I'm done. I just don't have fun writing stuff anymore. You're free to take any of this material as your own. Have fun!
After Rainbow Dash reveals some unknown romantic feelings that she had, I'm not really sure how to respond, because I'm not attracted to small colorful horses. However, as determined as she is, Rainbow, and for some reason all of Ponyville, won't take "No" for an answer. They devise to bring back an old tradition to settle the romantic matter.
Warning: Strong Language like shit and fuck but that's bout it.
Also, the Romance tag seems to be one sided in this story so just be aware.
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Well, that escalated quickly. ..,
And if I'm hearing what twilight is saying correctly, she's basically saying that for the good of equestria, James has to be rainbow's colt friend? Granted I could see why the ponies were pissed, James may have just basically fucked up their lives for a good while.
Still, thought the ones who were preachin friendship all this time would at least try to understand his side of the story *shrugs * oh well. By the way.., I noticed that the only citizens he saw were ponies that were mad with him. I don't suppose there may be one last friend in equestria who isn't a pony that'd be willing to help?
Hmmmm... I like it.
Reminds me a bit of "Get Him" but this time they stakes are a bit different.
Come on James!! Show them some human tenacity!
Damn..... this is one of those remindful moments that you do 'NOT', and I repeat 'NOT', reject someone's feelings towards you out loud in front of a whole crowd cause that could lead to big consequences.
I'm going to go ahead and favorite this because... I need to either see this play out well, or get more fodder for me to b*itch about.
(I guess you could say I'm not happy with the ponies' reactions)
((But BTW, good writing person ))
Interesting. Want to see how this plays out. Twilight is being a total bitch and I want to see James put the smack down on the ponies now. Threaten the humans free will, oh you are going to pay for that one. Interestingly, from the show mind control does not appear to have a huge stigma to it (reformation spells, Starlight Glimmer, etc...) so this is almost in character for Twilight.
Or if he loses he needs to turn it around on Dash, be super clingy and generally just mess with her once she thinks she has won. Make the having not as good as the wanting.
I hope James sues Twilight to forcing a relationship upon him, as well as writing letters to Ceelestia and Luna explaining the whole situation and how Twilight and the others are behaving unfairly (and having Celestia, in turn, come down hard on her student for her cruelty this chapter). This is one HIE fic where I don't side the ponies, who are in the wrong for trying to force love that doesn't exist
7874321
Ponies don't seem to put a lot of thought into the freewill of other sapient beings if they are not ponies (e.g., Spike, Iron Will, the sheep).
7874328 Even so, I hope James goes for it. And, if all else fails, that he makes it clear to Rainbow and her friends that he's only going through with the relationship out of force, and that he makes it as uncomfortable and detestable for her as possible, so that she'll back off, if not break ofg the engagement, and at the very least have the her and the rest of the Mane 6 get some comeuppance through whatever acts of revolt he can get through.
It sucks that Rainbow was feeling and feels, or will feel, bad. But she and her friends need to realize that the other party has their right to refuse.
I wonder how that will turn out...
I can't wait to see what happens next! This is far more interesting than I ever imagined... Also, James will either go to Yakyakistan OR... Convince Princess Celestia to send him to the moon!
*Spinning up FTL drives*
But seriously, I will be impressed if he managed to win but pissed if Twi is gonna be a dick and say "Best out of (Insert#)". After that, he might as well just leave, Equestria will hunt him down but unable to across foreign borders, the countries he might cross could even use the permission to cross and pursue to tip the balance in old or new treaties/deals, then they too join the race as he leaves their lands thus making their deals null and void. It would then turn into a twisted tale of a powerful country's threatened national defense and the price they are willing to pay to retain it, even at the cost of nearly crippling themselves financially and politically for generations to come, while other countries take this chance to rip a piece off Equestria. Even Celestia will be hard pressed to find him before it reaches the point that saving the land and the loss of influence and money could mutually end her kingdom.
Oh the levels of bullshit that could spawn from that.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm laughing because this is a funny situation, but I'm also really god damn angry that Twilight would either mind control him or force this event on him. Whatever the outcome at the end is, I sure as hell hope she gets some serious comeuppance.
Maybe she gets her magic blocked temporarily and then she has to try and outrun a pack of diamond dogs that lover her or something
Wow, okay, this is fucked up.
7874341
Evil idea incoming: James knows they out power him, but he should be familiar with non-violent protest. As it appears in this story that it is a mare dominant society he needs to bring the stallions and other disaffected males or sapients together for a no work/sitdown/etc....
It is within the ability of the character as it doesn't require any special powers, he can do it after he loses, it would even be canon compatible, and fit within the message of harmony of their society if he plays it right. To quote Optimus Prime “Freedom is the right of all sentient [sic; sapient] beings.”
It is a hard form of conflict resolution to write though.
7877790 Nah, doesn't even need to go there, the story is done when he gets mind raped, cause he'll win after that. Rainbow might not even know about the mind control route because despite all of this, she's a purest down to the core, everything she does must ultimately be done by her own efforts. We know mind control there isn't perfect, the inconsistencies and degenerating response time of prolonged influence will make it blatantly obvious that he isn't himself and that will cause far greater damage than the MC's rejection. To Rainbow, it would mean she couldn't win his heart on her own and that her friend cheated to "help" her, that level of betrayal will spoil her victory and trust, leading to another painful choice of releasing the man she loves or keeping him that way despite how wrong it is.
That's why it'll just snowball to this weird direction, everyone is not in the know and Twi is risking everything on this gamble to threaten the MC to move the story. He doesn't actually need to comply but he doesn't know that, he just thinks Rainbow might even be aware.
Author, you asked for feedback, but I'm not sure what to tell you. I'd assume you were going somewhere with this. That Twilight is bluffing, that Rainbow has no idea what he's being forced into, or some similar twist, and that no one's actually about to force him into a relationship against his will under threat of mind control. I can appreciate a pony, usually Twilight, being a huge bitch. I can also appreciate the need for conflict, threat, ect. Setting up the stakes, and a sort of villain.
But then I read your authors statement, and I'm not so sure I know where this is going at all. Because it kind of sounds like you didn't expect people to be so repulsed by this, and that concerns me a great deal.
I mean, just to clarify, are you actually aware of how disturbing this premise is? Are you actually about to tell us the story of a twisted society of ponies who are actually totally ok with this shit?
If so, fine. That's your prerogative. Write whatever you please. But if that's really the story you're about to tell, it needs a dark tag. Badly.
7879099 Thank you for the feedback! I knew that it was definitely a dark premise, so I'm not very surprised that people were repulsed by it (I actually kind of expected it). But I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something that didn't involve the content of the story, such as pacing or grammatical issues. I'll be sure to add a "dark" tag for sure though. Thank you once again!
Dang, it sure looks interesting!
James kind of overreacted, but Dash was by far worse. Also... Regarding the horn way...(pun intended) I don't think Celestia or even Cadence would approve it. Although this seems to be a darker Equestria.
Looking forward for more.
7880896
could be a very dark bluff. the human doesnt know about magic and twilight could know this and is utilizing this to her ultimate benefit
7880896 Nah, James didn't overreact in the slightest. He already tried telling her in a polite manner that he wasn't interested in her but she was trapped in denial. Sometimes the only way is to be as blunt as possible about where things stand and Rainbow Dash is one of those people who need said bluntness. Honestly, I'm shocked words even managed to penetrate her head, for how short they did. She's just not the kind to listen to folks when it comes to something she wants. She'll hear them speak but she'll hear whatever it is she wants to and she's been like that for a very long time.
Hey!! Is his plan of escape simply not to write anymore?
7946573 Most effective maneuver ever
derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/23/191624/full.png 7951627
7951695 She can't catch him if the universe froze
ci.memecdn.com/9604076.jpg 7951731
7946573 Trust me, I'm not gonna stop writing for this story. I'm just a REALLY slow writer and I am trying to figure out how to end the story without pissing off everyone. Just know that I'm not done with this story
7952437 weeeeelllll oookaaaaay
Best/worst cliffhanger best me wanting to see what happens to James worst cause you just gave me the most painful reading inflicted blue balls ever keep up the good work looking forward to next chapter
OK, my two cents.
I am not really sure how to feel about this. Rather than diffuse the issue through negotiation, the main character routinely resorts to jack-assery. For example, the way that he responds to dashes advances. The way he responds to the main sixes attempts to confront him by shoving past as if they weren't there. The way that he laughs right in Purple Smarts face when she confronts him alone. In some ways he is getting nothing more than what he asked for. So I am having a hard time shedding a tear for this guy.
However, Twilights two options are dark and very much unexpected. It clearly shows a cold regard for stallions in the mare dominated society that is Equestria.
I look forward to more. Kujo to the Author for an interesting story idea.
The Monk
Interesting. I wonder how this plays out.
If I were James, I would've asked Twilight to walk into the kitchen, then pulled a knife out of a drawer or even a gun from my pocket to her throat and then threatened to kill her if she didn't fuck off.
Cancelled?.... Sigh, so disapointing. Too bad, this story had potential. See you never.
8505660
look on the bright side the author gave us free rain to continue his stories
very nice story, it is a pity that it was interrupted but I hope that someday you will finish it and the first chapter you wrote really epic also will be waiting impatiently for the continuation and more similar. Good job