99 - Going Home
I heard tense female notes. A peek revealed that Roy was speaking to his wife, who looked unhappy. I turned my ears towards them and it came into clarity.
"Look, I..." She slumped a little before jerking upright. "You know."
"You said we'd restart, do it right after the party."
She waved a hand vaguely around. "What party? Everything has gotten more and more insane. I'm glad you all are putting up a unified front, it's nice, but it's just another hair on the back, and I think this camel's done."
He looked miserable, though I was fairly sure he was trying to control himself.
My bow suddenly itched fiercely. Shooting them would drive right past the layers of crud between them and get to the heart of the matter. I could save their marriage! I pulled the bow free and put an arrow in the closer arm of either of them in a flash.
They squeaked with surprise before the arrows faded into them.
Her eyes half-lidded. "I don't love you," she suddenly confessed. "I want to. I want to, but I just don't... I feel like we're just going through the process, for appearances, for Tod, for each other... For anything but ourselves."
"I don't want to be alone," Rod confessed. "It's hard work. I just want someone there for me."
"I can't be that person," she replied with a sad tone. "I can't."
"Was it all a lie?"
She smiled a little at that. "I loved you, for years... But that fire went out. I meant what I said when I said that vow."
"The vow was supposed to be forever." He drew back half a step, going silent a moment. "But... I'm being a heel if I insist on you staying where you aren't... happy."
My interference had just made their breaking all the cleaner. That was not my goal. There was nothing I could do about it though... I crept away before I made a further mess of that.
The party was thoroughly cancelled.
It was time to go home. I gave and was given a hug by either of my parents, but no kisses. I suppose I might have been slow to smooch a gender swapped alien that had once been my daughter. Well-wishes were given, and we departed. I was a pony. The rest were humans. There was a problem. I pointed at the new human. "She doesn't have identification, or a ticket. How do we get her home?"
Starlight raised a hand, wriggling her fingers. "Oh, that's easy. She's not coming like that."
"I'm not?"
She shook her head. "Afraid not. This may tickle a bit." Soon we had an adorable pony doll. It was Night, as a pony, as a plush. Starlight hugged the new toy close and we made our way to the airport. Night got no vote in the matter. I made a quiet mental note to make up for the unannounced magical tomfoolery.
The driver was surprised to see me, but in a good way. "You're that horse!" He was very polite, really, offering to adjust the seat for my comfort and making sure I was belted in before the questions came. I spent the entire way explaining what being a horse was like. Trixie and Starlight were poorly hiding smiles when we stepped out onto the airport terminal.
People looked over as we made our way inside. Some people recognized me, some didn't. Both talked about it loudly, with some explaining to others what I was. I tried to pay them little mind but an occasional smile and making sure to be polite. I was a face for ponykind, all of it. I had to make sure it was a good face.
When I checked in my luggage and presented my identification, the counter helper peered at it and me. "You don't look like this," she pointed out fairly accurately.
I dug out my hospital release forms. "I've been in an accident. Legal actions are pending, and I can't update my identification until I get home." I pointed at the ticket. "Which is where I'm going. I have alternative forms of identification if it would assist? Credit cards, birth certificate, social security card?"
She glanced past my equine face to the line and back at me, clearly uncertain. A coworker tapped her on the shoulder. "He's that horse, let him go home."
"Oh." She handed my ID back to me. "Um, have a nice flight?"
The TSA agent was less confused and more alarmed. "You, woah, stop right there." When I stopped, he seemed pleased. "Good girl." He looked past me to the rest of the line. "Who's horse is this?"
"Do horses typically wear pants?" I asked with a cocked brow. "I have a boarding pass."
"Horses are not permitted on planes." He didn't sound like he was thinking it through much.
"Horses are entirely legitimate passengers if they are assisting a ticket carrying passenger." I raised a hoof to point at myself. "Being a ticket carrying passenger, can I go now?"
"Who... are you assisting?"
Starlight stepped forward. "He's my guide pony."
"One... moment." He made a quick call on his walkie talkie, and got an answer back just about as fast. "Yeah, go ahead." He sounded doubtful of the whole thing, but he wasn't stopping us. A victory!
Standing on two legs as a pony is awkward, but just because I was equine didn't mean I got to skip the scanner, so up I went and balanced awkwardly until they finished checking me for anything more unusual than my fur coat and fuzzy ears. Coming back to all fours, I bonked my nose on the glass. Why hadn't anyone designed these things to be pony friendly?
Trixie didn't have any explosives on her. That was nice...
We arrived at the gate to be intercepted by one of the airline employees. "You're boarding first, as a kindness for your unfortunate trip."
I wasn't born the day before. They wanted to get the pony out of the airport as quickly as possible. I had been seen by enough people. Any point I was trying to make was made for that leg of the journey. "So long as my friends can come with me." I waved a hoof at Trixie and Starlight, and soon we were all boarded and seated in the first class seats I had purchased what felt like years before.
As it turned out, laying back in a human chair wasn't nearly as bad as balancing on hind legs. I blamed it on not having to support myself. The cushy chair was fine for laying on. The flight attendants treated me like anyone else. I think falling back on their regular proceedings was helping them, and I wasn't giving them any reason, besides appearance, to deviate from that. I had no special requests. I was just a pony in first class. Nothing special there.
Partway through the flight, I felt my tail being tugged on. I barely had to turn my head. Eyesight is different for horses. I could see all around me. The trick was that I wasn't used to it, so I tended to focus on what was closer to the center of my vision. There was a child that had escaped their parent and was casually inspecting my new limb. I thwipped her little face with the tail and she sneezed at the ticklish sensation before darting away to the sound of her alarmed mother.
Neither Starlight nor Trixie were as awe struck as their first time. They focused on each other, playing various games together. I considered a nap, but couldn't relax enough for it. I dug out my phone and got to work. It remained a bit surprising to me that unicorn magic worked on touch screens, but I had no complaints. I thought my words, and spent my time productively as we soared through the sky.
Departing the plane was a whole other matter.
I stepped free of the boarding bridge, first off the plane. Flashes blinded me instantly. Cameras were clicking wildly. An official-looking man approached with a smile. "Welcome back, Linda Frohein. We hear your trip to the East Coast was... eventful."
That was one word for it. "Hello." I wasn't sure what else to say to the stranger or the many others that were watching us. "Can I help you?"
"I'm here for you." He produced an envelope and offered it towards me. "Your new identification."
I took hold of it in my magic and tore it open curiously in the twinkle of my horn's influence, the flashes picking up to capture the act. Inside was a Californian driver's license. It had all of my details, updated with what the hospital had recorded. There was a picture of me, as a pony. It had my name. It was official. I was Linda Frohein, the male pony. I fought against the smile that wanted to come free. "Thank you." I glanced at the mob of reporters and stepped to the side to let other people get off the plane behind me.
Starlight smiled at the man. "That's really thoughtful of you."
Trixie nodded. "Trixie takes back what she said earlier."
No one asked what Trixie said earlier. The man gestured ahead. "Are you still fit to drive?"
I nodded quickly at that. "I should be good to go from here."
"Good. If you suffer any other symptoms, let us know. You're the first known case of this awful condition, but likely not the last."
Condition? My ears went up at that. "Pardon?"
"Spontaneous Equine Disorder, or SpED, as it's being called." He nodded severely. "Fortunately, it's not contagious, but there is no known cure for it. We'll be in contact, have a safe trip home."
He didn't try to follow as we went forward, but the reporters were another story. They crowded close and bombarded us with questions. Amusingly, being hounded by them wasn't a first for me. I had been in a few higher profile cases. The trick was to keep moving. I wasn't entirely silent though. If they asked a reasonable question, they got a reasonable answer.
Yes, I felt fine. No, I wasn't in pain. Yes, I would go back to work. No, I didn't want special treatment. Yes, I could pick things up just fine, they just saw that.
We grabbed our luggage and left them all behind. I was home. California. My new home. New, old, it was still mine, and I was glad to be there. I was done with traveling for the moment, or planes, or family, or all of that. I wanted to curl up someplace dark and forget the world existed for a little while.
Arriving home, I went straight for the door and had it unlocked in a jiff. I threw it open and stepped forward and almost crashed into someone I had forgot in all of the everything that had gone on. There was my roomie. My once-maybe-lover was giving me a wry smirk. "Welcome home. Hey Starlight, Trixie."
They returned his little wave, but his eyes were on me, not them. Kevin and I met eyes for an awkward moment. I broke it with a soft snort. "How's the house been?"
"It's good." He stepped aside. "So, you're a pony now?"
"Pretty completely." I walked past him. "I thought I was on vacation, but work followed me along."
"I know that feeling." He sat on the back of the couch. "I got a promotion."
Trixie clapped her hands as she came in. "Congratulations! At the building business?"
"Nope." He shook his head. "You're speaking to your new contact and head of the facility you're building."
I turned to him. "They... put you in charge of the ponies?"
"And changed the mission." He pushed up to his feet. "We were never holding aliens, that's stupid. Just some Americans with this new disease that you've gone and shoved into the spotlight. I've been authorized to have the way back to Equestria opened where they can reach it, and they can leave. Those that don't will be properly entered into the records."
Starlight raised a brow. "And the unicorns?"
"Same deal. If they want to go, they go. If they stay, they pay taxes like everyone else. No more freeloading."
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That was some quick spin, yes.
I wonder how long it'll be before the rumors of the other world come out. Every pony who is not Linda did not have a life beforehand, and that will eventually be noticed, then called conspiracy theories, then, probably eventually, blown open.
Once unicorns and magic are accepted, an alternate universe they hail from will be less unbelievable.
And... well, that arrow didn't quite do what Linda wanted it to.
I notice Roy didn't ever say whether or not he was still in love. Maybe he didn't think it was important, whereas to her "I'm not in love" is the mission statement. She is not in love. Relationship over. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. But for him "I want to live with you and make this relationship work" is more important than "I describe this feeling as love."
Ponies have trouble paying taxes when the govt wont take solid gold coins for vegetables or kilogram perfect gems as payment for a small car.
How many people are currently being fleeced, poisoned and otherwise ripped off through diagnosis, help groups and all natural cures for the new disiese?
The disease angle? Well I suppose Linda paved the way for that one. Hard to backpedal from that one when she's building her whole case around it.
Still, the swiftness with which they're suddenly letting the Equestrians go is suspicious. Usually politicians are a bit more reluctant to let go of their cards.
though her case of the "disease" is quite unique in being not only a confirmed gender swap, but also the whole sleep petrification thing
8488178
She has not turned to stone on earth so far seen.
8488336
but it will make for quite a spectacle when she does.
8488097
Or they are just called crackpot conspiracy theorists as there is evident case in the primelight with name of Linda Frohein who even has a MEDICAL case pending, and proof of the said thing happening.
Still you are right, a lot of problems there if relations are ever to be opened with them ponies. And could be other countries have gotten ponies to talk and they might be all too eager to call out the US unless they are drown in money... and even still blowing existence of ANOTHER WORLD with MAGIC would put you in the history books forever. So temptation might be high with any and all leaders.
PS:
Headlines:
"Russia calls US liars and proves that they are attempting to monopolize entirely new world, its resources and MAGIC!"
images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/anBexpb_700b.jpg
8488666
I guess it depends how rare ponies are, and how good of liars each and every one is.
If they're rare, then nobody en-masse figuring this out can be more or less not spread around.
But... the more there are, the higher chance that things will get more clear. More ponies means more chances for people to undrstand the truth, and social pressure can only stand for so long against this.
Especially since I bet not all Equestrians are good liars.
Hmmm. A quick clean break with honesty is definitely better than the suffering caused by forcing things. Ugh, too close to home.
Interesting, is it really a disease if it's non-communicable? Probably the easiest way they could spin it, but this will not go unnoticed by the theorists!
Keep going! ;)
I want to see Hasbro contact Linda and gangs about the obvious copyright infringement. Should be fun to watch. Maybe they can collect loyalty to pay for the project.
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I have one, RL. There are many. Multiple Sclerosis, in this case. I can't pass it forward, but I have it. Diabetes is another example. You can't 'catch' that from someone, but it is still considered a disease/disorder.
Don't get caught in the slipstream of that spin!
8489361
Yeah, that's the point, a disorder is a disease you don't catch by external means. Apparently there's discussion in forums about this, but it's not really useful here to try debating pedantry...
Yay she still gets payed