• Member Since 23rd Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

zero504


Love the MLP Community and like to meet new friends!

T

The past is an unusual thing, sometimes it can bring pain or it can bring happy memories. Maximilian has known pain and suffering for 17 years of his life. Dealing with the past is painful, But what if there was something in the past he had no clue existed? Something dealing with Equestria.

This story is about coming to terms with the past and making a new beginning in a setting unlike Max has ever seen. It's a story about going to Equestria and discovering secrets and finding the biggest thing of them all... Hope.

Hi, everypony, My name is Maximilian and this is my first fanfic. I am excited to bring you this tale of intrigue and mystery and a lot of fun along the way. Comments are always welcome and also encouraged. However, I do ask to not be cruel.

This Story has a few references from Digimon, and Undertale. Possibly a few from Dragon Ball Z. They are not exactly crossovers, but there are a few cameos from time to time. I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 36 )

What does the crest of hope have to do with this story?

Downvoted for not knowing how to write an ellipsis, never mind a coherent fiction.

sry isseus i deeply apologize as i am not exactly a writer. but i will try better. maybe you can help me? Also shagohad12 the crest of hope has to do with a cutie mark the character gets.

I deeply apologize. this is my first time doing this so things aren't exactly the best but thanks for your feedback.

The story is a bit of a mess. Lack of consistent capitalization and a coherent mess.

But,

There is passion here.

Some would say that this is a shameless self insertion/ fantasy fic, and it is; but if that's what you want to write, I say go for it.

Don't give up. Polish your work learn how you can make it better, read other works and pick up pointers.

I don't really have time to edit myself but if you ever need to bounce ideas let me know.

Keep at it!

7847617 But, then it might as well just be a digimon crossover

7848403 it's not a digimon crossover to be honest. It is one of those stories with an element. I wanted to keep it a secret but yes it's the Element of Hope. And trust me this aint your typical fanfic either. I put a lot of heart in this story and part 2 is almost done. it should be ready tomorrow when I get off. and trust me it's a doozy. The story, It's going to be quite interesting what I planned out. And yeah, I did put myself in here, But hey I think it will still be interesting. thanks to all who are following and supporting. The second should be a tad more in depth and hopefully less errors.

7847859 thanks again sipioc, I apologize that it wasn't my best, but as I said I can only improve from here. I am not a writer but I try to make things interesting. Hope I can get better soon. Hope this second part is better then the first.

7848508 Nonsense. Like I said, you write for you.

I don't consider myself a writer either but working on it I was able to get decent at least.

Your first fic is always the worst it's the one you trouble shoot with. Use it as a learning experience like I did!

Sinceramente la historia esta muy mal armada hasta el momento ya que presenta contradicciones fatales, en la tierra no hay magia ya sea externa o interna, sea o no alicornio no importa ya que en la tierra sus aptitudes, habilidades magicas y vuelo no aplicarian menos si tomas algo basico como la fuerza de gravedad. Un ejemplo de lo que se da a entender es como decir que un niño humano cualquiera fue a nadar al sol únicamente en traje de baño.

Repito ,la historia no es mala pero la estructura es pésima.

Lo siento pero simplemente no, mas contradicciones que el capitulo anterior , al menos agrega que tipo estaba muy drogado o tenia un derrame cerebral para que la mayoría tenga sentido. Elimina elementos innecesarios pqra que la lectura sea más entretenida.
No tiene sentido que desarrolles a los personajes si la historia simplemente no es coherente o al menos no es tratable.

I would like to mention here, that I have redone the first chapter and edited it, and fleshed out some of the story. I apologize for the mess of my first chapter the first time. Hopefully you will re read it and then make new comments. I hope it turns out a bit better. Also, if you haven't already check out my blogs. I think you will find them interesting to read. Also, feel free to add me to Skype if you have it. I am hyperzero504. Also, I am on Discord as well so add Omegazero504#1836

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

I see the crest of hope. You got my attention and my up-vote. I'm a simple man after all.

Gonna read this after I finish reading the trilogy of The 5th Wave(I'm in the Infinity sea) and another story that caught my attention before this one. Seems promising though so we shall see.

hey does anyone think i should split the second chapter up? also, for those who are following the story, what do you feel the Element of Hope should manifest itself as? I would love people's opinions.

I apologize for the lack of content. I cant write the stories on my phone. Keep an eye on my blog or details and status updates. Thanks

7914866
How about a bracelet or gauntlet?

Not bad so far, lots of room for improvement, but its no where near the worse I've seen on this sight. Two of the biggest things I noticed is that you tend to enclose every sentence in every speaking part in its own set of quotation marks. This is highly unnecessary.

"This means less problems for all. When we get there as well please remember to behave yourselves as we are not part of their world." "We must be diligent and not go anywhere without all of us together. It can be quite overwhelming for anypony."

should be

"This means less problems for all. When we get there as well please remember to behave yourselves as we are not part of their world. We must be diligent and not go anywhere without all of us together. It can be quite overwhelming for anypony."

The second big thing I noticed is that you sometimes put multiple peoples speaking parts in the same paragraph. If a different character is speaking, they get their own paragraph.

Other than those and a few other little nitpicks, its not bad so far. Hopefully you get your PC issue worked out so you can continue!

damn, how many showers a day does this guy take?

Discord show up and the only thing he doe is pinch himself and than roll with it. He don't even question is sanity ? No freaking out ? Nah i'm out.

8256919
Lol, Discord is a bit unpredictable.

I'm more concerned about this curse Discord was talking about.

8303932
hehe the curse is simple enough. I am stuck as a 16 year old forever. Which means puberty might be a royal pain. Also, think about it. Being stuck as a teenager may mean you aren't taken seriously.

8305956
God help him when the libido kicks in.:rainbowlaugh:

8305971
lol libido. I not familiar with that term. Still, In real life and in this story I am awkward as heck when it comes to Sex.

8513192
thanks for pointing that out, i will fix it later. Appreciate the feedback on my spelling.. Sigh i suck at writing.

8514509
Its 'Kay, everyone has common mistakes

please see my blog post, for my reason behind the hiatus.

I say keep it focused on our main man here. Also can't wait to see more soon.

7881345
Where's Sassy Saddles? She works at Rarity's Canterlot boutique. And it's Flurry Heart.

Subscribe to Sans Gaming.

im going to read this story as it comes out i can't wait to read more of this story its exciting

i like the possibility of max being ageless if he can't age now

Pegasi, Whenever they feel a huge attraction for someone, their wings get stiff. (ha! a wing boner)(don't judge me) Pegasi actually have the strongest sex drive then most Ponies for some reason. " Reminder to self: Do not get any Pegasi, especially Rainbow Dash aroused. "

Well... Pegasi ARE known in folklore to be Symbols of Virility...

No sooner, then I started to get up Lyra sat me down again using her Magic. "Your not going anywhere, Max. Besides, we're not done yet. Plus, thanks to my Magic, Nopony can come in here. It's just us three." said Lyra. Bon Bon smiled and then said, "Sorry Max, looks like there is no way out except through us." The room swam in front of me, The Pheromones they were giving off were way too intoxicating. I suddenly felt dizzy. I went out like a light. Lyra and Bon Bon chuckled. "That was easy Bon Bon." said Lyra. "I know, We really owe Quick Quill for that one!" said Bon Bon excitedly.

He was just administered Pony Chloroform... lol

10988623
hehe yep. i got messed up quick. thanks for the comment and such. hope your day is going well.

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