• Member Since 19th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

AlphaRidley


I don't know what I'm doing 90% of the time.

T

Twilight Sparkle has approached The Great and Powerful Trixie asking her if she is willing to be Princess Luna's student. Trixie of course, is not interested. She has everything she's ever wanted in life in her show known Equestria round, and she certainly does not need all the drama that comes with being a Princess' student. Nor does she want to be anywhere near Celestia.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 19 )

I could get behind more of this, it feels like it might turn out more slice-of-life-y than something filled with drama though as the singular genre tag may imply.

7836439 Really? Actually... I can see it. If I decide to continue this then I'll add that tag, but if I don't then there's no need to.

7836446 You don't have much of a plan for this do you?

7836458 Not at all. I got the idea yesterday and I wrote it today. The closest I'll get to a plan for this is when to have Luna teach what to Trixie, and that's only if I get that far.

7836533 I'd love to put out more. But I have to figure out what Luna could teach Trixie first.

7836465 I could PM you a few ideas for a general direction and see if you like any of them?

7836541 That would be awesome!

Interesting. But Trixie should indeed become Luna's student me thinks.

More please if possible :pinkiehappy:

7836657 I'll be doing more, no worries. It might be a bit though.

There are grammatical errors a plenty, but much the same can be said for every story. What most peeved me was this particular section:

Twilight balked at how angry Trixie was. "Well... Why not?" She spoke hesitantly, afraid to get Trixe any madder than she already was.

Trixie let herself relax, the sudden burst of anger disappating. "Of course that's what you'd want to know. Well, since you certainly won't leave Trixie alone until she tells you, Trixie supposes she'll have to indulge you."

The reason being that Twilight ditches her character and says something she knows will spite Trixie without even trying to be the slightest bit polite about it only moments earlier expressing hesitance in fear of angering Trixe further. It's highlighted further when in the next paragraph Trixie for some reason says "of course that's what you want to know." Its a redundant line that serves no purpose, she didn't even make it sound sarcastic or arrogant.

But it's still better than anything I could ever write so my opinion's forfeit. I guess I should be making my leave now, I'm only writing this so I don't have my own atrocious stories, oh how I despise writers block.

All right! This is refreshingly different from the norm. I'd very much like to see more of this.

And by "the norm", I mean that almost every other story on the theme has Trixie practically leaping at the opportunity to apprentice herself to Luna, Celestia or Twilight, despite the fact that 1) she's an adult with an adult's life to concern herself with, 2) she's a stage magician and needs to focus on improving her skills in that field, which most potential mentors would be ill-equipped for, and 3) she's an extremely proud pony who would be offended by the implication that she'd need to relearn her abilities from the start, or that she should become dependent on somepony else when she's happily independent. (Twilight obviously doesn't understand this, because she sees the pursuit of more knowledge as the most important thing ever, and she glorifies Celestia, so she thinks that studying under a princess is something that anypony would desire above anything else.)

Contrast Starlight Glimmer, who was desperately in need of learning friendship due to her loneliness and toxic worldview. Trixie, for all her faults, is a much more balanced and healthy individual.

Which is not to say that stories with Trixie as the student can't be good, but they have to go further than making her a Twilight knockoff who is desperate to learn stuff for the sake of learning. You have to ask "What does Trixie want to get out of this?"

And, again, a refreshing change from the norm. I'd love to see more of this, definitely.

This will either be continued or labeled as a one shot based on if I can think of anything for Luna to teach Trixie.

Before that, Twilight has to, one, confront her friends with Trixie's accusations and whether or not they are true, and two, convince her friends to make a formal apology to Trixie no matter the validity of Trixie's accusations, and three, convince them to allow said apologies be printed for all of Equestria to read. Then, and only then, do you worry about what Luna will teach her. Though one thing I can think of off the back is teleportation. I know that in itself will be difficult for Trixie to comprehend. After all, how many ponies do we see actually being able to do so (without magical artifacts).

7837318 Anything Twilight does with her friends will be 'offscreen'.

I honestly hadn't thought of teleportation, so thanks for reminding me that it exists. It is something that Luma can teach Trixie, but... whether or not Trixie will want to learn it is a whole nother matter.

7837066 Soo.... you tell me there are grammatical errors, but don't tell me what they are so I can fix them?

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Umm... I'm not seeing it (probably because I wrote it and therefore have a bias). What exactly does Twilight say that she knows will make Trixie mad?

7837146 I agree with everything you just said. Literally everything. Oh, don't worry, you'll be getting more.

I definitely want to see more. Something she could learn from Luna would be more advanced spells and ways to make her stage magic far better than she ever could by herself which in turn would improve her image even further and gather a larger audience and fanbase than she could've alone. Heck if played her cards right she could gain the potential to become an alicorn princess or even discover something Twilight couldn't that could help Equestria as a whole in some way.

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