• Member Since 2nd May, 2015
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

snappleu


Feel free to recommend a story! I'll read it probably next year.

E
Source

“You coulda just a-a-a-asked.”
Applejack had many chores to complete with Applebloom before the Sisterhooves Social. It probably would have been less work if she just asked the sheep to go through the gate themselves, right?

May contain spoilers for the Sisterhooves Social episode, but I'm pretty sure you've all seen it already.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

"... I'm not sure why this is so funny so I'm gonna put it in the junk mail library until someone points it out"

7836471

I understand if this story isn't your taste. I just got the idea from re-watching the episode anyway.

I still thank you for your feedback. I'm not a really funny person, to be honest. This is just my crack at comedy. If more people don't find this funny, or have to agree with your opinions, then I will take the comedy tag off.

Sorry for the wall of text. This is one of my first stories and I'm kinda new to this. If you have any tips to help, please let me know.

7837603 It's not that the concept is funny, that part's hilarious, the way you wrote it however needs a makeover. It's overall less of a story and more like an attempt at a punchline. Your storytelling seems to be bland and fast pace with some grammar errors, meanwhile, I'm always having trouble trying to understand what your characters were saying, and while I'm enjoying being immersed in the writing experience, I kept on running straight into your jokes like a brick wall.

7837685

Completely understandable, as I myself even know that I can't write very well. Then again, everyone has an opinion.

Is there anything else I should work on? Any tips?

7837791 This looks like a rough draft rather than a true story:derpytongue2:

7837927

If you insist, then.

Thank you for feedback.

That ending irritated me... A lot. I have to deal with indignant jerks with that kind of attitude every day at work. You practically bend over backwards for them and if you actually lose your temper with them they get indignant and say you could have just said so... When you had spent the last ten minutes doing just that.

7839785

That's kinda what I was going for. Haha!

I hope it didn't bother you too much. :P

7840827 It bothered me enough to leave a dislike on the story. Honestly it had potential and then you go and blow it by using the ignorant asshole stereotype for the sheep.

7841118

I'm sorry. I didn't think someone would take it so personally.

Still, it's different for everyone, so there is really no point for me to change it. I might if I get enough hate for it.

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