A Storm of Chaos: A Doctor Whooves Adventure

by Shotoman

In For a Big Ol' Storm

Part 25

In for A Big Ol' Storm

As suddenly as it was there, the menace vanished from Discord's countenance. He was suddenly all smiles and playfulness as he dragged Borusa along in his magic. "I must admit, I was getting a bit cramped in there," he said as he began to stretch out the kinks in his legs and neck. "It's nice to finally get out and stretch. Funny how things work out i'nnit? You had this big elaborate game set up, and victory was just in your grasp, but a simple invisibility spell, some admittedly uncharacteristic patience, and a little outside distraction was all it took to send the whole board tumbling down."

Turning his attention away from the helpless alicorn in his grip, Discord focused on the brown coated pony before him, who was discussing something with the pegasus he came to rescue. "Bravo, Mister Doctor Pony. I must say, you do put on quite a show. I haven't been that entertained in quite some time."

The Doctor cast a seemingly disinterested look Discord's way as the pegasus flew back into the ducts. "Thanks, I think. I do have my moments."

"Oh-ho! Don't sell yourself short, Doctor," Discord gleefully said. "I mean, that whole 'barely controlled righteous anger' bit alone was almost worth the price of admission. And the way you almost got..." Here he stopped, then turned back to Borusa. "You know, I never did actually learn your name. Oh well. Not important." Turning his attention back to the Doctor, he continued, "The way you got this guy here to almost set me free himself? Pure genius. Poetry, really. Though I do wonder at the wisdom of trading him in for me."

"Yes, well," the Doctor said with a shrug, "I do have some little plan in place for you, actually."

Discord chuckled. "I'm sure you do. Can't wait to see it." He turned his attention back to Borusa, his expression remaining cordial, though his eyes almost literally burned with anger. "In the meantime, what are we to do with you? Oh, wait. I know. Ho ho hohoho. This will be fun."

Discrod snapped his talons, and everything went dark. Borusa found himself bound and blinded and unable to do any magic at all. "What is going on here? How are you...? What...?"

"Boo!" a pair of red an yellow eyes appeared right in Borusa's face, causing the captured Time Charger to shriek in a rather embarrassingly high voice. "Oh, did I scare you?" Discord asked, as he straightened up, revealing that he was now wearing a stark white closed up lab coat. Borusa himself was strapped down on an operating table. "Good. See, you've done something that Dearest Celestia and her little menagerie never have. You made me well and truly angry."

"'But Discord,' I hear you say," he continued, casually pulling on elbow length black rubber gloves, "'they've turned you into stone no fewer than twice. Yet you bear them no ill will at all? Impossible.' Okay, I'll admit they've annoyed me a time or three, but see, that's all just part of the game. I'm the embodiment of chaos, disorder, and madness. Celestia, Woona, and their little followers are all about order, harmony, and sanity. One just can't thrive except at the expense of the other. It's one of those, oh how do you say it, Circle of Life... things. I got taken for granite because they played the game better, that's all. Much as I do hate to admit it. So why should I harbor a grudge?"

Discord turned his gaze back to the rather pathetic looking pony before him. "But you? What am I to you? For that matter what are you to me? All I see is a pathetic little has-been who's day in the sun has long since past who poked and prodded me because he feared the inevitable. And let me tell you, nothing ticks me off quite like a coward. Except perhaps a hypocrite. And you, my friend, are both. Well, you're not the only one that can play mad scientist. I mean, I'm as mad as the best of 'em." With that he produced a pair of comically large black goggles, stretched the elastic almost to the breaking point as he pulled it over his head, and let go, causing the goggles to quite loudly smack into his face. "Ow!"

Quickly recovering, Discord turned his full attention on the strapped down and helpless Borusa. "Now zen," he said, affecting an exaggerated phony accent. "Ve must begin viz a full physical examination before ze experimentation shtarts. After all, zis is science!" Discord then produced an X-ray screen that was big enough to provide a full look at Borusa's insides and whistled at what he saw. "Is that two hearts I see?" A malicious grin spread upon his face. "Aw, forget the physical. Experimenting starts now." He snapped his fingers and the left heart on the screen vanished, causing Borusa to wail in agony. With another snap the heart reappeared, and Borusa groaned in relief, only to cry out once again when the other vanished. The pain was short lived, as the heart was returned to its proper place. "Hmmm. Looks like both of 'em are essential. Not very efficient is it? Though I guess if one stops you at least have a fallback for a few minutes, huh?"

Discord caused the screen to vanish as he pulled over a wheeled tray with a number of implements on it. Borusa whimpered. Alongside a few distinctly cartoonish things--such as over-sized tongue depressors and a wooden mallet--were tools that might have looked like medical implements to a particularly sadistic child. Picking up a particularly nasty looking corkscrew tool, Discord grinned. "Let's start with a little poking."

Borusa's screams filled the room.

"Now some prodding."

More screaming.

"Oooh, I don't even know what this one does."

These were the loudest screams yet.

Discord stopped what he was doing for a moment and turned to look at the Doctor, who was watching with an expressionless face. "You know, you are welcome to at least try to stop me you know." The Doctor responded by planting his flank on the ground, making it clear he had no intention to move. "Ooooh. You're cold. I like you."

Discord turned back to his little project, and for several minutes there was an awful lot of screaming. Finally silence descended on the room and with a flourish and a thunk, Discord showed off his work to the other pony. "Well what do you think?" he asked. Borusa had been turned into a statue, reared up on his hind legs, a look of terror on his face. "I don't normally turn ponies to stone, you know. For the same reason I don't like to kill. I mean, after you've done it, what more can you do, right? It's all such a boring finish. But all things considered, I just couldn't resist the... the, uh... is it irony or poetic justice? I can never keep the two straight."

Shrugging the whole thing off, Discord gave the Doctor his full attention. "So, what are we going to do about you, hmmm?"

"What about me?"

Discord chuckled. "Oh, don't be like that. I know you're one of Celestia's little ponies. I'm betting you're here to bring me home."

The Doctor shrugged in return. "You are right on all counts. Except, I'm not one of Celestia's ponies at all. Well, I guess you could say that I am, from a certain point of view, but from the point of view that really matters I'm really not. We just work towards similar goals is all. Except when we don't."

"Either way," Discord interrupted with a chuckle, "you're here to send be back. Preferably in a nice stone box."

"Preferably, yes."
.

"Which leads us back to the question of what we're going to do with you. I could take care of you just as easily as the other guy, you know."

"But you won't," the Doctor responded with a smug grin. "I'm not like Borusa was. For one thing I actually am as clever as I think I am. And for another... well, I'm just here to play the game."

Discord blinked twice then chuckled. "You're turning my own words against me."

"Not that you'd know anything about that."

Discord felt his grin turn into a genuine smile. He really did like this guy for some reason. "All right, then. You've piqued my interest. What do you suggest?"

"A game, of course. Winner take all."

"Oooh. And what sort of game do you have in mind?"

"That's the trick, isn't it? Neither of us can really expect that the other won't cheat, nor can we really expect the other to actually concede their prize at the end, regardless of the outcome."

"Heh. So its a battle of wits then!" Discord crowed, and suddenly the two of them were sitting in a grassy field, a table between them, goblets placed before them, and Discord was dressed in a black swashbuckler's costume.

"Something like that," the Doctor responded drolly as he took his goblet and dumped its contents in the illusory grass. "Simple goals, simple rules. If I turn you back to stone, I win. If you 'corrupt' me or whatever it is you do, you win."

Discord let out a hearty laugh. "I like it. But really, what makes you so sure you even have a chance? The only thing that's ever really beaten me in a direct contest are the Elements of Harmony, and last I checked, you weren't even one of the bearers."

The Doctor nodded. "That is a good question. A very astute, very apt question. I'm just a simple little earth pony after all. No flight, no magic. Just my wits and my screwdriver. I could answer by bringing up all the genocidal madcreatures, power mad conspirators, and, yes, even gods of chaos I've faced and beaten. I could bring up how the most dangerous races in the universe have given me such flattering titles as 'the Oncoming Storm' and 'Destroyer of Worlds.' I could even bring up the fact that the only reason we haven't met before now was that I already know how your story ends. And in bringing that up I'd be remiss if I didn't add that I still managed to be an occasional thorn in your side back in the 'good old days.' Remember the Coffee Pits of Rodrom?"

Discord blinked. "That was you?" he asked, with a rather impressed smile on his face.

The Doctor shrugged. "What can I say? Bananas are good. I could tell you all that, but it all comes down to one thing: I'm the Doctor."

Discord studied his opponent in silence for a moment, before a chuckle escaped his lips. The chuckle grew into a hearty belly laugh that lasted several seconds. "Oh, I do like you. You're literally the most fun to come my way in eons. Fine then. Let the games begin."

And with that, Discord brought up his eagle talon, and snapped his fingers.

Comments

[Djerid]

That speech was very reminicent of the 11th doctor at the pandorica. Except better.

[Rytex]

NEVER GO AGAINST A SICILIAN WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!

Poor Discord, it's over and it hasn't even started yet.

[_CheckMate_]

3201248 no its not, Because the Doctor already knows that Discord is going to go to Fluttershy's Villain Reformatory

[Rytex]

3201265

The Doctor thinks like me and knows that the very idea of that happening is positively INCONCEIVABLE!

[Shotoman]

3201275
Why do you keep using that word? I don't think it means what you think it means.

[Rytex]

3201284

"Oh, the sot has spoken. What I say is not truly your concern. I will say what I want. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy!"

[Walt2012]

The Coffee Pits of Rodrom.

There's a story there, methinks.

[CementTheBlock]

Discord stopped what he was doing for a moment and turned to look at the Doctor, who was watching with an expressionless face. "You know, you are welcome to at least try to stop me you know." The Doctor responded by planting his flank on the ground, making it clear he had no intention to move. "Ooooh. You're cold. I like you."

Chills went down my spine. This alone solidified this Doctor as THE Doctor. Reminded me almost exactly of how Tenant could portray him, hitting you with an "I'm So Sorry" look, then a "You Brought This On Yourself" look, then back to "I'm So Sorry," all in the same scene. Good job.

[SIGAWESOME]

3201288
And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Manehatten?

[Rytex]

3201473

I! AM WAITING! FOR VIZZINI!!!

[Shotoman]

3201538
Vizzini, he likes to fuss.
I think he likes to scream at us.
He probably means us no harm.
He's just very short on charm.
You have a marvelous gift for rhyme.
Yes, yes. Some of the time.
Fezzink! Are there rocks ahead?
If there are, we all be dead!

[MrAskAPirate]

Bananas are good.

...and did you just bust out 'Mordor' backwards?

[Shotoman]

3201883
Yes. Yes I did.

[_CheckMate_]

3201592 If only we had a wheel-barrel...

[Walt2012]

3201929
How about a Plague Cloak?

[mercenaryx]

I like you people/ponies. You all are crazy. Anyways, will the Doctor trick Discord into getting a glimps of the Time War? Something like that would be bad, plus the Doctor alrady broke the Promise once, I really hope he won't let it happen because of Discord and that thing he does with ponies. If anything getting the tiniest hint of the time war might make the whole of taurtarus look like paradise.

[Reader Wolf]

How did Discord take care of Borusa?

[book_burner]

So basically, the Q fights the Doctor... with ponies.

[Shotoman]

3204649
Want me to add some zombie robot pirate ninjas for good measure?

[book_burner]

3206123
No, I'm good. I am sooo good.

[Shotoman]

3204649
You know, this one sentence has planted a little seed in my head for a Doctor Who/Star Trek TNG crossover--a hopefully better one than the IDW comic miniseries. I see Q. I see the Black Guardian. I see Doctor 11 and the Ponds. Don't if this seed's gonna sprout into anything, but the idea is there...

[Puzzle Reader]

I loved how Discord was having his fun, then he turned back to the Doctor and said Aren't you going to do something, and the Doctor was all like Nope. It was hilarious.
I also really loved your interpretation of the relationship between Discord and Celestia (and Luna and the others). It meshes nicely with my headcanon that he doesn't normally hold grudges; there are just ponies that annoy him at the moment, and those who are fun to play around with.

[mercenaryx]

3221826

The IDW crossover mini series was gold, it was very good. And a whole lot better then the X-men/startrek crossovers. Which I might add are cannon to both universes. Those events are offical now. Or was before any reboots.

[Shotoman]

3223716
Oh, don't get me wrong. I love the IDW crossover. The Fourth Doctor/classic series chapter in particular made me squee. The only problem is that... it's just a crossover. It hits all the necessary points to be a crossover story, but doesn't really take it any further. You are right about it being leagues above the X-Men/TNG stuff. But... well you should read the JLA/Avengers crossover from a few years ago. It also hits all the necessary points, but also delves into an amazing in-universe study on the differences between Marvel and DC's universes and validates both in the end. That is possibly the greatest crossover story in the history of the medium.

[BlueNinja]

3201883>>3201888 And naturally, he didn't just walk in, right?

[Vivo Allegro]

3221826 Do you by any chance see Cybermen upgrading the Borg which also try to assimilate the Cybermen until both species are so rammed full of technology that they become giant balls of metal?
(that or the more literal translation of Deus Ex Machina...)

[Snowstreak]

...the Coffee Pits of Rodrom...

One does not simply drink coffee in Rodrom.

I C wat U did thar.

[MisterSpiffy]

I don't know if you quite have Discord down pat. I can't quite hear him in DeLancey's voice. The Doctor on the other hand, still well done.