A Capital Idea, Princess - Part 3
The room shivered in her presence. A vortex of spite and malice that soured every changeling's tongue. Her icy blue eyes were as sharp as needles, and her bared fangs were just as much. When she spoke, a touch of frostbite caressed every shell.
"What have we here?" With an insult behind her every eye movement, the alicorn sized up the creature before her. "Just who, namely what, might you be?"
An unpleasant respite followed, ended by a sharp, escalating series of laughs. Irises of sickly green stared back proudly.
"Someone without an invitation to the local costume fair, apparently. Did you dress up just for little old me?"
The alicorn ignited her horn. Rigid black with a deep blue aura, it pierced the air with a commanding presence.
"Very well. We'll skip the pleasantries. I am Equestria's ruler, and I know what you are changeling," she hissed. "You should know that vermin are not allowed in my kingdom. Take your hordes and leave, or I shall dismantle you all where you stand."
Yards away, a half-dozen drones watched the thrilling altercation as it unfolded. They huddled together as one mass of large, transfixed eyes. On one side, pitch-black darkness framed the dark alicorn of pony legend, Nightmare Moon. On the other side, the fireplace illuminated the changeling tyrant, Chrysalis; her lithe, charcoal figure seeming to glow from the flames.
"Oh my, pretty and pompous," Chrysalis jeered. Her own horn sparked to life with a vibrant green aura. "All you princess types are the same, regardless of your allegiances. And here I thought I might come to offer an alliance of sorts. One driven queen to another."
Nightmare Moon scoffed. A zap of her magic struck the stone floor, singing it. "'An alliance'? How foalish do you take me to be, witch? You are parasites, abominations of nature. Any relationship with your kind is a detrimental one. Besides, as a true ruler, I do not need anyone's assistance. I will bring glory to the eternal night and rule Equestria myself, and I will do so without your kind in it."
Now it was Chrysalis's turn to scoff. "Oh well, have it your way. The fewer rulers there are to overthrow, the sooner the kingdom will be mine." Her magic now began to rake and scar the floor with aimless charred lines. "I really must thank you, Your Highness. One arrogant alicorn is so much easier to dispose of than two!"
The weight of magic and intention in the air came to a point, and both menacing bodies charged forward. In a decisive moment, horns collided at their hilt, sending sparks and streams of electric energy spiraling all around. Collected anger met undiluted madness.
"Yeah, get her, Nightmare Moon!" cried an enthused onlooker.
"Eternal night sounds way better than starving all the time!" another cheered. "We live in a hive, anyway, so we don't even see the sun that much!"
In a sudden moment of distraction, Chrysalis's gaze turned towards the audience, her output of ferocious magic dwindling to nothing.
"Hang on, you guys aren't even rooting for me?" she asked, her voice noticeably altered and lacking its former confidence. "You were all begging me to do this with Princess Luna just a few minutes ago."
"Uh, yeah, because we wanted to see Nightmare Moon blast the stuffing out of Chrysalis!" Xenica proclaimed. "Did you not hear how awesome Luna made her sound? And how she looks and acts even more awesome!?"
"Well, thank you all," Nightmare Moon chuckled, placing a hoof to her chest and bowing. "I'm not the greatest actress, but I like to think I can play myself fairly well."
Chrysalis slumped dejectedly, her ratty mane obscuring her face. "Well, what about my acting? I was doing pretty well, right?"
"Of course, Thorax, we hated you!" said Cimex. He fluttered up to the evil queen and patted her head. Chrysalis looked at him with despondence.
"What he means is, you were a great villain, Thorax," Apidae encouraged, flying to the queen's other side. "A hero is a hero, but everybody loves to hate a good villain."
"Yeah, Thorax. All the time you spend in the theatre troupe with Apidae and I is paying off," said Calor. He trotted over and hugged a hole-filled leg. "Remember when you couldn't even play a rock correctly? And how the show had to be put on hold because Pharynx couldn't stop laughing, and changelings were afraid he'd choke? He definitely wouldn't be laughing now!"
"Thank you, Calor, for reminding me of that," Chrysalis muttered. She enveloped herself in a flashy teal fire, and the colorful form of Thorax took her place.
Walking up from behind, Nightmare Moon's features faded in a silhouette of white light, giving way to Luna's more petite form. She pulled a pair of novelty vampire teeth from her mouth and gave Thorax a sweet look.
"I must say, Thorax, I have never had the opportunity to face the she-demon one-on-one, but through you, I've found an experience that even my dreams could not muster. Changelings truly are fascinating. My mind knew better, but the adrenaline coursing through me did not. That was a splendid performance."
By now, the rest of the drones crowded around Thorax to cheer him up, and Thorax gave them all friendly smiles.
"Thanks, princess. I do think I've gotten better at it. My brother believes that all changelings have an innate talent for acting, and that talent just needs to be developed. I'm probably the best example of that he's got now."
"I do need to make a point of meeting this fabled brother of yours," Luna mused. She used her magic to command the torches to light. Next, the doors were wrapped in her aura and flew open, flooding the chamber with the bright afternoon. A few changelings hissed.
"But for the moment, it's about time we check in with Celestia. The museum opening draws near. I've taken some time, perhaps selfishly, to get to know you all a bit better, but truth be told, I'd expected an interruption at the hooves of my sister or our returning lieutenant by now. Evidently, I am still the only one who knows where you are, and so it is up to me to deliver you all to the next step of your visit."
"Oh, before we do, can we go back to the gardens, Thorax?"
Eyes turned to Cimex, sitting by the now extinguished fireplace with a hopeful grin.
"There's something I gotta do before we go to the pony museum!"
"You should know better than to believe everything will go well, Celestia. You've been at this for how many centuries now?"
Celestia curled her lip and rolled her eyes. Flying alone above Canterlot, she had only her own ear to vent to, but it would suffice. Unlike other ponies, the clouds would not tell Luna of her returning foalhood habit, and that was all that really mattered.
She looked down at the miniature world below, and a sigh became a self-reflective hum. Part of her drew remorse, with the guilt-ridden face of her lieutenant returning to her mind. But then she remembered Thorax and his easily influenced changelings, and her stiff upper lip resumed.
No, there was no time for her maternal tendencies. She had guests to welcome and to help feel at home. No excuses.
"Of course, you forgot to ask the lieutenant how long he'd been searching, already. With any luck, Luna's made headway of her own in the meantime."
Equestria's heart, and its magnificent golden trim towers, drew closer, and so Celestia descended from the cloud cover. Her thoughts buzzed, a static that pulled and pushed her attention in an array of directions. The changelings were bad enough, but Twilight as well? What in Equestria had the power to keep even her former star pupil from sending a scroll of potential tardiness? Should she be concerned?
She bit her lip again. Nonsense, she was already concerned. The real question was of what. Twilight's safety? The ramifications of whatever could be holding her up? Both? She'd dispatched the lieutenant to send his very best pegasi to check up with Twilight in Ponyville. Surely that would be more than enough.
Right? Right.
"I'm sure everything is fine." The lush castle gardens scrolled below her now, quiet and pristine in a preserved perfection. The greenery never failed to tug a smile from Celestia’s cheeks.
"I'll aid Luna in locating the changelings, and we'll grant Thorax a relaxing museum visit. Should Twilight require us in any way, I'll see to her while Luna stays with Thorax. I certainly don't mind giving her a little more time to spend with the changelings, if need be."
Her tirade of optimism was abruptly cut short. As she touched down on the rear balcony of Luna's bed chambers, a familiar laugh caught her ear from the direction in which she’d just come.
"Honestly, Cimex, do you really need to say goodbye to the fountain? And do you need to do it right now? We could’ve just stopped by before returning to the hive later on."
"But we're already right here, Thorax. What if we forget? I wanna do it now, so I know it gets done!"
"I think it's rather adorable," said a familiar voice. "About as adorable as these plush forms of yourselves. Quite a sneaky way of getting free rides and hugs from ponies, I must admit. I cannot wait to show Celestia. She melts in the presence of stuffed animals."
"You can thank Calor for that," said Thorax. "He loves stuffed animals, too. He brought some back to the hive once, and they were a huge hit. Although, nowadays, most changelings don't even make or buy them. They just take turns being plushies for each other. I think it's innocent fun, but Pharynx says it's nightmare-inducing."
"All hail our fluffy overlords!"
Celestia took to the air again and scanned the garden’s expanse. There, sticking out like a sore hoof, was her deep blue sister, accompanied by a small pack of changelings. Thorax walked alongside Luna, the two seeming to chaperone the group through the gardens. One drone eagerly flew towards the water-spouting vase of the Aquarius Unicorn memorial. Upon reaching it, he lapped at the water stream for a few moments, and then tenderly embraced the statue's leg.
Her gaze shifted, and Celestia gasped so loudly and so shrill that colorful eyes turned towards her.
Set upon Luna's back were a pair of changeling-sized plushies, their hooves curled around her barrel in an anchoring hug. Before Celestia's eyes, one of them returned to their live form in a flash of magic, repositioned themselves to something more comfortable, and resumed their plushie form. Their big, adorable eyes and smiles seemed even bigger when built from string and fluff.
The group's voices reached out to her, but they did not breach Celestia's thoughts. Fluffy, huggable bugs had long since claimed her heart. Her eyes twinkled.
She took it all back. There would be no further sharing of changelings. Twilight would have to fend for herself.
"Do you think she'll be here?"
"I hope so. Don't think either of the princesses can handle any more bad news today."
"It's the lieutenant's flank on the line, not yours. I wouldn't worry too much."
"Reprimands have a trickle-down effect. You know that. Everypony's flank is going to get cooked in this fire."
"She's gotta be at her school, no two ways about it. You checked the castle yourself-"
A racket, faint but powerful, rippled in their ears. The two guard pegasi wheeled about.
"-in Tartarus is that?"
"Singing, I think."
"Singing?"
"It's Ponyville. Random singing seems to be pretty common if our squad reports are anything to go by."
"Excellent point. Lead the way."
They flew past the outskirts of Ponyville, rounding its limits until a visible commotion could be matched to the tsunami of sound. It was at the School of Friendship that something inexplicable was underway. The spirit of chaos, Discord, seemed to be at war with Princess Twilight.
Brilliant flares of fuchsia magic sheared the air in bursts, targeting an obscure pile of picnic decor and schoolyard items. Before they could reach their mark, each of them was dispelled, slashed in half by an elongated glowstick wielded by the draconequus before turning into harmless confetti. He snapped and cracked his staff, and it became a vivid amethyst.
Just beyond the duel was a grandiose stage, lined top to bottom with a full choir. They graced the clearing with a tune of power and lament, following their conductor's decisive tempo. Said conductor was another Discord.
"Discord! The event is over!" Twilight yelled, the depths of her annoyance muffled by the sheer volume of the choir. "If you refuse to put things back the way they're supposed to be, then I will instead! And, for Celestia's sake, what’s with the choir!?"
"The oppression of the fun police shall never return," Discord said cooly, bringing down another blow of incoming magic. "You stooped so low as to tattle on me to Fluttershy, Twilight. Now I'm sure to get a scolding later this week, and for what? A few benches, banners, and a statue? You simply couldn't allow me to have my fun, could you?"
"Don't turn this on me! You could’ve chosen to play cards with us, to chat and laugh with us!" Twilight continued to fire, despite Discord’s unyielding defense. "But no! Instead you chose to rudely take all of the decorations in a selfish stunt to show off. You don't think Fluttershy will have something to say about that?"
From the sidelines, the guards came to a landing. They exchanged dumbfounded glances and slack jaws, uncertain of what to do with themselves before the symphony of chaos.
"Let me guess: you two are here to check up on Twilight."
The pair turned to find a lavender mare approaching them. It wasn’t the mare they sought, but her mane was equally unmistakable.
"Oh, hello, Esteemed Pupil Starlight Glimmer," the first guard greeted. "Yes, we're here on behalf of Princess Celestia, who requested we be sent to locate Princess Twilight. She never appeared for her rendezvous with King Thorax in the capital today. It...sort of evolved into a whole thing."
"Things seem to be evolving into 'whole things' all over Equestria, today," the second said.
An entirely new platform flashed into existence next to the choir, this time staffed with wind and string instruments.
"I told her it wasn't worth it, but here we are," Starlight monotoned. "I guess she's just gonna relearn the hard way how Discord behaves when he's feeling patronized."
"A common occurrence, I take it?"
"You have no idea. Twilight has dealt with Discord more than me, but I'm probably the most recent example of invoking his...'wrath', I guess? But the funny part is she even referenced the time I belittled his behaviors today, and she still let him get the better of her."
"He's done this exact thing before?"
"Sort of. Involved a lot of poor decisions, a scavenger hunt, and a replacement running track. Long story short, it was inevitable, like I'm sure this will be."
"Really now, this behavior is most unbecoming of a headmare, Twilight!" Discord bellowed, carelessly tossing his glowstick into the air, where it split into two. He caught each one in a paw/claw in the midst of a pirouette. "One might even call it uncivilized!"
"If you would just clean up your mess, we could all go back to being civilized!" Twilight’s form whisked into a blur. She assaulted the throne from the rear, only to have Discord's hand stretch and twist to deflect the attempt. "And I could go on with my day, helping Thorax with his visit to Canterlot!"
The battle continued. Starlight and the guards wore brave faces before the madness.
"Gotta admit, this brings back memories," Guard One said suddenly. "I was doing patrol work when the last Chaos Plague happened. The whole countryside flipped into some sorta chessboard with trees using themselves as giant pieces in a game."
"I've seen it before, but not up close," Guard Two added. "Ground zero seemed to be Ponyville for that last one, and I was a cadet in Canterlot basic training. Worst we got was cola storms and dancing training equipment."
"I didn't even know about Discord before his reformation," Starlight admitted. The guards snorted at her final word. "This may not be a large-scale disaster, but it's certainly impressive. More impressive than anything I've seen him do so far."
"Isn't it, though? So kind of you to notice. I think it's my greatest composition yet."
Starlight and pals turned to find a tall, thin creature dressed head to toe in an archaic wig and suit, standing where no one had stood just moments before. They glanced back at the ongoing choir, which was now being conducted by a floating, self-aware conductor's wand.
"Such a shame she's grown so hard to rile up, though," Ludwig van Discord sighed. "I mean, just look at this display. I had to resort to some Grade A chaos here. How I mourn for days long past, where resident book horses could be triggered by a gentle prod towards self-doubt or by an open-ended question. Character development is such a fickle thing."
"Seemed pretty effortless from over here," Starlight said insipidly. She stepped before the draconequus, eyeing him skeptically. "What's your endgame here, Discord? There's no reward for you this time. Are you...are you trying to delay Twilight on purpose? You're not deliberately trying to sabotage Thorax's visit, are you?"
Discord twiddled his paws and claws behind his back, smugly watching Twilight engaging his doppelganger.
"Au contraire, mon petit poney. Our good boy Thorax is a big changeling now. He doesn’t need escorts to political tea parties and the like, anymore."
Starlight scowled. "So you are delaying Twilight on purpose, then. I bet you don't even care about this throne you're defending."
A halo appeared above Discord’s head. "In a word, I am, once again, providing Thorax an opportunity to grow. That is what good friends do, no? That is what the princesses are after, is it not? To fill our dear bugmoose with courage? I'm simply helping the development along, and giving Professor Friendship her daily exercise to boot."
Starlight put her hoof to her face in an attempt to curb her onsetting headache. From over its curve, she found lavishly decorated memorabilia now adorning the draconequus, most notably a brown foam hand reading 'Chaos for Classes! Discord for Headmare!'. Before Starlight could form words, Discord spoke with bubbly investment.
"Besides, Starlight, there's still so much bonding to be done between Thorax and the Humdrum Sisters. We can't have Twilight getting in the way; perish the thought! Every princess is to her time, my dear."
You like Krabby Patties stuffed animals, don't you, Celestia.
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The beginning of that chapter took me by surprise but it was so cool! And plushie changelings...eee! *passes out from cuart attack* The end was rather thoughtful of Discord, deliberately delaying Twilight so Thorax and the changelings can have their alone time with Tia and Lulu. I can't wait to see what happens next chapter!
This a play or something or did I MISS something?
Called it.
I mean, Xenica's got you there.
Also true.
She, has a point. No plan survives first contact and all that.
All hail!
That is diabetes inducingly cute.
Fun times.
And being a pain in the ass at the same time.
Man you're good at writing Discord. I love this version you write!
aww the plushies!
me wants!
Pretty sure there was also a gigantic laser to the face, but I guess that went under poor decisions.
10366265
No no no, that one is filed under “replacement running track.”
10366112
I don't think Celestia's going to give up her plushy cuddlebugs to Luna, Twilight or even Thorax now... heh.
10366304
Definitely not. But Luna might have already called dibs.
I have to assume the choir discords are playing Duel of the Fates.
10366434
I doubt it. That would actually be an appropriate choice and would make sense. This is Discord we're talking about, after all.
Hnnnng, loved this chapter!
The NMM v Chrysalis thing was fun, loved when the changelings cheered for Black Snooty XD
Also hnnnnnng again, I totally know how Plushlestia feels, it sounds so adorable!
...also also, I totally forgot discord was the reason Twilight was MIA, glad to see how this is turning out lol
I thought Calor had managed to out-cinnamon roll Thorax in the last chapter, but then this happened.
Still the cutest thing in existence.
10366434 Actually, it's more than likely Battle of the Heroes given he and Twi were referencing the start of Anakin and Obi-Wan's duel in the last chapter. Plus, Discord wouldn't be very chaotic if he always did the unexpected, because then you'd expect him to always do the unexpected.
More canon than the Disneywars schlock.
10366112
A cuart attack?
*sees the word “cuart” in the Urban Dictionary*
...
10369612
What? It perfectly describes what happened
10369614
What’s “cuart” anyway?
10369623
Remember? Hero came up with it. "Cuart attack" is "Cute heart attack"
10369627
Oh. Right. ._.
10369631
Yeah...heh...
10369623
About 2 pints. ;)
10371252
Thought so.
Throw Flufflepuff into the pile of plush changelings.
It'll make things... electric.
So that's what my old Plushification Detector has been detecting. I shall have to lower its sensitivity if it's getting readings from that far away.
10380278
Always love to receive positive sibling responses! It's nice to know my imagination makes up for lack of an actual brother.
And they said it couldn't be done. He's only gone and made the Changelings cuter! How is this possible?!
pm1.narvii.com/7142/14b1368e68d5bd66a0a745ccaba78b776e2e55f4r1-661-881v2_hq.jpg
In the beginning I didn't know what was going on but until they said about a play and they are acting lol thats awesome Once again I do like the interaction with Luna and thorax and those changelings are so cute with those dolls 😍 And I feel like discord really is doing that on purpose you're something else buddy lol 😆
As I've said before, Changelings developing a taste for theater is a great idea. Pharnyx's venting about being a soldier in peacetime could be funneled into an incredible Coriolanus.
That's true actually
Jesus Christ, and I thought Calor's side story was enough changeling plushie material. Changelings changing themselves into plushies actually wasn't something I thought of...
And Cimex wanting to say goodbye to the fountain was just adorable. Like everything else.
11032904
*adjusts your bike helmet strap and knee pads*.
Yes, those feels are sure something right now.
But uh, just wear these in case there's anything lingering in upcoming chapters.