broken

by Meta Knight

Chapter 1

Sometimes things that are broken can never be fixed again.

Such a weird thought, and yet, that's the one that swirling in my head right now as I sit on my couch in my little cottage. And I wonder how it got to this point. When did the bond between me and my family deteriorate so much.

I'm not sure I have the answer. I wish I did, all I know is that things may never be able to be fixed. I wish I was a unicorn. I could use magic to just be able to fix all my problems. They seem to be able to do that. Or maybe, a Pegasus, they always seem very happy.

I'm just a simple Earth Pony, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm proud of my Pony Heritage. I'm proud to be me but I can't help but wonder... if I had been born a Unicorn or a Pegasus how things might have turned out

I find it funny, really. You would think, Hearth's Warming is supposed to be a day of love, peace, and family. It certainly started out like that, but it sure didn't end like it.

I'm honestly surprised we didn't attract the attention of the Windigos because of our actions. It all started after we all had finished eating, we were still gathered at my aunt's house we were sitting around talking.

I decided to suggest playing Monopoly Canterlot Edition. At first, everything was fine we are all laughing and having fun. My cousin started to get more and more intense as things went on. We didn't take it seriously, at first, because we thought he was just being competitive. It reached a fever pitch when my cousin and I landed on the Jail Space Square.

We were exchanging the kind of banter a family does when playing a board game like this. I admit, I probably crossed a verbal line when I uttered a phrase with no malice intended - "well, I guess you know how it feels like to be in here after not paying those bits for child support".

I will admit I was in the wrong for saying that. I am not saying I was not. I myself, landed in jail, for defending myself against my clearly insane father. I can understand my cousin's situation. I thought I was just making light of it, especially since it happened years ago. However, what happened next shocked me and every Pony at the table.

As quick as a Unicorn's teleportation, my cousin was at my side, my hair in his mouth, and forcing my head down on the table. Threatening me, daring me to say something else bad about his children. I did not utter a sound, we were all in total shock.

No Pony saw this coming, and I had no idea what he was talking about. I was not insulting his children and I meant no insult. His children are two beautiful Fillies and one beautiful Colt.

After he released my hair and went back to his seat, I sprang up and threatened to call the Royal Guards. His transactions cause me to realize I will no longer take abuse from anybody, especially family. Not after what I went through with my father.

That's when things became even more hectic. One of my aunts started to cry, his own mother pleaded for me not to call the Guards. His own father-my uncle, a Pony I had held in great respect , said something that hurt me far more than he will probably ever be able to understand - " I knew he hadn't changed he's just as selfish as he has always been he doesn't care about any Pony but himself".

When he said those words, my heart felt like it had crumbled in my chest. I went outside with tears in my eyes, stunned, not believing what happened.

My aunt who owned the house, at this point, was hysterical and came outside herself. I asked her why she was crying; because none it had been aimed at her. She started to yell at me, telling me I should not blame the family for my choices. I had no idea, what in Celestia's name, she was talking about. None of what had happened at her house had anything to do with my choices. When I tried to tell her this, she would not listen she just continued to yell at me exclaiming such things "that was just like your father" and "you don't care about the family", and you are as heartless as your father was". She does not know how much each word she spoke felt like a dagger in my heart.

I have always tried to be nothing like my father. He was a very vile Pony most of my childhood, although, my mother insists he wasn't always this way. That's how I always remember him because that's how he always acted. It hurt me so very much when my aunt accused me of being just like him.

After my aunt stopped was yelling, I stood outside looking at Princess Luna's beautiful stars and moon. My cousin came out, we talked and we were able to make up. We both realize that something in our family had changed that night and we weren't sure if it is ever going to be able to be fixed.

I just had to call a chariot to come pick me up and take me home. At home, I went straight to bed and had nightmares so bad even Princess Luna wasn't able to help me. It is the next day, I sit and wonder how it got to this point. Why do some of them only see my father? When they look at me will I ever truly be able to change their perception of me? Most importantly, in my mind I wonder how my family got so broken.

Author's Note:

sometimes the holidays can hurt

Comments

[TheArquius]

ruh-roh

[Meta Knight]

7821889 thank you for your criticism and and and while I can agree that fimfiction may not be the perfect home for story I like to think that it belongs here just like any other story that is on the site.

[0]

I do not know if it was inspired by actual happenings, but the characters were really nice (lively? relatable?). It reads like the beginning of a long story: I can't sense closure.
Nitpicks:

I uttered a phrase with no malice intended - "well, I guess you know how it feels like to be in here after not paying those bits for child support"

Normally I'd put a comma or a period instead (I have never seen an hyphen used like that). I don't find that quite strange, at least for me, because it is similar to what is done in other languages.

I think the lowercase title and uncapitalized description is intentional?
7821889
I had not noticed, but I agree.

[Meta Knight]

7821919 it was inspired by events that happened to yesterday. And yes the lowercase in both was intentional.

[Meta Knight]

7839012 your welcome and I believe if you can't listen to criticism you won't be able to listen to new ideas and be able to expand your mind and grow as a person

[Mexican Brony 101]

Wow, this story was amazing. I really wish i can put off this much emotion in my writing as well. I admire you Meta Knight.

[Meta Knight]

7843556 thank you for the compliment I enjoy your writing as well

[Cutest Boxer Puppy Ever]

Some errors but I don’t care what an amazing story monopoly is one of my favourite board games that teaches you about money this story inspires me, is their more chapters coming soon? This story it’s just it teaches you about family so I’ll track it I can’t wait to read more of your stories so here have a follow.

[Silver Butcher]

Things Break so fast. but fixing them can take time, only to wait for the next time it breaks.

[EverfreePony]

Interesting story. A rather fast-paced one at that and honestly, I think it might benefit from slowing down a little at times while still keeping the impression of a rambling pony in place. Also, connected to the rambling, there were a few run-on sentences that deserve to be fixed for better flow. Some commas could be added and others removed for the same reason. Furthermore, someone else already pointed out the rather unusual use of hyphens. Should we consider what you have here as direct speech, then indeed a comma or a full stop should be there. However, I have a feeling what you have here is something between direct and reported speech, and also a parenthesis, wherein the hyphens might be used. Still, it should be either a double hyphen (--) or an em dash (—) as these are used to connect two clauses.* A single hyphen should only connect syllables or words, such as in forty-two.

Also, watch out for inconsistencies in capitalization (unicorn/Unicorn) and also consider the purpose of capitalizing generic nouns like Pony or Filly. In my honest opinion, it draws unnecessary attention to these words, thus diverting the reader's focus from the plot.

Still, thank you for this read!

*Double hyphens/em dashes also have a specific use in indicating an abrupt stop in dialogue, and, in case of beats (a type of dialogue tag containing no speaking action) inserted between two parts of speech can be used to emphasize that a character is speaking and simultaneously doing the action.