usually?"

"In the cities, the urban centers," he said.

"And, what's one of the rules that a lot of pony parents give to their children when they go outside?"

"It's either 'Don't go outside without us' or 'Don't talk to strangers.'"

"Eh, 'Don't talk to strangers' is good enough." She slid the plate back to him. "Anyway, if a foal is told to never go outside without a parent, what does he end up doing?"

"Not going outside without a parent, of course," the changeling replied.

"And, since there's lots of strangers for a foal who lives in a big city like Vanhoover or Fillydelphia, you would not see foals running around on the streets there. The only kids you'll be seeing there are those who have their parents nearby."

"Makes sense," Blue Alarm said, nodding with a hoof on his chin, leaning back on his chair and about to prop his hind legs on the table.

"So, that means that there are not a lot of foals outside on the sidewalks. Which means that the sidewalks are filled with adult ponies. Yet, you always hear it in the news—every week—that a vending machine runs out of soda cans in stock. Which means that ponies use vending machines very often. But, since children aren't frequenting the sidewalks, that means other ponies are the ones emptying the vending machines—and those vending machines are constantly resupplied."

"It could be tourists from other lands," Blue Alarm said. "I myself have used a vending machine. It was a pretty sight—the technology that's in those things. I insert a coin, I press a button, and the machine just knows what to do—it never fails!"

Starlight giggled again—this time not covering her mouth. "You really are innocently optimistic, aren't you?"

Blue Alarm kept up his big smile. "It was the first time I saw a vending machine without having to bother about who to steal love from or without having to mind my starvation."

"A huge relief when you realized you could share love, isn't it?" Starlight said, a hopeful smile on her face with large eyes and an encouraging expression.

"It was, indeed," Blue Alarm said, nodding again. "I don't know about you, but at least I'm not repeating the same mundane cycle of motions to fulfill a hunger I realized would never be fulfilled anyway."

"That would've been a desperate situation," Starlight said.

"So, as much as I think that it's redundant at this point, Starlight Glimmer—"

He took her hoof and shook it

"—thank you."

She looked here and there, then straight at the changeling. Smiling, she said: "You didn't have to do that."

---

Twilight Sparkle sat on a wooden stool as she read another book: "Around Equestria in Eighty Hours". On the round table was a few stacks of many books, each stack having its own paper label—one was labeled "Sci-Fi", one was labeled "History", and the last one was labeled "Encyclopedia Verification".

The castle library's double doors opened.

"Twilight?" Spike said—a little worried. "Everyone's gonna play hide-and-seek in the castle. Wanna join?"

The alicorn turned around and yawned—stretched her forehooves. "I'd love to, Spike, but I'm just beat from flying around and putting in the final touches for the holidays."

Spike sighed. "Tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow, Spike." A pause. "Thanks for checking on me."

"Don't mention it!"

The double doors closed and the baby dragon was out.

Twilight turned back to her book.

A poof.

Twilight's eyes went wide open and turned around again. "Starlight?! What did I tell you about teleporting your way through doors?"

"I...didn't want to disturb you," Starlight said. "In hindsight, maybe knocking would've done the trick."

Twilight blinked and then yawned.

"You're sleepy already?" Starlight said. "But, it's not even sundown!"

"I volunteered for preparing all of Ponyville for Hearth's Warming—and, I even sent out some boxes of decorations to Appleloosa as well, courtesy of Applejack. It's been a tiring day."

Then, she stopped levitating the book.

"What's the matter, Starlight?" Twilight said. "Or, did you learn something about friendship today?"

Starlight looked up. "It's not precisely about friendship, but it's close to it."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Starlight took a seat, sitting down beside her. She rested a forehoof on the table, looking at Twilight's baggy eyes. "Do you remember when you taught me about how casual chit-chat is a sign of a growing friendship?"

"You mean when you and Trixie came over?" Twilight said, straightening up.

"Mm-hmm. And, I noticed something today."

"What is it?"

"Well, I've noticed it today, but I've been noticing for a long time—the thought of it was building up in my mind."

Twilight leaned forward. "What is it?"

"Everyone here chit-chats."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I don't get it. What's your point?"

Starlight sighed. "I was planning to make some epic speech about how friendship enriched our day-to-day lives and that the small talks that ponies—and more than just ponies—have in this town and throughout Equestria and beyond was irrefutable evidence of how friendship not only does things like destroy evil but also makes life here better for all who would open up to the idea of friendship—but, you wanted me to get straight to the point."

Twilight blinked, gently pushing her book out of view. "I...didn't expect that."

Then, Starlight hopped out of her stool. "Since you're very tired—and, it looks like you don't want any more unwelcome visitors—I'll leave you be, Twilight. Thanks for your time!"

And Starlight teleported her way out of the library, disappearing in a glowy explosion of magical blue.

Twilight looked on at where Starlight used to be.

"At least you still learn new things about friendship everyday, Starlight," she uttered as she smiled, levitating the book back to her.