• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 11th, 2012

Tootsie Heartstrings

Comments ( 56 )

Hopefully, just hopefully this won't end the way I think it will.

Cheese Pizza basically sums up what's on my mind right now, but lets elaborate on the current plot you have so far. Being the sick son of a bitch I am, I predict that Tootsie will engage in sexual intercourse with Shady Daze and get caught in the act. Shady Daze's mom/dad will probably relay this news to Lyra and Bon Bon leading to an explanation of the history behind Tootsie's "character". Lyra and Bon Bon become emotionally distraught because of this which might lead to their separation. Alternatively Lyra might just not have the same feelings for Bon Bon, either way the lead to the same result. Some shocking deus ex machina is revealed and then surprisingly everything is fixed, and that's how I believe this story will end. If you would also be so kind please give this a look. Heads up though, this isn't exactly safe for work.

Well, I'll just say this, I'm not saying if you are right or wrong. :derpytongue2:

Not sure if I like this or not. I am interested in finding out what this dark secret is though, so I'll keep reading.

It took me ten minutes to write that, I'm going to need a less ambiguous answer then that.

Damn I wish I had that, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to describe how I kill Fluttershy in the most gruesome of ways until chapter two comes out.

Very interesting, if I may say so myself.

But I'm no expert by any means of the word, but pushing the fact that there is something the audience doesnt know seemed a bit exessive in places.

I do however, cant wait to see if my predictions are correct.

I'm curious to see where this is going, though I fear where it might go... Tracking anyway!

Again, sorry about typos, I'm going to bed, it's way too late. :pinkiecrazy:
Please give me feedback if you can, I'd really appreciate it.

First non author comments.
And lolwut. :facehoof: that was... Interesting.

So...Tootsie is some kind of succubus? :rainbowhuh: Anyway, liked it. Hope you update soon.

I dunno what that even is, so, probably not, any similarities are purely coincidental.

This thing is more popular than I expected, I have to put actual effort into it!

Start a new paragraph when someone different speaks. It makes the story so much easier to read.

RAEP IMMANENT good chapter cant wait for the next when is it?

Nice but had a lack of lurics i found.

I really hope she is not going to do what I think she is... :applejackunsure:

Is she a nymphomaniac?
At her age?
:twilightshrug: Whatever.

A succubus is a (usually female. Males are mostly refered to as incubus) creature that seduces and copulates with innocents.... Usually innocents but as with all things fantasy they can be anything as long as their demonish and have something to do with intimacy.... Technically you could argue that Changelings are a type of Succubus.

do you think she'll do dinky or the CMC?

And thus, my writing gets progressively worse as I remembered I'm terrible at smut, and I forgot where I left off last time. Oh man, I hope this makes sense. :raritydespair:
That pegasus dude is a BG pony by the way, I think, I forget. He's in Hurricane Fluttershy.

I think my problem is I keep thinking I'm writing more, but when I actually publish, it's smaller than what I wrote previously. :/

What did I just read? :facehoof:
That was good rape scene and all, but... Err...
I'll leave you with

That doesn't help nor hinder me. Good job for being totally and utterly not helpful.

Well, sor-ry. I actually think you did a great job in keeping with the idea.
I was thinking, well, it didn't really seem to be rape, it was more like she was just rubbing him inappropriately.
It seemed like there could have been more she could have done to him, such as actually having him inside her, and then when he came he would tell her something like he felt really good and she figured it meant he would cum and then get off him and slurp it and all that.
But, hey, you're the author.

Welp, I suppose I see what you mean. I guess I shouldn't write at 3 AM.

I shouldn't write at all. Never read my stories because you'll have to bleach your eyeballs. X3
I'm just good at supplying ideas.

875211 good job this is the first fic i've read were tootsie flute is an important character again good job:scootangel:

I am not dead, yet.
More to come soon. If I remember, or if people care.

I will read it if you write it

Oh god I ruined it, right, right? That last chapter just had to have messed it all up.... Sigh, I'm sorry... Really sorry... :raritycry:

coincidentily the same orphanage Derpy Hooves adopted her older daughter Sparkler at

Just how many orphanages does Ponyville have that two people going to the same one can be considered a coincidence?

good chapter cant wait for the next

I'm also interested in your story, so please keep writing it. :ajsmug::rainbowkiss:

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