• Member Since 12th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Sep 7th, 2019

Pencil Melody


Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. I Timothy 4:12

E

Merry Christmas, CoffeeMinion!

The quirky Cherry Lattice is a baker in Maretropolis who loves her job, and more than eating the masterpieces she bakes, she loves to share her goodies with others to brighten their lives. But that’s her day job. At night, she’s known as Fili-Second, the speedy mare who cleans up the crime in the streets in record time.

As her belief stands that nopony should have an unhappy Hearth’s Warming, she decides to pay a special visit to a certain somepony to make his or her holiday a merry one.

(NOTE) I realize that the official comics have a different canon concerning the Power Ponies; but for story purposes, I will be ignoring the comic canon, for the most part.

Cover art by me. Expertly edited by my good friend Test4Echo. Wonderful dialogue help from Diamond_ Emblem.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 18 )

I suppose I'll be the first to leave a comment, and say that you did a great job, Mels (not that I'm biased or anything :scootangel:).

Echo

Actually I don't think the comics ever mentioned the origins of the Power Ponies.

7821658 They did have their actual colors that weren't the M6.

7821658
Well, they might not in the comics, but I think they do in the cards. I guess I didn't mention that specifically. Here's the source I used for detailing the characters.
One of the references I made was Marey Allen, who is the canon identity of Fili-Second.

Dang, this story made me really hungry from all the references to tasty treats. Cherry was a cool character. The humor was enjoyable with the puns being the cherry on the top. The language used created quite a detailed story. The multiple story segments was an efficient way to tell the story; this causes the story to come across as jumpy because of the rapid transitions. "Survivors will be shot again" :twilightsheepish: That was my favorite line. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... That was my stomach growling :twilightblush:

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7904156

Muahaha! Teh peeples shall be made hungry! :pinkiecrazy:
Lol, anyway. Yes, I did my best to make all the comparisons, metaphors, and references be sugar-filled.

:twilightsmile: Thanks so much for the complimentary review! As bad as I am at leaving profound critiques on other stories, I always prefer those type of comments. Can you tell me something bad about my story that needs worked on, please? Lol, can you actually believe someone would ask that? Of course, I am being serious.

Oh yes, you have no idea how often I see that on doors. :rainbowlaugh: It's my favorite door sticker ever. As the writer, I have my own favorite scene/lines.

“Oh thank Celestia!” He snatched the bag from her hoof and tore into it, cackling maniacally.

She backed away from the now rabid Nutmeg who was happily committing dessert genocide, and returned to Manual at the taxi carriage. “Manny, get me out of here now!” Cherry said, her voice laden with urgency.

Manual, having been witness to the entire scene, burst into laughter, a sucker stick hanging out the the corner of his mouth. “Actually, I wanted to stay a bit longer and see how Nutm—.”

She yanked the sucker out of his mouth and chucked it into the street. “Nooo!” Cherry boarded the carriage without a word.

Solemnly, he stared at the desolate white stick lying in the dirty street. “Well, you didn’t have to go and do that. . .”

Nuu, you can't go hungry! Quick! grab a donut!

~Melly~

I didn't realize this was on FimFiction until relatively recently! Thank you again for writing it. Fun and sweet lil' story. :pinkiesmile:

8191754
XD, you're welcome, lol. :twilightsmile: And it's totally fine. I probably should have given a link to it on your page when it had gotten approved. I don't really know how to work dA's publishing setup. Format? What is that even?
You're welcome! :pinkiehappy: It was really fun to write. (lol, I actually stayed up all night to finish it so that I could publish it Christmas morning. Of course, it didn't get improved til the evening of the next day, but whatever.)
~Melly~

I reallyyyyyyy missed a lot on my time off.
But nonetheless! This is an awesome story :yay:
I hope you plan on writing new stories because I'd enjoy to read more from you

8286289
Sure must have, XD.
Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it so well! Did you have a favorite part?
Well, then, you shall then be happy to hear that I'm co-authoring a story currently. I'm not sure when it will be out, but it would be helpful to read the prequel, The Royal Gamer first (which it's one of my fave stories, so I definitely recommend it). Lel, I'm writing a fanfiction of a fanfiction.
~Melly~

Short, sweet and truly heartwarming read :twilightsmile: You do well on painting the atmosphere as well as writing realistic characters!

So many spots that gave me a smile or downright sent me laughing on the floor, just like the warning sign. Also, I like the irony behind the detective's house being far less decorated than that of a criminal.

The only thing I'd point out is that if one doesn't read the description, it might not be be clear who is Cherry's alter ego. Maybe it would be worth mentioning earlier. Other than that, really good job.
Thank you for this story!:pinkiehappy:
-Ever

Finally got around to reading this, and I love it. Not only are you an artist with the pencil, but also the pen. Good work. :twilightsmile:

I really liked the story and I enjoyed the world building. :pinkiesmile:

All of the names had been checked off her list except for one. “Okay, Manny, last one. 152 Breyer Drive.”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

She rolled her crystalline eyes. “So, how’s college going?”

He hesitated before finally speaking up. “Well, not too bad. It’s—”

I'm still sometimes try to figure out which universe you made ther with alicorns but in the power ponie universe and stuff like that.

It was nice, but I'm dissapointed the Maneiac part came so late and was rather tiny.
However i enjoyed that part

8862585
What do you mean by alicorns? I know I referenced them in one part, but not in the one you quoted.
Still. Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And lol, yes, I'll agree that the last part was pretty short. I wrote most of this story overnight and in a hurry.
Thanks for the fave!
:twilightsmile:
~Melly~

8865002

What do you mean by alicorns? I know I referenced them in one part, but not in the one you quoted.

I think I thought about them when someone said majesty.

Do you think you would care to write something bigger about Mane-iac or how she is written?
I'm searching for stories with her at the moment. Not many Power pony stories where done right and to be honest I don't care to much for the action parts or stories that go from one boss fight to another one, you know like an endless war or an endless suffering for their main chars.

Hoever I'm not sure if I'm more interessted in seeing Mane-iac getting better or something with more random/comedy elements.

This needs to be a favorite, aside from it being hysterical ... any use of the phrase "mustache you a question" must be favorited. Is that a word?? It is now!

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