5. Last Eyetem on the Agenda
Rarity leaned from side to side, staring into the Eyeball as it stared back at her.
"Is it just me," she murmured, "or do the two of us have the same eye color? And... should that disturb me? Because, oddly enough, it doesn't."
"Well, who knows?" Pinkie chirped. "You know how there's an entire world out there where all of us are ponies? Maybe this thing's from a world where we're all silent, floaty eyeballs! Maybe this is your alternate universe eyeball doppelganger! Wouldn't that be something?"
Rarity blinked. "Well, that would qualify as 'something.'"
"Right?!" Pinkie fixed the Eyeball with a grin, and it swiveled to bore into her with its piercing, unyielding gaze. "What do I call you, big guy?"
The Eyeball's pupil swirled and took new shape: a thin, black spiral, rotating counter-clockwise, one which flattened and extended into a horizontal line. A ripple ran up and down its length, starting from one end, reaching the other, and then bouncing backward in an endless rhythm that precisely matched Pinkie Pie's heartbeat.
"Think I'll call him 'Ferb,'" said Pinkie.
Apprising Sunset of the Twilights' findings and plans took the better part of the morning. The rest of the day was spent working and gathering the girls to set things into motion. By the late afternoon, most of them had already arrived at Sunset's apartment; Bespectacled Twilight was still en route, having stayed behind to finish alone while Twilight went on ahead. The others waited for her in the kitchen, killing time by commiserating and inspecting the Eyeball. Twilight, for her part, busied herself cleaning Sunset's days-old wine glasses.
The arrangement left Sunset less than thrilled. She didn't mind the company; after living in a state of self-imposed exile for most of the week, it was refreshing to have the others close at hand. Nor did she mind Twilight's insistence on thoroughly cleaning the wine glasses – Twilight seemed to draw some sort of personal catharsis from that. It wasn't even that she had misgivings about the plan.
To her, it was more a question of location than anything.
"Must we really do this in my kitchen?"
"I'm afraid so." Twilight, standing on the opposite side of the Eyeball from Sunset, spoke over the sound of running water. "Other Me and I both agree that the rift should be opened in the same location that the Eyeball emerged into. That provides the best chance of creating a stable passage, as well as sending it back to its original—"
Glass suddenly shattered, startling all present. Twilight, red-faced, peeked out from behind the Eyeball, grinning sheepishly.
"Hey, you... don't actually need more than one wine glass, do you?"
Sunset folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at Twilight, who "eep'd" and retreated behind the Eyeball again.
"Hey Sunset, can I wash your wine glasses?" "Sure thing, Twilight; it's not like you're the kind of girl who hold pencils in her mouth because she doesn't know how to use her flippin' hands." Sunset mentally harrumphed. I am such a genius.
She rubbed her forehead, sighing. "Let's table the issue of Princess Slippyfingers's struggles with fine motor skills for the time being. I get where the two of you are coming from, Twi, but I read the lease agreement, and shredding the space/time continuum isn't covered at all."
"Well, what else'd we do with it? It ain't as if we got a lotta options," said Applejack, putting her hand on Sunset's shoulder. "I mean, maybe we could squeeze it outta th'apartment, but then, takin' it somewhere else'd just draw attention we prob'ly don't want. I mean, a big ol' thing like this is gonna draw some stares, am I right?"
The others all turned to gaze at her.
Applejack sighed. "That wasn't supposed to be a pun, but I guess it kinda worked out like one, now, didn't it?"
"Plus," Rainbow Dash added. "Doin' it here means that we can throw a kickass movie night immediately afterward. With wine! I saw that bottle in the cupboard – you've been holdin' out on us!"
Fluttershy nudged Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "Um, not to reopen old wounds, Rainbow, but remember your little misadventure in ninth grade? I think that's more than enough exposure to alcohol for you until you come of age."
Rainbow Dash flushed, irritated, and folded her arms. "You pass out from drinking watered-down cider at one party, and you never live it down..."
Fluttershy smiled and patted her friend on the back.
There was a knock at the front door. Sunset quietly excused herself and went to answer it. The field hockey stick was braced against the knob, acting as a makeshift lock; she pulled it aside and opened the door. A slightly disheveled and thoroughly bespectacled Bespectacled Twilight shuffled into the apartment.
"You didn't need to knock, y'know," said Sunset, shutting the door and replacing the stick against it. "The lock's busted, and it's not like this thing'd stop someone who can move stuff with her brain."
"Common courtesy?" Bespectacled Twilight replied. "I'd offer to fix your lock for you, but that's outside my area of expertise. Now, you want me to chart the cosmos, map the unknowable, and peer beyond the curtain into the fifth dimension beyond sight and sound?"
A purple disk dangled around Bespectacled Twilight's neck, and she raised it to eye level for Sunset to inspect. The plastic case was dented and blackened, but it thrummed with some unseen power.
"I'm your gal." Bespectacled Twilight grinned.
Sunset pointed at the disk. "No offense meant, Twilight – I trust you – but I do not have fond memories of you using that thing in the past."
"Neither do I, but repairing and modifying this girl here was faster and easier than building a new one from scratch. She's a little beat up, granted, but she should still be able to open a dimensional rift." Bespectacled Twilight rapped her knuckles upon the case. "Without ending all life in the multiverse. Or making me go all crazy and sexy again."
"Everybody wins. But mostly me." Sunset pulled Bespectacled Twilight in for a hug, sandwiching the disk between their chests. "You have any idea how much I appreciate this?"
Bespectacled Twilight squeezed back. "It's the least I could do. I mean, you did me a solid once. The 'crazy and sexy' fiasco?"
They parted, and Sunset guided her into the kitchen with the others. Twilight had emerged from behind the Eyeball, and was pulling a pair of rubber gloves off her hands. She averted her eyes from her counterpart as soon as the pair entered the room, instead focusing very intently on one of Rainbow Dash's aglets.
Bespectacled Twilight clapped her hands. "Okay! So. We all ready to do this?"
"There are no acceptable answers besides 'yes, yes, for the love of all that is good and holy,'" Sunset quickly interjected.
Murmurs to that effect resounded throughout the room.
Bespectacled Twilight nodded. "Great. Everybody knows their role?"
"Hold hands with Applejack and shoot a light show out of my boobs," Rainbow Dash muttered. "Just like at Rumble's Bar Mitzvah."
The girls linked hands and formed a semicircle in front of the Eyeball, with Sunset in the center. Bespectacled Twilight stood off to the side, looking uncertainly at the Eyeball.
"You know, I've been thinking," Bespectacled Twilight said hesitantly. "Are you absolutely sure you want to get rid of it? I mean, this isn't the best part of town, and it does make a handy home defense system."
Sunset's jaw dropped. "It ate my robbers! I mean, it was trying to help, I guess, but still, you can't just eat criminals – it's illegal, and stuff. And immoral! Imagine if you all had eaten me when I was bad. Or if I'd eaten you, Twilight!"
Bespectacled Twilight blushed, turned her head, and coughed. "Yeah, can't have that, can we?"
"And it could have eaten me! It still could!" She stepped away from the others and glared at the Eyeball. "Sorry, big guy, but I don't feel comfortable having you in my home if you're capable of that kind of... of..."
Sunset trailed off as the Eyeball spun to stare at her; she stared back with rising anxiety. Then its pupil elongated obscenely, stretching out of its body. The others, aghast, watched in horrified fascination as a shape emerged – a human body, coated in black slime, yet with visibly female curves. It plopped to the ground with a wet smack, before another body, a man's, slithered from the pupil and fell on top of it.
Sunset's legs buckled.
Applejack and Bespectacled Twilight hurried forward, on either side of her, and caught her under her arms before she could collapse. Fluttershy broke ranks and rushed to the pair of bodies as the Eyeball's pupil receded and returned to normal. She knelt and cradled the man's head in her hands, tugging off his mask and leaning her ear close to his pallid face, before doing the same to the body beneath him.
"They're alive," she declared. "But I'm not sure either of them is conscious—"
The man rolled off of his sister and trembled on the ground, startling Fluttershy into backing away on her hands and knees.
"A wrench in the gears," he whispered. His eyes were wide, his pupils pinpricks. "Blood-soaked boots stain sacred ground unmeant for human feet."
"The lord is the third is the lord is the third is the lord," said his sister, Killjoy in the same tiny voice. She curled, fetal, choking back sobs. "Wrong. It's all wrong."
Sunset looked from one, to the next, to the Eye.
"Yeah, I think we're done here." Her throat was dry, and her voice raspy, and she cleared her throat to summon some strength back into it. "Someone, uh, get them out of the kitchen, please and thank you."
Fluttershy took hold of her companion, while Bespectacled Twilight pulled the girl to her feet. She peered closely at her face, frowning in concentration.
"I swear, I've seen her before. Pretty sure she used to go to Crystal Prep..."
"Her name's Killjoy," Sunset offered. "I think."
Bespectacled Twilight shook her head. "Deja vu, I guess."
The pair ushered the burglars away from the Eyeball, into the living room, and returned to the semicircle. Fluttershy linked hands with Pinkie, while Bespectacled Twilight took a position off to the side.
"Ready when you are," she said.
Energy crackled and rippled around the seven. They sprouted ears and wings and ponytails, and their bodies lifted slowly, hovering inches off the ground. Hair and clothing whipped around them; cabinets and cupboards flapped and slapped noisily as gusts of energy swirled through the room.
Sunset's eyes met the Eyeball one last time. Its pupil shifted into a new shape – a U, it looked like, crude and lopsided. Its iris flashed once.
Sunset cocked her head quizzically. She tried to say something.
Then the auras rippling around the girls coalesced into spheres in front of their chests. Seven beams of seven different lights lanced out and collided in the same spot, in front of the Eyeball, blocking it from Sunset's view. Then an eighth light joined it, a white light, shining from the opened mouth of Bespectacled Twilight's device.
The fabric of reality gave way, and a vortex of light and darkness appeared. Inside, swirls and whorls and patterns churned and frothed, in every color conceivable, in grays and whites and blacks, in tones and hues unfathomable. Shrieks and screams and bellows of fury, of triumph, of agony and defeat, resounded from inside the vortex.
The Eyeball drifted inside, and was gone. Bespectacled Twilight slammed the device shut, and the magic maintaining the portal ceased. Gradually, the seven drifted back to the ground, their auras and extraneous pony parts vanishing.
For a long moment, none of them spoke. Sunset broke the silence.
"So. Universe still seems to be here. Gonna go out on a limb, say the spell worked."
"As an expert in virtually every scientific field known to human and ponykind," Twilight added, glancing around the room. "I'm forced to corroborate your findings. Spell worked. Everyone's alive. And there's no sign of any floaty Eyeballs."
Pinkie Pie clicked her tongue. "Darn shame."
Sunset blinked at Pinkie, but didn't pursue that line of inquiry.
"Thank you," she said, warmly and sincerely, looking from one face to the next. "I got my apartment back, and we didn't break the universe. All in all, a net win."
"You know what'd be a good way to thank us?" Rainbow Dash said, grinning and rubbing her hands together. "Movies. And/or wine. Possibly pizza; the night's still—"
"Darling," said Rarity with a smile. "I think perhaps what Sunset needs right now is her privacy. That was rather the point of this whole exercise, was it not? Plus, I think those two in the other room have a long-overdue date at a police precinct. And/or a psychiatric ward."
Sunset bid each of the girls farewell with a hug and a personal word of thanks. "Just gimme a day or two to rest and tidy up, and we'll have that movie night," she promised.
"With wine?" Rainbow Dash asked, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Probably not. Pizza, though."
Rainbow Dash's hopeful expression vanished, and she sighed. "That's... fine. I guess."
She plopped down the stairs and joined Rarity, who strained against the weight of the male robber leaning limply against her. Rainbow helped by slinging his other arm over her shoulders, and the two hefted him together.
The girls were personally accompanying the traumatized robbers to the nearby police precinct, mostly at Fluttershy's insistence. She passed by Sunset on the stoop, supporting Killjoy with both arms, and the friends exchanged a knowing smile before she descended the stairs.
Twilight lingered with Sunset after the others left, her body stiffening as Bespectacled Twilight paused on the steps to speak with her.
"S-So!" Bespectacled Twilight blushed and linked her hands behind her back. "Now that we've got that business out of the way, I was thinking we could, I dunno... pick up some ice cream and catch a movie at home? What do you say?"
Twilight grinned shakily. "Uh, heh... that sounds—"
"Actually!" Sunset interrupted, stepping forward. "I was gonna ask Twilight to crash with me tonight. Now that the Eyeball's gone and all, she and I have some catching up to do. If that's alright with you, Twi."
Twilight stifled whatever look of profound relief threatened to break onto her face, and wore a placid, neutral smile. "I think I would like that very much, Sunset. Sorry, Other Me."
"...Oh." Bespectacled Twilight's face fell. "Alright. I'll... I'll see you around, then..."
She trudged away after her friends, leaving Sunset and Twilight alone in front of the apartment.
Twilight sighed, slumping against the doorway. "Thank you."
"You seemed like you needed some space. And you don't have an excuse not to crash here anymore, right?" Sunset watched them leave with a smile, her eyes lingering on Bespectacled Twilight. "Besides, easy money says she would have made a pass at you before the night was out."
"Yeah, if anything, that would come as a relief after three days of non-verbal cues and actions." Twilight sighed. "You know, the other night, I'm pretty sure she measured my bust in my sleep. She asked me if she could while I was getting ready for bed, and I said no, of course, but when I woke up, I had these marks – like, from a tape measurer – running across my—"
Sunset's laughter killed the rest of that sentence, and through Twilight tried to be indignant, she was soon laughing along with her.
The girls stepped back into the apartment, and Sunset shut the door behind them, bracing it with the field hockey stick. She stepped over to her couch, flopped down onto it, and sank deep into the cushions. Sunset sighed and propped her feet up on her table, her eyes fluttering shut.
She felt the cushion sink beneath Twilight's weight as she joined Sunset on the couch. Sunset's eyes opened halfway, and she looked sidelong at the Princess.
"Hey, so, Twilight." Sunset paused, hesitating. "This morning, when you thought I came over to apologize for Flash... you were kinda right. I am sorry about that. I know you two... well, y'know."
"Yes, I do know. You're not incorrect." Twilight shook her head with a melancholy smile. "It's alright. I mean, given your history together, it kinda makes sense that the two of you would hook up at least once, if not just get back together. And something tells me the H.M.S. Flash Sentry, Prince Consort to the Princess of Friendship isn't a ship that's gonna leave drydock anytime soon, no matter how many notebooks I fill with that exact phrase. So I can't exactly hold it against you, now, can I?"
Sunset blinked. "Er... notebooks? Plural?"
"A girl's gotta have a hobby." Twilight smirked. "I know I already apologized for... you know, everything... but I wanna say again, I'm sorry for being so self-involved. I shouldn't have assumed that you showed up this morning to talk about Flash when you were so obviously distraught about—"
"The Eyeball eating two people? Probably not."
"I was sleepy," Twilight whined.
"Yeah, so was I. Somehow, I didn't lose my ability to read facial cues and body language, you big goof." Sunset shoved Twilight playfully and shook her head. "But we're good. I don't hold it against you. On the contrary, it's actually kind of encouraging if even the Princess of Friendship screws up from time to time."
"It's all a constant process of trial and error, yeah. Rest assured, I'll be writing a report to Princess Celestia detailing my findings. 'Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that, sometimes, your best friend wants your crush to bend her over a sink, and you just gotta be okay with that.'"
Sunset blanched, until Twilight burst out laughing.
"Did you seriously think that I—?"
"Yes! You sold it very, very well," said Sunset grouchily. "Devious little..."
Twilight's laughter died down, and she scooted closer to Sunset on the couch. "Y'know, all kidding aside... we really don't get to spend a lot of time together, for obvious reasons. But I'm here, now, and I wasn't planning on going back to Equestria for another day or two. Maybe we could do something? Just the two of us?"
"You sure you can afford to dilly-dally here for much longer?" Sunset said, smirking. "I hear being a Princess is a lot of work. To say nothing of 'teaching.'"
"Spike's ruling as regent until such time as I return. He's very efficient. Brutal and tyrannical, but efficient. Equestria's well taken care of, I assure you. Although it might be in dire need of a steam-cleaning when I get home."
Sunset stared blankly at Twilight. "Was that an auditory hallucination from sleep deprivation, or did you just say what I think you just said?"
"Depends on what you heard, doesn't it? As for 'teaching...' it's an important part of my life, true."
Twilight reached over to take Sunset's hand in her own.
"But it's just like I said. You're every bit as important to me, Sunset."
Sunset, exhausted and tongue-tied, squeezed Twilight's hand back before separating herself. She reached for the remote control and switched on her TV, to some black-and-white period piece, and leaned onto her side, resting her head on Twilight's lap.
"Y'mind if I take a nap here, Twilight?" Sunset yawned and shut her eyes again, pulling her knees onto the couch with her.
Twilight chuckled, running her hand through Sunset's hair and weaving a lock around her fingertip. "Not at all."
"...I'm probably gonna drool on your skirt, you know."
Twilight swatted Sunset's forehead. "Too far."
"Hey, my broken-ass apartment, my rules. That means I drool where I want. Leave if you don't like it."
"...Never," said Twilight softly.
I know.
Sunset smiled against Twilight's lap as she drifted off.
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Now I want to see a sequel where exactly that happens. Spike on Twilight's back steaming the water she's carrying while flying and blasting it all over Equestria, ponies fleeing in terror.
Overall a great fic, absolutely hilarious with some nice emotional moments thrown in though a few bits short of amazing. The biggest weakness (biggest being very relative here) is probably small issues with the pacing, certain scenes dragging on a bit too long, mainly the SciTwi harassing PT ones, while other parts felt a little rushed, mainly certain payoffs like the eye ate two people part. The tone shifts at times also felt a bit disjointed, though that was probably due to the pacing at parts. Only other issue I had was there was too much of SciTwi harassing PT. It was hilarious at first, but by the third chapter it felt stale, even though the joke was used in different ways.
Poor SciTwi. She just needs to hook up with someone. At least Sunset's extradimensional houseguest is gone though, and presumably safely back where it belongs. Great chapter.
Things are wrapping up nicely!
I'll echo 8144622 on the Sci-Twi thing, though. Her depredations were one of the funnier aspects of the original version, but the additional time and space that's allocated to burrito-esque development of Sunset throws off the comic timing. And actually that applies to more than just her; I'd say the funny has been dialed-down in the middle section, in part due to its length. Like the jokes are still there but the joke density is lower.
Still good though.
8141021
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcm0nsZE931rhf7i8o1_500.gif
Thank you for summing my thoughts about Starlight GlimGlam. Also, the fact she is OP as fuck.
*SPITTAKE*
What?!
So...epilogue and then done? This has been a fun ride.
There's a story there that desperately needs to be expanded upon.
Next chapter: Either the conclusion, a hook for a sequel, or THIS BABY AIN"T OVER YET!
8144756
8144784
In the original version, the line was "Just like at Thunderlane's Bar Mitzvah." Since Thunderlane is of an age with Rainbow and the others, that would indicate that they were all, like, thirteen when this happened, long before they got pony powers.
I thought the implication was funny, but it didn't make much sense. So now it's his brother's Bar Mitzvah. Still means Thunderlane is Jewish, either way.
On the one hand, good thing the Eye didn't actually kill those robbers. On the other hand, killing them might have been less horrible for them. Glad that eyesore is gone, now there's finally room for some Sunset and Twilight bonding. At least Princess Twilight didn't wake up on a table in Bespectacled Twilight's basement lab, though a lot of other things already went over the line.
So just an epilogue left? I wish Sunset and Princess Twilight could have had more time together, but at least they've cleared up most of the issues between them. Just hope that eye thing actually went home and didn't end up in Ponyville or Discord's place (or Canterlot). Great fic, most of it had a good balance between having a surreal other-dimensional eyeball house guest and friendship problems.
Yeah, Sci-Twi, we all know you subconsciously miss your demon persona...
That must've been an unforgettable sight... Cue the mass "oi vey" and several people losing their kippot.
Sunset really wants Twilight to have awkward dreams...
Someone contact Maynard James Keenan. After a day inside of the Eye, one can write Tool lyrics. On a side note, if those two remember that they were eaten by a giant eyeball, Sunset may end up having to deal with a police visit (though maybe not about an eyeball, but rather having a meth lab in the kitchen).
Why do I feel that something crazy's still gonna happen?
8144844
Maybe because the story is still marked "Incomplete".
Princess Twilight needs to move on from her stupid idiot obsession.
for *the time being.
But only up to the fifth dimension. She's not Buckaroo Bonzai.
And no one else in the room got this? *sigh*
This needs more. Also Celestia's reaction. Also also Luna's reaction from reading over Tia's shoulder.
Eye'm gonna miss that guy.
8145660 *geye
Eyeball came through a weakened section of the universe that has now been further weakened by rupturing the same spot again.
Sunset Shimmer's kitchen has not had its last visitor.
I hope those criminals are okay though. Still, don't do the creyem if you can't do the teyem inside eyeball juice prison.
Nicely done. Would read about Sunset dealing with disembodied eyeballs again.
8144622
I was thinking I wanted to see Spike doing the ruling, but that would work too,,,!
8146071 This.
Also, we do see her favor mouthwriting over handwriting in Rainbow Rocks.
I question whether his rule is even pg13 rated. I doubt it.
Super gay indeed.
I do not understand either part of this.
8147722 What about it are you having trouble with?
8147788
and
8147868 In the first instance, Sunset thought that Twilight was seriously going to write a friendship report detailing her aborted attempt at seducing Flash Sentry, and her own irritation that Sunset would put her perfectly manicured hands all over Twilight's not-boyfriend. In the second, Sunset thinks that Twilight just outlined the tyrannical (and moist) reign of Regent Spike, and is asking for clarification.
Both times, Twilight was just screwing with her. One of the best things a friend can do with another friend is screw with their perceptions while they're sleepy.
8147878 ..."moist" reign of Reagent Spike? And what's so hard to believe about that?
8147889 Well, yeah. Moist. From all the bloodshed that would follow in his wake. All hail Spike, the Tyrant King, and so forth.
Anyway, the last time Spike took on authority in Twilight's absence, he sort of created a civic crisis that only abated when he personally apologized to a city full of political delegates. I don't think Twilight's going to cede power to him willingly until he's at least of a height with the rest of their social circle.
Come to think of it... who is below Twilight in the line of succession? Blueblood?
I have several questions about Rumble's Bar Mitzvah.
One might go so far as to call him draconian.
But yeah, this was super gay in the best possible way. It looks like things will end well for everyone who didn't intentionally break into Sunset's apartment.
8145856 I agree. Sunset should really keep an eye on that spot.