- Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen January 17th
JaydexTheShadowKnight
I'm an avid writer that enjoys creating human x pony romance stories. If you like what you've read, then perhaps you'd Buy Me A Coffee?
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Why didn't Gibson (Button's brother) come to the game?
25 likes and 0 dislikes is a real big feat, you should be proud. Your grammar is flawless and quite close to perfect, no such thing as a perfectly proofread piece after all.
Your word choice through in a moderate level is entertaining to read, what I have noticed, especially at the beginning, is what writers call an 'info dump'. It is okay to puff up a paragraph to make it sound better but sometimes it becomes evident and feels overly described, exhausting to read.
Don't get me wrong, the introduction paragraph was great but it could be better.
Next is the plot. You have done a great job with the ebb and flow of the plot and how the story in general progresses. I enjoy slow paced plot formatting, like this one, and I am not that picky about it. But it is a huge feat to do it correctly, well done.
I congratulate you in you work, od you ever need me drop me a line. I will also be adding this to my bookshelf.
Merry Chistmas
YES! New Jaydex classic romance!
You're making me think about doing a similar story with Posey at this rate Jadex.
As you know I am a sucker for your stories because of all the love and time put into them. This is no exception. I wish to talk more with you soon buddy because its been nearly 2 months since the last time we talked.
Oh boy. So Kevin is signing up to be a beta-provider for a single mom, eh? I think I know where this story plot is going! Twilight Sparkle is Cherish's divorce attorney. Very clever. You're a genius! I'm waiting to up-vote this story depending on how much alimony/foal-support ends up having to pay, and for how long.
Minor nitpicking :). If "Ponies and Dungeons" are meant to be a nod to a "Dungeons and Dragons" then there is already a canonical pony analogue - "Ogres and Oubliettes".
7819144
I'm not going to be following "Button's Adventures" original canon 100%.
7819368
Glad to hear you say that!
7819396
I found that during my research into her character.
7819445
Ah Posey, another of my farovite G1 ponies.
7819525
Glad you're enjoying this one too, and I've been meaning to be on Skype more often.
7819639
An interesting theory, we'll have to see what happens.
7819683
Awesome! Thanks for reading!
7819700
In fact with most of my stories I don't really acknowledge much in the way of canon past the end of season 2 and the beginning of season 3, for creative reasons. Plus, I've never really read much of the IDW comics. And I was originally going to go with "Ponies and Dragons", but I felt that was too limiting, where as calling it "Ponies and Dungeons", well you can find just about anything in a dungeon, including dragons. 
I've heard about that one, but the name, it just doesn't do it for me.
Imagine she is able to bear another foal
7819873 I messaged you today thinking you messaged me, then I looked at the time stamp and saw it was 2 months ago.
7819879
While it first appear in comics at this point it's already appear in show itself - episode "Dungeons and Discords".
But if you don't like it... Well, author freedom and all that :).
7819365
Thank you for the in depth feedback. I value comments like yours. They offer details on what worked and didn't work so well, and I have to agree with you. The initial reaction and commentary to start is very encouraging. I wasn't even sure if this story would stand out enough on its own to get much attention. So, I'm very pleased.
Yeah, what you found in the beginning is just more proof that I always have room to improve. I know that sometimes info dumps can be tiring to read, that's why I tried to limit it as much as possible. I long learned that grocery list descriptions for characters are a real no, no. So I try to add details here and there as the story unfolds, to avoid too much all at once. Heck, the reason I tried what I did with the beginning was due to inspiration I got from a book I was reading and some other stories I've read on here. Thankfully, in the next two chapters, I feel I've kept true to my normal writing voice, which you can see illustrated throughout the lion's share of this chapter.
So, you're saying if I need any advice or another set of eyes, I can simply contact you? If so that would be great and something I will certainly keep in mind.
You have a Merry Christmas too and a Happy Hearth's Warming.
7819894
I was having major internet connection trouble, and only recently got it fixed, but after that point I was mired in my work on Cherish Heart's story. I'll have to see about hopping on one of these nights. I can't believe it's been two months!
7819889
Imagine indeed.
7819903
Yeah, I know it was also referenced in that episode, which I enjoyed. Discord really amuses me these days. I'm hoping to work his release into one of my stories. I've got a really funny scene in mind for him.
That's one thing I am grateful for.
7819873 Yeah I've started to fall in love with Posey since I got to know her better after getting my G1 DVDs. I'm thinking she'll be with a girl but I don't have an O.C. in mind just yet. There is a lot of things I'm working out at the moment.
And yeah Posey is very lovable.
7819921 I can't believe it either! I got several stories worth sharing! Oh and I did get an... Unexpected gift from my mother for Christmas. She got me tickets to Journey concert. The last concert I went to was in 2012. It was in the middle of fall, it was an outdoor concert, as you can imagine it was really cold. But this one will be indoors and seated. It will be warm.
And here I was hoping that Kevin was the Changeling from 'Slice of Life' that she was going to have role-play as her son to do all kinds of naughty, kinky...- wait a minute, let me write this down.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/9/10/1246281__safe_twilight+sparkle_screencap_princess+twilight_animated_meme_scootaloo_sweetie+belle_edit_apple+bloom.gif
7820576
I never expected to encounter Button's Mom and become so taken with her that I would end up making a story about her. 
Even so, I regret nothing! 
That was next on my update list and still will be coming.
They went out into public, reaking of sex, around beings that have a very sensitive sence of smell
Is this mainly a clopstory, or a romance story filled with a few well placed sex scenes? I just want to know what I would get here and if it would be go over the four or five chapters I usually see with this character.
So nice to see you back. I've missed your writings. You've got a way with human & pony romance that's hard to top and a pure joy to read.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
7821081
The later, a romance story filled with well placed sex scenes, like most of my stories. And I've already got material outlined that should take this to five chapters or more already and I doubt it will stop there. I'm really enjoying writing about Cherish Heart, so I'm in no hurry to end this, not with so many ideas for it anyway.
7821167
Thank you. I can assure you I've really missed writing stories like these for you and my other readers. I'm glad you like my styling. It makes me smile. ^^
Oh, and I'm in the process of editing chapter 2,
7821996 Okay it is good to know that at least one of her stories is probably going to last longer and actually get's updated for once.
Pretty good job, overall. I'll admit, though, that I found the comma usage and sentence structure to be quite odd in some places; that would, perhaps, be my only real complaint. Additionally, I saw two instances of the word past that were used incorrectly, and in both cases, they should be changed to passed.
Aside from the issues mentioned above, the story is definitely very positive and sweet, which is exactly what I like the most about the content you share. I personally wouldn't ever write a story about a mom and her kid, but you've managed to make it work quite well.
7827017
Fixed. Thanks for pointing them out.
7822620
That's my plan, to keep it updated. In fact I'm currently editing chapter 2 and have started work drafting chapter 4.
7827270
No problem, and if you ever have a question about something related to grammar, punctuation, or style (but not story structure and stuff like that), feel free to hit me up. Can't wait to read what you have planned for upcoming stories. I'm especially interested in the continuation of For Whom She Sparkles.
Greetings Jaydex. Just a quick note to say I've enjoyed what I read so far and am looking forward to the next update.
Quite a sweet start of a story. Have a like, will be waiting to see where it'll go from here
7834457
Thank you! The next chapter should be ready soon. I just need to give it one final edit and it'll be ready to post.
7836897
Thankfully, you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. Thanks for the like.
7831932
I'll keep that in mind if I have any questions of that nature.
Awww! What a sweetie! I knew I was going to like Kevin.
And he has an eye for ladies fashion. A very promising partner in my opinion.
Now, I wonder, is our protagonist going to be the money issue or a former marefriend of Kevin's being jealous... Or perhaps a little of both? Can't wait to see!
Wait so he only paid 25 in the end was that a typo or did I miss something
7839155
Nope, he only paid 25 in the end. The shirt was originally 45 bits, but since it was a summer/fall close out, Rarity dropped it to 30 and then since Kevin was a regular customer, she discounted it another 5 bits.
Well Rarity was somewhat bubbly during this chapter. That is not something you see everyday from that mare.
Nice chapter. Loving the further peek into the world your building.
I finally started to read it, and to be honest I hoped it would start with him somehow getting involved with ....how was she called again?.....Milano?
Sadly it is pretty rare that an author is writing how two are falling in love and after that, how it actually continues, even more rare it would be to see that happen without a timeskip that takes away all the cute moments that only have that certain affect the first time it happens.
However so far it seem nice.
at first I had that usual "i hate it reaction", but then again I don't really remember why I never enjoyed that shipping or stopped liking it. Maybe it was because of seeing Sweetiebell OCC to often, but to be honest I would admit that they can look cute together. I only changed how I think about them because of some storys.
I need to read more later, sadly I had really not much time.
it seems to be so much fun to tease others about it. I never liked it when others where doing it, but maybe that was because kids in y school where real real assholes back then.
that nearly sounded like he would think of those thing as not being optimal.
Nice story so far.
7839371 I agree it was a nice chapter.
That chapter is adorable. It made my feels nice and warm.
I don't know if I'm just going crazy or something, but the comma use in this chapter appears to be a lot better than the previous one -- nearly perfect, in fact. Either way, that's great. My only complaint, which I forgot to point out in the first chapter, is that the story is written in past tense. It's not really a fatal problem, but I really do prefer stories that are in the present; they feel more relevant and just seem to flow better.
Here are some minor errors for you:
1) Peanut Butter Lover's Pie is confusing without a hyphen. It should preferably be Peanut-Butter-Lover's Pie or equivalently Peanut Butter–Lover's Pie (with an en dash).
2) In the pie-eating scene, the word sweetheart is mistakenly split as sweet heart.
3) Also in the above sentence, lady's first should be ladies first.
4) Near the end, Rarity says, "We can get that packed up for your." I assume the last word was meant to be you.
I can't guarantee that those are all of the bugs, but since you seem to welcome input, I hope those help.
Overall, excellent story -- a pleasure to read as always, buddy. I now find myself wanting to see what you have planned for the next chapter. It's funny to think how this was going to be a one-shot originally.
UPDATE: I feel like I focused too much on the mistakes, and since you don't seem to have read comments for this story yet, I figured I'd append mine so that I can elaborate on which part(s) I liked the most because, again, this really is a well-written story, and I'd like my review to reflect that.
I thoroughly enjoyed both halves of this chapter, so it's tough to pick a true favorite. The pie in the first half sounds absolutely delicious, and I always appreciate good food in a romantic story. If I had to choose, though, I'd have to say that I liked reading the latter part even more just because Rarity is one of my favorite mares. In fact, the reason I came back to this in the first place was to re-read that particular section.
You and I definitely have a lot of striking similarities when it comes to how we write romance (which you'll see if you ever get around to reading my book
), but I guess that's no coincidence, considering I pretty much learned what good romance is by reading your stories.
More sweet fluff! Always a good thing.
So Rarity seems to harbor feelings towards Kevin. Or is she one of the exes she mentioned that let him go too easily?
That ending, "The unicorn nodded and continued to smile as they exited her shop." felt almost abrupt, as if to end on a relatively sad note. As if she was holding the smile just for them, and would drop it the moment they left.
If that was the intention, good job! Unless there is going to be too much drama, it's always good (at least to me) to see some more depth to a story
Gonna follow this and see where it goes. The only point of complaint I can find is that it's really, really awkward when the characters' dialogues are themselves the info dump:
If the characters must reference it in dialog only, assuming it's not mentioned previously or left for later, it can be made to sound more natural. Consider:
Just a thought for that kind of thing. Less back story through dialogues and more letting the reader get a feel that something happened, and a feel for how it's affecting the characters: Cherish doesn't even mention who was in the accident because it's still something fresh in mind to a degree, no matter how long it's been, and Kevin gets to be a pillar for her.
Estimated Reading: 44 minutes, 5.7599999999998 seconds
This is a wonderful romantic clop story.
I admire the effort-of-thought you gave to creating not only a name for Button Mash's mom, but also a complex and intriguing personality.
I look forward to more chapters in the story.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/8/7/393620__safe_solo_oc_image+macro_button's+mother_artist-colon-jan_button's+adventures_truth_milf_button's+mom+has+got+it+going+on.JPG
sorry, not sorry
DAMN IT NOW I'M HUNGRY
Beautiful,as always my friend. I certainly always enjoy looking at it over and over. It certainly gets my heart pumping faster in anticipation. I really love your writing and writing style. It certainly makes me smile. Keep up your bloody amazing work!!!
Chapter 2 was great. Perfect everything. Always remember, that in the end, your fans always got chur back. Ive been following your stories ever since I saw lunas. And gods. Was that the best story I had read at the time!
Noice