Perchance to Dream

by David Silver

55 - Back To Work

Celestia had other important matters to get to, being the ruler of her people. I didn't stop her from going, and I took the chance to get some fresh Equestria air.

I wasn't allowed to enjoy it for overly long as an excitable mare came bounding towards me. "You're True Shot, right?"

I looked her over swiftly. She wasn't dressed in anything, which told me she was likely not one of the snooty nobles. "That's me. How can I help?"

"I heard from a friend in Ponyville," explained the mare, almost bouncing in place. "You can make ponies fall in love, right?"

"Not so much." I tried to wave the idea away. "I can make two ponies look at each other and face the truth of things, for good or not." I had thought I had abandoned the idea of my practice, but it seemed business was coming to me. "Did you need any help?"

She bobbled her head. "Two friends of mine. They keep flirting, but only when the other's not paying attention, then they get sad. It goes back and forth and back and forth and it's driving me crazy to watch! If you can make them stop trying to posture and impress and just look at each other, that would be great."

My bow tingled in that itchy way that I had learned meant I was being tempted to follow my purpose. I wanted to shoot those ponies and clear the air between them. "I can help, but it's not a charity." Even if I really did want to shoot them.

The mare didn't seem put off. "Oh, that's no problem. If it gets them to stop going through this over and over, it'll be worth every bit." Her horn glowed as a bag of bits floated into view.

We negotiated a rate quickly, with a bonus for basically ambushing them without them seeing me. The mare clopped her hooves eagerly. "Thank you so much! Put an arrow in either of their stubborn flanks and they'll at least be done with it." She turned and trotted off, seemingly content.

The targets were two nobles. One Fancy Pants and another Fleur Dis Lee? They both sounded relatively fancy from the descriptions, but the mare had been quite vocal in defense of them when I mentioned it.

"They're both sweethearts! They care about ponies, big and small." She was quite adamant about that. "You better be nice to them."

So I had my task, and was paid in advance. Ponies were trusting, but it wasn't like humans didn't charge in advance more often than not, though we had so many more laws about that sort of thing. I started musing how best to ambush the two. My patron, who hadn't given her name, had mentioned a few good places where they tend to either frequent or walk past.

I decided I wanted the least busy of the locales. They apparently walked past a pet shop every day in a part of town that wasn't very filled with ponies much of the day. According to the patron, Fleur often liked making faces at the puppies and talking about how she wanted to have one but didn't know she could put in the time and energy to do it properly, so she hadn't.

I gave her half a point for making the responsible decision to not adopt if she couldn't put in the time a pet required. Heaven knows I had opted out of a cat or a dog many times for just the same reason. I was far too busy and occupied to give them back what they needed to be healthy and happy. It wasn't enough to fill their bowls.

There was a ladder leading right up where I needed to be. That seemed almost too convenient. Fate? I wasn't quite willing to pencil it up to that, but I also wasn't complaining as I scaled the ladder. Let me note, a horse climbing a ladder? I felt so very odd, but I managed it. My hind hooves could stand on the rungs and I wrapped my fetlocks around each as I went up step by step. It was slow and I was worried I'd fall and break something, but I made it. I had a feeling if a 'real' pony did it, they'd probably just fly right up there without even stressing how impossible it was. Darn ponies.

My bow hovered beside me without me thinking about it until I saw it there, floating. "Sometimes I wonder if you have a literal mind of your own." The bow did not reply, but it felt... good in my mental grip. It wanted to be fired, I felt, and I wanted to fire it. Intelligent or not, our relationship was a beneficial one.

So, there I was, surveying the street beneath me while trying to be subtle. I felt like the most colorful spy ever. A horse spy, of course. Or... would that be more of an equine assassin? Yes, with bow out and ready, I waited patiently for my prey. I would end their lives in a flash. Twang twang, two arrows, two kills. I would shatter the life they knew. Hopefully it would be for the better.

I heard the clip-clop of hooves and felt my ears turning towards it without being asked. A peek showed the targets. Fancy Pants, who had no pants to speak of, and Fleur Dis Lee, who had a fleur de lis for a cutie mark. Of the two, I had to give Fleur higher marks for being honest with her mark. I knew that was childish. Fancy Pants was likely very fancy, despite his lack of pants.

Like clockwork, Fleur gravitated towards the display, gazing with a bright foalish expression as the puppies in the window. They seemed just as happy to see her and they began exchanging happy noises at each other. Fancy Pants stood beside her with a kindly smile, but he seemed to be being patient with her, in a good way. He had no special interest in the puppies.

They were standing still. My chance had come. I drew out and arrow, had it ready, and fired twice with the speed that came not from me, not personally. It just happened as I decided that was the right time. Even as I ducked back low, I decided I really needed to practice with the bow and be able to fire it without leaning entirely on my instinct, as well trained as that was.

I heard the yelps of two struck ponies and dared a peek.

Fleur was looking at Fancy in surprise, as he was at her. They were falling into each other's eyes and I smiled. My aim had been as true as my name, and they were lost in one another.

"You're the best brother I could ever ask for," sighed out Fleur.

What?

"And you are the finest sister any stallion could be blessed with." They hugged tightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," defended Fleur hotly. "Every stallion I meet wants one thing, and you know what it is."

Fancy huffed out a weary sigh. "Hanging off of me can't be sending an opposing signal, sister."

"On the contrary." She smiled at him. "They see me with you and don't even try. You're my shield, brother. You keep them away from me."

I slumped a bit. I had not been expecting that...

"If I am to be your shield, sister, then I will stand proudly." He stood tall. "None shall offend you in my presence."

Fleur smooched him on the cheek. "I could not dream of a more perfect brother. It must be such a chore... However will a mare approach you if they see me at your side at all times?"

Fancy gave a sudden cough. "It's no trouble at all." He glanced away.

Fleur approached him, perhaps goaded on by the arrow. "You cannot simply say that, brother. Tell me the truth."

He bit at his lower lip a moment before letting out a faint sigh. "I have no interest, sister. I enjoy the finer things in life. Fashion, a good race, fine wine, helping others to lead full lives. I have no interest in romance. You are my shield, sister. You keep them away." He was echoing her words back at her.

She flinched before she smiled a little. "We have much to discuss, but it's unseemly for us to do so here in an alleyway with the puppies as our witness. Thank Destiny for placing us both where we were needed and beside what we needed." She hugged him gently, and they strode off, side-by-side, so very content with the presence of the other.

I was not sure how to feel about it...

Was that heartwarming, or disturbing? I really wasn't sure. They weren't doing a thing wrong, in the end. They were two non-sexual ponies using one another to scare off anypony else that wanted to approach them. Was that bad? It didn't matter that they were siblings, considering they didn't do more than a hug or a kiss. In the end... it wasn't my business. I had no right to cast judgments down on them like the creepy stalker I was being. I wished them both the very best and got to climbing back down to street level.

My job was complete.

I trotted through the clean streets of Canterlot towards a specific place. I knocked on the door and it opened almost instantly. There was the mare. "Already? You're almost faster than I am," she exclaimed with a bright grin. "Oh, I never said my name, did I? I'm Minuette, now tell me everything that happened."

I wasn't so sure about that. "Nice to meet you, Minuette, but what they said was for their ears, not yours. I'm not a spy."

"Oh fine, just tell me they're done flirting."

Right... "I don't think they are, but they aren't getting sad about the results. It's... a game. They both know the rules and they both play it. They're fine, really."

"Really?"

"Really." I nodded softly. "I don't think they plan to take things any further than they already are, and they're both happy."

Minuette tapped her chin softly. "Huh, well, you did what I asked and got an answer, even if it's not the one I expected, so thank you very much, True Shot. I'll be sure to tell my friends you're in town. Are you planning to stay here?"

"I come and go," I reported honestly. "But ask at the castle and if I'm there, they can find me. I don't have an office yet." I might not ever get one, but I felt no need to mention that. "I enjoy helping ponies though."

"A pony after my own heart." She fluttered her lashes at me. "So what say you give us a test run, huh? You can poke me with one of those arrows and make me confess all my burning desires."

I blinked at Minuette. "Do you have those?"

"No." She was grinning. "But it's fun to think about." She suddenly hugged me tight and bounced back. "Thanks again!" And she shut the door with a glowing horn.

Ponies...

Author's Note:

In this chapter, nothing involving Earth occurs at all!

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Comments

[badninja]

Wait those two are siblings?! I do feel sorry for them as they do not want anypony but the other, platonically.

[Booster Spice]

Well, that problem was sorted in just a Minuette.

[HoneyBadgerr]

Hey, leave my headcannon alone

Brother and sister, eh? I've never seen an author put that spin on them before.

[tsaukpaetra]

wow we don't think that angle has been played before, neat!
One wonders if Minuette will come clean of her exception to Fancy and Fleur.
Keep going ! ;)

[RadicalDishonesty]

I suspected, for a second, that even them being siblings would not actually deter them... and the magic might cause them to confess things they absolutely do not want to ever confess.

It's for the best they wound up like this.

[Sylica telca]

Well that's an interesting twist that I rarely see anywhere.

[David Silver]

8171658 You are chewing through chapters! Soon you'll be caught up.