• Member Since 6th Mar, 2014
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Flutterpriest


I write hoers (Ko-Fi/Patreon)

T

Princess Cadance and Shining Armor have to have a very serious discussion about parenthood. Not all ponies are responsible enough to be a parent. So, the two sit down to have a serious discussion. Very Serious.


Caution: This fic is for terrible people. Like me. I'm a terrible person.

Written for anonpencil

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 119 )

My reaction

assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif

And with that, Shining tossed Flurry Heart into the trash. She bounced on the rim twice before falling in. A loud cry filled the nursery.

Jesus Christ, Priest, why you do this ;w;

SO NOT COOL!!!!!!!

What are you?! Some sort of sick freak?! How could you do that to a baby?!

The best fanfiction. Totally within the spirit of the show.

That was just so ridiculous that I can't not upvote it.

There are giant monster attack almost every day

EIther make this an a or make this plural.

also

I think ponies take what gets put in these, and carries it away."

carry or carries? It sounds weird to me as carries but I dont know if its right.

oh and this

Cadance trotted over to him, not because she does what he's told, but because she felt like doing it at the time.

which gender is Cadance? Or is she still undecided?

Either way this was perfect. I could totally see those two behaving like that. Flurry really does need to be kicked to the curb. The only thing she did was make sex canon. Wait didnt Faust answer a tweet that confirmed this? Anyways I still need to read the other story you posted a couple hours ago. You've been busy today.

7866069
Fixed all of them! Thank you man.

I liked this. This brought me several laughs. Am I a terrible person?

7866081

Yes. Yes it does.

I'm a terrible person too.

7866010 Writing such awfulness won't you think of the children you faggot? Love ya babe

This was perfect. I chuckled. 0/10. -ign

Posh #15 · Jan 14th, 2017 · · 3 ·

7866041 The best stories are the ones which start ethical conversations in the comments.

Personally, I think they did the right thing.

"I don't think you're trash though. So you can't."

Haha, the best stories are the unrealistic ones.

This is just the kind of black humour that I can get behind, nothing like trashing babies to start my day. 10/10.

Also, unrelated but kinda not really unrelated question: are you amped up on like 7 different kinds of drugs, because I'm starting to have concerns about you.

And thus, bronies have no right to complain when society views them with disgust. It's heartbreaking to see just how blatantly evil some monsters are.

I.....I.....:fluttercry:

Wow...

Just wow.

7866287 Well, but aren't the characters in this story depictions of some non-bronies society produces? It's not like people similar the story's Cadence or Shining don't exist IRL...

The ending seemed anticlimactic.

You sick bastard.

What the dick Priest?! :rainbowlaugh: Hahahaha!
Oh... this story is sad.
*Upvotes*
Only horrible people would laugh at this!
*Favorites*
What kinda sicko writes this?
*Wipes away tears of mirth*

Loved it, 10/10 needs more trash can.

Reactions:

1: considers down voting story.

Why would I? I read the description, I knew what I was getting into. One of those if you don't like subject matter don't read story

2: considers up voting story.

Now granted I feel bad that some people are idiots and down vote solely based on subject, but the story isn't that amusing to me.

3: pick up Flurry Heart and take her home.

After all one pony's trash us another pony's treasure. (Or whatever she gets used for. :pinkiehappy:)

Is trash your fetish, Anon?

Predictable.

Most of the jokes were too old and stale for my taste.

Idk what I just read but I'll upvote it anyways.

It would be easier (and quicker) to just flush Flurry Heart down the toilet.

I'm giving this a thumbs up and a favorite. It made me laugh. :pinkiehappy:

"I just. We're royalty, Cadance. I mean, yesterday I had to work six whole hours at work! It was terrifying."

Wow, I had to study 14 hours yesterday to finish homework but that shit is still not finished, nice going royality.

"Queen of the Wasteland."
"I wanna be a Queen," Cadance said.
"I don't think you're trash though. So you can't."
"Oh, okay."

WTF, and quick question, What do you think about children?

7866287 Yeah cuz, all brony fanfics are such as this, and anyone with dark humor is the devil.
Granted this ain't my cup of tea exactly, some parts were chuckle worthy, and its offensiveness is funny alone. Some of the writing was sorta bleh. But, *shrugs*. Point is, that's like quoting Family Guy and saying hey, Seth Mcfartloud is an atheist, so this justifies everyone hating atheists. Its pretty non-logical. You can do generalizations and justifications like that with anything.
7866047
If we only tried to capture the spirit of the show, we would be all writing the same thing, then everyone would lose interest.

7866010

It'd be funnier if you slam dunked the baby into the trash can. Welcome to the jam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9FImc2LOr8&t=21s
But that wouldn't fit with the theme.

You are a terrible person. That is all I have to say.

7866287 this is something I expect from the internet in general. If this surprises you or offends you, then god help you if you wander into a public chat room that isn't watched by mods.

Everyone is yelling about how dark and evil this is, and i'm here, laughing my ass off.

Loved it.

9.9/10 "Too much Flurry Heart" - IGN.

I morally think this is wrong BUT
*upvote
Oh how funny it was:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Oh what horrible parents but :rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh:
8/10

I laughed, I cried, and I realised I would be a terrible parent.

10/10 would clop again.

7866287 Nah it just goes to show idiots like you can't read a description.

:moustache: Good story, but I want to address those who are getting triggered in the comments.

1. It's a Comedy. Why are you taking it seriously. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

2. There was a trigger warning stating that it was for terrible people. You failed the test by taking the story seriously. It just means you are unable to take a joke.

3. Goddammit, you are getting triggered over a fucking My Little Pony fanfiction about two magical horses being terrible people. Just take a step back and think about that.

4. There are far better things to get pissed off about on this site alone. Spoilers: It involves the Dark tag and the Mature filter. And probably Gore too. And Sex...

Point is, if you can't handle Flurry Heart being thrown into the trash, good fucking luck with the rest of the Internet. At least this was written with the intention of being a joke.

Eh, as far as dark comedy goes, this one's pretty tame. I've seen far worse on this site and others. Don't see why everyone's so upset. It's pretty funny, and I say that as someone who actually likes Flurry.


7867124 Yeah, this is a LOT better than some of the other, legitimately anti-Flurry Heart stuff I've seen that involve either abortion or brutally killing her, a baby who has done nothing wrong. At least this one's not meant to be taken seriously.

7867167 :raritywink: People take their horses too seriously on this site sometimes, I can tell ya that.

Let's not even get into the Anti-Starlight stuff that was around when S5 ended.

7867169 Oh dear LORD...

This story was completely retarded.

I loved it.

Written for anonpencil

You take commissions?

Watching through her magic crystal ball, the changeling queen shakes her head.

"I tried to warn you guys," she sighs. "Why do you think I sabotaged your wedding?"

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

"I usually just call him dude. It's what I call all the guards."

This is my new Cadance headcanon.

Comment posted by Sapphire Rose 12 deleted Nov 3rd, 2017

This fic is for terrible people.

Written for anonpencil

Discreet.

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